


The Loudest Become The Strong

by robertstanion



Series: Something You Pine For [3]
Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: ACAB, Angst, Autistic Hannah Foster, Autistic John McNamara, Autistic Paul Matthews, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Paulkins rights, Sniggles say nonbinary rights, Swearing, The Apotheosis - Freeform, alternative universe, black friday - event, but it's pretty easy to catch up on what's happening if you want to read it as a standalone, dimension 3, smut mentions, the third instalment of the sypf series, we all bully sam, xander has powers au, xander is a part of the black and white
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 110,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23565433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: Whoever speaks first is usually the victim to that reality. Unfortunately for Xander Lee, he spoke at the wrong time. Now he has to face the consequences of committing the action.
Relationships: Alice/Deb, Becky Barnes/Tom Houston, Bob Morris/Howard Goodman, Charlotte/Sam, Charlotte/Ted, Ethan Green/Lex Foster, Hot Chocolate Boy/Cineplex Teen, John McNamara/Howard Goodman (Mentioned), John McNamara/Xander Lee, Man In A Hurry/Gary Goldstein, Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins
Series: Something You Pine For [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1539838
Comments: 14
Kudos: 14





	1. The Loudest Become The Strong

**Author's Note:**

> BOOK 3 BABEY:
> 
> so hello to any new readers who want to read this as a standalone, or who read SYPF or TAHS before this and haven't visited the series in a while, here is a recap of what happened (mentions of assault, abuse and death in the summary):
> 
> Paul blows up the meteor. He and Alice pretend to be infected. Him, Alice and Emma escape. Emma falls pregnant with paul's child. paul gets infected (i think) and they end up in hq. hidgens goes mental and paul escapes. Paul finds Emma and sees his child. Emma gets infected and stabs the baby, sike it's a dream. back to the apotheosis and john's gone to clear the island of hatchetfield with colonel schaffer. he sees the infected bodies of his husband and daughter, john gets infected, they get cured. john finds out his husband cheated on him, john's marriage becomes abusive. john's husband dies. paul dies of the apotheosis at his wedding. john blows everything up. book 2 and john's ex husband (nick) is alive again lol. somehow john ends up in the black and white and drags ethan out with him. i don't even remember what happens in tahs tbh, all you need to know is that wilbur assaulted xander, which is what chapter 1 of this book refers back to. anyways at the end, john and xander go to get married, wilbur, linda and john's ex husband gate crash everything. sike, it's a cliffhanger. find out what happens here. 
> 
> (also i did mean Xander Lee and nOt McNamara-)
> 
> TWs: reference to Xander's s*icide attempt from book 2 and the assault

A young man, the age of 35, remained still, staring at the floor at his own wedding. He could feel his bones shaking as he suppressed his sobs deep into the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t giving in. He wouldn’t, he wasn’t, and he never would. It hurt. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of his life and it had been for a while. He should have expected it. Who was he to get what he wanted? A nice family, a nice husband, a nice life. Just something above average would have satisfied him…but this was the wrong sort of average. One would say he should be thankful, but he couldn’t be thankful when he could feel that disgusting man’s eyes trailing over his body, picturing what he was like. The scars. They hadn’t healed. They always seemed to vanish, and he thought it was over until at his peak they reappeared. Two white lines that overlapped each other that made his blank canvas of a body covered in scratches dug by nails. He’d tried everything. Now he had to face the facts. He was broken.

He felt his chest tighten and he gasped for air, holding the breath firmly in his chest. He bit back tears and the urge to stare up. He could feel everyone looking at him. He felt the tear run down his cheek and could swore he heard the soft splash it made when it hit the floor. It wasn’t enough to hide his weaknesses for he heard the shrill laughter of the three in front of him. The three at the door. The three who had caused him the utmost torture in his life. Two were his husband’s ex's, the other…he didn’t know what Linda’s relation to John was, but it must be something vitally important for her to want revenge.

He didn’t understand why they wanted to kill him so badly, but they did. It’s why he found himself gripping John’s hand, a soft sob erupting from his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He didn’t want to hear what was going to happen next. He knew what was going to happen next. He was trying to plug his ears with the thoughts of happier memories, simpler times, times where he didn’t get to hate his wedding. Things had been so perfect, yet the sour laugh echoed around the hall.

“You’re sorry?” Wilbur asked. “Sorry for what, Xander? Your attempted suicide at 2 AM this morning? The fact you were so weak you kissed me back? The fact you begged for it to happen? For you to drop your clothes in my sight and let me fuck you? Oh, you dirty little-“

Xander didn’t have time to hear Wilbur’s hurtful words as he pulled away, from John, fleeing from the scene. He burst out the doors and as soon as he was out, more tears began to fall; he didn’t try to stop them. It’s a good thing he kept his keys on him. There was a certain tool he used just in case of emergencies. He didn’t think the day would end like this. He didn’t think he’d be the princess running away from the ball, yet he was. He was Xander James McNamara, and he was putting a stop to this.

* * *

Back inside, the absence of his new husband’s hand leaving his own had left the feeling of static in its presence. John began to breathe heavily and looked up to the three. “You can’t let me have one thing, can you?! You can’t let me be happy for five minutes! It is my wedding day! I’m supposed to cherish this day, not want a do-over!” He screamed at the three, mostly directed at the man who’d turned up soaked in blood. “I’ve been wanting to marry that man for so long! We’ve been through so much together, too much even! And in the early hours of this morning, he confessed to me what an asshole you were back to him in the early stages of this year. When you pinned him against a wall, when you hurt him senseless as he stated he didn’t want what you gave him. You pushed him to his limits where he felt the need to get out of bed this morning and go downstairs with a full bottle of fucking pills in his hand!” He was becoming increasingly overwhelmed as the time ticked on. “And I saved his life, and you’ve driven him back! He can’t have one fucking thing in this dumbass world! He needs someone like me and if he can’t have that-“ John cut himself off. He charged forward but was stopped by Nick.

“Hush now, puppy. It’s okay. He’s gonna be fine.” Nick said, a voice harsher than that of a thousand flames. Chairs screeched backwards and the sound of guns being loaded rang around the room.

“He is not going to be fine.”

“Nick Johnson, let John go.” Icacks shouted. John turned around to see them pointing their guns at him. ‘Them’ going by the names of Jack Martins, Gareth Icacks and Colonel Felicity Schaffer. John watched Gareth try to get pulled down by his brother, but the ex-general wouldn’t give up.

“Why should I?” Nick asked bitterly wrapping his arm around John’s throat, holding his back against Nick’s front. John spluttered and looked to the others. None of them could shoot without hurting John and nobody could risk losing him now. They all understood the inevitable by now. One of them wasn’t making it out alive this evening, and none of them knew who it would be. “He ripped me from my chances! I always told him if he was well behaved then we could live in harmony! And what does he do? He goes to rip his chances away! So be for that reason, we’re ripping his chances away from his new family! Say bye bye!” He said his, eyes glowing a menacing green as he produced a knife and in a quick motion, removed his arm and instead replaced it with the knife. John flinched and backed up more against Nick in an unintentional manner. “Would anyone like to say any final words?!” He called. John had noted how quiet Linda and Wilbur had been through this entire process, and he was beginning to get suspicious. Then he heard the sharp cough of the leader of the group and he could already hear his pathetic smile.

“I would like to say a few words.” Wilbur said and stepped forward, facing John. “You’re pathetic. You always thought you’d make it in life, but where did it get you? Nowhere. You still rely on daddy to assist you, or else why would Icacks be back at the precinct? And your stupid daughter and her boyfriend. I’m surprised you didn’t see the connection sooner. Because it’s just a fragment of your imagination. You’re gonna die at your wedding day and you can’t do anything about it, John!”

“Not if I can help it.” A younger voice spoke calmly before three gunshots rang out the hall. John felt the coldness pressed against his neck become warmer as the weapon clattered to the ground. Nick’s arm went lose and he collapsed leaving John standing upright again. He looked up to Wilbur, who had a gunshot through his forehead. The man’s eyes went cold, and he fell backwards. John spun around to see the remaining three. One was tall and he carried a young girl on his hip. Beside him was an agent. An agent decked in black denim whose loose brown curls fell on to her shoulders. In one hand, she held a lit cigarette. In the other, she held a smoking gun. She holstered the weapon and held out her hand. “General McNamara.” She smiled. “Think I’d miss your wedding?”

“I don’t understand…” he said trying to piece together the information he’d been given. “Lex, you’re not supposed to be here right now!”

“Yeah, well I am! And I just saved your fucking life!” She beamed. “Uh, John that’s Ethan and my little sister, Hannah. Babe, this is my boss.”

“Lex, you’ve told me about him before, I know who he is.” Ethan rolled his eyes.

John shook his head and watched the two before he opened his mouth. “Did you see where Zee went?”

“Oh. Yeah, he had a hydrogen bomb in his hand, and he was heading for your car.”’

“Fuck.” He said and looked at the private. “You’ve got it from here?”

“Of course, sir. Now go get Zee.” She said and saluted to John, John mimicking the motion before he unbuttoned his jacket and ran out of the building.

* * *

“Xander Lee, what are you doing?” He asked himself as he sat in the car, fiddling with the object in his hands. The weapon was about the size of a large bullet and it was coated in white plastic. As soon as the pin would be pulled, it would be over. Maybe he’d find a dimension where he’d settle down and be happy. Or maybe that dimension would be where he didn’t exist. Either way, he was debating it with an internal feud. He ignored the tears by now and focused on the consequences, the pros and the cons. His thoughts were soon interrupted when he heard the car door open.

“What are you doing?!” John shouted at him and Xander backed into the door. “You can’t just run the fuck off like that and then- a hydrogen bomb?! Really?!” He said, pain seeping through into his natural tone. “On our wedding day?!”

“Well it’s not the first time this has happened John!” Xander cried and looked at his husband. “You can’t act like you didn’t ruin Paul and Emma’s in dimension one!”

“I didn’t ruin Paul and Emma’s day! Paul had died of the apotheosis! I’ve told you this! Paul’s body gave up the fight! I couldn’t have Emma living in pain!”

“Yet you’re forcing me to continue to live like this!” His eyes were burning as he faced him. “You can’t let Emma live in pain but because we’re married now you can’t stop me?! John, you don’t care!”

“Don’t you dare start!” John said and got in the car, slamming the door. “I care about you more than anyone else in this damn world. I saved your life because I want to get you help! Why can’t you see that?!”

“Because my vision is blinded by the fact I’m never going to be good for anyone! Including you! Now you’re upset with me because I can’t stay alive and everything hurts, and I got stood up at my own wedding and-“

“Zee, you didn’t get stood up.”

“Shut up John!” He shouted as his face crumpled. After sitting still, frozen in a picture for a few moments of toxic bliss, Xander reached to unpin the cap of the bomb, quickly followed by John snatching the weapon and throwing it out of the window.

“You don’t need it.”

“Yes, I do!” He sobbed. “I can’t keep going like this John! I can’t keep going! I’m weak and everyone knows it!”

“Nobody thinks you’re weak, sweetheart.”

“You’d be surprised!” He laughed and wiped his tears. “John, I want to go home.”

“We can go home.”

“But then I’ve ruined our wedding.”

“You haven’t ruined our wedding.”

“Yes, I have!”

“No, you haven’t.”

“Yes, he has.” The two men snapped their heads around to se the same man, a green apple in his hand. He laughed. “You forgot one thing. I’m invincible.”

“You’re a fucking liar!” John hissed, causing a smirk to reform on the man’s face. There were more blood stains on his jacket, presumably from where he’d been shot.

“I can’t die. That’s the miracle of signing up to a God. You can’t die. You obey his rules and you survive. Now, you two, say goodbye.” Wilbur said, his eyes flashing green again as he snapped his fingers. Xander grabbed John’s hand as there was a blinding light before them.

When Xander reopened his eyes, he was back at PEIP. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, utterly dumbfounded by the situation which had just occurred. He stood up and felt a plastic like fabric hit his ankles. Xander was now in his old lab which had confused him. The room was significantly smaller than what he’d expected when he’d signed up…but why was he in his old lab? Remembering correctly, he headed to the east side of the room where a mirror hung on the wall. Xander wished he could have prepared himself for what he saw, but he didn’t. He jumped when he saw his reflection. He was wearing his lab coat and his goggles a top of his head…but he was younger. He wasn’t 35 anymore. How could he be younger? It didn’t make sense! Beginning to panic, he rolled up his sleeve, feeling the PEIP officiated watch still earning its place on his wrist. He tapped on the screen and read the date as it flashed in blue.

_September 27 th 2007_

How could it be 2007? Moments ago, he was in John’s car in 2020…this was impossible. They’d created the impossible from scratch, and he was 22 years old. He touched his face in shock, feeling metal against his face. Taking a shaky breath, he pulled his hand away to see the same ring that had been placed on his hand just earlier in the day thirteen years in the future. _My wedding ring…_ again, his thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. He spun around to see Schaffer standing there, her arms folded neatly against her chest as per usual.

“You, Private Lee, look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” She smiled.

“No, no it’s okay…” he sighed.

“Anyway, I’m not hear to chat with you.” She stepped to the side and pushed someone else in. “He was asking for you. I didn’t know you knew John.”

Xander looked at John’s hand, the same silver metal present on his hand. “I know John.” He said and swallowed nervously. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Affirmative.” Schaffer said and closed the door to Xander’s lab. As soon as they were alone, John ran into Xander’s arms.

“Zee we’re in 2007-“ He said, panicked. Xander pulled away and looked at him. He was younger. His resting face back then, even when he was upset, his lips seemed to always be smiling. His eyes were a brighter shade of blue, and his hair, though shorter, was a significantly brighter shade of blonde. It wasn’t that ashy brown shit, it was blonde. He wished he could say it was weird seeing this side of John, but now he wouldn’t change it for the world. Xander took his hand.

“I don’t know we’re here, but we’re still married okay? We’re gonna get home to 2020. I don’t know how but I’m gonna make it happen. But we gotta stick to history.”

“Can’t we stay together?”

“You’re with Nick. It’s gotta stay like that. John, I don’t want this anymore than you do. And it’s all because I ran-“

John didn’t want to hear Xander trash talk himself, so he did the one thing he knew how to. He kissed Xander. Thankfully, his old lab was always blacked out. Xander felt tears in his eyes as they pulled away. “247AB9. That’s my code. Enter it in your watch and we’ll get through this.” He pressed their foreheads together. “I love you, Xander James McNamara. Never forget it.” He said before he left. Xander was thrown back into reality right there and then. He may always feel like a Lee at heart, but he knew he was a McNamara. It would take some adjusting, but he’d be okay.

* * *

It shouldn’t be like this. It was 2007 which meant that he was still dating Nick and Wilbur was still his mentor. Though he may be a Colonel, it didn’t mean it made John important in any shape or form. He thought he was the best person on Earth back then, but he’d met so many better people since, and none of them were Nick. He knew the outcome of his life. He knew he would adopt a daughter who would date a private and have a daughter named Amber. He knew Paul and Emma would have their baby. He knew Emma would learn to forgive Becky. He knew that his team would expand quicker than any team in PEIP’s history. Then, he’d be able to welcome Schaffer and Xander to his side of the precinct. Right now, he needed to speak to Icacks, who was the General right now.

As he was walking, he was suddenly plunged into darkness when he felt two hands cover his eyes. Heart beginning to hammer and his instincts kicking in, he wanted to fight. He tensed before he heard the soft voice of a man humming “guess who?” in his ear. This was 2007. This was before the abuse. And John was married…sort of. He began to breathe and smiled. He may not have gone to school for acting, but damn was he an amazing actor.

“Nick.” John laughed and pushed his hands off of him. Nick laughed and spun John around.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” he asked as he hugged him. John listened to Nick’s steady heartbeat. He’d forgotten about how Nick used to be. He wasn’t sure if re experiencing it was a positive or a negative thing.

“I’ve gotta go speak to Icacks okay?”

“You’re always in with that damn man.” Nick huffed, but it was clear he was just teasing. “You have no time left for me anymore sweetheart! I’m going to die without you, John!”

“You won’t die without me.” He said, smiling awkwardly, praying Nick didn’t read the false emotion. Nick only laughed and let him go.

“I just wanted to check in on you. I haven’t seen you all day and I missed you.” He proceeded to say as he took John’s hands. “But I’ll see you at home, won’t I?”

“Of course you will.” Shit. John forgot, as of this time, he was living with Nick. No late nights with Xander anymore. He had to relive history and it hurt.

“Alright. I’ll have a movie on by the time you get back Mr Colonel.”

“It’s just Colonel and you know it.” John said, a growl unintentionally leaving his throat. Nick raised an eyebrow.

“That was hot.” He grinned. “Can I get a kiss?”

“Maybe.” _For the love of God, no!_ But Nick had thought John was teasing. Nick didn’t know about Xander. Nobody could know about him and Xander. It’s why John kissed back, because he had to protect his future. Nick pulled back and hugged John again.

“Now go. I’ll see you at home.” He said before walking in the opposite direction as John. Speeding up more, he approached Icacks’ office with caution. He had to date Nick. He’d soon be free. But he needed answers.

* * *

Icacks was pacing his office, a smaller man sat in the chair in front of him. He’d pinched the bridge of his nose. He was clearly stressing out as the other man pursed his lips. “What the fuck do you mean you got fired?”

“Gareth, how much simpler can I get?! I got fired from my job!”

“Yet you come to me?!”

“You said if I ever needed it, I could go to you!”

“That was 10 years ago before you cut me off! What do you want from me?! A job? Money? You know what? What’s the reason you got fired?!”

“You’re gonna hate me even more- just let me have a go at being here! I’ll do the cleaning even! Gareth please-“

“Why did you get fired, Michael?!”

Michael bit his lip. “I got fired because of my sexuality. Now, if you’re happy, I would like to talk to my brother!”

“For the first time in 10 years, Micah! You being gay doesn’t bother me! What bothers me is the fact you haven’t talked to me for a decade and then show up at an active military site expecting me to just give you a job?!”

“Yes!”

“Well it doesn’t work like that. I can’t be your brother; I can’t defend you all the time. You need to learn to defend yourself.” He turned his back away from his brother. “Get out.”

“What?!”

“Michael, get out and go home. Because I don’t want you stepping foot on my precinct again.” There were several moments of silence before there was a crash and the slamming of a door. When Icacks turned around again, the chair was on the floor. He sighed and sat down in his own as there was a knock at the door. “Come in!”

* * *

As Michael left his brother’s office, another man walked in. Michael didn’t give a fuck who that person was. In fact, it was probably someone asking for a job and receiving it. Rage burned through him and he stormed out of the building, getting back in his car. He threw off his coat and left it in the backseat. He drove home, thinking of how he’d explain his current situation to his boyfriend. His counterpart was rich, yes, but they had to pay rent and for food. He couldn’t pay for the two of them. And yes, Michael had only been working in a coffee store before, but he could steal kisses over the counter. Now…now he didn’t know where he was going to end up. He wouldn’t be able to afford to put gas in his car meaning he’d have to walk everywhere. He wouldn’t be able to afford a lot of the things anymore, and he didn’t want to rely on his boyfriend. He parked the car and grabbed his coat, getting his keys out of the pocket.

He unlocked the door and was met by the smell of something baking in the kitchen. It wasn’t a strange occurrence. When they’d first moved in, he’d learned that this was the new normal. Usually it was comforting, but now it made him feel sick. He was broken out of his thoughts when he saw his boyfriend at the door. “What’s up with you?” He asked, the words soft.

“What’s up is my brother hates me and I got fired for being gay.” He said and dropped his keys in the pot and sat on the couch. “You see, my brother always said, ‘Micah, if you have a problem, you can come to me’ so I did. But apparently, I’m not enough, Gary. I’m never enough for this damn family.”

“Well, Micah, you’re enough for me.” Gary said as he sat down beside him, wrapping an arm around him. “And whatever happens, it’s all gonna be okay. It’s not like you liked working at the coffee store anyway.”

“I liked getting kisses off you over the counter and you liked looking at my ass in jeans.”

“Not particularly!” Gary said and kissed his cheek. “But you got a whole other option of jobs now! You can find some place happier honey. We’re gonna work through this together okay?”

Michael sighed. “You’re right.” He said and leaned against him. “What are you baking now?”

“You’re favourite. I had a feeling today hadn’t gone well.”

Michael smiled then. “You always know.”

“Of course I do! Why wouldn’t I?”

Michael shrugged but kissed his cheek. “I just don’t want to be a burden on us.”

“Now, that’s not correct. You make us better! I’m always out with a client and you always make sure I’m okay! You’re a perfect boyfriend!”

“There are so many gaps for me to fill.”

“There aren’t!” Gary pouted before kissing Michael’s head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Gary.”


	2. About Our Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael Icacks questions his wellbeing  
> John McNamara makes a stupid mistake name wise, screams in the backyard and questions his morality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do we stan michael icacks in this household? Most deedly definitely
> 
> anyways so i postponed this book for a month which, compared to SYPF AND TAHS, is not good tm

Michael sighed as he moved Gary’s arm into a more comfortable spot. “So, Mr Goldstein, how was work today?” He asked and kissed his jaw, feeling Gary smiled.

“I got a new client. She’s rich.” At that, Michael raised an eyebrow and looked over his shoulder, looking up at Gary.

“And who would this client be?” He asked, immediately interested by the topic of conversation.

“Linda Monroe, married to Gerald Monroe.”

Michael laughed in disbelief, turning his whole body to face Gary this time. “Are you serious?! Linda Monroe is your new client?!”

“I know! That was my reaction!” Gary grinned. “She requested me specifically for some reason, she wouldn’t tell me why.”

“So then Mr Lawyer who’s about to become incredibly rich, why is she in need of a lawyer?”

“Apparently she needs to sue someone over something. I didn’t really pay attention to the case, but even though it’s minor, she’s suing for a lot of money.” He smiled at his boyfriend. “So you won’t have to worry about finances. Darling, we’ve got this in the bag.” He said and took Michael’s hand and kissing his knuckles.

Michael’s smile faltered at that and pulled his hand away. “I’m gonna go shower…” He said and stood up. Gary didn’t seem to notice the sudden change in mood in the room.

“Okay, Micah! The cake will be ready when you’re out!”

“Okay.” He sighed and walked upstairs, heading straight to their bedroom. He grabbed a clean change of clothes before he walked to the bathroom, flipping on the shower. His eyes kept peering back at his phone, which was perching on the sink. He sighed and undressed, climbing straight in. He thought having a shower would relax him, but it only made him more tense. His plan was to get the negativity out of his hair, but the water only built to it. He ended up sitting on the floor of the shower and pressing his back against the wall. Why did his brother hate him so much? There wasn’t a reasonable explanation as to why he did. Micah had always tried to be a top student all his life, yet he failed. He failed a lot. Then his older brother would come in and swoop all of Micah’s pride away. When Micah got his first job, Gareth already had a second promotion. When Micah got a promotion, Gareth was already married. When Micah moved out, Gareth had a son.

And then he met Gary.

Micah found himself relaxing at the memory. He’d been working since 6 that morning at the coffee store. He wore a white short sleeve shirt under a blue apron fit with blue jeans. He wore basic canvas shoes. He hadn’t had to tie his hair up then as it had been cut to make him look more manly. His parents didn’t understand why he’d wanted to grow his hair out. They didn’t understand Micah’s feelings towards other men. It was 3PM and Micah had another 20 minutes on shift before he could go home and he was exhausted. He was on shift with three other girls. Nora, Elissa and a girl who refused to share her full name, so they all called her Lou. The coffee store was very quiet, _unusually_ quiet, so for a man in a brown suit to burst through the doors looking panicked, it certainly turned some heads. “Can I get some coffee?” The man had asked. Micah had waved a dismissive hand towards the others and leaned against the counter.

“What kind?” He asked, and seeing another wave of panic cross the man’s face bought a lot of satisfaction to the barista.

“I-I don’t know?”

“Calm down.” Micah laughed and began to make his specialty. “Why are _you_ in a hurry?” He asked.

“Well, I have a client who is very pushy.”

“A client? What are you? A prostitute?” He asked, pouring the caramel sauce into the cup.

“Oh no!” The man was now flustered, which only bought Micah more joy. “I’m a lawyer.”

“Ah, a nerd. Girls, we have a nerd in our store!”

“No, no! She…she’s really pushy and…” He turned when he heard the bell ring to see a girl with short blonde hair stepping forward. Micah raised an eyebrow as Lou took to the second cash register. The aura immediately changed and Micah felt the lawyer’s eyes move to his name tag. “So, Michael, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you tonight?”

Micah rolled his eyes, yet chose to play along. “Of course, dear. I’m not an idiot.” He poured in the coffee and slid it across the counter. “It’s on the house.” He watched the blonde scoff from beside him and leave with a black coffee Lou had made her. The lawyer obviously relaxed.

“Thank you for playing along, I wasn’t sure-“

“Hey. I do it all the time.” He smiled. “Michael Icacks. And you are?”

“Super gay-“ The lawyer said, causing Michael to laugh obnoxiously, startling the girls. Now bright red, he quickly scribbled down something on the receipt of paper and Micah read it, a smile tugging at his lips.

_Gary Goldstein – Attorney At Law_

_Address: 12 Alexandria Road._

_Maybe I’ll see you tonight?_

Micah rolled his eyes again and folded the receipt up, putting it in the pocket of his apron. He turned to Lou, who had her eyebrow raised and arms folded. He immediately dropped the smile and jabbed a finger toward her. “You say nothing to nobody.”

His shift finished much quicker as his mind drifted to the secretive man in the tall suit. His sense of urgency and desperation was intriguing if anything. So when 3:20 rolled around, Micah hung up his apron and left the store. By 3:25, he was outside Gary Goldstein’s apartment. He knocked and the same man opened the door. “You’re actually here.” He said, his eyes slightly wide.

“Well, if a tall man in a blazer pretended to be your boyfriend to get away from a snobbish bitch then I’d like to get to know him. May I come in?” He asked, fastening his beige overcoat over his uniform. Gary nodded and stepped to the side. With a kind smile, Micah stepped inside.

Immediately, the setting was something Micah wasn’t used to. The house wasn’t what Micah would have described as _rich_ , but it was certainly flashy in areas. The carpet was a rich red colour and the walls were painted cream. In the hallway, there was a burgundy oak table to the left, up against the staircase. On the table were books one would find a student at university owning. There was a mirror on the wall in a golden frame. Whether it was painted or the precious metal, the gold looked authentic enough, so Micah made a mental note to never touch it. The first room on the right was the living room. It was fairly similar to that of the hallway, following the colour scheme or maroons and rich reds with golden ornaments scattered around. The kitchen was at the end of the hall, and Micah had caught a glimpse of what lay inside. The floor was white, as far as he could see, and there was a warm light filling the room. That’s all he could note on. Gary had lead Micah into the living room, so Micah took a seat on one of the chairs in there. “Would _you_ like some coffee?” Gary asked, shuffling his feet, appearing nervous. Micah only smiled kindly up at the man.

“I’m a barista. All I drink is coffee. If you can make it black, that’d be great.” He said. Gary nodded and rushed back out of the room, leaving Micah to indulge in his senses. Yes, Gary was an interesting man with an interesting story to tell, but it wasn’t as if he was going to find that out today. But Micah was allowing himself to slip into daydreams of imagining himself with the lawyer and no, no, _no!_ Micah immediately shook his head free of the thoughts. He couldn’t let himself fall this easy. It wasn’t fair on him to pine for the guy that showed remote interest in him. He sighed, and didn’t notice Gary when he set the coffee beside him. It was only when Gary cleared his throat did Michael notice, and a light blush dusted his cheeks. “Apologies. I got a little lost with thought there.” He smiled and lifted up the mug, taking a sip. He wondered if Gary made this coffee himself, because he was sure this was what angels drank in heaven. He watched Gary take a seat in the opposite armchair and he coughed again. Micah set the mug back down and raised his eyebrow again. “You alright?”

Gary looked over and nodded. “Oh, yeah, just…nervous, I suppose.”

“What? Nervous that you’re gonna catch feelings for your fake boyfriend? I’m flattered.” He grinned a cocky smile, until Gary saying “who says I haven’t already,” caught him by shock. He blinked pretty quickly and looked to the brunette.

“Sorry, did I just hear that correctly?” Michael asked, his smile fading to one of shock.

“You didn’t hear anything.” Gary said, rushed again. Michael liked that about Gary, how he was constantly trying to cover something up with the speed of his own actions. Almost as if he was covering up a murder. Micah chose to keep that thought to himself seeing as he was sat in the same room as a lawyer and he would probably get his ass busted.

“That’s alright, hearing problems have become an issue within my bloodline.” Michael said, covering for the man. “So, tell me about yourself.”

Gary took a sip of his own coffee before he looked back to the floor instead of Micah, his stance revealing his nerves. “My name is Gary Goldstein, my client, Linda Monroe keeps flirting with me, and I am the best lawyer in Hatchetfield’s district. What about you?”

Michael smiled as he began to soften up. “My name is Michael Icacks. I’m the younger brother by twenty years, I haven’t spoken to my family in god knows and I work as a gay barista in the coffee store. Obviously, not as a gay barista, that’s not the job occupation. The occupation is just “barista,” but I’m gay. So…” He heard Gary’s laugh, short and sweet, as they continued to talk, sharing small facts about themselves. It was six oclock by the time Michael had decided on going home. He made sure to message Gary when he got home, which he did. The rest was history.

Gary had been so good to him. He knew Michael’s barrier, he knew how to make Michael feel better, and he knew how to make him smile which was important. He knew his weaknesses and his strengths. If the statement was factually correct, Micah may say that Gary knew Micah than Micah did, but Gary wasn’t Micah, so there would be some things Gary would never know. Like this conversation.

Gary had a way of finding out the truth. Maybe it was the fact that he was a lawyer, but whenever Micah had tried to hide the fact he’d been crying, or hiding a secret, Gary would gaze into his eyes, cup his cheek, and say gently, “dear? Tell me the truth.” But he only did that if it was a really bad day. Most of the time it wasn’t needed because Gary could tell. He was amazing at that. But it made Micah feel like he wasn’t good enough half of the time. He couldn’t help it. It had just been his upbringing.

Maybe that’s why he’d let his hair stick to his face as a sob racked his body. He shut his eyes and tilted his head back so it was leaning against the wall as his tears combined with the water that was falling on to him. He’d been fired, and he knew Gary hadn’t meant to upset him, but he had. Micah didn’t want to bring it up because it wasn’t Gary’s fault, but it stung so hard. A job he’d enjoyed so much had been ripped away. When he was finally stable, with a house, and a family, his job was gone. He always said he hated the job, but in reality, it bought him joy. It allowed him to escape to a different place than reality. Coffee stores were always fun, especially early in the morning. Almost like an alternate dimension. And he’d been fired because he was dating the tall man in the brown blazer who had originally acted as his fake boyfriend.

He wanted to blame Gary. He really did. He wanted to go back in time and slap Gary over the face when he’d even suggested playing along. He wanted to change everything; he wanted to change his connection with his brother, he wanted to change every decision he’d ever made if it meant he’d never cross paths with Gary again.

But he didn’t want that.

He let himself curl up, ignoring the beads of water that were falling down his face. He let himself get lost before he heard a soft trio of taps at the door. “Micah? You’ve been in there a little while. Is everything alright?”

“Yes!” He called instantly, not bothering to move from the floor. “I’ll be out in a second-“

“Have you been crying?”

Micah froze. He forgot his voice went slightly nasally, and it wasn’t very easy to disguise. “No?” He called back. He expected a sigh of disappointment to follow, but it never came. Instead, he heard the smile in his boyfriend’s voice when he said, “I’ll be right back!” A scurry of footsteps lead away from the door and Micah sighed himself. When Gary came back, he opened the door. It wasn’t as if Michael hadn’t closed the shower curtain behind him.

“You’re still in here? Okay good.” Gary said and set something down.

“Babe, I’m naked.” Micah said, a smile threatening to spill.

“Come on, dear. It’s not the first time I’ve seen you like this. Can I draw back the curtain?” He asked softly, and Michael saw the faint silhouette of his partner’s hand above the material. Michael chewed on his lip and stood up, switching off the shower. He grabbed the towel he’d left on the edge of the sink and wrapped it round himself before he pulled the curtain back, only to be lifted up by Gary immediately.

“Gary!” Michael hissed. “Gary what are you doing?”

“Look at me.” He said gently and moved Michael’s hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear. He set Michael down on the floor. “I understand I upset you when I mentioned finances. I didn’t mean to do that, okay? I feel really bad about it.”

“Well, don’t be.” He said and looked up, his eyes still clouded over with tears. “I will admit, it did hurt, but it’s…inevitable, for us.” Michael said, watching a smile of relief appear on his boyfriend’s face. Gary wrapped an arm around Michael and pulled him close. “I accept your apology.”

“Thank you. Now how about you change, we eat cake and we fall asleep on the couch watching a movie?”

“That sounds good.” Micah said, and smiled properly for the first time that day.

* * *

On the other side of the town, John McNamara threw open the door and slammed his keys down on the coffee table. “Xander!” He huffed, walking into the living room, only to be met with Nick sitting on the couch.

“Who’s Xander?” He asked, gently. John took a long breath and looked at him before he spoke.

“Give me a moment.” He said and walked through their house, his and _Nick’s_ house, and to the backyard. He pushed open the glass door and screamed. He simply just screamed. He wanted Xander and he wasn’t there. He’d never be there. This was 2007, and they didn’t meet properly until…five years. And they didn’t start dating until 2018, but they had to keep to the timeline. If they fucked anything up, it would just please Cross, and it wasn’t what anyone wanted. For his and Xander’s sake, he’d keep up this act. He felt a hand on his shoulder and a kiss on his hair when Nick came out.

“Was it a bad day, Johnny?”

John could have thrown up at the nickname, but hid his grimace. “It was terrible.” He said and shrugged Nick’s hand off of him. “Sorry about that. This new information about alternate realities has me _fucked_.”

“Hey.” Nick laughed and spun John to face him. “I’m not mad.”

_If only you hadn’t been mad in Dimension 1, then maybe we’d still be married-_

“Well, that’s a first.” John mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing!” John walked back inside and hopped up on the kitchen counter as he turned on the coffee machine. Nick followed him in, of course, and stood in front of him. He gently took John’s hand, and John didn’t pull away.

“How did the talk with Icacks go?”

“As well as you’d imagine.” John said and leaned forward, his forehead pressed against Nick’s chest. “I’m gonna order take-out today.”

“Really? I thought it was date night?” He furrowed his eyes.

“Babe, I know. But I’m super tired. So can we skip the going out part and go straight to the fucking later on?” He pulled away and looked up at his ex- his _husband,_ who was smiling.

“There’s the John I know and love.” He said and kissed John’s hair. “I’ll order take out, you go lie upstairs and look like the god that you are, I’ll fuck you senseless, we’ll eat pizza in bed, and we go for round two?”

“Sounds amazing.” John said. “But I will need a cigarette beforehand.”

“That’s alright.” Nick smiled gently. “Now go get yourself relaxed. I’ll be up in ten.”

John nodded and kissed Nick’s cheek as he walked upstairs. He didn’t like this at all. He lit a cigarette and lay on the bed and considered his options. He came to the final conclusion. They weren’t together in 2007, so if John broke up with Xander, it would alter the timeline, but John being here with a different wedding ring on than the one that Nick had gifted him was a major change. They’d be okay…right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> say it with me FUCK ANYONE WHO HURTS JOHN MCNAMARA (happy may the fourth fuckers i watched rise of skywalker for the first time and forgot how gay poe dameron and finn were)


	3. Swallow My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Nick have sex (mentioned), John says a stupid thing, John and Nick nearly have sex and then Xander gets his heart broken. Micah's instincts prove everyone right in the end, but he doesn't know that yet and mr gary goldstein gets involved with a mrs linda monroe, and yes in that way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy monthly chapter, see you in july
> 
> TWs: mentions of suicide and assault

John took time to calm down that night, leaning against Nick’s shoulder. Then he remembered their plan. Date night. Date night meant food and fucking, it’s what he’d said and Nick had agreed. They’d skipped the food…he swallowed his spit and looked at Nick. Nick looked at him and smiled gently. “You’re much calmer, Johnny.” He said and kissed his forehead. John shook his head. Forehead kisses were _Xander’s thing…Xander…_ John shook his head again and looked to Nick.

“Get on top. Now.” He said as he kissed Nick properly, moving himself to pull Nick on him. He felt Nick smiling, holding him gently. He slid his hands up John’s shirt, quick to remove it from his body. John whined in protest and Nick shook his head.

“No, John. You relax. Let me do the work.” Nick said and kissed him more softly than before, undressing the two of them. Nick took in the sight of his husband and noticed how nervous he seemed. “What’s wrong?” He asked and John shook his head. “John, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, I’d never force you to do that.”

John swallowed again. “Trust me, it’s just some new information Icacks gave me. It isn’t a big deal.”

“You want to do this?” Nick asked, now unsure. John looked up and nodded.

“Of course I do.” He said, his voice much quieter. After another few minutes of talking, of John convincing Nick he wanted it, the covers went over them and Nick began to….you can only imagine.

Xander didn’t cross John’s mind once.

John woke up the next morning, naked, and in Nick’s arms. John was lying on his right arm, staring at the wall. This was his house. This was the bed he’d wake up with his husband, his new husband in, in thirteen years time. On the 28th September 2020, they were supposed to wake up as newly weds. They’d been through so much, and they couldn’t even have that…

Yet Xander had put him through too much.

The suicide attempt before their wedding, literal hours before. Xander kissing Wilbur back, Xander not going to get therapy when he forced John to get his, Xander never wanting it, Xander being body-conscious, Xander, Xander, Xander, everything revolved around _Xander…_

John was angry. Angry at Xander. He’d been lead on, he’d been too scared to tell John’s daughter they were dating, scared to tell John about the assault with the knowledge of what John had gone through, attempting to pull the pin on a hydrogen bomb which should only be used in extreme scenarios. John had given everything up for him, and what did Xander give up? Nothing. Because Xander was a liar and a coward. And Xander was _not_ Nick.

Nick was everything. Strong, handsome, gentle. He always had been. Everything Nick had done to John had been because John deserved it. All the scars John had ever been given because of Nick, it wasn’t Nick’s fault, it was John’s. Nick was the powerful one. Whatever Nick said went. John wasn’t going to compete with that either.

He sighed and looked over his shoulder at his dark haired husband who slowly stirred awake. He watched the dark green eyes of his beloved open into small slits. He smiled. “Good morning, John.” Nick said and kissed his cheek. John couldn’t resist the smile that was forming.

“Good morning, Nicky.”

“Did you sleep well?”

John thought for a little while. _Did_ he sleep well? First of all, there wasn’t any Xander to crush him while he slept, he had some duvet on him for once instead of Xander smuggling it all, and he felt safe. He hadn’t had to watch over Nick like a hawk because Nick was mentally stable. John smiled wider.

“Better than I have in a long while.” He admitted. He rolled over in Nick’s arms and buried into his chest.

“We can’t cuddle for long, alright? Right now, we need to change and get ready for work. Even though I enjoy seeing you in the nude, I don’t think General Icacks will.”

John chuckled. Nick was right. Nick was _always_ right. “Yeah…I’ll see you at work, okay? I’ve gotta go give a ring to someone.”

“Oooh! Who’s getting married!” Nick said, sitting upright, the covers falling off of him, revealing his bare chest.

“Quite the opposite, dear, I’m breaking up with someone for someone else. Wait, hold on, I’m breaking a couple up because one member of the couple is too coward to do it themselves.”

“Ah, well, good luck, darling.” Nick said and kissed John’s hair as John got out of bed. “And don’t forget, I love you.”

John paused. It had been so long since he’d heard those words from Nick where they truly meant something. He’d spent months longing to hear those words with the true intention behind them where they came from the original source of his first love. The first love who wasn’t Xander. Was it bad he’d already fallen back head over heels for Nick? Maybe not. John looked up at him and spoke again.

“I love you too.”

At PEIP, John had to be cautious. He had a feeling Icacks knew he wasn’t John from 2007, but John from 2020. He had that feeling, and it wouldn’t ease up. He had to be careful as to not run into him or to Xander. Xander shouldn’t be at work. Privates worked less hours. Xander was a Private. Xander wouldn’t be in for….if John quick walked, he’d be fine. He strode down the corridors, slipping his wedding ring- no! It wasn’t his wedding ring. It wasn’t the ring Nick had placed on his finger, he didn’t want it. He slipped it off and walked directly to the lab, punching in the code. Schaffer was also nowhere in sight. This was working out. It always worked out.

He grabbed a slip of lined paper and wrote a simple three sentences on it.

  1. We’re over
  2. Don’t contact me again
  3. I’m not sorry – John.



He put the metal ring on top of it, setting the note in clear view as he left and walked back to his office, only to see his husband standing at the door, a sign written backwards that he could just read through the glass. _My office, twenty minutes, break time._ John gave a thumbs up and flashed a smile, Nick doing the same as he ran off. Things were working out.

John let the twenty minutes ease with peace. Once his timer sounded on his watch, he stood up and walked to Nick’s office, knocking on the door. Nick opened it and pulled him in, gently pinning him to the door. He kissed John gently, John kissing back, holding Nick’s shoulders. “Hello, Nicky.” John mumbled against Nick’s lips.

“Hello, Johnny.” Nick purred, moving to deepen the kiss. “I got a little…desperate. I can’t stop thinking of you. The security cameras are off, and the desk is cleared.”

“You treat me so well.” John smiled, ignoring the part of him telling him he was breaking the rules.

“I try to. If anyone else was married to you, I don’t understand why they wouldn’t treat you like a king. You’re _my_ gorgeous man.”

“And you’re mine.” John smiled against Nick’s lips, pulling his hands off of him and unbuttoning his own shirt. Nick lifted an eyebrow and looked at him, picking him up and sitting him on the desk. “Bastard.” John laughed.

“If you’re going to call me a bastard, make sure to put ‘horny’ in front of it.” Nick said and removed the rest of their clothes, throwing them in a pile. Nick held John close to him, kissing him passionately when the door opened. The two froze as the voice spoke.

“Brigadier, I have the updated reports on-“ Xander spoke before he looked up to see the situation the two were in, his heart shattering. He took a breath and bit his lip, slamming the files down on the chair beside the door before he left, closing the door in a forceful manner. He kept his head down and kept blinking away the tears. John was always too good for him, and he’d promised _yesterday_ that wouldn’t happen. He knew he wasn’t good enough in bed. He tried to be, and it almost felt like it wasn’t the same as if it were to be with Nick. John had promised they’d stay together, that they’d remain together…so why had he agreed to sex with Nick so fast?

He didn’t know. He walked straight back to his lab and sat in his chair, placing his head in his hands and letting the tears fall. He placed one hand on where the keyboard should be, to at least continue with his work. Instead, he felt paper. Xander removed his hands from his eyes and looked to see the note. It was so stubborn, so out of character for John….he took John’s wedding ring. They’d finally gotten married, his years of pining had ended….and it was over. He couldn’t stop crying, he was weak, maybe he should…give up.

* * *

Micah stirred awake to see Gary already up. He stretched as he sat up. “I’m the one supposed to be in a hurry.” He said, rubbing the corner of his eye with his thumb. Gary turned around.

“Dear, I’m meeting up with Linda Monroe today!” He said and sat on the bed beside him. “We can move to the nicer parts of Hatchetfield after today. We can think of adoption, us taking the next steps in our relationship, finding you a job-“

“Gee, I just woke up, let’s not talk about work right now…” Micah grumbled and threw back the covers. Michael Icacks did _not_ like staying in bed. He had to be up and on the move. He liked the outdoors and got restless if he stayed inside for too long. That was in the mornings and afternoons. He’d only be caught out in the early hours of the morning and the evenings if he was on a date, or heavily drunk. Otherwise, he’d be coiled up beside Gary in bed or on the couch. That was how he liked to spend his evenings.

But now was not the evening. Now was the morning. He walked over to their shared closet and threw open the doors, one of them hitting the wall. Micah looked at it, blinking momentarily before he shrugged. “Whoops,” he said, pulling out his outfit, a brown sweater and dark jeans which he’d wear with his dark brown trenchcoat. Gary had decided, spontaneously, last night, after they’d eaten their cake, that the beige one was going through the wash, leaving Micah to settle for second best. The black trenchcoat was for funeral use only, the white one was used for weddings because it wasn’t actually white, more cream, but it was easier to call it white, and the navy one…that was for Gary’s entertainment.

He changed as Gary got to adding the additional accessories to his outfit, Micah not bothering with his hair. He turned round to Gary once he got changed and walked back over, kissing his hair. “I can’t wait to be settled in our nice new neighbourhood away from my asshole _brother_ and his stupid asshole _teammates_ in his perfect stupid asshole _precinct_ and his fucking perfect stupid asshole _job where he is the General and-“_

“We’ll be better than him.” Gary assured, kissing his hair. “Now, I’ve gotta go. I’ll be home at 3.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” Gary said and waved goodbye to Micah, leaving the room. Micah watched him leave and sighed.

“I love you…” Micah said quietly, wrapping the coat around him more. The only reason he wore the coats were so it felt like Gary was holding him tightly in his arms when Gary wasn’t there. That was the only reason. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was going to go wrong.

* * *

Gary arrived at the office shortly afterwards, seeing as his house wasn’t too far from his job. He walked in and sat down to see Linda Monroe already there, her platinum blonde hair straightened and cut back to her shoulders. She wore some expensive boots from some high-end designer he didn’t recognise and a plum purple…trenchcoat. Gary blinked and sat down. “So, Mrs Monroe, what may I do for you today?” He asked, typing on his computer. This caused Linda to drape herself dramatically across the chair.

“Oh, goodness, Gary. I would like to sue the coffee store, Beanies, it is? They spat in my coffee!”

“Linda, we’ve been over this, I’m unable to do that without physical evidence! I already spoke with Nora, Elissa and Lou, and none of their DNA was found proven in the coffee cup you bought that day.” He said and rubbed his temples as he entered more data into his computer. He heard Linda huff as she stood up and walked over to the door.

“Well, I must admit. I’m a very lonely woman lately. _Gerald_ is always away, my children are far too young to come with me anywhere without making a fuss so I leave them with the nanny at home, but you can change that.” She turned Gary’s chair round to face her as she walked behind the desk. Gary sighed.

“Mrs Monroe, you should bring this up with your therap-“ but she undid the belt on her coat and let it drop to the floor. He looked at her, frozen, heat beginning to fill his body.

“I know you want this. I’m all yours.” She whispered, climbing on to his laptop and pulling him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is john acting out of character? yes. do i know why? of course I do, I created the fucking plan before this damn chapter. Did I write this for my wonderful eli's birthday, yes i did. am i going to make you wait another month for another chapter? we'll see.


	4. Just Stop Your Crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander has a mental breakdown in his office, Schaffer consoles him, John then appears, Schaffer drops some very bad news on Micah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somewhere in an alternate universe it is July and I didn't just post two days in a row nope didn't happen.   
> Anyways, the only TW i can think of is a mention of a car crash, but I can't think of anythign else except comas???

Xander broke down harder and harder. He couldn’t breathe. They’d made a _promise._ There’d been a _promise._ So why had his promise been broken? He was knocked severely. Had he not been good enough? Had he been trying too hard? Had he kept John to himself? Why? He wasn’t angry, but he was definitely upset. John hadn’t loved him, had he? All the nights they’d spent together, the fear they’d get found out by Elle and having to distance themselves at the start of their relationship, was that the reason? John hadn’t wanted to go quick. John wanted to wait.

When John went in that portal in Black Friday, it was the worst feeling Xander had ever had to experience. Heartbreak, dread and fury all at once. The idea that John wouldn’t be home anymore to help him through his anxieties, there wouldn’t be a dad to care for Elle, there wouldn’t _be_ a General to run the place, so the title would get passed down to Xander. Lieutenant Lee becomes the General. Xander would say he wouldn’t be able to do it and pass the title to Schaffer, who would most definitely run the precinct better than he’d ever be able to.

And he’d have to go through all of that while mourning.

When John came out the portal, it was the best feeling he’d ever felt. He was injured, yes, but he was _alive._ His heart was beating, blood was pumping through his body, and his chest rose and fall with hope. He’d collapsed on the floor and Xander was by his side within minutes.

Xander had loved John; it was a shame it was one-sided.

When they’d become engaged, it was another amazing feeling he’d experienced. Everything would have gone perfectly. They’d have had the best wedding, they’d have had the best life they could offer for each other. It wasn’t fair that what happened came into the timeline. It shouldn’t have.

Now they were back in 2007, Xander’s heart crushed into pieces, and he was alone. He’d have to go back to his decaying apartment he lived in at the time, a couple of blocks away from his parents. He told them everything, but he couldn’t say this. This mission _he_ had to keep a secret. John obviously wasn’t caring about messing up the timeline anymore. They’d been sent back _thirteen years_ , a few months after Wilbur went missing, a couple of weeks after Xander had started at PEIP so why the _hell_ was John not bothering?

It was unlike him. He always had a plan, and he always stuck to it. It couldn’t be him, but maybe it was. He’d delve deeper into the subject, but he couldn’t focus. He was clutching the ring of his ex-husband in his hand, the day after they’d gotten married…sort of, and he wasn’t dealing well. He didn’t realise how loud he was sobbing until he heard the door open and Schaffer rush in. Xander slipped the ring in his pocket and folded up the note, laughing to cover his crying up. She looked at him.

“You’re pretty much traumatised, Xander…how bad was that mission Icacks sent you on?” She asked, moving the chair behind the desk. “God, Xander, come here…”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m fine.” He said and wiped his tears, moving to stand up, only to be dragged back down by Schaffer and pulled into a hug.

“You aren’t fine, you don’t need to lie to me. I’m here for you, but you need to tell me what happened in case the General needs to put something in place.”

“No, no, sorry I just-I just went through a pretty bad breakup this morning….” He admitted, leaning into her touch, clenching his jaw to stop himself sobbing. He felt Schaffer’s sigh on the back of his neck as she held him closer to her.

“Men aren’t shit, Xander, and they certainly aren’t worth your tears.”

“No, no, you don’t get it…he was special, he was the one for _me_ and…he got up and left for his ex.”

“Did he cheat on you?”

“Kinda, yeah….we said we were going on a break to distance ourselves and…”

“He pulls this shit?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, listen.” She pulled away and held his shoulders. “You’ll find someone better, more fitted for you. It may not be today, or tomorrow, or until next year, but he’ll be waiting for you. He’ll treat you like gold.”

“I don’t deserve that.”

“Yes, Xander, you do.” She said. “I’m asexual, so I’ll never fully understand the pain you are going through, but I’ve been broken when my mentors have given up on me because they gained feelings for me, I admitted my sexuality, and they died on the field a couple days later.” She said before she blinked. “Sorry, that was very specific and I overshared again, but I promise, everything _will_ work out.” Xander looked up to her, only for his eyes to be drawn to the door when there was a knock. It opened, and John stepped in. Xander immediately looked away.

“Schaffer, Brigadier Johnson wants you in his office.”

“Right away, sir.” Schaffer said, smiling at Xander before she left, closing the door behind her. There was an awful silence between the two until Xander spoke up.

“Get out.”

“Let me explain myself.”

“You promised we’d be fine and that we’d get through this! Get out!”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“John, for fucks sake, this may as well be considered a divorce!”

“Well, if I didn’t break up with you, I’d never be partnered with the love of my life again and I’d be cheating on him, wouldn’t I?!” John spat and looked at Xander.

“I’m supposed to be the love of your life!”

“News flash, Xander! You’re not! You are nothing more than _scum_ to PEIP, and as soon as I’m the General, _you’ll_ be the first one fired. And if you resist, I’m legally required to carry a gun. You aren’t.”

Xander’s breath hitched as he looked at him. He wasn’t considering anything else anymore. He wanted to kill Xander. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“You walked in on me and my husband about to have sex.”

“ _I’m_ your husband!”

“You wish you were.” John looked at him. “You wish you were my husband, or even worthy of owning that title, but you aren’t. You aren’t attractive, you aren’t smart, and you _don’t_ deserve your place-“

Schaffer burst back through the doors and looked at the two. “Guys…Icacks’ _dead._ ” 

* * *

“Three o’clock. He’ll be home.” Micah said, watching the clock on the wall. It was getting closer to the hour, and Gary wasn’t home. It hit 3 o’clock and Micah winced until he heard the door open and a jingle of keys. He looked to the door and saw Gary walking in. “Hi Micah! I’m back!” He hummed as he walked into the main room. That familiar feeling of a lack of trust settled back in Micah’s gut as he looked at Gary.

“You were almost _late,_ Gary.”

“Yes, yes, I know, but there was traffic on the way home!”

“We live five minutes away from your office.” That seemed to trip Gary up on his words until he shook himself off.

“No, dear, there was a car crash down Park Road.” He said and went to kiss Micah’s cheek, but Micah spotted something.

“There’s a bruise on your shoulder, are you aware?” Micah asked, dodging the kiss, causing Gary to stumble forward. Micah crossed his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response.

Gary collected himself, pushing his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. He turned around. He laughed, but it didn’t appear to be genuine. “I just got pushed into my door at work while I was trying to leave!”

“And it left a bruise _that_ dark, Gary?” Micah asked. “I’m not buying it.”

“But Micah, I’m being _honest_ with you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m being paranoid again, so, I’m choosing to ignore you.” He sighed as the phone rang. He rolled his eyes and picked it up. “Good afternoon, Michael Icacks speaking to you, who the fuck are you-“

“ _Hi, Michael, it’s Sargaent Schaffer from PEIP here.”_

“Ah. You’re ringing to tell me something about my brother, aren’t you.”

“ _Yes, actually. There isn’t an easy way to say this so I’ll say it as it comes. Your brother has a high possibility that he died in a mission he was sent out on.”_

 _“What?!”_ Micah exclaimed, his eyes widening, tensing up. “What do you mean _could have_?! It’s either he’s being a dramatic bitch or making it up!”

“ _Sir, he got severely injured on a mission he sent himself out on. The doctors say he’s currently in a coma and on life support. That’s all we know for now. It can’t be determined at this time whether he’ll wake up or not.”_

Micah fell silent for a little while, tears suddenly in his eyes. He couldn’t determine how long they’d been there, but his eyes were burning, and the taste of salt filled his senses. “So, he could really die? And never come back?”

“ _Unfortunately, that looks like the case as of now.”_

Shit. Micah ran a hand through his hair. “So, what’s going to happen with the precinct? Who’s in charge?” He asked, quietly, his voice wavering slightly.

_“The General position has been handed down to the next best person we can offer. His name is John McNamara, he is 22 years of age and he is capable for the rank. He was trained by Colonel Wilbur Cross and was taken under Icacks’ wing and given further training for the event this could happen.”_

“And he’ll keep my brother’s business in order?” Michael asked, wiping his eyes.

_“We have no other choice but to let John run the precinct for now. We need to put our faith in him.”_

“Shit…okay.” Michael said, allowing the information to process. His brother could actually _die._ Yes, Micah had “wished it” upon Gareth many a time, but he’d never actually meant it. Gareth was still his older brother, whether he wanted it to be that way or not, so for this news to drop on him like that…it wasn’t okay.

“ _I must be going now, sir, but if anything happens to your older brother, I won’t hesitate to inform you.”_

“Thank you, Saergeant, I appreciate it.” He said before he hung up. He could feel Gary looking at him.

“Who was that on the phone?”

“It doesn’t matter to you.”

“You’re crying-“

“I _said_ , Gary, that it doesn’t fucking matter!” He hissed and looked up to him. “You can tell I’m paranoid, you can tell I’m upset, so don’t expect to get me to talk about it! I’ve just found out that there’s a potential my older brother could die, and you nearly came home late and _I’m going to bed!”_

“It’s 3 in the afternoon-“

“I’m aware, Gary!” He shouted as he walked past him, heading directly upstairs.

What the _fuck_ was he going to do if his brother died? Who would he turn to for advice, because it certainly wouldn’t be his parents. He’d be alone. There wasn’t any hope anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you see, it's ironic because the title of the chapter is from Sign Of The Times and everyone pretty much cries. Anyways, happy July, and happy birtdhay @sunlightandstorms


	5. Not Who We Used To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah and Gary fight, Schaffer and Xander come to a very important realisation

He threw the trench coat to the floor. It didn’t matter to him anymore. Nothing mattered. Not anymore. He sat on the bed to remove his pants, thinking, thinking of the call he was supposed to receive. Gareth was supposed to ring him, _not_ one of his agents. After everything Gareth had put him through, he still couldn’t find himself to hate his brother to the extent that he never wanted him in his life again. Micah Icacks was _not_ that person. He knew things, he’d seen things and he’d experienced things. He was a better person, or so he hoped.

He threw his pants to the floor, running a hand through his hair, his other hand reaching for his pyjama pants. He’d been raised in a homophobic environment and forced into the shadows, with his brother in the foreground constantly. When Gareth founded PEIP, he was praised, but it was around the same time Micah started talking full sentences. Micah had been a slow developer, which was ironic seeing as he was always hurrying now. When Gareth met Jennifer, his wife-to-be, he was praised, yet Micah hadn’t gotten the attention when he started school. It was like this for a while, and Micah had only longed for that sense of recognition within his family, yet he never got it. It was even worse when he realised he wasn’t attracted to girls. He knew his family’s beliefs, he knew the consequences, so he hid away. Even through all of this, Micah couldn’t hate his older brother even if his older brother hated him. Everyone hated him. Everyone except…Gary.

He threw his shirt to the floor, tears resurfacing in his eyes. Gary. Gary was his rock, and he was pushing Gary away. Gary Goldstein, the hot lawyer who Micah served, his boyfriend who wanted a family with _him_ was the only person in his life anymore. He wasn’t close with his brother’s agents, and they weren’t close with him. He wasn’t allowed at PEIP, in fact, he wasn’t welcome there. He wanted to be welcome, he wanted to fit in, and it was pure luck he fit in Gary’s arms as well as he did. Gary was the reason he continued, Gary was the reason he woke up, yet he was sure Gary was hiding something from him.

He pulled his shirt on, a tear falling down his face, his entire body beginning to burn with rage and sadness. The bruise on Gary’s shoulder appeared nothing like a bruise received from hitting the doorframe. His messy hair along with his tie askew was something out of character for him. His mind went to the worst place possible, and a question flashed across quickly. _Was Gary cheating on him?_

It was too late. Once he’d thought the question, he couldn’t take it back. His paranoia kicked in a lot more as he thought about everything. Was it because of his personality? His appearance? His constant need for attention due to his upbringing? His emotional state? Was it because, with Gary bringing up marriage and kids a lot more frequently lately, he’d said he wasn’t ready for that? Was it that?

He didn’t hold back. He kicked his clothes away from him and broke down in tears, sobbing harshly into his hands. He was truly alone in that moment. He was anxious, he was furious, he was questioning a lot. Everything seemed to slide into place and _he_ seemed to be the problem that started the domino effect. He wanted everything to go back to normal. He needed normal, yet would there ever be that again?

When the door creaked open, he stopped sobbing but remained sitting on the edge of the bed. He felt the weight of Gary sitting down beside him, an arm around him. He felt Gary pull him closer, and usually Micah would lean into him, but things were different. “You think you can talk to me?” Gary asked, his intentions to be gentle, but it was enough for Micah to push Gary’s arm off of him with so much force it left Gary in pain.

“I told you I _want_ to be alone,” he said, attempting to mask his voice with anger and subsequently failing.

“You never told me that,” Gary said, rubbing his arm, forgetting about his boyfriend’s strength.

“It doesn’t really take a genius to put two and two together for you to realise that I am clearly upset and would want to be alone!”

“But you’re crying…” The taller man said, trying to push through, and Micah laughed, he _laughed_ out of spite.

“Yes, Gary, I am fully aware I have tears coming out of my eyes for the third time this week.” He said, his lip curling into a snarl. “My brother could be dead-“

“You don’t like your brother-“

“No, Gary! Do you ever listen to a thing I say?!” He asked and pulled his hands away, his hair hiding his face from his boyfriend. “I can _never_ hate my brother, nor can I dislike him, yet for some reason he hates me! The only aspect he appreciates and accepts about me is my sexuality! Yet, you seem to think, seeing as every time I bring him up, it’s to vent about something else he’s done, that I hate him!”

“Well-“

“Well, what?!” Micah said and spun around to face him. Tears had stained his semi-tanned skin, his hair matted and sticking to fading tear tracks, his pupils small and his eyes wide, his eyebrows low and his teeth bare in a snarl. He watched Gary swallow and push his glasses back on to the bridge of his nose.

“It just _appeared_ you hated him, I never specified that you did-“

“You say it all the time! And every time I correct you, every time I tell you I don’t hate him so _why aren’t you getting the idea?!”_ He wasn’t crying out of sadness or pain anymore. Anger. He was crying out of anger that he’d kept stored away.

“Because, goddamit, Micah, you talk shit about him so much, you may as well!”

“I don’t talk shit about him, Gary, I vent to _you_ , my boyfriend, someone who is supposed to listen to me, and care for me, and I’m not saying to take my side but of course that is what I’m saying, but you don’t care because you’re so stuck up that you can’t even focus on the fact the years of neglect I experienced since I was a fucking _baby_ are catching up to me, I’m growing a conscious against it, and I’m becoming a good person!”

“Well, Micah, you aren’t a good person in no shape or form! If anything, _you’re_ an asshole to me, to coworkers, to your family, so maybe it is your fault you’re in this position!” Gary said, shutting his eyes tightly. The words hit Micah harder than he’d expected. It was a confession, and not a holy one. If Micah was the reason behind the problem, then he’d go.

“What did you just say?” He asked, his voice cracking, all traces of anger having dissolved from his face. Gary swallowed again and opened his eyes.

“I said-“

“Is it the truth?” Micah’s voice began to soften, muting itself in a cruel act to please him, to keep Gary around. He wouldn’t be able to continue if Gary wasn’t there with him. He wouldn’t have a home, job, or finances. What was he supposed to do if this was their end? He waited for a response, and it did come a few moments later, and the words stung like salt to an open wound.

“In some sort of way…I guess it is…” Micah swallowed then, his breathing beginning to shake. He couldn’t let Gary see him cry. “You need to think of what you tell people because, dear, karma does exist-“

“Don’t bring your philosophical bullshit into this, Goldstein! I don’t care! I don’t care at all, yet I was a fool to think you cared for me!”

“I do!”

“You clearly don’t! What you just told me was so _brutal_ that I-“

“Michael, for goodness sake, _someone_ had to tell you because we were all getting sick of it!”

The mention of his name, not his nickname, his actual _name_ tipped him over the edge. He walked over to the closet, throwing the doors open and pulling out his suitcase. He unzipped it and Gary stood up.

“And where are you gonna go?!”

“I’ll find somewhere, don’t you worry! You clearly don’t want me around! You clearly want me to get help or some shit like that which you _know_ I can’t afford, yet you enjoy talking to me about the income you gain every week, every damn _day!_ Yet when I’m struggling with my emotions, I’m forced to lock them up!” He threw the little clothes he owned in the case and zipped it back up. He lifted it up, ignoring the fact he was in his pyjamas, and headed for the door.

“I never do that!” Gary said, walking after him.

“Yes, you do! And _I’m_ the bad guy!” Micah shouted, the argument getting more heated.

“I care for you! I need you to know the truth so that you can get better and-“

“So this is for your own benefit and not mine!” He laughed, astounded. “Well, I am sorry that I’ve been through this, no, I won’t explain, I’ve done that enough lately. You know the story, you’ve heard it, I won’t repeat myself.” He dragged his case downstairs and through the halls until he was at his front door. “I’m going for a drive. And I’ll be staying at a hotel overnight.”

“You don’t have the money-“ Gary said quickly, but Micah had already slammed the door shut. He was gone as quick as the fight had started. Gary found himself blinking, and his mind drifted to one person. He lifted his phone, the guilt he’d experienced previously not as strong, and he hit ring.

“Linda? Are you free?”

* * *

“So that’s it.” Schaffer sighed, placing the phone down. “He knows the news, I’m not entirely sure he took it too well, but he’s aware of our General’s situation. But while our superior is gone, we need someone to run the precinct.”

Everyone else in the conference room turned towards John, who was sat at the top. It was no secret that John McNamara would be the General after the passing of Wilbur Cross. Of course. everyone had expected for Wilbur’s death to be less brutal, but when it happened, they forgot about it soon after. They didn’t, however, forget about the younger recruit, the one with the golden hair. Xander swallowed, not turning his eyes to focus on his husband- _ex_ husband, and waited for an answer. John shrugged.

“Sergeant Schaffer, I would be _honoured_ to fill General Icacks’ role while he is comatose.”

Everyone clapped, but Xander began to shake. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. They couldn’t put john in charge, not now. It was all wrong. John would make the worst decisions, the time line wasn’t supposed to go like this, _the timeline wasn’t supposed to go like this!_ Yet nobody seemed to care except him. John had fucked everything up, and now Xander was never getting home. Xander was alone, and it hurt.

“Private Lee?” John’s voice said, quite with undertones of danger to follow, from the table. Xander snapped out of his frightened trance and looked at his superior. “I suggest, if you want to _keep_ your job, that you proceed to pay attention at briefings.” He said and grinned. He watched Brigadier McNamara place his hand on his husband’s shoulder.

“John, it’s his third week with PEIP, he also has diagnosed anxiety. Please be gentle with him.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I mustn’t have known.” He said the last part slower as he turned back to face Xander. None of the other agents seemed to notice anything up. Nobody cared, nobody cared, nobody _wanted_ to care.

The briefing ended and Xander went back to where he was stationed, which was the medical bay. He’d be keeping guard of Icacks while maintaining his work. He was adjusting to being back inside his younger body, which meant he wasn’t as tired and didn’t rely on coffee. He used to limit himself to three cups per _day_ back then, meaning he couldn’t have any more in this timeline either. John may be trying to raise suspicion, but Xander wasn’t.

After a little while, Xander heard a knock at the door. He hummed and the person walked in. “Private, take a seat.” Schaffer said. Xander looked up and nodded, obeying as he sat at his desk, a little away from Icacks on the other side of the room.

“What can I do for you, Sergeant?” He asked, unsure of what she wanted.

Schaffer sighed softly and put two sheets of paper down on the desk. “The date, August 27th 2007. That was John’s handwriting on a completed report.” Xander lifted the piece of paper and allowed himself to examine it as he scanned his eyes over the handwriting. He could confirm that was John’s handwriting, he’d seen it enough in birthday cards and other significant pieces of memorabilia he kept in 2020. She put another piece of paper down. “September 28th 2007\. John’s supposed handwriting.” Xander lifted the piece of paper up and noticed a definite difference between the two. Then she added a third piece. “Wilbur Cross’ last known report, April 3rd 2006.” She said, allowing Xander to lift it as well, comparing it to the three. Ironically, _Wilbur’s_ handwriting paired up with the report John had filed today….

What the _fuck?_

“That’s…” Xander said and put his head in his hands, forgetting how short he used to keep his hair.

“That’s Wilbur’s handwriting. But how?”

“How did you find this? As far as PEIP are concerned, Wilbur’s reports were incinerated?” He asked, and Schaffer nodded.

“They were in Icacks’ office. Icacks knows things we don’t. He’s a smart man….and so is my mentor, Colonel Alex Hill. She found the paper when she was clearing out Icacks’ office so his wife could come and collect his things.” Schaffer took the papers back, stunning Xander slightly, and they both made eye contact. “I don’t think that man is John, Private. I believe we are dealing with an imposter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ᵀᵒʷⁿᵉˢ, ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ˢʷᶦᵐ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈʳᵒʷⁿ
> 
> ANYWAY my writing style is changing ever so slightly and honestly? We stan that character development.


	6. Cause I'm Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schaffer and Alex come to a good decision,,, and Micah and Gary,,,, have a fatal falling out involving a certain Ms Monroe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: micah literally goes insane and smashes a lot of plates, the affair is featured, but nothign SMUTTY and uh yeah, mention of xander's s****de attempt as well, but that's probably going to be mentioned throughtout the book as well

“How is that possible?” Xander asked, clearly stunned by the realisation. “He’s supposed to be dead.”

“As I’m aware.” Schaffer said, hitting the papers on the desk to level them out. “I believe that there is something else going on. I will discuss the latter with my mentor and get back to you.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Oh, and Private?” Xander hummed and looked up to her. “You’re doing good.” Schaffer walked out of the medical room, sighing softly as she walked back to her office, to see her mentor already awaiting her presence.

“Felicity,” the Colonel said, moving her dark braid back on to her shoulder, moving her head seat more on to the middle of her head. Schaffer couldn’t help but smile.

“Alex.” She said and sat down, facing the other agent, who took a seat as well. Alex Hill was a very skilled woman, and having worked alongside Wilbur, and causing Icacks a lot of grief between the two’s rivalry, she was perfect for this task. She had pale skin and a blush that never faded, a small upturned nose and brilliant wide, blue eyes. She kept her long hair in a firm braid that never seemed to slip. She was amazing, and Schaffer would be nowhere near as good as she wanted to be without her.

“What did you find out, well, what did the Private say? Did he reveal any information you thought he would?”

“Ma’am, he was only confused.” She said and slid the papers back over to Alex, who took them willingly. “I don’t understand. How can Wilbur Cross, a man who’s been presumed missing in The Black and White for the past 12 months, suddenly overtake the young body of John McNamara, his own mentee?”

“It’s called desire, dear.” Alex said, a clear sense of truth and politeness in the mix as she stood up and walked over to the shelf, pulling out a binder and opening it. “Wilbur, goodness,” she cut herself off with her own laugh, which was subtle and short, “he was competitive. He wouldn’t be the first to lose, so he threw himself into danger believing he achieved everything by achieving nothing. It’s why he went into The Black and White to begin with. When Icacks called for volunteers, he was the first one to raise his hand. He went without a suit, and I’ve been with one. I flipped him off and he did not like that.” She chuckled again, filing the documents before taking her seat again.

“So how do we free John?” Schaffer asked, getting to the point. Alex tutted and shook her head.

“Now, you see, me and Icacks had a talk before he went into his coma. He told me something, and I’m unsure if I’m supposed to tell you…but Xander and John are _not_ from the year 2007, instead from 2020, having been sent back by Wilbur to relive the worst years of their lives again.”

“John and Xander? What?”

“But John never actually transported back _fully_ to 2007, leaving Wilbur with an empty shell, which he chose to occupy. The _real_ John, from 2020, is currently stuck in an alternate loop in the year 2018, where he remains dormant until freed. Unlike John and his circumstance, Xander transported back fully.”

“But why the two of them? Why nobody else?”

“Because John and Xander got married on the 27th of September 2020. Cross gate-crashed the event, and simultaneously, in that decision, stopped Xander from committing….and sent him back to pay off his debt. I won’t say what else Wilbur has done to Xander and John, but it isn’t good.”

“And Icacks knew about this?”

“Of course he did. Wilbur is the reason Icacks is like how he is. He’s still bitter he never got to the top.” She looked to Schaffer. “We need to get Xander to create a formula which consists of the power to extract Cross’ soul from John’s body, allowing the host freedom. If everything goes according to plan, Xander will be reunited with John, and they’ll make it back to 2020.”

“And what if it goes wrong?” She asked and Alex bit her lip.

“I’m unable to tell you that. For now, report to Private Lee, and tell him what he must do.”

* * *

Three weeks after “John” had been promoted as General, and three weeks to work on a cure. PEIP had hatched a plan. They’d grab John, pin him and get Xander to inject the serum he’d created. They’d do it all to free everyone and allow past ties to lift, gaining access to the rights they deserve.

PEIP were also concerned about their real general. It had been three weeks, one week of him on life support, and he had no signs of coming back. They’d gotten Schaffer to ring Micah, and Micah hadn’t said another word except _“I’ll be there.”_ Micah Icacks stayed true to his word.

Him and Gary hadn’t spoken properly since their fight. Micah’s paranoia was still spiralling, and it wasn’t helping Gary spent longer hours at work. He had spent the night at the hotel and came back the next day. They’d fallen asleep, backs turned to each other, in the same bed. That only lasted four days before they sparked another row and Gary took it upon himself to move to sleeping on the couch. Micah didn’t want this. He wanted for them to be okay. It’s why he went for a job interview, in hopes of gaining his own cash and not having to rely on Gary for it.

Needless to say, he flunked the interview, and knew he wasn’t getting a call back. He was already in a terrible mood after it when he received the call while he was driving. He was at HQ within half an hour and signed in at the front desk. Everyone knew who he was. It was hard to mistake him for anyone else. Him and Gareth were near enough identical, aside from Gareth’s hair being shorter and darker than Micah’s. Micah walked through the halls with Sergeant Schaffer, and she pushed the door open.

It was the first time he saw his brother in that state.

He asked for time alone, and the request was accepted. Schaffer spun on her heel, attending to another task, allowing Micah to sit down beside his brother, his stupid, _stupid_ brother. He unbuttoned his trench coat, allowing him easier accessibility to sit down, and looked to the man on the bed.

Wires were attached to the still figure of Gareth Icacks. His dark golden hair was clearly matted, and he looked sickly under the lighting. His scars on his face seemed paler, healing faster than before. His clothes were still the same as when he’d been found injured, Micah assumed, as he was still in his uniform. Gareth was never the vulnerable one. Ever.

He took a breath and hesitantly took his brother’s hand. He knew Gareth was unconscious, yet something inside of him was biting away at his brain, telling him that he would wake up and start screaming, using his overprotectiveness to his advantage, telling Micah to turn his ass around and to never return. But when Micah’s hand clasped Gareth’s, and Gareth didn’t move, Micah realised his hopes were faded. The only noise in the room with them was the steady beat of his brother’s heart on the monitor which was the only evidence that he was still alive. He took a breath before he spoke.

“I hope you can hear me,” he started, unsure of whether the statement was true, but he was here and it was worth speaking his mind, “and I hope you fucking thank me after this.” He said and bit his cheek as he took a breath. “I cried when I found out you went under. Whether this is relevant to you or not, it shows I care about you, even though you don’t care about me. But I did cry, and it sparked this huge fight between me and Gary…we can’t stop fighting. He keeps saying you’re the blame, that even though I say I don’t hate you, which I don’t, he chooses to flip it around on me, and he tells me that the way I speak about you implies I hate you. He’s spending more time at work and I’m getting nervous. He has bruises on his shoulders, and it can’t be from bashing into doors like he claims. I’m worried he’s cheating on me, and it’ll be my fault.” He continued, keeping his voice steady. “You have a perfect life. You have two kids, you have a perfect job, you have a perfect wife. I have the constant fear my boyfriend is cheating on me, and I’ll be forced back out on to the streets at any second.” He said quietly. “I don’t know who to turn to for advice.”

He was silent again for a little while as he gently squeezed Gareth’s hand.

“It’s funny. I’m dating someone with a similar name as you. Maybe it’s out of irony or out of spite, but…I love him. And I love you, both in two different ways.” He paused again before he continued. “Gary wants to get married. Gary’s trying to convince me into adoption. I’ll be a fuckup of a father, and a fuckup of a husband. I’m telling him I’m not ready, and he refuses to believe me. I feel…stuck.” He turned to Gareth, expecting there to be a reply, but there wasn’t. “Right now, I need my big brother more than ever.” That was it, he’d said it, he’d admitted he was weak. He’d admitted he may not be able to proceed with himself, and stayed quiet. “I had a job interview today, and it went awfully, and then I get the call that you could die, for real. None of your agents are giving up, and neither am I, no matter what Gary says.” He breathed again; he wouldn’t cry in front of him, even if he was unconscious. “Please wake up. More people outside of me need you more than ever.” He pulled his hand away. “I love you.”

With that, he left and was escorted back out to his car. His mind was numb. He’d never expected his brother to fall so low, especially in the peak of his courier. It finally got them on the same level. Yes, Micah was conscious, and no, Gareth wasn’t, but was that his fault? On the drive back to his and Gary’s shared house, his mind remained racing, yet any harmful thought possible to cross his mind was censored, and he took it as being immune to the pain.

* * *

He drove home in silence, sticking to the speed limit, and he pulled up in the driveway.

The first thing he noticed when he was there was how tired he was, how he longed to fall into bed, maybe in Gary’s arms. The second thing he noticed was a woman’s voice coming from their bedroom.

His heart plummeted as adrenaline began to race through his entire body. Any ounce of tiredness vanished. An electric spark had been lit inside of him, and he wasn’t happy about it. He couldn’t breathe, he wouldn’t breathe, not until he had a conclusion. He walked quicker, and quicker, his chest tight with fear as he ended up running up the stairs to their room. He didn’t hesitate to push the door open, it banging against the wall. He stood at the doorframe, his eyes immediately fixing on the scene.

What. _The. **Fuck.**_

His head began to spin and he gripped a hold of the doorframe as they performed in their…act, in the bed he’d slept in the night prior. This was enough evidence for his speculations to be confirmed. The fact they hadn’t even noticed they weren’t alone any more was even worse. He’d fallen in love with Gary, trusted him with his everything, shared thoughts he’d never thought he’d experience, imagined a future with the damn person, and he was fucking another _woman_ in _their_ bed! He took a sharp breath as he forced tears down. He was so many emotions, none of them good. He was nauseous, so nauseous, and they weren’t stopping.

“Mrs Monroe.” Micah said, his voice bolder than he’d expected. He watched Gary turn around, the sheets halfway off of them, as the three stared at each other for a few agonising seconds. _Keep it locked away._

“I’ll be leaving.” Linda said, climbing out from underneath him and changing back into her clothes, walking back out of the house as if nothing had happened, waving to the two left in the room. When she was gone, he slammed their bedroom door shut. God, was he mad. He was shaking already, and he’d hardly even started.

Confrontation _was_ a bitch, and Gary couldn’t get his way out of this one. He looked at Gary, who was sat in bed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry, Micah…” Gary said quietly, and Micah laughed, he _laughed_ at the sheer audacity the man had.

“Sorry?! _Sorry?!_ ” He asked, not drawing his eyes away. “Sorry for what? Having an affair on me? And don’t even _try_ and get yourself out of this one! You _knew_ about my paranoia, you _knew_ about my fears! Of course I couldn’t trust you!”

“Hey, it’s not like that-“

“And you’re trying to keep me in a relationship when I literally _just_ caught you cheating?!” He said and looked at him. “You are naked, in _our_ bed after fucking one of your clients, who is married, by the way, but of course you knew that! You were my damn boyfriend, Gary!” He was getting progressively more infuriated, and he showed no signs of slowing down.

“Were?” Gary asked weakly, looking up, putting his glasses back on to look at him properly.

“If you dare think I was going to stay with you after catching you _fucking_ the brains out of another woman, not a man, Gary, a woman, then you’re something else.” He walked over to Gary and stared him down. “I trusted you. I trusted you so much, and you rub everything in my face. Congratulations, you’re an asshole, and I hope you rot in hell.” His face crinkled up with every word he said, spitting as he did so. “I loved you, I can’t say I still do because god knows how I’m feeling because you don’t care about me!”

“Of course I do!”

“So why did you cheat on me?!” He asked and looked him in the eyes. More silence occurred before Gary gave his answer.

“I…I didn’t want to-“

“That’s no excuse.”

A longer pause followed and a swallowing of saliva to coat the back of Gary’s throat, which had turned dry, as he spoke. “I didn’t say no when Ms Monroe dropped her clothes in my office and….”

“And what.” He growled, not taking his eyes away.

“And she made me…..feel loved again!” He said and looked up to meet Micah’s eyes. It sparked another emotion in Micah, one he couldn’t put his finger on, as his eyes widened in disbelief.

“I’m sorry, made you feel _loved again?!”_

“Yes! You’re constantly crying! When was the last time we had sex, Micah?!”

“Don’t you dare call me by my nickname, Goldstein.” He said, low.

“Well you are! You’re always crying over your stupid brother who wouldn’t care about you, and you’re so damn distant! I could have broken up with you, yet I love y-“ He was cut off with a slap to his face. When he opened his eyes, wiping the tears from them from the pain, he saw the flash of a beige coat leaving the room, and golden hair flying behind the man as he ran down the stairs. Gary changed and ran downstairs to see Michael holding a photo frame of the two of them.

“You can say goodbye to everything, Gary.” He said and smashed it on the kitchen tiles, letting glass shatter everywhere.

“Michael! Stop it!” He shouted, but Michael didn’t; he’d only just gotten started. He picked up another one.

“This is for you convincing me I had a shot at being someone’s husband!” More glass rained on the floor. “This is for you trying to force me to adopt a kid knowing I wasn’t ready!” He smashed the next frame before moving to the cutlery. He picked up a few mugs and let them drop out of his hands. “They must have slipped! Like how you clearly slipped into Ms Monroe!” He said, picking up plates, throwing them at the wall, the satisfaction of the sprinkling of glass making him want _more._ He ignored Gary’s disturbed pleas, but he didn’t stop. Anything that could be smashed _got_ smashed. “So yeah, I _knew_ you were cheating on me, and guess what, Gary?! I went to a job interview today so I could get my own income!” Another smash. “It went awfully, not like you’d care, seeing as you’re more involved with Linda anyways, and then I found out there’s the possibility my brother’s going to die! The brother I adore and cherish with my entire damn heart and YOU DON’T CARE!”

“Yes I do!” Gary said, arms shielding his face from glass.

“Yeah, yeah! I’ve heard it all before! How long did it go on for!”

“For like…three weeks!”

“So instead of trying to comfort me when I needed comforting, you _knew_ my mental health was getting worse, and you chose to CHEAT ON ME?!” A final smash, looking at him. “Thank God I never unpacked my bag. I’m leaving, and I will never _ever_ return.”

Before Gary could process what happened, Michael was gone, and so was his car. He was left with fragments of glass and guilt that began to creep up his spine. Why couldn’t he have said no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Micah Icacks with a glass frame in his hand, what crimes will he commit??!?!?!??!?!
> 
> anyways micah's homeless now sorry guys


	7. Blinded By The Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah Icacks makes a mistaKE and i still can't write climax scenes so,,, have Wilbur being extracted from John's body!!!! With a touch of BL-U3 and R-3D

The adrenaline wore off on the drive to…wherever he was going. He had no money to his name, the little things he owned in the bag in the back and nowhere to go. He had to pull over. If he drove in that moment, he would crash. He pulled over on the side of the road and pulled up his phone, missed calls from Gary in the plenty and none from Sergeant Schaffer. He was a faded cause, and he had no choice _but_ to resort to his last option. Allowing his hands to fall steady, he scrolled through his contacts and allowed his finger to hover over a specific one.

He’d sworn he would never contact his parents again. He had no choice now. He’d have to come up with an extravagant lie for this. He’d have to make himself appear worthy of their business. Luckily, he had a plan. He hit ring on his mother’s contact, shaking subtly, hearing the rings of the phone. The whooshing of the cars outside the window was silent now, the only noise coming from the inside of his car. He was trapped in a bubble, away from harm. He wouldn’t be for long. On the sixth ring, his mother picked up.

“ _Who is this?”_

He sighed. He’d forgotten she wouldn’t have his number in her contacts. He set his phone down in the passenger seat and spoke up.

“Mother, it’s Michael.” He heard a scoff from the other end of the line.

 _“Ah, Michael.”_ She said, clear disgust in her voice. “ _What do you want?”_

“I’m asking whether I can come home for a little while. My girlfriend just broke up with me and kicked me out of her place. I got evicted a little while ago. It shan’t be too long, just until I have my new business set up.” Yes, because Micah wanted to be a business man, and not the barista who flirted with guys over the bar like he used to be. He wasn’t that kind of person. He didn’t ask for much, and he _certainly_ didn’t want to be the wealthy kind. He wanted the minimum wage jobs and the coworkers he befriended back. He only hoped that he’d end up where he used to be in the near future.

“ _You said girlfriend?”_ His mother asked, a sudden lilt to her voice.

“Yes mother, I did say girlfriend. You were right. Me assuming I was a homosexual male was proven wrong when I met her. Her name is Katherine, but we are no longer together.”

“ _And a business man?”_

“That is correct.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I only need a place to stay while I set up the business. Mind if I take up my old childhood room for a little while?”

“ _Of course it’s okay! Goodness, your father will be so pleased! When will you be coming over?!”_

“I’m just around the corner, so about five minutes?” The conversation proceeded as he dragged out the lie, but it had to be done if he was to enable himself to have somewhere to stay. He heard his mother’s excited squeal as she hung up the phone. He sighed again, shaking his head and driving again until he reached the dreaded house.

Many bad memories hung inside that building. Gareth had lived with them until he was 23, and then there was an extra amount of pressure put on Micah to achieve everything his brother had. Things obviously hadn’t gone as planned, and he’d ended up where he had. It was a full circle, and he was back. His mother opened the door with a wide grin on her face and waved to him. She wasn’t necessarily small, but certainly the smallest one in their family. She had the same colour hair as Gareth had, and she was dressed in a black jumpsuit with white flowers along the top. Micah thought it was horrible; Micah was right. Her hair was cut up to her shoulders, and she was certainly paler than he remembered. The only key difference he could pick out was how welcoming she was appearing to be towards him, which was a first.

Once he’d closed his car door, she rushed out to him, squeezing her arms around her youngest son, to which he casually flung his other arm around her. “You’re all grown up!” She gasped and he nodded.

“30 years old.” He said and let go of her, tucking his hair behind his ear. The last time his mother had seen him, his hair was short and he had a clean face, and he dressed in sweaters. Now, he had a beard, his hair hanging just above his shoulders, and he wore only shirts and jeans, aside from the heavy coats he wore on top.

“And a _businessman!_ Me and your father would have never expected you to go down that route considering how your grades were in school! My gosh!” She chuckled as he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “And you dress the part as well! You look like how Gareth did at that age!” And there it was, the casual name drop. It didn’t affect him, it didn’t when he’d half expected it. He shook his head.

“Yes, I went to see Gareth earlier today. He’s still in a coma.”

“Yes, tragic news.” His mother sighed mournfully. “We got a call from the doctor, Henrietta, she said her name was, she said he may not pull through which terribly upset your father, terribly upset.” She said and shook her head. “I _am_ glad to see you put your head in the right mind frame and got a decent job! A business man!” She gasped again, in disbelief. Micah nodded. It would only be for a few weeks. That was it. “Do come in, darling! Your father is waiting for you!”

Micah nodded, pushing his nerves down. His father was tall, about an inch taller than Gareth. He had short blonde hair and fierce green eyes. He had a constant stern expression, and always dressed professionally. He was strong, but _not_ as strong as Gareth, but strong enough to do certain damage. Micah, however, had matured on that time. He knew how to speak formally, and he knew how to behave. As long as he didn’t end up triggering a fight, theoretically, everything should run smoothly.

He stepped inside and to the living room to see his father, standing there, as expected. He looked older than Micah had thought he would; it bought satisfaction to him. He smiled wide. “Father.”

“Michael.” His father said, merely nodding towards his son.

“He’s a _businessman,_ Terrence! Just like Gareth!” His mother exclaimed as she followed them both through.

“He is? Well, that _is_ a surprise.” Only then did he see his father smile. “Have you gotten a job yet, Michael?”

“No, unfortunately I need to set up the website before I can start earning money. It shan’t take more than a few months at most. But I was kicked out by my girlfriend and had nowhere to go due to eviction a couple of months ago.”

“That is terrible, son.” Terrence, his father, said. “But, seeing as you are unable to earn an income of your own during these times, why don’t I offer you a job at my office?”

“Terrence, is that a good idea?” His mother asked, looking to her husband, who nodded.

“He’s got the brains for it! He’s finally listening to his older brother and taking his advice on board!” He flashed Michael a smile. “So, what do you say, Michael?”

Michael considered the pros and cons. He hated the idea of working in an office, but it payed well, meaning he’d be out soon enough. If he worked hard enough, maybe he could keep it as a “side job,” and when he was financially stable again, he’d confess the truth. Michael smiled and nodded. “I accept.”

* * *

“Is it guaranteed to work?” Schaffer asked, inspecting the sparkling dark blue liquid in the vial Xander held up.

“Of course it will!” He said and turned back to her. “So what appears to be that purple glitter in there? That’s actually plasma that was found beside the portal. So, logically, I inspected the formula, and realised it had traces of BL-U3 and R-3D within it, as well as another strand called TB3w.”

“Okay, and what does this mean?”

“These three strands, together, enable evidence for the portal to appear in the real world. It keeps it running. Because me and John, well, _Wilbur,_ aren’t supposed to be here, if I inject him with this, John’s body will return to John’s soul, which will leave us with a time-travelling raging lunatic in the premises.”

“And you want the room on lockdown when you perform this activity?”

“Yes, ma’am. Anyone present once the serum has been injected must _not_ leave the room. Because I haven’t been able to trial this on anyone, or anything, I’m unsure of the side effects, though I’m pretty sure that this baby will succeed in the task it was made to do.”

“Okay….and what’s that blue liquid?”

“Oh, simply, that’s just water combined with more strands of BL-U3. Because the plasma from the portal has 1 part BL-U3, meaning the substance is more responsive to water due to the R-3D being a counter method thingy, I’ve forgotten the name for it, _cure!_ Cure is the word! So because R-3D can often displace the BL-U3 by acting as a cure, if we add more BL-U3, it enables the serum to become reactive to a liquid, such as blood.”

“Private Lee, you are a genius. John wasn’t lying.” Schaffer said and smiled over at him. Xander smiled back.

“He hardly ever does.” He sighed softly. “But we need to get Wilbur in here somehow….” Almost by chance, Colonel Hill came in with “John’s” arms behind his back, Nick running in the room as well. “Okay, this is brilliant!” Xander said and got the restraints ready on the bed, Schaffer taking the other side.

“We know your secret!” Alex hissed as she threw John on to the bed. The man’s face appeared to be startled, but Xander looked the body in the eyes and shook his head, fastening his arms and legs down, Schaffer covering the left side. Then, Xander drew the needle back, uncapping it, and stabbing it directly into one of the veins in his neck, Nick crying out in horror. Immediately after it happened, the glass in the lights shattered. Everyone covered their heads as they were plunged into darkness, following the protocol and crouching on the floor. Xander let his eyes adjust to the dark, and he realised Schaffer was right beside him.

Once the lights came back on, there was a soft green tinge to the room. Xander was the first one to stand up, watching the body of John’s fade away, leaving the maniacal laughter of Wilbur Cross filling the room. Everyone slowly rose to see the taller man, with auburn slicked back hair, dressed in a denim vest, a blood stained denim jacket, and jeans, his PEIP officiated boots unlaced, and his teeth bare. Nick blinked.

“John?” He asked softly, but Wilbur shook his head. “What did you do with my husband!”

“He’s not your husband, Nick.” Xander said, tamely. “You are staring at the face of Wilbur Cross.”

With that, Wilbur’s eyes flew open, the same lime green Xander had become immune to, and they looked directly at him. “Hello, Xander. Long time no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuck in the sypf era be like: h m m , y e s , t h e b l u t h r e e


	8. Go Out With A Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick gets the truth, there's some mild fluff at the end. It's the storm before the calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: reference to the abuse john sustained during SYPF, reference to the abuse Xander sustained during TAHS, reference to s****de

“You know this guy?” Nick asked, looking directly at the younger Private, who nodded.

“We have history.” He said casually, before looking directly to Wilbur. “Where is he?”

“Where’s _who?_ You must specify, or did he never tell you that rule?” The denim clad man asked. Xander felt a chill go down his spine as all the other agents in the room turned to face him.

“Where’s my husband?!” He snarled, his lip curling, forcing another response from Nick.

“ _Your_ husband? What the fuck? John doesn’t even _know_ you.”

“Tell him the truth, Xander. Tell him _exactly_ why John knows you.” Wilbur smirked, still cackling in his restrains. Xander shook his head.

“Colonel Cross, you know why I can’t do that.”

“No, no! Go on Xander! Tell him!” The maniac said, grinning. Xander swore that his teeth were stained green. Xander bit his lip again. Schaffer knew, Colonel Hill knew, why _couldn’t_ he tell Nick? Xander sighed and eventually gave in.

“I’m not from the year 2007.” He said, facing Nick, who laughed.

“Don’t bullshit me! I’m a higher rank than you-“

“My name is Lieutenant Xander Lee as of the 27th September 2020. Which, coincidentally, _not_ coincidentally, is 13 years in the future. I got married to John on the 27th of September, after you abused him endlessly for months upon months after a local disaster named The Apotheosis on the 28th July 2018. To follow from that, I come from the second dimension where this occurs, where on the Black Friday of 2018, _that man_ , Wilbur Cross, supposedly missing in the April of 2006, started selling dolls that turned the whole world crazy, starting a third world war. Oh, and John died and went to a realm which wasn’t a dimension, and is only accessible through a portal, which is where _he_ lives!” Xander glared back at Cross, who hadn’t stopped laughing. “And another thing, that man is a rapist, an abuser, and _you_ are the reason _my_ John has fucking PTSD!”

“I would never hurt John! You’re talking bullshit!” Nick said, beginning to panic. “You’re lying! You’re actually lying!”

“Oh, but he isn’t, Nicky.” Wilbur said and looked directly at the Brigadier. “Because you and I, we make an excellent team, alongside a woman named Linda Monroe who, about an hour ago, ruined the life of a certain Micah Icacks.”

“Gareth’s brother- why are you telling me this?!” Nick asked, looking frantically around the room. “You two! You’re being dreadfully quiet!”

“I mustn’t speak against the General’s orders.” Alex finally spoke up, looking directly towards Wilbur as well, “but I can speak against his.” She said and stood up. “The date, the 27th September 2020, early _early_ on in the morning, Xander had an attempt of sorts, due to the fact Wilbur had assaulted Xander. And _you_ , Nicholas, also assaulted John. John, luckily, stopped Xander from the attempt, but it wasn’t enough. The wedding went smoothly, but at the afterparty, the three of you, you, Colonel Cross and Linda Monroe threatened to leak Xander’s secret, which, if I’m not mistaken, got leaked?”

“That would be correct, Colonel.” Xander said quietly, having to relive the memory.

“And with that, it caused Xander to run out, where Cross sat in the backseat and transported Xander back to 2007. Originally, John went back with him, but was overtaken by Cross, and John’s body has since been used as a host.”

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Nick said and ran a hand through his hair, looking to them all. “And you knew about this? I go on to abuse John?”

“You go on to die in a cell by shotgun, in front of John, your daughter and me.” Schaffer said. Nick looked at them with open eyes.

“We had a _daughter?!”_

“That’s irrelevant, she also dies.” Cross snarled. “Now, I bet you want your little Johnny-Won back.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Xander said and stared him down. “You don’t scare me anymore. Whilst you are chained down to that bed, you can do no harm. You are defenceless in this dimension. You’re _weak.”_

“I am no such thing!” Wilbur barked back, but a smile began to form on Xander’s face.

“You are _incredibly_ weak!” Xander said, beginning to smile more. “And you wanna know why?” He asked him and got up close to his face. “Because you haven’t realised the aftermath has already kicked in.”

It was satisfactory to see the flash of fear that crossed Cross’ eyes as he looked down to himself, green particles beginning to emit from his body.

“Your body is gonna explode and you can do nothing about it, and when it does, _we’ll_ be placed back to our regular dimension! _I_ will be reunited with John, Nick will be dead, and so will you. Colonel Hill, I believe you have a few last words before we go back?”

As the glow got brighter, burning the eyes of themselves, she stepped forward and looked at her rival. “I won.” She said in a low whisper. The last look Wilbur had on his face was purely unknown, but some may argue it was terror. Still, the room erupted with a green glow and a blast that knocked Xander to the floor.

It felt like each of his cells were being ripped apart, and there was a sensation, like bubble wrap popping, as his limbs began to disappear. Xander let go. He closed his eyes. He knew he’d wake up in the greater good. Harms way was gone, he only had to locate himself to his husband now.

* * *

Minutes later, once the ringing in his head vanished, he opened his eyes. He was in his lab. He felt his lab coat pocket and felt his phone. Pulling it out, he read the date and time.

_July 28 th 2018, 4:56 AM_

Xander’s heart was frantic. He’d done it, _he’d really done it_ and nobody had doubted him. He jumped up and looked to his hand. His ring was still there. This must be where John was located, otherwise he’d be back in 2020. He knew Wilbur’s plan. He wanted him to relive all the torturous moments, but this time, they knew what was in store. Wilbur was powerless until he healed, and healing was a longer process in The Black and White than it was in the middle of PEIP, which was the most sterile place in Hatchetfield. Xander took a breath and stood up, dropping his lab coat to the floor. He was back in his vest, which was half way undone, as it always was, his black jeans and his Nikes. His leather jacket was hanging up by the door, and his name tag read _Lieut. X. Lee._ He was back, and he was stronger than ever.

He opened the door and looked around. This was _definitely_ the PEIP he knew. The lights in the corridor were still that blinding, sometimes nauseating, light. His lab still had the dark oak furniture, and he could see the faint glow of his _actual_ lab in the corner of his eye. He laughed. He’d done it, _he’d done it,_ and if his calculations were correct, John would be in the medical lab.

Xander passed his fellow agents, nodding to each individual. They smiled and walked past, carrying documents, or clothing, or weapons. About twice he’d get asked by a younger recruit where a certain room was, and he’d answer.

Then he made it.

He strode down the medical lab, unintentionally picking up to a fast-paced walk, as he reached the room at the end of the corridor. If it was locked, John wasn’t in there, and he’d have to start his search all over again. If it was unlocked, his husband was in there. He closed his eyes and put his hand on the silver handle, aware of the coldness of it, and pushed down.

The door opened.

Xander looked back up as he peered in to see John on the bed, staring at the ceiling helplessly. When the door opened fully, John was alerted to someone else’s presence. The two made eye contact and Xander grinned. “Get me out of these _damn_ cuffs, and let me kiss you.” John said at once. Xander nodded, obeying his superior, and rushed forward, the key in his hand. With each turn, the cuffs snapped with a soft _click_ , and it wasn’t long before John was sitting up. Xander sat on the bed beside him and felt John hug him tightly. Xander hugged him back, adjusting to how his husband felt in his arms again. It hadn’t been long, but it had certainly been long enough to forget, especially with everything else that happened.

“I’m sorry…” John said quietly, his voice shaking. Xander pulled away and looked at him to see the familiar watery gloss coating John’s blue eyes. Xander smiled and brushed the tears away with his thumb.

“What have you got to be sorry for?”

“Because I _left_ you there! I said we’d be in it together, and-and I was _weak,_ and _pathetic,_ and fuck! It was Cross who put Icacks in the coma to begin with!”

“I know, I could tell, it was never confirmed, but we knew.” He cupped John’s face and looked at him. “But you know what?”

“What?”

“I found you again, didn’t I? And I can take you home.” He watched John nod as a tear slipped. Xander didn’t hesitate to wipe it away either. “You happy to see me?”

“I really, _really_ am.” John said, a smile forming. “He…all throughout it, Wilbur was in the back of my mind. I was able to put up with it to some extent, and then he noticed how you were struggling. He was threatening to take over your body…I wouldn’t let him.”

Xander shook his head and looked at John. “I love you so much, John, you realise?”

“I hardly realise, but by the amount you tell me, I have a vague idea.” He said, but it was enough for Xander to pull him back into a kiss. Xander felt John smiling against him, and Xander didn’t’ complain. When they pulled away, John checked his watch.

“July 28th 2018.” He looked to Xander.

“The Apotheosis.” Xander said, taking John’s hand. “And this time, you’ve got a secret weapon.”

“And what would that be?”

“It would be me.” John smiled until the door burst open to see Schaffer at the door, panting.

“What are you two doing sitting around? A meteor crashed into the Starlight Theatre during last night’s production of Mamma Mia. There’s some weird shit going down, and we’ve already had to shoot three people. If not contained, this could be a world wide thing.” John looked up to Xander, and Xander squeezed his hand. John took a breath before looking up to his Colonel.

“Gather everyone in the briefing room. I want them there within the twenty minute mark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE APOTHEOSIS, COMMA, BITCH.


	9. Just A Typical Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who is john mcnamara. i don't know him. he doesn't exist. 
> 
> anyway i said paulkins apotheosis rights- it's the start of the apotheosis, and this is how it links back to the original book thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the apotheosis except Ted is still a massive asshole, and I have full control so of course some things are going to be different but different for the better!!

5 AM and an extremely tired Emma Perkins walked into Beanies, dressed only in her work uniform, consisting of an ivory button up blouse, which was the softest thing she owned, black shorts, black flats and a black tie. There was the option to wear a green cap with it, but she chose against it. The green apron _was_ mandatory, so she couldn’t escape the hatred she had for her work all together.

She flipped on the lights and the machines, allowing herself to adjust to the light. As well as the light that shone in through the windows at the front, they still had that additional, cheap yellow lighting. The carpet was a dark green, unlike the walls, which were a pale version of the colour. The seating was a dark oak theme, and the counter had a glass show case on top of white marble. The back room was very much similar, and the kitchen was plain boring. She sighed as she threw in some pastries and other goods for customers and made herself a cup of coffee as she heard the bell on the door chime. She looked up to see Nora and Zoey walking in, already in full uniform, and they smiled politely.

“Oh, Emma.” Zoey said. Emma rolled her eyes, not looking forward to the possible lecture she was about to receive, “you have two hours to perform a new dance and song we came up for when we get tipped.”

Emma spat her coffee out at once and looked at her. “Are you fucking serious?! It’s 5 AM!”

“And you should watch your language.” Nora said as she walked to the back room, setting her bag on the chair.

“Now, let’s get started!” Zoey beamed and Emma rolled her eyes again, but agreed. The music started up from Zoey’s phone as her and Nora began guiding her through the steps.

* * *

Paul Matthews hit the alarm button once it started blaring and sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning tiredly. The sun was peeking through his window and he sighed. He threw the covers back and got out of bed, putting on his slippers, and heading downstairs. He put on the coffee machine and yawned as he made himself some toast, buttering it lazily. He ate it quickly and drank half of his coffee before he started his morning routine. He took off his slippers, and turned on the shower, making sure it was the right temperature, as he lay out his clothes. He unchanged in the bathroom and was showered within ten minutes. He hopped out, dried and changed. He put on the radio and went to brush his teeth.

“ _This is the Hatchetfield Morning News with Dan and Donna.”_ A voice introduced the show from Paul’s bedroom as he began to brush his teeth.

“ _They said he wouldn’t make it, that he had fallen from too great a height, but this little guy beat the odds and captured our hearts. Now weighing in at almost **ten** ounces, Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel has outgrown his adopted father’s pocket.” _

“Peanuts!” Paul chuckled as he spit out the toothpaste into the sink, drying his mouth and walking back into his bedroom.

“ _Luckily, proud Papa Ed has been squirreling away on his Go-Fund-Me page to build Peanuts his very own, get this Dan! “Squirrel house!”_

 _“That’s amazing.”_ The other voice said, clearly intrigued, or maybe that was just their jobs to keep ratings high so the show could stay on air.

“ _And something **else** has fallen to the ground here in Hatchetfield. This time from outer space! The meteor came crashing into-“ _Paul flicked off the radio with the remote as he slid on his blazer, shaking his head.

“Aliens,” he muttered to himself. Paul had never believed in aliens before, and it certainly wouldn’t start now. He didn’t believe a meteor would be coming into the lives of Hatchetfield citizens, who were ordinary people with ordinary jobs struggling to get by. That was everyone _except_ Paul. Paul was particularly content with his life in the matter that he’d been born and raised there. He was happy with his job, and wasn’t too far away from his parents either. He knew for other people that this wasn’t the case, like with his friend, Charlotte, who was having marriage issues, or his friend Bill, who was struggling to reconnect with his daughter, Alice, after the divorce, or his coworker, Ted _,_ who was, well, _Ted._ Everyone else appeared to have their own issues. Everyone _but_ him, and boy, was he thankful for his life.

He went to take the car, but realised how much of a beautiful day it was, and decided against it. The last thing he wanted was to get stuck in traffic in a blazer with the heat blazing down on him. He began the walk from his house to CCRP Technical, the office he worked, not expecting anything out of the ordinary.

That was until he accidentally ran into the same Greenpeace worker who stopped him, and pestered him about donating to the company. He found himself in a sticky situation where she bought up turtles, and he said he already donated which was a clear lie. He sighed. “Ma’am, I’m a good guy I swear, but I’m on my way to work and-“

Her hands flew out in front of him in a show-stopping type act and she seemed not to acknowledge him at all. “ _Yeah! Just a typical day!”_ Paul’s heart stopped. This could _not_ be happening. He began to panic a lot more when her song progressed into something else, and she started dancing with other people on the street. How did they know the lyrics? The choreography? His mind began to fog over. He backed up into a homeless guy he’d had a brief encounter with the day before. Paul apologised, and the homeless man continued walking…

Until the lyrics began to pour out of his mouth. Paul was stunned as he watched the scene before him. There were duos doing the same choreography behind the homeless guy, and before Paul knew it, he was trapped in the middle of an ensemble song. When the people finally left, he went to work, hitting his fists together.

* * *

When he arrived, Bill was ranting to Charlotte about some sort of issue, and she’d just turned back into the break room. He looked across to his friends, well, “friends” and began to speak. “Uh, hey guys. Is today some kind of, I don’t know, Canadian holiday or something? Like us, International Music Day or…”

“Not that I know of.” Bill said, almost questioning what Paul was saying. Any logical person would, but Paul was, in simplicity, _traumatised_ by his encounter. To him, he’d encountered people performing in a real life musical, which was his worst nightmare. It wasn’t his fault, but he needed to know he was going insane. He couldn’t have been the only one to see what had happened…could he?

“Okay, because…I just saw some people singing…” he said, and looked to Bill, who was clearly worried about Paul, and waited for Paul to continue speaking, which he did. “Like they were in a musical.”

“Ah.” Bill said, nodding and turning back to the coffee table in the breakroom.

“There was this homeless guy! And this _very_ rude woman from Greenpeace on my street doing this whole choreographed number-“

“Like a flash mob?!” Ted perked up, joining in to the conversation, appearing out of seemingly nowhere. Paul jumped and scrunched his face up tight before he took time to calm down. He seemed to smile. _A flash mob. It’s only a flash mob._

“Yeah…I guess. I mean, what else could it have been?”

“Well, did you get a video of it?!” Ted butted in once again, getting closer and closer to Paul, making him severely uncomfortable.

Paul shook his head frantically to get Ted away, stepping back. “No…”

Ted laughed breathily before he punched Paul’s shoulder. “You’re fucking useless, Paul!” He said before he grabbed his mug and headed towards the door to leave and return to work.

Paul winced and rubbed his shoulder, knowing it’d leave a bruise. “I’ve just got a bad feeling about all of this…” He admitted, sighing gently before he noticed Charlotte come back out. “Oh, Ch-Charlotte?”

“Hm?” She asked as she looked up at Paul.

“Have you noticed anything strange today?” He asked, a tone of desperation in his voice as he looked to his co worker. A smile formed on Charlotte’s face, but it was clear her intentions were not to prove her happiness.

“Well,” she said, a soft chuckle escaping her lips, “it’s silly and probably nothing but-“

“What is it?” Paul asked, gently, attempting to try and get her to speak more openly after figuring she was nervous.

“Well…it’s Sam, my husband.” She said, a deathly silence following. She inhaled and continued to speak, her voice filling the room. “He said he was getting home late last night-“

Ted then proceeded to offer a scoff-type laugh, everyone turning to face him. “He didn’t get home at all!” He said proudly before realising what he’d said. When he did, he went slightly pale and sipped his coffee. “I heard, I wasn’t there…” he said in an unconvincing manner. That’s when Charlotte spoke up again.

“He must’ve rolled in around six this morning…he was in the shower when I woke up. I could hear him singing…” She said, the smile growing slightly at the thoughts. “And I know this is a little strange to notice because Sam’s not a _bad_ singer, he’s just always a little…flat…” The smile dropped and she swallowed. “But not this morning.” She shook her head, clutching her coffee mug that little bit tighter. “Today, he sounded like an _angel!_ And I don’t know why but…it _frightened_ me! It just didn’t sound like _my Sam!”_

“Charlotte? Do you remember _what_ Sam was singing?” Paul interrupted as politely as he could. He watched Charlotte’s hand loosen against her mug, returning to her normal grip.

“Oh, it was just a silly little song. Something like a La Dee-“

“Da, da, _day?!”_ Paul continued. Charlotte turned to look at him, pointing a finger at him as well as a shocked expression plastered on her face. Before she could speak, Melissa appeared from the door, a smile on her face.

“Paul, Mr Davidson wants to see you in his office!” She chirped, and it was Paul’s turn to be surprised. The realisation set in and his eyes went wide.

“Oh, shoot, I didn’t hand in my weekly report yesterday! I’m gonna get it-“ He said, turning to run out the room, Ted’s laughter following him through the hallways.

* * *

Walking with Melissa was certainly something incredibly interesting. She was humming a tune he’d never heard before under her breath as they strolled through the cubicles. Melissa would occasionally stop at someone’s desk and place a file on it, a pink post-it note on top of the folder. He would have been more concerned about the matter if his mind wasn’t still buzzing from his experience earlier on in the day. He took a breath, and another, and another. Melissa stopped at her desk, located directly outside Mr Davidson’s office. She smiled sweetly, flashing her teeth. “Mr Davidson will see you now.” She said. Paul looked at her, and swore she had specks of blue on her teeth. He was most likely hallucinating. He shook his head violently before he thanked Melissa and approached the door. After stabilising himself, he pushed on the door and headed inside, to see his boss reading a newspaper.

He took a seat in the opposite chair and slapped his hands down on his knees. “Hey Mr Davidson. I think I know why you called me in here. My weekly report was _not_ turned in yesterday. Not because it’s not done!” He said frantically in an attempt to make him seem like he’d done the work….which he had. Sort of. “It _is_ done! There’s just a problem with the printer network, you see. You try to print somethinng out here and it get’s sent over there.” He said, adding gestured with his words. “I bet my report is sitting in someone else’s printer tray! If you give me til the end of the day, I can find it!” He said and smiled, only to see his boss shaking his head behind the newspaper. “Not _do it?!_ I wouldn’t just _not_ do my statistical analysis. That would really gum things up here in the office and that’s the last thing I want.”

The newspaper came down, and Mr Davidson was looking straight ahead. Not at Paul, but more into space. He had a wide smile on his face, one similar to the one Paul had seen on the Greenpeace girl and- _oh no._

“ _What do you want, Paul?!”_ The man began to sing, snapping his head to look at his coworker. Paul’s eyes immediately widened, purely out of fear again, as he looked to his boss.

“Excuse me?!” He asked, trying to piece everything together. Nothing was making sense. Now his _boss_ was singing, out of _nowhere_ and there was _no music!_

 _“Tell me what you desire to see! Your deepest intent, Paul!”_ His boss continued, rolling up the newspaper and setting it on his desk, before crossing his left leg over his right and smiling like a child. “ _What do you see for this company?”_ He asked as he stood up, looking at Paul, making similar gestures with his hands to the ones Paul had been making a few seconds prior. “ _I’m looking for someone with strong ambitions! Someone to sell their specific vision! Someone to share with precise precision, their thoughts! Cause I want you to want….to want.”_ He said and began to walk across the office room, bouncing up and down. “So what do you want, Paul?! What’s that one concrete goal that motivates all your actions?!” He asked, his grin never fading.

Paul shifted more uncomfortably in his chair, desperate to get away from his lunatic boss. “I don’t think I have one of those!” He admitted, disturbed and rushed.

“Well then, how’s anyone supposed to _sympathise_ with you, Paul?” Mr Davidson continued to ask as Paul shook his head.

“I want what anybody wants! Money, a partner, kids someday maybe-“ he was cut off by Mr Davidson clasping his hands over Paul’s shoulders.

“ _I want you to want, Paul! A man so vague just can’t be trusted!”_ He said before he looked to Paul. “ _Something you pine for!”_ He declared, and Paul shifted again.

“Mr Davidson-“

“ _Maybe someone who keeps you lusted!”_ He mimicked the image of a woman’s body as he dropped to the floor, carving out the curves of a supposed woman as he went.

“That’s too many-“ Paul winced, still in extreme discomfort.

“ _I’m just a boss, I’m not an idea guy. I hired you “Pauls” to keep our stock high. But if you can’t pin that point that’s in the sky! Then I need you to want…to want!”_ He got off the floor and looked back to his employee. “ _Do you know what I want for myself?”_ He turned back and made some crazy hand movements as he flipped his hair around.

“Okay…” Paul said, awkwardly, trying to figure out the best way to get out of his office.

“ _I’ve waited for so long to tell somebody else!”_ His tone suddenly softened as he looked over to his desk. “ _Carol! My wife, you’re my muse, my source of light! Carol, my love.”_ He picked up the framed photo of his wife, carressing it. “ _I want you to choke me out at night. I want you to choke me. I want you to choke me.”_

“Okay uh, who is this for?!” Paul asked, trying to make the situation more lightheartened than before. His boss ignored his question and continued singing.

“ _I want you to choke me while I jerk off. I want you to choke me while I jerk off!”_ He set the photo down, instead lifting up his phone. “Melissa, get my wife on the phone for me!”

“Mr Davidson, I think I should leave!” Paul said, standing up, covering up Melissa’s muffled _on it boss_ from outside of the door.

“No, Paul, I want you to hear this, if you leave, you’re fired!” He said and leaned against his desk. “Carol? No, everything’s fine, I promise. I just wanted to tell you something.” He said and thought, chuckling awkwardly, moving his jaw with every harsh laugh. The smile on his face suddenly dropped, and Paul only watched on in confusion. “Oh…I forgot what it was….maybe some day I’ll remember, I love you, goodbye.” He said and put the phone down. Paul let out a sigh that carried the rest of his anxieties out before his boss stood back upright and held his arms out directly towards Paul.

“ _Paul now you know what it is to want!”_

“I wanna go home!” Paul said, in an extremely childish manner. It happened when his anxieties got too much, and he found he couldn’t cope.

“ _It consumes a man with passion and drives the primary plot! So take up yoga or improv classes. Volunteer at shelters, or twitch to the masses! There’s gotta be something that’ll keep my hands off you! Off you!”_ Davidson sang, beginning to chase Paul around the office. When he got back to his desk, he climbed on to it. “ _Cause I want you to want!”_

“Mr Davidson, I’m going to go get some coffee, do you want anything?”

_“No I need you to want!”_

“How about a nice caramel frap? Nothin’ better!”

“ _And if you don’t want, we’re through!”_ He continued and looked to the sides of the room, Paul having just ran out the room. “ _Paul? Paul? Paul!”_

The last notes ran throughout the office as Paul ran back to the break room, reconnecting with his coworkers. Ted seemed to be in stitches, but Charlotte and Bill shared the same concerned expression.

“What the _fuck_ was that?!” Ted asked, clutching his side.

“It isn’t a joke, Ted! I told you it was something serious!” Charlotte said, as Bill looked to Paul.

“Are you okay?” His old friend asked and Paul shook his head.

“Forget about me, we need to get out, and we need to get out _now.”_

“Where are we gonna go? Is any place safe?” Charlotte asked, nerves lacing her voice. Paul shrugged.

“Our best bet is Beanies.”

“Paul’s gonna go tell the latte hottay about how our _boss_ just fuckin serenaded him about masturbation! We all knew Paul is a _massive virgin_ but that is something else!” Ted said and Paul swallowed nervously, earning a harsh scoff from Charlotte.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ted!” Charlotte said and looked to Paul. “Beanies it is.”

They placed their coffee mugs in the sink and enabled themselves to quickly leave the break room, Charlotte trying to calm Ted down. They thought they were fine until they heard the soft clicking of Melissa’s shoes behind them. Only _then_ did they run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something you pine for something you pine for soemthing you pine ofr something you pinefro i sometbing you pine fo somethingyou epinefor domsir ti ypou pine ofnr


	10. Join The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The apotheosis is in full swing, ladies and gentlemen. Enter, Micah Icacks 13 years later in the middle of Beanies, where him and Emma go heart to heart. 
> 
> That is until Paul bursts in, of course.

A chime on the door enabled Emma to allow herself to realise there was a customer. Bracing herself with the coffee pot, she swayed her way out. “ _Good morning-“_

“Yeah, yeah, cut the crap.” A familiar voice said, specifically the known “coffee jerk” she’d encountered yesterday. “Do you need me to repeat the order? Someone like you may have already forgotten-“

“Grande caramel frappe in a venti cup, ten pumps of frappe roast, three shots of espresso, no caramel drizzle with whip on top?” She said and raised an eyebrow, punching the order into the screen. “And what were you saying? Or were you about to be incredibly sexist?”

The guy rolled his eyes and handed the $5.50 over, and this time, no dollar landed in the tip jar. This bought a lot of delight to Emma, who grinned, making the coffee.

“I see you learned from yesterday. I thought someone as simple as you wouldn’t want to come to Beanies ever again after removing the dollar from the tip jar because I wouldn’t sing for you which is _still so mean!”_ She was unable to resist her smile as she hit her fist against the counter, suppressing a laugh. “Why the fuck are you back here anyway?”

“I work for CCRP. My boss told me to come here. I don’t know why he doesn’t get his secretary to do it. That’s _her_ job after all. I would much rather be at Starbucks.”

“You work for CCRP too? Another one of my regulars works there! He’s called Paul.”

“Ah. Paul.” The guy nodded. “Yes, I’m aware of Paul. I’ve never spoken to him, nor will I ever. He’s commonly found in the break room with three other coworkers, two of which are _clearly_ having an affair with each other and-“ the man cut himself off, almost like a sudden realisation. Emma noticed and put the lid on the coffee, placing the cup on the counter.

“Dude, you okay?” She asked, straightening her bow.

The guy hesitated before he nodded. “Yeah. I just understand how much it hurts to be cheated on, and I know for a fact one of the coworkers is married, and her husband is having an affair on her. She’s a sweet girl…but if she finds out, it’ll break her.”

“You’ve been cheated on before?” She asked. She watched him nod. “Man, that _sucks_. I don’t understand why anyone would cheat on you.”

“I’m gay.” He corrected and Emma shrugged.

“Eh, it was worth a shot.” She said, cleaning the counter as she listened to him talk.

“Yeah. It was especially worse because, you see, I’d found out my brother was on the brink of death and I walk into the house which wasn’t mine, it was my ex’s, and he was fucking Linda Monroe.”

“Oh my God! No way!” Emma laughed and watched the taller guy nod. “Wait, wait, wait. When did this happen?” She asked, lowering her voice. He did the same.

“2007.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” She said and leaned closer over the counter. She looked around. There was hardly a queue, aside from one other, and the store was bustling with customers who had already ordered. “Can I know who it was? Between me and you.”

“Yeah, of course.” He said and leaned on to the counter like she had. “Gary Goldstein.”

“So Goldstein got pegged?!” She exclaimed and he shook his head.

“At some point, probably, but not when I walked in on him.”

“What’s your name?” Emma asked and he went to speak, cut off by the second customer.

“His name is Micah Icacks.”

Micah spun around and looked directly at the other man. He rolled his eyes and looked back at Emma. “My name is _Michael_ Icacks. And this is my ex boyfriend, as you are now aware.”

Emma stifled a laughed and finger gunned towards Micah as she stood up. “So you must be-“

“43 years old, my brother’s dead uh….moved into my own apartment a couple of years ago, successful now uh, haven’t spoken to my brother’s coworkers in years or to Gary Goldstein, which changed today.” He smiled bitterly and flicked his hair around to look at him. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s a coffee store…?” Gary replied, but the lilt to his voice indicated an obvious lie. Micah raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, waiting for his ex’s reply. When he only smiled sheepishly, Micah sighed.

“So he saw me in the coffee store and walked in in hopes of reconnecting.” He said and took his coffee. “And for that, I’ll be-“

“EMMA!” A voice shouted from the door. Everyone looked up to see Paul, Charlotte, Ted and Bill at the door. Paul immediately ran in and pushed past Gary and Micah, grabbing Emma’s hand. “The world has gone _crazy.”_

“Yeah, our _boss_ serenaded Paul about jerking off, it was _awesome!”_ Ted smiled and then burst out laughing in the store again. Charlotte shook her head and stepped forward.

“Paul, Paul, take a breath.” Emma said. “What do you mean?”

“The world’s becoming a musical! There’s a Greenpeace girl outside my street and _she_ was singing like a flash mob and other people joined in, Bill and Charlotte googled the lyrics and the song doesn’t exist! And then my boss started singing to me and his eyes were blue!”

“And? Blue is a normal iris colour…”

“He has brown eyes! And he wears glasses so they can’t be his prescription contacts!”

“Okay, okay, I’m going to get you a black coffee…” Emma said, pulling her hands away from Paul and going to make his coffee. Paul started frantically repeating the word ‘no’ causing Bill to place his hand on Paul’s shoulder. As a joke, it seemed, Ted had walked forward and put a dollar in the tip jar, most likely to frighten Paul more. The two girls from the back walked out.

“ _Emma, tip!”_ They hummed in sync. Ted grabbed Paul’s wrist and pulled him aside.

“Now this is a flash mob.” He said, taking a seat, watching Paul’s eyes widen at the sight of the girls beginning to dance. He began to stim harder and tap his leg more anxiously. It seemed like an eternity before Emma stopped dancing and huffed, moving back behind the counter. But Zoey and Nora kept dancing. Only then did Paul’s anxiety spike more. From the corner of his eye, he noticed the man in the trench coat rush out the store, followed by Gary Goldstein, the infamous lawyer in Hatchetfield.

“What’s going on?” Ted and Emma asked in sync as Nora and Zoey stopped dancing, placing their hands on the hip. Nora smiled wider.

“This is a fucking joke…” Emma said and looked at them both. “What was that? A whole other A-section? When did you guys learn this?” She threw her arms up in defeat before tugging on her apron, throwing it to the floor. “You know what? The entire time I’ve been here, I’ve been excluded, and this applies to this fucking dance as well. I quit.”

“You can’t quit, Emma!” Her coworkers said in sync. Emma scoffed.

“I sure as hell can. Because I got this job to serve coffee and cold shitty pastries. If I wanted to be in a musical, I’d be in a damn musical! And I did want to be in a damn musical in high school where I was in Brigadoon, Zoey, and I _fuckin’_ killed it! I came here to make ends meet while I worked through community college, and I can do that just as easily down the street at Starbucks! At least _there_ I know I’ll be treated like part of a team!”

“You can be a part of a team. Everyone here is!” They said in sync.

“This is…this is fucking creepy…” Emma laughed nervously as they tilted their heads.

“The song is so simple! We’ll teach it to you! Why _everyone_ here will be singing it soon!”

“What are you talking about?!” She cried out, looking at them, feeling an unfamiliar feeling of distress rise as the customers in the store, aside from Paul and his friends, started convulsing, some holding their necks, some clutching their chests, but they all ended up on a similar state on the floor.

“They’ve all had their coffee. Their apotheosis will be upon them at any moment.” They grinned, and Emma saw their teeth, blue stained. Emma’s eyes widened and she ran to the coffee jug, pulling out blue slime that hadn’t been there before.

“What the _fuck?!”_ She exclaimed as the song started up again.

“ _Get your cup of poisoned coffee! Your toxic cup of Joey. We’ll make a twisted cup of java, mocha latte, with the goo for you Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!”_ The two baristas sang, chasing Emma around the small store, but Emma ended up in Paul’s arms.

 _“Hey Mr Business, how do ya, how do ya, how do ya do?!”_ The rest of the store began to sing as well as Zoey and Nora, who were pointing directly towards Paul.

“They’re singing! Why are they all singing?!” She screeched and Paul held her closer, almost protectively.

“We need to run, Emma. Don’t hold back, just run!” Paul said, and Emma nodded, immediately heading to go and grab her jacket from the backroom, which was the safest entrance, Paul and his friends following.

“ _We’ll make a double for you!”_ Zoey’s voice sang out, echoing around the nearly-empty back room of Beanies. Emma grabbed her jacket and they were gone.

* * *

“Micah!”

“Down the street from the left, yes.” Micah said, talking to himself, pulling his phone out of his pocket and loading Schaffer’s contact.

“Micah!”

“What?!” He snapped and looked at him, rage bubbling in his eyes. Gary seemed to shut himself up, almost surprised that Micah had turned around. Micah shook his head. “So you follow me down the block from Beanies, calling my name all the while, and when I finally turn to look at you, you shut yourself up. What do you want from me?!”

“I wanted to say-“

“That you’re sorry?!” Micah found his eyebrow raising again. “Then I suggest you shut the fuck up, because I’m not accepting an apology if it comes from you. You hurt me, you crashed me down, I had to lie to my parents about who I was because you knew about my circumstance and yet you were too damn fucking selfish to think about me! Your boyfriend! Nope, correction, ex-boyfriend.” He said and looked at him. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ll be making do and contributing to this world instead of following their ex around Hatchetfield.” He dropped the coffee, well “coffee” which was blue goop, he’d checked, into the trash can, and rang Schaffer.

“ _Icacks!”_ She shouted on the other side of the line.

“The one and only.” He said, holding his phone to his ear and striding away. “Listen, I need to ask you a favour.”

“ _I don’t know if you’re aware, but we’re currently in the middle of a crises-“_

“Allow me to contribute my knowledge of the world to you, and let me come and help.”

“ _Are you insane? You have no training, you have no physical capabilities regarding this scenario!”_

“Well, yeah, but unfortunately for me, I’m related to my brother. Who’s dead. And we share the same mind, my parents kept telling me-listen. I’m no field agent, but I’m smart. I can work on radio, or something, I’m quick. Let me help.”

“ _Stay on the line.”_ She ordered, leaving Micah to listen to her shouting, which had been muffled. “ _General McNamara says, and I quote, ‘get your ass to the precinct under the twenty minute mark or he’ll kill you himself.”_

“Received.” He smiled. “I’ll be there. Don’t you worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the apotheosis is one of my favourite things to write and A A AA paulkins rights


	11. Show Me Your Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A direct continuation from the past chapter featuring Show Me Your Hands, everyone agreeing with the term of 'ACAB' and Micah and John are now in the same room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD YOU I'D BE BACK FOR JULY!!! Anyway, to support the BLM movement, plz understand that the trigger warning for this chapter is simply cops. be mindful, keep fighting, i believe in u
> 
> \--
> 
> will i post again in july or are we waiting until august? at this point, nobody knows

“Can we do a headcount?!” Paul asked, distressed as he looked around, but at the speed he was running combined with his mildly blurred vision, he wasn’t doing a too good of a job.

“A headcount? Paul, are you fucking _insane?!”_ Ted asked as he ran beside, slightly behind, staying with Charlotte.

“I’m just concerned! I want to know if everyone got out of Beanies alright!”

“Well, we did, okay, buddy? We did!” Emma shouted as she sped ahead in the lead. She pointed ahead all of a sudden to an alleyway with trash cans. “Oh shit! Oh fuck, okay, that way!” She said, and everyone followed her. Emma crouched on the floor, swallowing her spit, a hand on her chest. “Oh my god! Oh my god, what the fuck _was_ that?!”

“I told you it was scarier than it sounds!” Paul said as he took his place, crouching down beside Emma. “I told you they were singing! I told you they were dancing! I told you it was scary!”

“You were right, oh fuck, you were right, okay.” Emma said, running her hand through her hair. “Shit, shit, oh shit we’re all gonna die.”

“No, Emma, Emma, shh, it’s alright, okay?”

“Okay?! Okay?! Are you out of your _fucking_ mind, Paul?!” Ted asked as he assisted Charlotte in crouching down on the floor.

“Well, at least Paul’s _trying_ to stay optimistic!” Bill huffed as he sat down on the ground.

“Yeah, well, I’m agreeing with Erika.”

“Emma,” she rolled her eyes as she leaned against the wall of the alley.

“Gesundheit,” Ted raised his hands up in surrender, letting go of Charlotte. “So what in _fuck’s_ name are we supposed to do? Where can we go, who are we supposed to turn to?”

“Well, how am I supposed to know?! I’m just an average guy who doesn’t deal well with conflict!” Paul said as he tore his eyes away from Emma, tucking his legs up to his chest.

“So you just dragged us out of the office with absolutely no plans whatsoever?!” Ted shouted at Paul, making Paul flinch, hitting his fists together.

“It isn’t my fault, I’m trying to figure things out, and I’m just _really_ stressed right now!” Paul said. Nothing was getting done.

“Right, right, okay. Question, who are these people?” Emma asked, folding her arms. “I’m not fully understanding why everyone here today is…here today.”

“Well, uh- that’s Bill. Bill is my best friend. That’s Ted, Ted is an asshole and that is uh-that’s Charlotte. They’re all my coworkers.”

“Okay, okay, so who are _they?”_ Emma asked, gesturing to three other people that were sauntering down the alleyway.

Paul turned around and his eyes widened, everyone’s eyes shifting over to Charlotte, who smiled as she stood up, rushing toward the tallest cop in the middle of them all. He had light blonde hair, and his eyes were covered with sunglasses. He wore a chief’s hat and a leather jacket as well as the standard uniform. The other two around him looked similar, each with brunette hair with the same glasses as their chief was wearing. These were _cops._

“Oh! Oh, thank God! They’re here! I-I called the cops, I called Sam. He’ll get us out of this! Sam, sweetheart? Sam, baby? Oh, Sam, thank god you’re here! They’ve gone crazy! Everyone’s gone crazy!” Charlotte said, grabbing Sam, the man in the middle’s, hands, only for him to draw them away. He held one hand in a “stop” motion in front of her, another hand on his belt, as they walked around her, circling her. Charlotte whimpered, scared, about to speak, but Sam got there first.

“ _Ma’am, I need you to take a step back. You’re facing the law, not the clerk at The Gap,”_ he started to sing, earning an extremely frightened look from Charlotte. “ _Cause we’re cops, yeah we’re cops, you’d better shape on up.”_

Paul, noticing the singing before Charlotte, who was currently in shock, rushed up to her and held her shoulders. He turned her to face him, his eyes wide and panicked. “You gotta get away from him, Charlotte, he’s one of _them!”_ Before he had the chance to act again, Charlotte was torn away from him, not that he particularly cared, but he was face to face with the infected bastard.

 _“You better empty out all of them pockets,”_ Sam sung, prompting Paul to start taking things out of his pockets, only for his wrist to be hit by the other cop to Sam’s right. _“But don’t empty out all of them pockets!”_ Dumbfounded, Paul started putting his things back _in_ his pockets, as Sam continued to sing. “ _Yeah we’re cops, yeah we’re cops, and we make sense.”_ Using his chance to get away, Paul ran, shaking slightly, back to Emma, finding that Bill, Ted and Charlotte were at the other end of the alley. _“Show me your hands, show_ _me those jazz hands. Get ‘em up or you’ll end up in cuffs! Show me those hands, show me those jazz hands! Or I might be inclined to shoot you up.”_ Sam sung and danced as the other two cops pushed Bill, Ted and Charlotte on to their knees. Ted raised his hands up in surrender.

“My ID is in my back pocket-“ He said, only to be cut off by the taller of the two cops, the one to the right with curly hair.

“ _You go forty in a thirty-five, check your mirror, you’ll find hell has arrived.”_ He sang, mimicking the movements with his hand. The other cop, with longer hair, the smaller of the trio, joined in when they stared to sing _“cause we’re cops, yeah we’re cops, we’re up in your shit!”_

That cop walked away, leaving curly haired cop guarding Bill, Ted and Charlotte, and they walked away towards their chief. _“Kathy lost her cat in a tree,”_ they sang, holding their radio.

 _“Contact Fire, not the HFPD,”_ Sam sang as well, as the three of the cops started singing together.

_“Cause we’re cops, yeah we’re cops!”’_

_“Her cat is dead,”_ the small cop sang, shrugging directly afterwards, as they all started singing together.

_“Show me your hands, show me those jazz hands. Get ‘em up or you’ll end up in cuffs. Show me your hands, show me those jazz hands, or I might be inclined to shoot you-“_

_“Step away from the vehicle, step away from the vehicle. Get back in the vehicle, get back in the vehicle, slowly get out of the vehicle. Slowly get out of the vehicle, do the things I say, I’m a cop.”_ Sam sang through a megaphone that had appeared out of nowhere. Confusion was an emotion being shared by the non-infected around them. As the cops started to overlap their parts, Emma moved closer to Paul, taking comfort in his arms. The other three members of the group had gotten up off the floor and were stood on the other side of the cops. They finished their overlapping, and Sam started to speak again.

“ _9-1-1_ , _emergency call. Got a 4-1-1 at a shopping mall. Better pack your heat utility belt, Any mall rats comin’ in hot, they’ll melt.”_

 _“Sarge, that’s your wife on the 9-1-1,”_ the smaller cop said, holding on to their radio

 _“What that bitch want, Doug?”_ The other one said, looking over to his partner, who was stood on the other side of Sam.

 _“She just wants to snug,”_ the cop, now known as Doug, continued, as they started to dance again.  
  
Sam continued directly afterwards. _“Grab your nine millimetre and a doughnut bucket Want my badge number? Put it in your mouth,”_

 _“And suck it!”_ They finished. Charlotte, now distressed and emotional, rushed to her husband’s side, grabbing his hands.

“Oh, Sam, please stop! I’m your wife, just talk to me, baby!” She was begging with him. He pulled his hands away, reaching up with a shaking hand to remove his glasses, looking at her. His eyes were a bright blue, but Charlotte didn’t seem to notice.  
  
“Charlotte?” He asked, and Charlotte’s face curved into a hopeful smile.

“Sam?” She asked, tempted to take his hands again. Instead, he put his glasses back on and drew his gun out. She screamed and began to run as they started to dance, repeating what appeared to be the chorus. Out of instinct, and out of nowhere, Ted had grabbed a trash can lid and hit Sam over the head with it. It seemed to daze the man as his hat fall along with half of the top of his head, exposing his brain, which was bright blue. It fell out with a _splat_ as Sam hit the ground. Paul grimaced at the sight and held back a dry heave as he could only watch.

Charlotte lifted up Sam’s gun and pointed it at Doug and the other cop. “Oh my God! J-Just get back! Just stay away, leave us alone!” She said, and the cops were soon to take off making some sort of weird noise as Charlotte sniffled. She crouched down beside Sam and her eyes widened. “Oh my God, oh my God! He-his _head_ is open!”

“Well, I had to do something!” Ted threw down his arms to his side, as Charlotte reached down on the ground. 

“Oh! Oh-oh my God! His brain fell out!” She lifted up the bright blue brain, which had wire-like branches coming off of it.

“What?! Well put it back then!” Ted said, clearly frustrated. None of the group liked Sam, having heard about Charlotte’s shitty marriage on several occasions multiple times a week, but this was _Charlotte,_ and Charlotte was different.

“I don’t know how! I’m not a doctor!”

Ted, quickly glancing over at the scene, pointed at the organ in Charlotte’s hands, shaking slightly from the adrenaline wearing off. “Charlotte, look at that! That’s not his brain, it’s blue!” He pointed out, but instead of listening, Charlotte began to get caught up in her own feelings, worrying solely about her husband.

“Well how would you know? You’re not a doctor either!” Charlotte was clearly upset and started to ignore the truth that Ted was spilling. This prompted Ted to groan out in frustration as he stepped away from the scene. Emma, who’d been watching on silently for quite some time, had decided to move out of Paul’s arms. She hesitantly approached the tearful lady on the floor. She crouched down beside her, being forced to listen to her frantic whimpers, claiming that Sam needed to see a doctor. She’d had enough. She had to face the truth. Sam was one of the infected now. She took biology in the community college, she wasn’t _dumb._ Brains were certainly not blue, that was basic human knowledge. She seemed to be the only one there with her head screwed on.

“No, uh, listen, listen. Charlotte-Charlotte, right?” She asked, as politely as possible. She watched as Charlotte jumped under her touch, slowly turning her head to face Emma. “Yes, okay, hello, Charlotte. I’m Emma, and I’m here to knock some _fuckin’_ sense into you.” She was stubborn, and desensitised to everything, which meant she couldn’t sympathise with Charlotte. She felt Charlotte jolt to a tense as her breath hitched. “We have to get out of downtown. Okay? Downtown is _fucked_. The hospital is downtown, we can’t go there because if we do, we’re gonna become one of them.”

“But he needs to see a doctor, he needs to see a doctor, Sam, we’re gonna get you to a doctor!” Charlotte said as she reached forward to the unconscious body of her husband, and Emma rolled her eyes standing up.

She pinched the bridge of her nose as she thought. “What would Hidge do…” she sighed, before it clicked in her mind. “Shit! Um, okay, okay- oh! Oh, okay! Okay! I know where we’re gonna go, I have this like kooky reclusive biology professor, Professor Hidgens! I’m his favourite student ‘cause I bought him groceries once? Anyway, he’s given me free reign of his house! It’s like a panic room! And he has a doctorate, that’s kinda like a doctor, right? He could help your husband, probably. He’s like a…um, a Doomsday…survivalist! Yes, he thinks the world is ending! He’s been preparing for an apocalypse like event for the past 20 years.”

“The apocalypse? Is this what this is? Maybe we should go to a church.” Charlotte nodded to herself, seemingly getting her thoughts in order, but it wasn’t enough for Emma.

“Churches are _not_ going to help you, alright?! I’ve done _enough_ praying in my time to realise it does nothing in disaster scenarios such as this one. Now, we’re _going_ to my professor, and we are getting Sam help.”

“Who put you in charge?” Ted scoffed, folding his arms.

Emma laughed bitterly as she spun on her heel to face him. “I put myself in charge, and you wanna know why?” She didn’t give him chance to speak before beginning to pace in front of him. “Because _I_ am the only one with my head screwed on tight. I have been through things, seen things, lost so many people that this isn’t affecting me at all! Paul’s having a panic attack, Bill’s sorting out Paul, Charlotte’s crying over her dead fuckin’ husband and _you_ are being an asshole! At least I know where we’re going! So, with me now establishing I took charge, we are _going_ to the Professor’s!”

That shut Ted up pretty quickly. He lifted up Sam’s arm, swinging it over his shoulders. He went to lift him up, but a 6 foot muscular cop compared to his scrawny figure was certainly something. He stumbled and looked to Paul and Bill. “Can somebody help me with…him?” He asked, and Bill rushed over, helping him up,

The five of them, with Bill and Ted dragging Sam along the ground behind them. Emma walked over to the squad car and got in the drivers seat, Paul taking his seat beside her in the passengers. Ted looked in the back and bit his lip. “There are three seats back here and I don’t want this bastard to wake back up if we lie him on our laps.”

“Then throw him in the back! I don’t give a fuck about cops, they’re _horrible_ people.” Emma scoffed, and a murmur of agrees came from the group, ignoring Charlotte’s distraught sob. They loaded Sam into the trunk of the car, and Ted placed Sam’s cap, which now contained his exposed brain, back on his head before climbing in the car.

“To the King,” he said, and Emma rolled her eyes.

“His name is Professor Hidgens,” she corrected, and drove away.

* * *

“John, honey, you need to _calm down.”_ Xander laughed softly as he held his husband still.

“I’m sorry, Zee, but I have the physical inability to do so right now. We have the younger brother of my ex boss arriving to help out on comms-“

“ _I’m_ helping out on comms, aren’t I?”

“Oh fuck no, I want you by my side on the field today.”

“What?” He asked and looked at John as he fastened the vest up. “Why?”

“Because….”

“John,” he raised an eyebrow and spun John around. He tilted his chin up, but John avoided eye contact. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You clearly aren’t telling me something. No ‘I want you staying in lockdown in HQ in case you die’ or ‘I don’t want you out on the field today because it’s too dangerous?’ You want me there today?”

“Well-“

“General McNamara, sir, Michael Icacks.” Schaffer said, standing out of the way of the door, allowing the man to walk in. John, once ensuring his vest was secured, stepped forward, hand outstretched.

“General McNamara,” Michael said, taking John’s hand, shaking it firmly. “It is an _honour_ to be working under my brother’s favourite agent.”

“It is my honour to be working with you,” he smiled before he drew his hand away. “Michael, this is Lieutenant Xander Lee, theoretical physicist. He will be on the field with me today.”

“Got it.” Michael said and nodded to Xander, who nodded back.

John turned around and walked back over to Xander, moving Xander’s jacket back over his shoulders. “Lieutenant, we’ll be going out with three other sets of two. We’ll be starting in the centre and making our way toward HQ, understood?”

“Understood, sir.”

“Good man.” He smiled and looked up to Xander, grabbing his face and kissing him softly, ignoring Michael and Felicity in the room. He pulled away, Xander’s eyes frantic, but John shook his head.

“What about _Nick?!”_ He hissed, as if he hadn’t realised they were still married.

“Nick’s infected. If and when we recover him, I’m divorcing him. Or, does this not mean anything?” He held up his ring and Xander sighed.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, now, we’d best be off. Schaffer, escort Mr Icacks to the comms room. Me and the Lieutenant are off.” He said and grabbed Xander’s hand, dragging him out of the room.

Schaffer blinked and, confused, turned to Michael. “Right this way, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB ACAB when ted said fuck sam he meant ACAB
> 
> a reminder!!!: that not all cops are bad, but due to the fact, that in america, if you are a cop, you are supporting a corrupt system which is why all cops fall under the umbrella term of acab. 
> 
> as someone from the UK, where cops are trained to protect the country with the knowledge racism exists here and cops have done shitty things over here too, i also stand with ACAB, bootlegged a picture of the stinky cop from paw patrol out, graffitied it and then stuck it to my window to tell everyone who i am. 
> 
> and again, emma perkins says acab as does everyone else because cops are shitty


	12. Tied Up My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad (tm) make it to Henry's, and Sam tries to seduce Charlotte because he's just as horny as Ted but there is a dIFFERENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i typed up the script. yes, i added and rearranged dialogue to make it my own because the butterfly effect exists-
> 
> tw: mentions of drunk teenagers and s e x , and cops. acab as always- THIS AUTHOR HATES COPS >:(
> 
> i have also never written charted properly in my life, and writing as ted is surprisingly fun, who'd have thought!!! also, the singing is in italics, the underlined italics while singing is putting stress on a word, and my media skills popped off, sorry about that.

They parked the car outside of the bunker after realising they wouldn’t be able to get through the gates, which appeared locked shut. Emma was the first one out of the car, running over to the voice box, clicking on the button, while the others sorted out who was carrying Sam in to the building. She heard static on the other side and sighed a sigh of relief. He was in his house, which was a good sign. “Dammit, Emma, of _course_ he’s gonna be in his fuckin survival bunker in the middle of the apocalypse,” she scoffed to herself, awaiting her professor’s reply.

_“Who is it?!” He shouted from inside._

Emma leaned against the wall, resting her head on her arm, smiling at the realisation that she had _finally_ made it to safety. “Professor Hidgens, it’s-“

_“Don’t lie to me, whoever you are! I’m Professor Hidgens!”_

Flinching and huffing, Emma had to convince herself that it was only her professor, and he couldn’t hurt her. He understood her like nobody else, and he was the only person she trusted _fully_ as of now. “No, no, Professor, it’s me, Emma Perkins? Look, listen man, the whole town’s gone crazy, we’ve got an unconscious cop with us, his brains are fuckin exposed, and I know this is sort of your speciality and- I just didn’t know where else to go, if I’m being honest so please, _please_ let us in.”

Without a second thought, the static cut off and the gates slid open. She rushed up to the front door and pushed it open, going inside. Behind her, Ted followed with his arm wrapped around Charlotte’s shoulder, with Paul and Ted lugging Sam in behind them. It was the feeling of utter relief that managed to sweep over her as she stepped inside and saw her professor, who looked just as old and skittish as usual.

“Thank you, professor, thank you _so_ much.” She said and laughed gently as the others walked in.

“Emma, who _are_ these people you’ve dragged in to my home, exactly?” Hidgens raised an eyebrow, looking at the other four who had just come in the room, minus Sam, who remained unresponsive.

“Ah, right, yes, I probably should have introduced them. That’s Paul, that’s…the other four.”

“Bill, Ted, Charlotte, and Sam,” Paul corrected, shoving Sam back down into the chair, putting the police cap over Sam’s eyes for the sake of it.

“Right,” Hidgens said, eyeing them suspiciously.

Emma shook her head at the professor’s antics. “Listen, professor, we’ve just come from downtown, and everyone, everywhere, they’re-“

“Singing?” Hidgens snapped his head around to look at his student with wide, frantic eyes. “And _dancing!_ Like everyone is trapped in a musical? They want you to join them, and once they get you, you’re part of it?”

“Uh…yeah, how did you know?” Emma asked, crossing her arms tightly against her chest.

“I theorised this exact scenario 30 years ago,” came the professor’s reply.

Paul, who had since been quiet, was now hitting his fists together in a seemingly anxious way, suddenly piped up. “Really?”

“Really,” Hidgens spoke again, turning to face the other four fifths of the group.

“Like…exactly this?”

“Exactly.”

“That the world would become a musical?”

“You’d _better_ believe it.” He said, and the room fell silent, only for the room to be interrupted by Charlotte’s muffled sobs as she moved her head away from Ted’s shoulder, pointing directly at the cop chained to the chair.

“Wait, so _that’s_ what’s wrong with Sam?!” She asked, and in a split second, Hidgens had drew a gun out and pointed it at the rest of the group. Instinctively, he shielded Emma from the rest of them as Ted pulled Charlotte closer to him, Paul and Bill raising their hands in surrender.

“Good God, don’t tell me you brought one of them here,” he snapped, cocking the gun, earning a shrill scream of terror, which then lead to Ted having to calm her down, rubbing her back, starting to whisper to her.

“Not having an affair my ass,” Paul huffed, keeping his hands elevated.

“Alright, alright, everybody, calm down! Providence has bought him to me….” he droned off and looked to the others. “Is he secure?” After looking at nods coming from around the room, including from Emma. “Good, there’s no telling what he could do if he were awake and loose.” A flash of excitement filled his stormy grey eyes as he stepped forward. “I’ve been preparing for this day for decades! And now _all_ of the answers are right in front of me….if only I have the wits to decipher them…” Reaching out with his hand, he dropped the police cap on the ground and prodded at the exposed brain with the back of his gun. After making sure the figure wouldn’t spring to life, he picked up some of the blue goop in his hand. “Now, tell me, Emma. What on Earth does that look like to you?”

Emma, having not expected to be put on the spot, found her brain malfunctioning as she thought hard about what it could possibly. It wasn’t something she’d ever seen in her textbooks, leaving her even more confused than she had been before. She came up with the first logical answer and prayed that it was the correct one. “Oh, God, um…I don’t know, some kind of blue… _shit?”_ She asked, clearly unsure of herself, but after Hidgens clasped his free hand over Emma’s shoulder, his eyes lit up with a new spark she’d never seen before.

“Exactly, Emma! _What the fuck is this shit?!”_ He asked, looking at his student, but she was clueless, just like she as. “I’ll tell you what on Earth it looks like. _Nothing.”_ He looked around the room, maybe for guidance, but whatever he sought for didn’t surface. “You all remember the meteor that crashed into the Starlight Theatre last night? Well, I dare say it carried a deadly cargo, in the form of a contagious pathogen of cosmic origin.”

“Wait a second, Doc, but don’t tell me you’re talkin about…aliens?” Bill asked, unsure of whether he was stretching for something too crazy or not. The look on the professor’s face confirmed that what he was implying was not too insane.

“Well, why is that so hard to believe?” He asked, not just to Bill, but to the other members present in the room. “Think of all that we took for granted that was once foretold in the pages of Bradbury and Azimuth. Well, look no further than my robot assistant…Alexa.” A soft ping came from somewhere in the room, but nobody seemed to react. “What was once confined to the realm of science fiction, she is now science face.” After a slightly pause and a semi-excited smile filling his face as he slid his gun back in to his pocket. “Alexa! Dim the lights!” With the command, the lights in the room did, indeed, dim. Hidgens walked back over to the dimmer and twisted it, smiling brightly. “Extraordinary,” he declared as he walked back over, “20 years ago I would have had to have walked all the way to the dimmer!”

As he walked back over, Emma pinched the bridge of her nose, placing her hand on her hop as she sighed.

Hidgens didn’t seem to notice as he continued to talk. “Now, as unbelievable as this, or the outbreak may seem, the question is no longer ‘can this be happening,’ but how do we stop it? I’ve got to get this blue,” he made a gesture towards Emma, “ _shit_ beneath a microscope to find out what makes these bastards tick!”

“Um, professor,” Paul interrupted, stopping the professor, who still had the goop in his hand. “Do you have anything to drink? This is a _lot_ to take in…”

Hidgens sighed, spinning sharply on the back of his heel, turning to face Paul. “Young man, for the past 27 years, I have been stockpiling bare essentials needs for human survival in the events of a world ending cataclysm!” There was a pause before his stern expression broke out in to a grin. “You bet your ass we’ve got booze, now come with me!” He said and gestured for everyone to follow. Everyone did…aside from Ted and Charlotte.

Charlotte stayed, reaching out to Sam, but hesitant to touch him. “Oh Sam, baby…”

“Hey, Charlotte,” Ted said and looked at his coworker. Considering his own feelings towards her, he knew he had to take her side, which wasn’t much of a challenge seeing as he already had. He offered a kind smile towards the grieving woman as she turned towards him. “Listen, I know right now isn’t an ideal situation considering the literal apocalypse happening outside, and the fact you just lost your asshole husband, but there are brighter things in life to be worrying about, such as your friends who are probably gettin’ waisted off their asses, and I wanna see if Paul confesses to that shitty barista about his feelings for her. So why don’t we join them?”

“How can you be _thinking_ about something so-so _self-centred_ at a time like this?!” Charlotte asked, remaining close to the chair where Sam was being kept bound. “You can’t even acknowledge how hurt I am by this and only want me to go with you so-so we can _fuck_ or something!”

“No, Char,” he sighed, looking at her, crossing his arms, keeping his voice gentle. “You always come to me after _he,”_ he jabbed a finger towards Sam, “treated you like complete dirt, which is not what you are! Come on, Charlotte, admit it to yourself, he doesn’t love you.”

“But I love him!”

“But he doesn’t care!” He continued to look at her, his eyes soft and understanding. “Those late nights at work are spent with younger girls. Those excuses for cuddle nights are bullshit. The majority of the office has seen _that_ creature with another girl, and none of us told you because we care for you. Dammit, Char, _I_ care for you, yet do you care about all the times I’ve tried to convince you to stay to prevent you getting hurt further?” Ted could only watch as his lover looked away from him. “How I always made sure I got you something on your birthday knowing that Sam forgot _again_ , how I always ensured that you felt lov-“

“Please stop,” she whimpered, her voice shaking as she looked at Sam.

“Charlotte Lowery, I have been there for you ever since you joined CCRP. I’ve always been there to listen to you when you needed someone to talk to, but of course, that’s your therapist’s job, isn’t it?” More silence from the other conscious member in the room. “Maybe you should go back to fucking _him_ if we ever get out of this, and if you so much as dare imply I never cared about you.”

“I never went to counselling for that reason, Ted! You _know_ I wanted to make things work with Sam, you know that! And I did it because I love him-”

“But he doesn’t love you because he’s a scumbag! We’ve been through this!” Ted looked at her, not an ounce of anger in his eyes, but only those filled with defeat. “I’ve been there for you for too long, and I got used to be ignored. You chose a scumbag over a sleazeball and I’ve had to live with the fact you refuse to be happy. I can’t make you choose me over him, but seeing as he’s dead it’d be a pretty good place to start.”

Charlotte made a gesture which resembled that of wiping her tears, but she took slightly longer to look at her hand, which was suspicious on her part. “I want to say my true goodbyes to him.” There was a brief pause before she looked to Ted, her eyes red. “And I want you to stay with me while I do.”

Ted nodded and looked at her. “I’m gonna go get us drinks from the bar, okay?”

“Okay,” she said quietly, and accepted the kiss he planted on her cheek as he walked towards her, before he walked away. She looked towards the door as he left, not seeming to notice the supposedly dead man beside her starting to stir awake.

A wide grin spread on the scumbag’s face as he tilted his head almost mechanically towards his wife and looked directly up at her. “Charlotte?” His voice appeared raspy, though it wasn’t out of fact. However, it still cause Charlotte to jump back out of surprise. She asked his name, questioning whether he was actually awake, and the smile dropped as he shook his head violently. “Where am I? Why am I tied to a _chair?”_ He dragged out the last note, it becoming more melodical.

Charlotte held her hands again, almost trying to stop him, as she’d heard the note he hadn’t tried to hide. “Sam, it’s for your own safety. For yours and mine. You’re not well, Sam.” She said quickly, but he only tilted his head at her again, his eyes wide and his body acting like he was tied up by strings in the same way as a puppet was.

“Charlotte, baby, I need a doctor, I’m hurtin’ _real_ bad.” He smiled again as Charlotte nodded frantically, thinking of a response to his reaction.

“I’ll-I’ll go get the Professor!” She announced, rushing forward, only for Sam to stick his foot out, for her to trip over it, landing harshly on her hands and knees. Still, he acted innocently and looked at her.

“But they left me here to die. Only _you_ can help me, Charlotte. Untie me, and we’ll leave here…together.” He smiled again, his eyes flashing a bright blue, leaving Charlotte stunned on the floor. He started to sing, which only left Charlotte frozen more on the floor.

“ _I’m tied up, Charlotte_ ,” he began, looking directly towards his terrified wife.

“Please, don’t do that.” Charlotte said, forcing herself up and off the floor.

“ _Tied up, with you. You understand me,”_ he smiled, and Charlotte could have sworn she saw a flash of _her_ husband shining through. Charlotte began to soften up until he sang, _“now hand me those keys,”_ to which she hide the keys in her hand, pulling them tighter to her chest, only for him to laugh. “ _God, we were young once. Innocent and fun once,”_ he reminded, and Charlotte couldn’t help but think to the times where they were in high school.

Where he wasn’t such an asshole. Where he spoiled her on dates, where he took time out of his day for her and didn’t ignore her existence. Of course, he hadn’t been perfect back then either, as he got drunk a lot as he was one of the more popular kids, and he’d hurt her back then as well, but still, she’d fallen in love with him and she couldn’t bring herself to face the truth.

 _“And free,”_ Sam continued, doing it to spite her, trying to guilt her into letting him go for his sake and not hers. “ _Let go of this grip on me!”_ With that, he performed a…very seductive gesture towards her, opening his legs wide, looking at her as he sang. “ _You tied up my heart, you tied me down, now break me open, with your love and mercy.”_ He smirked and danced while chained down, looking at Charlotte. “ _Charlotte! You’re breaking my heart, Char! Got my feet to the fire, just let me go, and I’ll love you!”_

No I love you. ‘I’ll love you.’ This wasn’t fair on her, so she told the truth. “I love you too, Sam, but I can _not_ let you go.” By now, she’d covered her eyes, uncomfortable by the fact he was trying to seduce her with his brains exposed… _if_ they were his brains.

“Charlotte, baby, apple of my _eye,”_ he smirked again, looking at her, pouting. “Don’t you _twust me?”_ He asked before he looked away from her, distant.

“ _I’ve effed up, Charlotte. Effed up, with you. All the booze and harlots,”_ he was only telling her information she already knew nothing surprised her. “ _And all the Charlottes.” _A flash of anger crossed her face as she glared at him, but his eyes widened. “ _But they didn’t count!”_ He tried to cover up, but she wasn’t as naïve anymore. She knew the truth. _“They couldn’t break me. You’re the one who caged me, in chains! Please take away my pain!”_

With that, he slid across the room on the chair, making a horrible scratching noise as he left a mark on the floor. “ _Charlotte! Let me hold you again, Char_ ,” and with that, he made sure she sat on his lap by moving her with his leg again. Her palms were grazed, and she wasn’t shocked if her legs would be as well, and she didn’t want to be with her husband right now. _“Just free up my arms, and I’ll give you a foot massage! Charlotte!”_ He called, but Charlotte wasn’t an idiot anymore. She never had been, nor would she ever be. She got up off of his lap and rushed to the door. She knew somebody would have to stay with Sam, and if it was gonna be her, then she’d willingly sacrifice herself so the other’s made it out.

“No, no, no, no, no!” She said and poked her head around the door, looking for Ted. He hadn’t come back up the stairs yet.

“ _Will you ever forgive me? I’ll crawl on my hands and knees, if you untie me, girl! And free up my heart!” _By that point, he’d stood up, his arms still tied to the chair, now swaying his hips to some sort of beat Charlotte couldn’t hear.

“No, no, no! I gotta go get the others, Sam, this is bad!” She opened the door again and called out for help, but no response came. When she looked back up, Sam had staggered to the centre of the room, now stumbling over his own feet as if _he_ was drunk. She couldn’t believe her eyes, not believing a part of his act at all.

 _“Oh fuck, I’m fading fast. I think you better come quick. I really don’t wanna die alone in here. Time to say our goodbyes at the end of the road,”_ he sang, finishing the lyrics off with a sharp cough as he collapsed on to his knees.

Becoming concerned, she began having an internal debate with herself to whether she should go and help or not, but she chose to stay by the door, waiting to see how he’d react if she just…spoke. “Goodbye? No, no, Sam, y-you’ll be alright j-just hold on!” She said, still slightly concerned. She didn’t want to watch Sam die, she didn’t want to watch _anyone_ die!

“ _This body’s not gonna last! The air is cold and thick, I’m losing our last remaining hope for us,”_ he sang, but it sparked something inside of Charlotte.

“You never had any to begin with! You never bothered at counselling, did you?!” She shouted, and it seemed to short circuit his song. He blinked and looked at her, his head still tilting, as he fell silent. “I signed us up for counselling so that we could work on _us_ , so that I could get my husband back, but I was never yours, was I?” She didn’t expect him to reply, considering he was a part of whatever alien hivemind held him hostage. “The drunkenness, the harlots, the younger girls who weren’t me! You never listened to me! So I’m not going to free you! Because you don’t _love me!”_

That seemed to break Sam out of whatever illusion he’d been placed under, and a bright flash filled the room. A smash came from behind Charlotte, and she was pulled against someone’s chest, protected from the light. When the light dimmed, she hesitantly looked up to notice she was in Ted’s arms, and he was looking at Sam.

Charlotte did the same. She looked at her husband, who’s hair was stained a darker brown on top of his head where the blue brain had once been, and his eyes were the same grey they’d been before the incident. He seemed to shake himself off, going to stand, only to stagger back and sit on the chair, which made Ted laugh. He looked around confused as his eyes met Charlotte’s. They didn’t say anything as Sam became alight of Ted and Charlotte’s affair.

Charlotte pulled herself out of Ted’s arms and looked at him. “What do we do?”

Ted finger-gunned towards her and pursed his lips. “First, I gotta clear up the alcohol I smashed on the floor. Secondly of all, how about we drag that bastard down to the professor’s bar and let him run wild with his studies?”

“That-that sounds like a good plan,” Charlotte said and began to smile, despite the situation. “That sounds really good, actually.”

“You still got the keys?” Ted asked, and Charlotte held them up. He nodded and gestured towards Sam.

Charlotte didn’t hesitate to march over to her husband, grabbing his wrists, unlocking the handcuffs, and forcing him up. She cupped his cheek and turned his head to face hers. “I want a divorce.” She said, as Ted grabbed Sam and pulled him away from Charlotte. Ted was grinning at Charlotte, proud, and Charlotte smiled back as she walked towards the bar downstairs, dizzy on pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so let me explain something right now. 
> 
> Something You Pine For - the canon timeline for TGWDLM, so everything that happened before Chapter 1 was canon.   
> The Angel Heaven Sent - *not* the canon timeline for Black Friday  
> The Loudest Become The Strong - a butterfly effect type dimension for TGWDLM, where there are canon aspects, but it isn't the canon timeline, and I won't be speaking about Black Friday yet. 
> 
> anyways i turn 15 in 9 days!!!! Happy August Chapter of TLBTS!!!


	13. The One On The Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bar scene!!! so iconic!!! and everyone embarrasses Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell if there would be any trigger warnings but here is what the chapter features:
> 
> The "kick your head" scene  
> emma's monologue  
> a fight  
> alice and bill's phone call

Charlotte was the first to walk into the bar downstairs and looked at the scene. Bill was sitting on a barstool, Paul and Emma were sat on the floor, and Hidgens was absent. She made herself known with a simple, “hey guys,” but it was enough to bring attention to the room. Paul jumped up off the floor and hugged Charlotte tightly, taking the cat-sweater wearing woman by surprise. “This is very sudden,” she laughed and pulled out of the hug.

“We were all so worried about you, Bill got drunk,” Paul said and looked at her. “Ted went up? Where is he?”

There was a loud thud against the wall, and Charlotte only smiled sweetly. “He’ll be inside in a second.” She walked to the bar and looked at Bill, confused as to why he was mumbling. “Bill? Is everything alright?”

“He said this was a full bar!” He said, loudening his voice. He looked at Charlotte, clearly disturbed. “How am I supposed to make a Shirley Temple without any cherries?!”

“Jesus Christ, Bill!” Ted shouted from outside in the corridor. “It’s the end of the world and you’re gonna get your drink on with a _Shirley fuckin’ Temple?!”_ He appeared at the door seconds after, patting his collar down, sitting at the bar beside Charlotte, reaching over and grabbing a bottle of wine for charlotte, and Jack Daniels for himself.

Bill appeared to be offended by that, looking at Ted. “Well, if it’s as serious as all that, I figured we might need a _designated driver!”_ He huffed, though nobody apart from Charlotte and Ted appeared to notice.

“Bill, man, I’m pretty sure all the cops are dead, or were infected at one point. There’s no way causing a little death and destruction around Hatchetfield is gonna change anything that’s gonna happen to the island in the future, now, is it?” He smiled sarcastically, which only angered Bill more.

“If-if you make _one_ more crack at me, I am gonna…” he stood up, looking at Ted, who spun around to face Bill on the stool. “ _Do_ something to you!”

Ted laughed, placing the bottle in his lap. “Oh yeah, Bill? And what are ya gonna do?”

Bill didn’t think it through very well with the exception that he was drunk, so when he said “I’m gonna kick your head!” it only proved the point. Ted laughed and stood up as well.

“And you’re gonna kick my head?”

With no going back, Bill nodded at Ted’s comment.

“Not my ass,” came Ted’s reply, and Bill said the same thing. Ted took a long sip of the alcohol from the bottle directly before he placed it down on the counter, earning a concerned look from Charlotte. By now, both Emma and Paul had noticed something was going on behind them. “Alright then, Bill! Let’s see it! _Kick my head!_ Come on, karate champ! I wanna see you kick _above your waist,_ alright! Try that _roundhouse_ , show me that sweeping crane kick that your _kung-fu master_ taught you!” He said, with appropriate gestures going along with his word.

“Alright, you two, calm down,” Paul said, trying to negotiate with both of them. “Ted, Bill’s not gonna kick your head.

“That’s a shame, if I’m being honest, Paul. I think it’d be the _best entertainment_ provided here-“

“Look, guys!” Paul sighed, slight frustration on his face. “We came down here to relax, not to kill each other so please…just-“

“Whatever, Paul. Whatever,” Ted sighed and sat beside Charlotte, with Bill moving away.

This gave Paul the chance to sit back on the floor, taking his place back beside Emma, who threw him a sad smile, flicking the rim of the glass of water in front of her. “Why did I come back here,” she asked, turning to face Paul.

Attempting to help, he threw on a semi-helpful tone to his voice along with a smile, gesturing to the glasses in front of them. “To, uh, drink?”

She laughed then, and Paul felt himself melt down in to the ground. It was only an airy chuckle, but to Paul, it meant the world. It always meant the world to him. “I mean back to Hatchetfield. I spent the first 18 years of my life trying to get out of this place and…I came back. I came back after settling in my dream place, which was Guatamala. I should have stayed there and put up with the volcanoes and coatimundis but-“

“Oh, uh, sorry but…what’s a coatimundi?” Paul asked, picking up his own glass of water, taking a sip.

“They’re like a raccoon, they do the same as raccoons and people hate em, but they can’t be as bad as musical singing zombies, _right_?”

Paul chuckled then, looking at her, pushing further to the conversation. “So, I’m assuming coatimundis being ‘up in your shit’ was the primary reason that you came back to the island?”

Emma looked at him with wide eyes, shaking his head. “No, no, Paul.” She smiled gently. “It was uh, it was actually my sister Jane. You see, Jane, _she_ was the good one. Yeah, she had a _Lisa Frank_ binder where she mapped out all of her life when she was a kid. I swear she stuck to it, going bullet point by bullet point. She got her job, she got her husband, she got a house and then she had her kid. But because she was _so_ on top of her game…I became the fuck up.”

“I’m sure you weren’t,”

“Oh no, trust me, I was. I couldn’t keep up with studies like she could, and even through adulthood, she was off doing life and I was…backpacking around. She’d invite me home for the big events, like weddings and baby showers. I always said I’d catch the next one. It was when I got the invitation to her _funeral_ when I realised that…there’d never be another chance.”

“Oh, Emma, I’m so sorry,” Paul said, his voice now sympathetic instead of apologetic.

“It wasn’t like you crashed into her car,” Emma said, placing a smile on her face, though Paul could tell it didn’t mean anything. “But it was weird, always growing up in her shadow, but it was weirder when the light shined on me. So there I was, 30, with no roots anywhere besides Hatchetfield…so I came back. I signed up for community college and decided to do something that’d make my sister proud….I’m studying botany….so I can make a pot farm.”

“Did your sister….did she smoke a lot of pot?” Paul asked, and Emma laughed again.

“No, but you can tell that weed’s gonna be the future in medicine, it’ll be legal nationwide soon, bet ya any money…” her laugh faded as she frowned. “My one goal in life was to avoid dying here in Hatchetfield and…here we are.”

“Well…it could be worse,” Paul said and looked at her, tapping nervously on his own glass. Emma looked at him with pure confusion, staring daggers at him at the same time. “You could be dying in Clivesdale.”

“Fuck Clivesdale!” Emma chanted after inhaling sharply.

“Fuck ‘em!” Paul added, beginning to smile again “But uh, all things considered, I really like Hatchetfield. I’ve been here my whole life, it’s all I’ve ever known. I never wanted to leave…and I still don’t.” A gentle silence fell between them before Emma spoke up. 

“We’re the same age, aren’t we? 31 years old. So how come I never knew you in high school?”

“Oh,” Paul laughed gently and looked at her. “ _I_ went to Sycamore.”

“No shit! Fuckin’ Timberwolves? We hated you guys!”

“And we hated ourselves!” He smiled wide before he realised _that_ conversation was dying out as well. “Didn’t you say, back in Beanies, that you were in Brigadoon in high school?”

“Oh, yeah. I was _Bonnie Jean.”_

“In 2003?”

“The very same.”

“I _saw_ you in Brigadoon.”

“Holy crap! No you didn’t!”

“Yeah! But only because we didn’t have a theatre programme at our school so they bused us over to go see yours. It just so happened to be the first musical I ever saw.”

“Did you like it?”

“No.” Paul said and grinned.

“So, isn’t that your origin story? Like the start of your whole thing?”

“It might be,” he said and looked at her.

“So…I’m the supervillain in your story?”

“Oh, no, no, I don’t think of you at all like that, Emma.”

Emma smiled gently and looked at him. “Paul, listen um-“ but she was cut off by Sam stumbling back in the room, almost drunk. He looked up and his eyes were angry. With a shaking hand, he pointed directly at Ted.

“Get your hands off my _fucking_ wife.” He snarled, and Ted stood up, standing in front of Charlotte to protect her.

“Listen, buddy, she made it clear she wanted a divorce. She’s free, we all are.”

“Yeah? And I’m a fucking cop and I’m gonna throw your ass in general!” He shouted and limped forward, grabbing Ted and throwing him to the floor.

Paul stood up, as did Emma, and moved to beside Bill, and Paul beckoned Charlotte over. She dodged the fight and ran over to Paul, who helped to guard her. “I thought he was infected!” Paul said and looked at Charlotte, who’s eyes were wide with fright. She didn’t have time to speak, as moments later was there a warning shot fired through the room.

Standing at the door was Henry Hidgens, a much larger gun in his arms than the one he’d had earlier in the day. Unfortunately for the ex-infected, the gun was pointed directly at him.

“I have been examining that blue _shit_ for about half an hour now, and it hasn’t taken long for me to decipher that _you_ were no longer human, but part of the alien brew genetically reconstructed from the inside out who wore our skin to fool us! I know Emma and her friends aren’t one of them…but you were infected the last time _I_ checked.”

“Listen, man,” Sam said and looked at Henry, not raising his hands, letting go of Ted’s collar as he scurried away and back to the rest of his friends. “I’m just a cop who just came back from the dead who wants my _wife_ to stop cheating on me with her fucking co-worker and I think what’s going on in Hatchetfield is _bullshit.”_ But he was stopped by Hidgens cocking the gun.

“We’re gonna have a little test to see _who’s_ a musical doppelganger, and who’s still human.” He looked at Sam directly in the eye. “Sing the beginning of Moana!” He demanded, earning a muffled snicker from Ted who had to turn his back.

“I don’t have to do anythi-“

“NOW!” He roared, causing Sam’s eyes to cross with fright and anger as he raised his hand, singing the beginning of Moana extremely out of key, a drunken Bill, not fully understanding the situation, finishing with a rendition of The Circle Of Life. Hidgens sighed and lowered his gun. “That was terrible.” He said, not removing his eyes from Sam. “He’s human, but what he was, their tactic is to hide amongst the human race and, as their numbers grow, they seek revenge for whatever reason that may be, and become violent.” Hidgens went to speak again, but was cut off by a phone ringing.

It turned out to be Bill’s phone who rang. He leaned against the wall, still very intoxicated, as he picked up. “Alice? Oh my god, you’re okay, I’ve never been happier in my _life_ since your mother left me and moved to Clivesdale-“ he was cut off, and there was an upset teenaged girl’s voice on the other side of the line. “You got off the bus to go see Deb? And you’re not in Clivesdale- Alice! If _Deb_ jumped off a bridge, would you follow her-“ he was cut off, and another scared sob filled the room. “Alright, alright Alice, okay, I’m sorry, I get you’re scared. Now talk to me. What’s wrong with Deb?” He listened in and his eyes widened. “Deb’s doing _what_? Alice, you gotta get away from her- no of course this isn’t about me not liking Deb, but right now, you gotta run and hide sweetheart. But tell me where you are and I’m gonna come pick you up.” More silence as he noted down the address in his phone. “Alright, Everything’s gonna be fine, just you remember that.” More silence followed as he took a breath. “I love you too.”

“Who was that, Bill?” Paul asked, stepping away from his friends, heading towards his long time best friend.

“Fuck! I need to sober up! I need some bread and water! I knew we’d need another designated driver!”

“Who was it, Bill?!” Paul asked again, clapping Bill’s shoulder, causing him to look around.

“Dammit, it’s Alice, she’s stuck in Hatchetfield…Dang it, I gotta take the car.”

“ _My_ car?!” Sam piped up, and Ted shushed him immediately.

“We can take the car, where is she, Bill?” Paul added, looking at Bill, who was distressed and panicked.

“She’s in Hatchetfield High, she locked herself in the choir room.”

“Okay, okay, so here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna cut through Pinebrook-“

“What?” He asked his co-worker and friend, and Paul looked at him.

“You’ll cut through Pinebrook, you know? The rich neighbourhood, fancy houses, huge yards? So cut through there, take Evergreen, cut through the park, hop a curb and you’re in the teachers parking lot.”

“Yes!” Emma piped up and walked to Paul’s side. “The back window is always open so the teacher’s can smoke in the staff lounge, just slide in and out, it used to be my old escape route.

“This-this is a _lot_ of directions…” Bill said, but Sam piped up.

“Yeah? But you see, the thing is, with what happened today, the ratios are gonna be that it’s like 90:10 that you’re daughter is gonna be dead. Don’t even bother trying, because you’re gonna end up having the same fate as her.”

“Don’t you dare, Sam!” Ted shouted and looked at the cop. “At least Bill is _actually_ caring about the significant female figure in his family!” He shouted, and Sam rolled his eyes. “At least Bill is putting effort in, at least he is _willing_ to risk his life for his daughter, unlike you who flirts with the baristas at Beanies every single day!”’

“Oh, I can second that,” Emma rolled her eyes and looked at Sam, who kept his stern expression. “So what are we gonna do? Bill is _clearly_ overwhelmed, and it’s not like he’s sober enough to drive.”

“Then I’ll go,” Paul said and looked at him. “I haven’t had any alcohol for a long while, I can drive _and_ I know the shortcut.” He looked at Bill. “If you go alone, you won’t make it back alive. Alice needs her father, and I know that’s your role, but I’m her godfather as well. I want to go with you to get her back.”

“You’d do that for me?” He’d ask, and Paul shrugged.

“It isn’t like you asked me to see Mamma Mia.”

Emma smiled and looked up to them both. “Well, 5 can fit in the cop car!”

“You’re not taking my _fucking_ car!” Sam shouted, and Ted smirked.

“Raise your hand if you want to ignore the law in the midst of the apocalypse!” Ted said and spun on his heel, walking back to the bar to finish off his bottle of alcohol.

“Anyway, as I was saying, 5 can fit in the car, if we haul ass, we can get there and be back in 20 minutes.”

“No, Emma, we can’t risk losing anyone else,” Hidgens said and looked at her. “I also have a theory on how these aliens can be stopped, so I’ll need an extra pair of hands in the lab.” He forced his large, loaded gun in Bill’s arms. “Paul, Bill, godspeed.”

The two men began heading towards the exit before Emma grabbed Paul’s arm, sympathy in her eyes. “Listen, hey, Paul. If those alien bastards get you, they’ll make you sing and dance and _all_ that shit you hate.” She tightened her grip. “So don’t you let ‘em, because we need you back here.”

Paul looked down to Emma and met her eyes. “Emma, there always comes a time in a man’s life where he has to draw a line in the sand and accept his limits. I have said this ever since 2003. I will _never_ be in a _fucking_ musical,” he scoffed, and pulled his arm away from Emma, bravely heading to the outer world yet again.

This mission would either go one of two ways. They’d either make it back alive…or they wouldn’t. But as Paul closed the door to the cop car, heading straight ahead, he knew where his fate lay. He wasn’t giving up, and he wouldn’t let anyone else judge him. He was Paul Matthews, and he was surviving the musical apocalypse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ted is not the villain in these recent chapters. it's sam. acab. time to fucking kill sam. again. lets kill sam and play moana at his funeral.


	14. Why Does It Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are introduced to Alice and her clique! Now, does Alice die, yes or no, place your bets here. 
> 
> also my favourite couple return and save the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SHOOTING.

Alice Simmons was a 17 year old girl, with a 17 year old girlfriend named Deb. After a fight with her father earlier in the day regarding her girlfriend and Grace Chastity, who, by the way, _is_ a nerdy prude, she got off the bus to transport her from her father’s place in Hatchetfield to her mother’s in Clivesdale. To prove him wrong, and to prove to _everyone_ who wronged her, that Deb was one of the nicest, one of the sweetest girls in the world despite her stoner stereotype that she was very proud of, she walked directly off the bus when it arrived at Hatchetfield, and she walked inside.

Alice was _not_ a rebellious girl. She loved her dad more than _anyone_ in the world, well, aside from Deb, so for her to rebel so hard was very out of character, but she was tired of constantly having to follow her father’s, sometimes impossible, rules.

When she got to the school, however, she passed some shrieking students as the alarm bells rang. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked around, only to see a blue haze from down the way. She knew that _couldn’t_ be normal, and followed a small crowd into the room nearest. The choir room.

“Holy _fuck,_ what in god’s name _was_ that?” The small girl, dressed in black and a yellow pinafore asked.

“Well, _Deb_ was singing!” The taller one in a tie-die T-shirt. “And I know for fuckin fact that Deb ain’t got blue eyes.”

“So what? We’re just gonna rely on _Ethan_ to score us weed from now on?” The girl asked, looking towards a pale teen with curled black hair wearing a leather jacket and green plaid around his waist. He held up his hands, with only one of them gloved, in surrender.

“Hey! I got suppliers! And are we just gonna ignore the fuckin fact a musical apocalypse is happenin out there or some shit? Jesus fuckin’ Christ, guys! Deb’s dead! How the fuck are we gonna tell _Alice!”_

“Uh…” Alice said, folding her arms tightly around her waist. At least she knew these people. She wasn’t particularly close to any of them, but at a gamble, she’d say she was closest to Ethan due to Ethan’s girlfriend being Alice’s closest friend. Everyone looked up, and some eyes were filled with relief, others were filled with guilt. “Deb’s… _dead?”_ She asked quietly, her voice beginning to shake. She’d gotten off the bus to go and see Deb…who wasn’t even alive anymore. She could feel her knees go weak and tears fill her eyes as she looked away from them.

Nobody really knew how to comfort a mourning girl aside from Ethan, so all eyes turned to him. He rolled his eyes, flipping off his cousin, Oliver, as he walked over to Alice and gently pulled her in to a hug. “You came here to see Deb, didn’t ya?”

“My dad said that I should be dating Grace Chastity instead of her…I wanted to prove Deb to my dad, and-“

“She can’t do that now, Ally, I’m sorry,” Ethan sighed softly and held her slightly tighter. “Listen, you stay with me and I’ll take ya back to my Uncle’s as soon as I can. He’s got this kinda apocalypse like bunker, he’s been preparing for the last 27 years.”

“Yeah, he’s a fucking lunatic.” One of the other members said, earning a glare from Ethan.

“Look, I’m worried shit about Lex and Hannah right now, and I just hope the caravan park ain’t been hit by whatever this is. But we’ve gotta stick together.”

At that moment, there was a loud bang on the door, that caused Alice to jump out of Ethan’s arms. She looked in the glass and saw Deb’s straggled hair on top of her head as she looked directly at Alice.

“I will _not_ hesitate to fight her so you guys get to safety!” The girl, now known as Bee, as Alice could remember, opened the door, punching Deb directly in the face. Oliver, Ethan’s cousin, called out in protest, only for him to be pulled against the slim figure of the boy holding him.

“Bee,” Danny whispered and shook her head. “I’m goin’ after that,” and just like that, he was gone as well. Ethan backed against the wall, guiding Alice down with him, as he looked at his cousin.

“Ollie, he’s gonna be okay.”

“Stop saying that!” He shouted, tears strolling down his face as Ethan’s phone began to ring.

Ethan looked at it and let go of Alice. “Shit, Lex,” he whispered picking up. He didn’t have time to speak, anger crossing his face. “Okay, Lex, just because _you_ dropped out didn’t mean I have to- and you’re mad at me, okay. Just listen, some weird shit is going on, and I just want- yes I’m gonna come and pick you up! You’re at the trailer, okay, I’ll be there in 10…” there seemed to be a moments hesitation between the two, almost like Ethan was going to add something, but he hung up. He looked at Ollie. “Lex and Hannah are safe _for now._ I’m gonna go to ‘em. Stay safe, Ollie. I’ll be back in 10.” With that, Ethan took off out the room, covering his face with his shirt, Ollie taking off after him. The only other boy in the room looked at Alice, smiling apologetically, before he took off too.

And that was it. Alice was alone. She was going to die alone. Unless…

Her eye caught the table and her eyes widened. _Of course,_ she thought, _Deb had said the drama group were using this room for their performance of some zombie alien thing._ She rushed up and, as quick as she could, “transformed” herself to mimic what she’d seen of Deb, along with eye contacts. She grabbed the rest in case she came across others who needed disguising. Alice Simmons was _not_ dying today, and she certainly wasn’t dying until she apologised to her father.

* * *

The car pulled up to the high school, and Bill, who was very jittery, had had to put the gun in the back, scared he’d fire it. Still, it meant he was the first one out of the car, and the one with the gun in his arms again as Paul got out. “We’ve gotta go get her, Paul. We’ve gotta-“ Bill said rushed, and Paul nodded, shushing him.

“First, we gotta get through that window,” he said and gestured behind him. Stumbling into a run, Bill headed straight for the staff lounge window and pushed it open more. With Paul’s assistance, he made it in, with a few new bruises on his arms and legs, but he made it in. Paul made it in with near-to-no struggle, and hopped in beside Bill. “Wow…this is Hatchetfield High, huh?” He asked, but Bill didn’t seem to care. He was already out of the staff lounge, shouting for his daughter.

Paul chased after him, grabbing his shoulder in the middle of one of the rooms, turning his best friend to look at him. “Bill! Be quiet, be quiet, Bill, okay?” He asked, but with Bill being so distressed, it wasn’t going to be so easy as Paul originally thought.

“We gotta find her, Paul! We gotta find my daughter!” He tried to pull away, but Paul ensured Bill didn’t go too far without him.

“I know, and we will! But you’re gonna need to quiet down a little, alright? This whole school could be crawling with those… _things._ Your screaming may get us killed, and then who’ll be the one to save Alice?” He asked softly, but harsh enough to get his point across.

“Right, right I-I’m sorry Paul but it’s just…she’s _all I have.”_

“I know, just…try and follow me and _stay calm,_ okay?”

“Right.” Bill said as they, no, _Paul_ continued to walk, looking in various rooms to check if it was safe or not to enter to look for Alice. “You know, Paul, she’s a good kid. And she’s smart, and I respect her choices, but…if we’re gonna die, then I won’t get to confess to the church, so I’ll confess now.”

“Bill, there isn’t time for this-“

“But I do _not like Deb!_ She’s _always_ on her phone, and I think-I _know_ Alice can do better! So I told her that! But because I’m a knucklehead, I asked her ‘why don’t you try dating someone at your own school in Clivesdale?’ She didn’t like that, Paul. So _she_ said ‘you just don’t like Deb!’ What was I supposed to do? I didn’t lie! So I asked her ‘why don’t you try dating someone like Grace Chastity?’ and she said ‘no! Grace Chastity is a nerdy prude!’ So I came back and I said, I said ‘1. Date someone like her, 2. That is _not_ a very nice thing to say,’ and then suddenly _I_ was defending Grace Chastity of all people after Alice said I only like Grace Chastity because she’s nice to me in church and….that’s the reason she got off the bus…oh my God! I’m the reason she got off the bus it-it’s my fault!”

Paul shut the door, unsuccessfully finding his goddaughter, as he turned and looked at Bill. “Bill, listen to me, okay? This is _not_ your fault,” he tried to reassure, but then his skin prickled and he knew he was in the wrong. Peering over Bill’s shoulder, a figure came into view dressed in a black skirt, sneakers and white ankle socks, with her favourite shirt and a pink cardigan on. But her clothes were torn and ripped and stained blue… _fuck._

“Yes it is,” the figure hummed, and Bill turned around with no choice but to look at his now _dead_ daughter. “It’s all your fault! That’s the last thought I had before _they_ broke down the door.” Bill backed into Paul as Alice stepped in full view. They were too late, as she took a breath and began to sing.

 _“I’m not your girl anymore. I’m not that tween that you drove here for. I’m not your girl anymore. I overtook her body with an infectious spore.”_ With every lyric, she stepped closer towards both Paul and Bill, and they had no choice but to continue moving further down the hall as her neck jerked in an unnatural way, her eyes never leaving Bill’s. “ _You left me out of your sight for one second and look what happens, nightmare time! It’s worse than you could imagine, not sex and not drugs. Just alien invading minds!”_ She rushed forward, and Paul moved Bill out of the way, but it didn’t stop Alice’s song.

_“No more family vacays together, ‘cause your only daughter’s under the weather. And if you actually paid attention to me, you’d see, I’m not your seed.”_

By now, Bill had come out of semi-shaken state, began to speak again. “Alice, what’s going on?” He asked, but no reply came in speech, but only as a song.

 _“I’m not your angsty teen,”_ she continued, dancing alongside with it.

 _“_ Alice, I’m, I’m here to take you home uh-“ Bill continued, about to grab Alice’s wrist, but Paul pulled him back.

 _“No matter what you believe, the apple’s fallen far from the tree.”_ She suddenly went very quiet, continuing her song after a brief pause neither could hear. “ _It’s not my fault anymore. No more curfews to be late for. It's not my fault anymore. No more being worried and waiting by the door.”_ Her neck jolted again, and she looked at her two father figures. “ _Did you know that I wanted to live with you?”_

Behind them, two of the other girls, one of them being recognised as Deb, but not knowing the other, began to sing, both infected as well. _“Look what happens, nightmare time!”_

Alice took the lead, singing as they hopped in sync. _“And when you needed to fight, you gave her that too!”_

Alice’s supposed friends continued to back her up with the lyrics of, _“aliens invading minds!”_

After, Alice continued to sing, but this time, the lyrics were much more directed at her biological father. _“Did you know mom let Deb sleep over? And you’re right about Deb, she’s a hardcore stoner.”_ She smiled innocently as Bill let out a cry of horror at the statement. _“_ _And if you wonder what led your daughter astray. Well daddy wasn’t here to save me!”_ She shouted and looked at her dad.

“Alice, please! Just let me talk to you, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean it!” Bill pleaded, as Paul began to try and pull him away, but he resisted.

“So, tell me then, dad!” She shouted and looked at her. “ _Why does it hurt to love you? Why am I in pain? Why does it hurt to know you, you let me down again If I turned my insides out, would you even know that I was there? Why does it hurt to love you? Why does it hurt to love?_ ” She stared at her dad as he became more disturbed.

“I can’t do it, Paul. I can’t live in a world without my kid,” he said, cocking the gun.

Concern filled Paul’s mind as he watched, rushing forward. “Bill, whatever you’re thinking, stop.”

“I can’t live knowing I’m the reason they got to them,” Bill said, placing the barrel of the gun against his temple. As this happened, Paul knocked the gun out of Bill’s hold just as Bill pressed the trigger. Simultaneously, Alice had ran forward and the bullet that had been fired hit Alice. With a shrill laugh, Deb and the other girl left the room as Alice clutched her chest, stumbling back.

Bill screamed out and rushed forward, catching his daughter in his arms as her hand came back red. “Alice? Alice sweetie are you with me?”

“I’m sorry…” she looked up to him. “Contact lenses. They’re con-tact lenses, I made up the song, I didn’t mean it.”

“Shh…save your voice,” he whispered.

Paul knew what he had to do. He rushed forward and crouched on the ground beside them both. “Alice, honey, stay awake. Give your father directions to uptown. Bill, take her back to Hidgens’.” He ran a hand through Alice’s hair. “It’ll be alright.”

With her free, shaking hand, Alice pulled out a few sets of contact lenses out of her pocket and passed them to Paul. “I love you, Uncle Paul.”

“I love you too.” He said as he looked at Bill. “Go, now.” Bill didn’t need to await further instructions as he scooped Alice up in his arms, running toward the exit. It left Paul alone in a school he didn’t know where to head. He wanted to check for other kids, for any other old friends he may know, but he didn’t get chance to. After three strides, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his skull, and he fell forward on to his face.

As a cloud of grey smoke cleared, General John McNamara stood armed with his firearm in one hand, taking the cigarette that was clenched between his teeth, tapping the ash off of it. He pressed a button on his earpiece and listened in to what came over the radio.

“ _Paul Matthews, aged 31 years old, born and raised in Hatchetfield, Michigan. 6’1, eyes: blue, hair: brunette, Caucasian. Last reported wearing: a brown blazer, white dress shirt and dress pants with a black tie.”_

“Thank you, Michael Icacks.”

_“It’s my pleasure, General McNamara.”_

Lieutenant Xander Lee came back over, sliding his glasses back in his pocket. He looked at his husband. “Who’s the guy?”

“Paul Matthews, 31, blue eyes.” John spun on his heel and looked at him. “We’re taking him in to another room and giving him an analysis. We _can’t_ be too sure.”

“And what about the other agents? What about your _husband,_ John? Your daughter?”

“I’ve already said, _let them die._ Xander, it’s an alternate universe, and it’s one I want to spend my life with you in, so I wear this ring proud on my left hand, and I follow the laws of the human heart that guide me to you.”

“I fucking hate it when you get poetic.”

“Only because it turns you on and you can’t do anything about it.” John took another drag of the cigarette, exhaling the smoke around him. “Now grab the man and let’s find a clear room. We can’t lose anyone else!”

“And the infected?”

“We’ll come back for them when the survivors are _off_ the island.” He slid his firearm in to his vest and grabbed Xander’s wrist. “Stay safe.”

“I love you, John.”

“I love you too, Xander.” He moved himself closer, his cigarette at a distance, his other hand cupping Xander’s cheek as he kissed him gently for only a few seconds before they pulled away.

“You taste like smoke.”

“You love it, but you’re getting beside the point! Grab Paul and move!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll do you a favour and prevent you from going back to Something You Pine For: No, Alice did not get shot in the first one, and yes, Bill did die. 
> 
> but haha sike bitch it's my timeline, my rules.


	15. A Show Stopping Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people continue to bully sam, paul gets embarrassed and panicked by john and xander, and our characters are finally assembling at one point!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 4983 words long. FoUR tHOusAnd NiNe hUnDrED anD eighTy tHReE wOrDs-
> 
> ships featured:  
> mild paulkins pining  
> mentions of deb/alice  
> lexthan  
> charted  
> henry hidgens x musical theatre  
> ollie x cineplex teen (who remains unnamed lmao plz give me his name)  
> this author x bullying sam
> 
> TW: Half mention of the r slur - warning: I am neurodivergent, and I am *not* saying the word is right, but do not cancel me for it plz and thank you. i am aware of the origins behind the word, i did my research !!!! proceeding::
> 
> any more tws: guns!! and mentions of abuse!!

They found a semi-quarantined area and John grabbed a chair. “There, place him down and wait until he wakes up.” John said and Xander nodded, placing Paul down carefully. Xander looked at John and then back to Paul.

“This isn’t right.”

“What isn’t?” He asked, turning to face his husband, only for Xander to look away.

“Right now, in this timeline, we aren’t married. You’re married to Nick, who’s currently dead, as is your daughter, Eleanor. You’re telling me you want them to stay dead?”

“Xander…” John sighed softly and looked at him. “Listen to me. Okay? This is a different universe. I don’t exactly _want_ them. I want you, I want a family with you.”

“But you _love_ Elle.”

“I have to love her. But it was Nick’s choice to adopt her. I never got the essential time to bond with her. Yes, I know the basics, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t stay cooped up in her room, it isn’t as if she trusts me enough to vent to me or anything. If anything, that’s _Nick.”_ He sighed and held Xander’s hand. “I know you’re worried about everything going on, but we’ll be okay.”

“Will we?” Xander asked. John bit his cheek, peering into Xander’s beautiful brown eyes just for Paul to start stirring awake behind them both.

“We’ll have to see. Grab a chair and inform HQ Matthews is awake.”

“Got it,” Xander said, walking to the other side of the room to grab a chair.

John wasted another breath on the cigarette as he grabbed his own chair, walking over beside the man. He didn’t seem to be moving like the rest of the infected had been…John would risk this, just this once. “Sorry for that knock on the head, son, you can never be too careful. What’s your name?” He asked, Xander sitting on John’s other side.

“Uh, Paul…Matthews,” Paul said, rubbing his eyes before he looked at the two men beside him, jumping awake at the sight of them. It certainly wasn’t normal to see two members of the military sat beside him.

“Good evening, Paul. My name is General John McNamara of the United States Military, and this is my associate and husband Lieutenant Xander Lee, theoretical physicist, and we work for a special unit called P-E-I-P. We call it _peep.”_ He shrugged, only receiving a confused look from the other man.

“PEIP? I’ve never heard of you guys…”

“And you never will, nor have you ever, and you will not mention a _peep_ of this conversation to anyone else.”

“What?” Paul asked confused, still caressing the back of his head as John merely shrugged.

“That was a joke, son.” John clarified, gesturing between him and Xander before inhaling the cigarette fumes again. “ _We,_ being mine and Xander’s team, have the unenviable task of cleaning up messes of a _certain nature.”_ He lengthened the last two words, Xander taking over the speech.

“We’ve dealt with many a situation, and 99% of them have been similar to what is happening here in Hatchetfield today.”

“So, you’re saying stuff like this has happened before?” Paul asked, a form of distress on his face.

“We said _nothing_ of the sort,” Xander added.

“That information is classified,” John finished, sliding backwards on his chair to Paul’s level. “Unfortunately for you, our agents led us to believe the entire population of the island had become infected with the alien contagion, so quite frankly, me and Xander are a little shocked to find a survivor by yourself.” He leaned his arm against Paul’s shoulder, getting closer by the second. “But I’ve got some bad _news_ for you, Paul. Our unit was sent to-“

“Our unit was sent to grab any hopeful survivors remaining and to send them to Clivesdale as a temporary safe space.”

“ _Any_ survivor?” Paul asked, hopefully, unable to see Xander’s lie.

Xander nodded. “We have a base located on the edge of Clivesdale, just on the border between Ashfeld and Citine.”

John shook his head, deciding to go with the lie, rather than against it. “But there is something you’d better hurry up and know about me, _Paul._ I love my country, I do,” he said, puffing on the cigarette as he continued to speak. “But the experiences I’ve accrued throughout my tenure with this organisation have given me a deeper understanding of the cosmos and our place in it. I follow a higher law than any institution could decree and that is the universal truth of love and the strength of the human heart, would you like to do some light reading on the subject?” He went to reach into his pocket, only for Paul, who looked extremely disturbed, to pull away.

“Uh, no, thank you. No, thank you.” He was clearly confused, and there was the undertone of mild disturbance painted there as well. 

John shook his head, looking at Xander for advice, and Xander only lifted an eyebrow. John rolled his eyes, turning to the office employee. “So I’m gonna bend the _rules_ for you, Paul. I have an evac chopper touching down in Oakly Park at 2300 hours. That’s 11 o’clock in the PM, synchronise your time piece with mine.” Paul’s face melted in to relief as he pulled out his phone, muttering to himself. Him getting lost in his own world was rudely interrupted by John, who’d glanced over. Xander had shot him a warning look, that the general had chosen to ignore. “Is that in iPhone”

“Yeah, it’s the 6s, it ha-“ Paul said, beginning to explain, only for the device to be ripped from his hands and thrown across the room by John. Xander pinched the bridge of his nose, tipping back on his chair, unable to stop the scene that was about to unfold.

With all his might, he threw the device across the room, grunting, only satisfied as he heard the rain of glass. “WEAR A WATCH!” He declared, pointing his finger at Paul. “Time is a precious thread in the fabric of the universe! It deserves it’s own tool of _measurement!”_ Shaking his head, he walked back over to the office worker, taking off his watch. _“_ You survive ‘til 2300 hours and there’s a seat on that chopper with your name on it.”

Paul took the watch and placed it on his wrist, still not entirely sure what was going on, or what was supposed to be going on. “Cool!” He said and slowly got up, being mindful of his head before he came to a sudden realisation about someone very close to him. “Oh uh, wa-wait! Wait, General McNamara? Lieutenant Lee? I can’t leave without…Emma.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Xander, who had just stood up, also turned to face Paul, and with a sigh, both him and John spoke in sync with each other. “Who’s Emma, Paul?”

Becoming more awkward, he blushed and looked away. “Uh, a friend of mine,” he said, as if he were explaining to his parents about a ‘study partner’ found in his room.

“Friends don’t move my heart, son,” John reminded.

“Is there a chance at something more?” Xander asked, taking his place beside his husband,

The next time Paul spoke, his voice was hushed, almost embarrassed. “I think so, uh, I’d like there to be…I want there to be.”

“Well, then, you know what that means.” John spoke up after Paul and pulled out his gun, pointing it directly at him. This caused Paul to raise his hands in surrender, and for Xander to huff, folding his arms again. To answer Paul’s worries, John became very blunt with his next answer, which was “I’m authorising you to use my firearm.” He held the gun in a safe position before Xander nudged him.

“Honey? He’s already got one,” he said in a low whisper, making John look up.

Shrugging, he placed the gun back in his vest pocket and pointed at Paul again. “Rescue Emma and get your ass to that chopper in two hours time!”

“Thank you, sir.” Paul didn’t hesitate to start heading for the exit, only for John to keep initiating the conversation. 

“Don’t thank me until we’re both in Clivesdale sharing a cup of _coffee_. Do you like coffee, son?”

The polite thing to do was to turn and speak to the soldier, who was licensed to shoot Paul dead, so that’s what he did. He turned and faced John and Xander with as much confidence as he could manage. “Yes, sir.”

“Do you like _musicals?”_ Xander asked, a teasing tone to his voice, and Paul watched John elbow the physicist in the rib cage.

Unsure if Paul was being made fun of, he found himself stumbling over his words again. “Uh, n-no, not particularly, sir.”

At that, John’s eyes lit up and he saluted to Paul, Paul offering a weak one back. He’d never saluted to a soldier before. “Now that’s a goddamn red blooded American,” the blonde said. Beginning to walk backwards, John then proceeded to point both hands at Paul. “I’ll see you on that chopper!” And with that, both parties went their separate ways.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Hidgens’ bunker, Ted was still on the verge of fighting Sam, and Charlotte was intercepting between both adults, but Hidgens and Emma were in the lab. Holding the blue shit in the conical flask, Hidgens raised it to the light, watching the glitter type particles dance around in the slime. “Remarkable! Simply, remarkable!” He said, gesturing with his hand for Emma to walk closer to his side, giving her a chance to see the specimen too. “So, tell me, Emma, how do you explain an entire race of beings spontaneously bursting into song and dance? How do they all know the lyrics? Th-the choreography?” He forced his eyes away from the flask to his student, who was running a hand through her hair, which she had let down.

Emma had hardly even given thought about looking at the blue shit again, and she certainly hadn’t wanted to be in the lab with her professor. She was worrying about Paul, and Paul’s co-worker, and Paul’s co-worker’s daughter that she didn’t bother to learn the name of because she was irrelevant to her. She curled her lip and shrugged, shutting her eyes, placing her hand on her forehead. “I don’t know, they’re all getting orders from the mothership?” She racked her brain of _some_ bullshit that would have made sense. 

Excitement filled Hidgens’ eyes as he heard one of the correct answers come from Emma. He always knew she was excellent at the subject, and for her to examine an alien specimen pleased him just as much as if she were answering an exam question. “You’re not far off,” he told her, in his low voice, that seemed to have changed since he was in capacity with the alien genetical blue _shit._ “What we’re dealing with here is a collective consciousness. On one level, they are individuals, but on another, they are all appendages of a much larger organism all connected by a central brain.”

Disgusted and partially confused by the explanation her professor was offering, she looked up to him, not noticing any changes _just_ yet. “And the brain came down in the meteor?” She asked in her same bored voice.

“Or, it _is_ the meteor.” A grin flashed on Hidgens’ face as he “booped” Emma’s nose. He then disappeared to the corner of the room, opening a drawer, setting the flask on the side.

Emma shook her head, continuing to talk while not looking up. “Okay? Okay, and so it wants to kill us all so it can resurrect us as part of it’s shitty musical?”

“That’s one way of putting it.” He turned his head around momentarily to face Emma before continuing to rummage through his drawers. “You could also say it’s…uniting us in one common purpose. Think! Emma, this entity were to spread to the entire planet, why…it could achieve what over 50,000 years of human civilisation never could. World peace.”

“Okay…” _Now_ she was beginning to get freaked out on a certain level. “But… how do we stop it?”

“Yes, of course, stop it.”

If Emma didn’t know any better, she’d have said Hidgens had sounded defeated in a way, so she continued to express her theory. “Okay, um, alright, alright, So this all started with the meteor, _it_ is the brain, so if we take it out, will all these things just die?” She looked up to Hidgens, who had made his way back across the room, but had one hand behind his back.

“That’s a sound theory, Emma. Which is why it must never leave this room.”

She didn’t have time to react before she felt a sharp _prick_ in her neck and some sort of cold liquid being injected into it. She tried to call out for help, but found herself too drowsy and too faint to do so.

* * *

She couldn’t tell you when she came to again, but when she did, she noticed that her, Charlotte, Sam and Ted were all tied up beside her. No Paul, no Paul’s co-worker, and no young teenage girl either. _Fuck._ She kicked Ted’s leg, considering he was the man closest to her, and hissed harshly as he came to. This set off a chain reaction as Charlotte and Sam came to as well.

“Oh, for fucks sake! What is it with me and being handcuffed to chairs today?!” Sam growled as he looked around, both Charlotte and Ted too disorientated to understand the entire situation as they continued to come to, their heads lolling on their shoulders.

From the door, the figure of Henry Hidgens seemed to waltz in, and there was an eery glow that followed. “So, you’re finally awake.” His voice was certainly lower than it should have been, almost like he was attempting to mask something, like he was _hiding_ something.

Confused and betrayed, Emma looked at her professor, deciding to be the leading woman in the situation. “Professor Hidgens, what are you _doing?!”_

“Exactly what needs to be done,” came his excuse. He turned his back and looked to the door he’d just came in from. “Alexa,” he asked, following a moment of silence. “Turn off the fences, shut it all down!”

As the mechanics around the house began to grind into gear, Emma heard the frightened whimper of Charlotte from nearby, and the clash of metal against a metal chair, Ted trying to whisper to her, and an angered growl from Emma’s other side, presumably the cop. She had to push down her true feelings, about how she was truly scared, because nobody else in her group were going to defend her.

“No, Professor! The fences are the only things protecting us!” She argued, but he spun around, and only then did she notice the flash of blue in his usually grey eyes, and he was _mad._

“Protecting us from _what,_ Emma? From the end of the world?” He questioned, and Emma went to open her mouth, opting to fall silent. He walked towards her, crouching in front of her, his hands on her legs in a platonic, fatherly way. “What’s protecting us from the nuclear Holocaust? Climate change? Overpopulation? Emma…the world was already doomed. Not by them, but by us. I was trying to save something that could _not_ be saved…until now. But before we can be reborn into a better world, first, we must say our goodbyes.” He stood up and walked over to the wall.

Charlotte cried out, seeming to realise what was going on. Ted continued to try and comfort her, but it wasn’t any use when he was bound to a highly uncomfortable chair which was being used as a method of torture. Emma began trying to negotiate with the professor, and Sam stayed silent. What else was a cop suppose to do when the entire group hated him? Nothing, yet he could at least try.

“Alexa?” Hidgens asked again, a sad chime coming from the shelves in front of the 63 year old. “After all these years in isolation, with you as my one companion I’ve…I’ve come to love you just as much as any woman of flesh and bone.”

“That’s bullshit!” Emma shouted at him. “What about your nephew and your _son?”_ But he ignored her. He’d _never_ ignored her when she’d mentioned his biological family before, as he was always so overprotective. She didn’t like what was happening. He continued to talk, brushing off her presence.

“Which is why it pains me to have to do this. Alexa, initiate self destruct.”

Sam finally had a shot at speaking up as he rolled his eyes, spitting at the professor. “Are you fucking retar-“

“Sam if you dare finish that word, as soon as we are out of handcuffs, I will grab you by the throat, reach into your intestines via your anal passage and rip them out!” Ted growled, glaring at the cop.

Sam sighed, before he looked up to Henry again. “Man, you’re pretty fucking dumb for a professor. It’s an AI, not a _bomb.”_

“It can’t do that, professor.” Emma added, which forced a long and lonely sigh from the man she looked up to. With a sudden burst of anger, threw the Alexa at the wall, and Emma flinched, having to pretend that she didn’t just get a glimpse of her drunken father throwing an empty bottle during one of his alcoholic rages.

Sam seemed to notice though, and looked at her. “You’re pale.”

“Shut the fuck up,” came Emma’s reply, and she saw Sam shrug from the corner of her eye.

Charlotte cried out again, moving as close to Ted as she possibly could, leaning against him. “Please, please, Professor! Please, just let us go!”

Hidgens spun back around, his stormy sky of eyes crackling with fluorescent blue lightning bolts that got stronger as his rage progressed. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Charlotte! Don’t you four see that in order for humanity to survive, it must evolve!”

“Which means killing cops, now I wonder who could be a cop in this room!” Ted said, and watched Sam roll his eyes, not spitting back an insult as he usually would.

“But it isn’t like that! Cops are _not_ what this visitor from the star has bought us. We’ve been offered salvation! We must join them! This is our second chance…” Hidgens explained before falling silent again. He whispered something that, to Emma, sounded like “ _my_ second chance,” but she wasn’t too sure.

She shook her head in disbelief, watching as he acted so…so _alien._ “Professor, think about what you’re _doing!”_ She begged, but he didn’t turn around. 

“Emma, did you know that long before I was a biologist, I had a much truer and deeper passion. Yes…my first love was, and always will be,” he pulled a cloth off of what, until that moment, Emma had only assumed to be a desk. “ _Musical theatre!”_ He declared, standing proudly by his keyboard, and Emma’s eyes widened. He was going to lure the infected to them…

“Oh, _God, no.”_ Emma said, her heart starting to pound as a sweat formed on her forehead. 

“This guy is fucking nuts!” Ted declared, but Sam only smirked, not noticing the dangers in the room.

“I don’t know, I think this is gonna be an excellent show,” he said, shuffling down to act as if he were slumping down, which was difficult with his hands tied behind his back…again.

“After examining that creature you once called, and _still_ call Sam, I made a fascinating discovery.”

Sam’s jaw dropped open, stunned, only for Ted to laugh. “Serves you _right_ you corrupt motherfucker!” Ted shouted, and Sam couldn’t reply. Hidgens ignored them.

“These aliens…they-they possess a highly specialised gland that allows them to communicate through rhythmic frequencies! They’re drawn to _music!_ Like a moth to the flame…” he took a seat down by the keyboard, only for Charlotte to start crying again. Sam rolled his eyes for what _had_ to be the nineteenth time at that point, but everybody was ignoring him by that point. “This is humanity’s eleventh hour…and I’ve prepared something for the occasion.” He said, and ran his hand along the keys, a small flash of glee jumping up in Sam’s eyes. 

_“It’s a show stoppin’ number, a real show stopper! A show stoppin’ number, come on,”_ he sang, beginning to play to a song that was obviously composed and written by the professor himself. Emma could tell, because he was beginning to look like the theatre kids she had to endorse back in high school, and also her shitty theatre kid coworkers that Zoey hired. _“Something to shock ‘em! To bring them a-crawling, a big time box-office draw. With the press and the glamour, we’ll kill the reviews! Spotlight on Mr Ingenue, so fill up your tumblr. Got a show stoppin’ number for you.”_

Emma decided to risk it and to keep pushing. She wasn’t dying in Hatchetfield, and she wasn’t dying without _Paul!_ “Professor, please, you know that if they find us they will kill us!” She continued to plead with him, but he ignored her again, continuing to sing, a beat and some more music coming from inside of the room. Then it dawned upon her. There was a beat and some more instruments that she could hear, accompanying the keyboard he had since left, and nobody was playing them. This was _not_ good.

Hidgens rose from the keyboard in a very dramatic sort of way, swaying over in the room, getting lost in his own music. _“A show stoppin’ number is something you die for! A real catch earwormy tune. An award winning score that seeps in and out of your pores,”_ he sang, shrugging his blazer off in a semi-seductive manner, but whether it was intentional or an order was hard to tell while he was in this state. _“A ditty to make the chorus girls swoon!”_ He threw the blazer off entirely on to the chair he’d previously been sitting on. _“It’ll unify humanity in a thundering chorus, no exits from this Broadway venue. So splash those shiny cymbals, got a show stoppin’ hymnal for you.”_

He looked towards the group and smiled, noticing their distraught faces, aside from Sam, who was _thoroughly_ enjoying the show. “This song's pretty good, huh? I bet you didn't know I was also a composer. In fact, while I've been preparing for the apocalypse I've also been writing my own musical... Do you mind if I give you the pitch?” He asked the last part nervously, ignoring Charlotte’s now-sobs.

As politely as possible, Emma tried to say that they didn’t have time to listen, but _Sam_ couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Yes! Fuckin’ go for it!” He encouraged, and every single non-infected person glared at him, including his wife? Ex-wife? Emma hadn’t bothered to remember.

Jumping with excitement, he began to express his business idea for a musical about his old friends that he went to school with in college. Emma zoned out halfway through and let her mind drift to Paul. Was he okay? Was he _alive?_ She was bought back when the music started up again, a soft pain in her head as her professor took his position in the basement and began to dance.

“ _Business calls I’m up to my ass in shit! What is this business? Markets are crashing and I'm at the edge of my wits! I just can't take it when all I want to do is spend the day with Greg, and Steve, and Stu, and Mark, and Leighton, and Chad.”_ Then, the phone rang and Emma jumped half out of her skin, but everybody else was either too fascinated or panicked to notice.

Walking over, Hidgens lifted the phone and pressed it to his ear, describing every movement that he did. “Ring, ring. The phone rings. I answer it. Oh, hey Greg. I’m swamped. With business. Stocks, bonds, golden parachutes…remember those days on the football field, Greg? Last weekend feels like ages ago…what? Today? After work? On the football field? The old stomping ground, eh Greg? Just you.. and me... and Steve... and Stu... and Mark, and Leighton... and Chad…Five o’clock. I’ll see you then, Greg. I’ll see you then.” Then, unfortunately for the group, the music strummed back up again, and Emma became increasingly more panicked for him.

 _“All I want to do is spend the day with Steve and-.”_ All of a sudden, he cut himself off, beginning to leap around, repeating the lyric of “ _five o’clock can’t come soon enough”_ four times until he finished with “I can’t wait to get home to my boys!”

Again, he took position, beginning to sing. _“A show stoppin' number, a real show stopper!”_

But a loud gunshot bang followed, and everyone’s eyes flew to the doorway where, a leather jacket wearing teen stood beside a smaller teen, who was wearing a denim jacket and a grey striped shirt with old jeans and boots. Accompanying them was a girl, no older than 9, who wore oversized yellow flannel, overalls, and braids. Behind the punk type styled teen was someone slightly smaller, with the same curly brown hair Hidgens had once had in a checkered shirt and suspenders, and stood beside _him_ was a boy in a navy shirt with glasses.

Finishing off the lyric, in the exact same tune, the guy with the gun began to sing, but his voice was mockery if anything. _“And I’m stopping this show with my gun!”_

It threw Hidgens off enough as he looked at the group. His eyes seemed to widen as he noticed the group at the door.

“Hi everybody, I’m Ethan Green, and this is my show-stopping, motherfucking gun. This is my girlfriend Lex Foster, this is Lex’s little sister Hannah, she has autism and will _not_ speak to you. That’s Ollie, aka Oliver Hidgens, and that’s Oliver’s boyfriend.” Ethan turned his head, looking at him. “What the fuck is your name?”

“It’s-“ the boy started to say, but Ethan rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Anyways, Uncle Hidgens! You are _sacrificing_ yourself to a musical apocalypse that’ll solve nothing! You can’t get your friends back because they died 27 years ago to that fucking virus you formed in your lab! And that includes no Chad either! He’s dead, and you need to move on!” Ethan shouted. Not even a moment later, there was the same bright flash in the room that had happened upstairs. Ethan rushed to lift Hannah up to shield her so she didn’t have a meltdown. He and Lex had explained that she had to try and be as quiet and as quick as possible so they could get to safety, which had done the trick for the most part.

When the flash died down, the four who were originally tied to a chair were now uncuffed entirely, and Hidgens was crumpled on the floor. Ethan took charge again, stepping further into the room, covering up the keyboard. He placed the gun on top and crouched beside his uncle. He looked to the adults. “Me, Lex, Hannah and Ollie are gonna stay down here with him. I don’t give a fuck what you guys do, but it’d be wise for someone to keep guard of the front door.”

“On it!” Ted shouted, scooping Charlotte up, earning a slightly distressed squeal as Ted ran out of the room, followed by a _still_ infuriated Sam, mad that someone had claimed the heart of his wife with the knowledge he’d lost it years ago.

Emma stayed down, however, crouching beside Ethan as well. “Emma Perkins, I’m Hidgens’ student.”

“Ethan Green, Hidgens’ nephew.” Ethan said and nodded to her. “What happened here?”

“Uh, so, I was working, and this guy, his name’s Paul, he bursts in with the one who carried the girl away _and_ the girl, as well as another. They’re called Ted and Charlotte, so I’ve learnt. The other absent is called Bill. Anyway, Paul said there was a musical apocalypse, I didn’t think of the implications, and then all of a sudden the cops were singing!”

“Is that why there’s a cop here?”

“Yeah, his name’s Sam, he’s an asshole. So we get here, and we all go down to the bar. It turns out that Sam had been infected, but as soon as he tried to manipulate Charlotte, she defended herself and there was a flash. We bought him down, and we all bullied him, it was really funny.”

“I can only imagine,” Ethan laughed as he helped sit his uncle up.

“Then Bill gets a call from his daughter, I’ve forgot her name, but she’s really scared because she went to see her girlfriend in Hatchetfield High and-“

“Alice? Alice Simmons?”

“I think so, you know her?”

“Me and a few other friends were in the choir room together when the entire thing started.”

“Yes! Okay, so Alice right? And Bill and Paul left together and they haven’t come back since. Ted continued to bully Sam, and then we all got drugged by _your_ uncle, and we all ended up here!”

“Cool, okay, so my uncle got infected right? And I broke him out of the spell. If that ain’t badass, I don’t know what is. Lex, tell this story at our wedding.”

“I will, don’t worry, babe.” Lex, the other teen, said, clearly bored and not paying attention.

Emma went to speak again, but she heard some commotion upstairs. She nodded politely to Ethan, excusing herself and ran up the stairs. She could see a girl in a pink cardigan lay on the couch, pale and unconscious, with two men stood by her, one of them being someone she’d been wanting to see since he left.

“ _Paul.”_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me on my main insta: yes and i am simp for xander lee  
> me on what's supposed to be my personal insta: give ethan green a gun and fucking D I E 
> 
> also how r u enjoying the august streak of the book? are you enjoying it yes no? well i am.
> 
> and wait for black friday to hit, it'll be wiLd


	16. The Final Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we remeet with nicholas johnson and someone else, john mcnamara says acab, more characters are added!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love bullying sam it's amazing
> 
> mentions of surgery, hospitals, and bill's s****de attempt from the past chapter (?)
> 
> also!! the second scene takes a lot of pre-written things from my other mcnamander oneshot called What You Own, which is a songfic based on the song of the same name from RENT, and it's john's downfall in the middle of the apotheosis. And i like using sibilance so fuck u

Reasonably, at his name, Paul spun around. Relief crossed his face and he ran forward, wrapping Emma up in a hug. She could have cried right then and there as she hugged him back, taking in the fact that he was there and he’d made it. “You’re back,” she ended up whispering, and he nodded.

“Listen, uh, do you know if there’s a medical kit around here, anywhere? My goddaughter got shot.”

“What?” Emma asked, pulling out of the hug, looking at the girl, assuming that she was Alice, and her eyes widened. “ _Fuck_ Paul! It’s a miracle she isn’t dead!”

“I know!” Paul said, walking back over, pushing through the “crowd” and crouched down beside his goddaughter, taking her hand, his thumb placed on her wrist.

Emma came back, distributing orders. “Sam, Charlotte, Ted, go back down to Hidgens. I need this space.” She waited anxiously for the three to leave before she tore open the girl’s cardigan, carefully removing her shirt. She rolled Alice over and was relieved to see another wound on her back. “When did she get shot?” She asked, and Bill only replied with drunken mumbles.

“Twenty minutes ago.”

“Right. So, she’s okay, and she just needs to be stitched up for now…I think. She’ll need a lot of rest, and a blood transfusion, but hey! We don’t have any blood lying around!” Emma threaded the needle and numbed the area with the things she found in the kit. Yes, it wasn’t ideal, but the hospital was downtown, and they couldn’t risk anything right now. Not looking up at Paul, she began to stitch the wounds up with a steady hand. “What happened at Hatchetfield High?”

“Okay, okay, so we got there and- and there was just this blue haze _everywhere._ So we get to this one area, and I’m telling Bill to calm down and then Alice comes out and she starts singing and-“

“Alice got _infected?!”_ Emma exclaimed, still focused on stitching up the bullet wounds, and was unable to see Paul shake his head.

“No, no she wasn’t. She used makeup the drama kids had left in the choir room to disguise herself. She has blue contact lenses in, by the way, don’t be alarmed when she wakes up… _if_ she wakes up.”

“When,” Emma corrected, and Paul sighed a sigh of relief.

“So Bill get’s really distressed with the knowledge Alice, well, at the time we _thought_ that Alice was dead, so he gets the gun and presses it to his temple, I knock it out of Bill’s hand, but he pulled the trigger and-and we shot Alice! We didn’t mean to but-“

“Paul, it’s okay.”

“But then I tell Bill to grab Alice and go. And as I’m following, I get hit in the back of the head with something. So I pass out, and then I come conscious and there are these two guys from the military!”

“The military? Paul, what the fuck?”

“My thoughts exactly! So they start talking to me right, their names are General John McNamara and Lieutenant Xander Lee and they look like something straight out of The Matrix.”

“They kidnapped you?”

“Not exactly. They said that there’s a helicopter touching down in Oakley Park at 11 tonight which is…in an hour. They also smashed my phone.”

“Why?”

“John didn’t like phones, apparently. I’ll just have to get a new one.” He sighed.

“Right, okay, so we’ve gotta get a group of…you, me, Bill, Alice, Ted, Charlotte- about 16 people.”

“ _Sixteen?”_

“Or eight. I can’t be bothered to count. We’ll start heading to Oakley right about…now.” She said and finished stitching Alice up. “Hold on, I’ll grab her some clothes. It’s getting cold,” she explained, rushing out the room, returning with a hoodie that was Alice’s size. “Just be careful carrying her. I’ll go tell the others.”

As Emma scurried back out of the room, Paul was left with dressing Alice again. He carefully lifted her up as Emma returned with the rest of them. “That is…a lot of people.” He mumbled to himself, one of the teens seemingly very distraught by the scene of Alice in Paul’s arms.

“Right, Paul,” Emma said, gesturing to the new people. “Lex Foster, Hannah Foster, Ethan Green, Oliver Hidgens, and- what the _fuck_ is your name?”

“It’s-“

“We don’t have time for this shit. Let’s huff it. We’ll steal cars. We don’t have time to worry about the law.”

“I’m a cop-“

“Shut the fuck _up_ Sam!” A series of voices said in unison, glaring at him. Finally realising he could do nothing, he raised his hands up.

Paul, shaking his head, took the lead, rushing out the room to the cop car, looking at the group, “Right! So, if we can get me, Charlotte, Bill, Emma, Ted and Alice in this car, Ethan, Lex, Hannah in that car and Hidgens, Ollie, and, I’m so sorry, what is your name? I’m not going to cut you off.”

The teen in navy took a breath and exhaled, smiling gently. “Lucas. Lucas Andrews.”

“Right. So we’ll have Lucas, Ollie and Hidgens in the third car. You guys are following me. Bill, sit Alice on your lap-“

“And what about me?” Sam asked, offended.

Paul spun on his foot and looked at him. “Sorry, I forgot about you. You can go on your own, I guess.”

“Cars are five seaters most of the time, though?” He asked, and Paul shrugged. He got in to the drivers seat of the cop car, followed by the rest of the group. “Are we ready?”

“Never been readier,” Ted said, slinging an arm around Charlotte, flipping Sam off as they started the car and drove away.

* * *

On the other side of town, in the midst of Oakley Park, there was a swirling sea of songs that soon stopped the safety of the small town of Hatchetfield, and the source of said song was located to the south of them. Two men were stood in the midst of the park, guns out, pressed back to back with each other, spinning in a slow circle to ensure they didn’t miss anything. A heavy cloud of fog had already began to envelope the community area, meaning the two men couldn’t see anything but a blue-grey cloud.

The smaller of the two exhaled, tilting his head upwards to rest in the crook of the other man’s neck. There was a lingering feeling of guilt sitting on his chest as well as the slight feeling of terror that came with it. He closed his eyes, pressing himself further into the other man, as he spoke. “So this is it. This is the end of Hatchetfield like it was always destined to be,” he found himself saying. There was a soft rising and falling of the other man’s shoulders as he chuckled lazily.

“I guess so. This is where all our hard work payed off, and the town’s coming down. It’s almost a shame.”

It was the smaller one’s turn to laugh now. “To think just hours ago we were safe. Now we’re in the middle of the apocalypse.”

The taller nodded. “I guess this is what we signed up for.” Silence fell between the two, before he spoke again. “What are you thinking about, John?”

“About what’s going to happen if we don’t make it out,” John admitted. “Our legacy, PEIP…the rest of the team are going to melt into mayhem without their General.” He chuckled again, but anxiety seeped through.

“Not about the logical thing. There’s something bothering you, isn’t there?” Xander asked, not turning to face his husband, though something in him was begging him to do so.

John sighed. “There’s a reason I invited you out on the mission with me today…”

“I knew it!” Xander said and laughed. “I knew it-“

“Because I wanted you by my side _when_ I died.”

That soon stopped Xander’s laughter and he spun around, looking at his husband. “What do you _mean?”_

“I die, Xander. I get infected, and while infected, I get shot in the shoulder. PEIP eliminate me without second hesitation. Do _not_ let them kill me.”

“I’m not going to let you die at all,” Xander said, stunned, taking John’s hands. “But what do I need to do?” He looked into John’s eyes, and John bit the inside of his cheek, looking from Xander’s eyes to just over his shoulder. He saw a silhouette of someone in the fog and his eyes widened. He didn’t speak as he pulled himself in front of Xander, bracing himself for impact. No pain came, and John looked down to see his bulletproof vest had done the job, for once. “Stop playing hero, John.” Xander said and grabbed John’s wrist, spinning him back to face him, pulling him in to a deep kiss as the person _or_ the infected member stepped forward.

When they pulled away, John opened his eyes and looked at him, hearing a shrill “what the _fuck!”_ come from beside him. His eyes widened more and he took Xander’s hand in his, slowly turning his head to see a young girl, aged 18, wearing a white shirt with small green stripes, black jeans, black shoes and a leather jacket. Her hair was half done up and she had s lit in her eyebrow.

“She’s not infected, is she?”

“Nope.” John sighed, tempted to light a cigarette. “That also means Nick isn’t either.”

“It’s my _birthday_ , the apocalypse starts, I try to find you _everywhere_ and when I finally do, you’re kissing some other guy, dad!” The girl stormed forward, grabbing the sleeves of her fathers shirt, pulling him forward.

“Eleanor, I am going to ask you once. Let me go, and I’ll explain.”

“Just wait until papa gets here! He’s gonna wreck your fucking ass!”

“Not before my actual husband wrecks his,” John sighed, pushing Elle off of him.

“ _WHAT!”_ She screamed as another figure entered the clearing.

“Elle, darling, did you find him?”

“Oh my god.” Xander said, pulling John closer by the waist. “Was this your doing?”

“Of course it wasn’t!” John hissed, looking into Xander’s eyes. “Look at me- Xander, look at me,” John said, cupping his cheek. “He can’t hurt us.”

“Yes, John, he can-“

“John?” The other man asked. “What the _fuck_ are you doing?”

“Boning Lieutenant Lee, papa!” Elle protested, standing firmly beside Nick’s side.

“Is this true?” Nick asked, looking at John.

John rolled his eyes. “As a matter of fact, it is.” He said and raised his hand. “Gifted to me on the….27th September 2020, is that correct, my love?”

“That is correct, John.” Xander said, holding John closer.

“Yes. 2020. So if you notice, you don’t have a wedding ring.” He said and smiled sarcastically. “I’m not your dad, Elle. And I am _not_ your husband.”

“What?!” Both Elle and Nick said in shock, but a call came in over the radio.

_“General McNamara, the helicopter will be touching down in Oakley Park now.”_

“Understood, Icacks.” John said, clicking the button on his radio, listening in to the helicopter blades. “Thank God.” He looked at Xander. “Are you ready to get out of here?”

“More than ready. But what about Paul?” He asked, ignoring Elle and Nick.

“Well-“

“Guys!” The soft voice of Paul Matthews echoed through the clearing as the fog began to clear, showing the group Paul had bought with him. “General McNamara, Lieutenant Lee, we’ve got important information from Hidgens about the apothe-“

“Apotheosis.” A female voice spoke, standing beside Paul, a significant amount shorter than the office occupant.

“Right.” Paul rushed forward as the helicopter landed. He placed his hand on John’s shoulder. “The meteor is the brain. You take out the head, the whole thing goes down. Someone needs to blow up the meteor.” He said and looked between the two agents. “These are the survivors I could find. I’m sorry for bringing more people-“

“Paul, it’s fine. I’ll organise another few sets.” John assured and clicked on the button, speaking to a different agent rather than Michael over the radio. “They’ll be here in ten. Keep your airways covered.”

“John?” Sam asked and looked at the general, who let his eyes roll in the back of his head, hitting his head against Xander’s shoulder.

“I take it back. Xander, shoot me.”

“I won’t be doing that,” Xander said and patted John’s back sympathetically.

“How the _fuck_ do you two know each other?” The smaller girl asked, looking between Sam and John.

“Cousins.” They said in unison.

“Okay, okay, General McNamara, my name’s Emma Perkins, and I need to ask you an important question.”

“Go on.” He said, looking at Emma, everything starting to click in to place.

“Do you support cops?”

“No I do not.”

“Yes! John, in a very platonic manner, I love you.”

“Okay, thank god it’s platonic, because you just said that in front of my husband.” John said, and Xander shrugged. “Paul, who do we have here today? Give us a _full_ list of names.”

“Right, okay, okay, uh-“ Paul said and looked around. “Paul Matthews, Emma Perkins, Bill Simmons, Alice Simmons, Ted Richards, Charlotte Lowery, Sam Lowery, Ethan Green, Lex Foster, Hannah Foster, Oliver Hidgens, Henry Hidgens, Lucas Andrews.”

“Okay, nice to meet you everybody. My name is General John McNamara-Lee, this is my husband Lieutenant Xander Lee-McNamara, theoretical physicist. That’s my ex husband Colonel Nicholas Johnson, and that’s his daughter Eleanor.”

“And we’re Colonel Felicity Schaffer and Michael Icacks!” A set of two voice shouted from the helicopter.

John looked over and smiled wide, running over to his friends, hugging them tightly. “Oh, thank god. We need to organise a division to get other people off the island. Everyone else is dead, so we’re gonna start with the girls so get Emma, Lex, Hannah and Alice on board, Xander’s gonna stay and direct everything. Michael, you’re coming with me.”

“What are we gonna do, sir?” He asked, pulling away, moving his trenchcoat tighter over his body.

“We’re gonna go blow up a fuckin’ meteor.” He smiled, a glint in his eye, as he turned back to the group. “Girls on board first, Xander stay with the group. Paul, follow me! Say your goodbyes, you’re all getting off the island!”

A range of cheers followed through as Schaffer pulled away, saluting to John, hopping back in the helicopter as the girls listed hopped in as well. Xander held John’s shoulders. “Come home to me?”

“I always do,” he said and kissed Xander softly, and only for a short while before he pulled away. “Matthews, Icacks, McNamara, let’s move!” He shouted, and the other two men followed him out of the fog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does ethan still have a gun? who knows at this point
> 
> guys i don't know where this writing streak has come from, should i be concerned?


	17. Let It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they confront the meteor and all it's bullshit etcetera etcetera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw:  
> guns, grenades, injuries.

“Right, Paul. You understand the plan, right?

“Yes, sir.” Paul said, adjusting the belt of grenades around his chest. “You and Mr Icacks are going to remain outside the theatre while I head in and blow up those zombie motherfuckers?”

“That is correct.” John said and nodded firmly, saluting at Paul. “Godspeed.” Paul looked to Michael, who saluted as well, a hopeful look in his eyes. He took another strong breath before turning away from McNamara and Icacks, heading towards the demolished theatre.

So there he was, a young man, around 30, approaching ‘the Old Starlight Theatre’ located on the edge of Hatchetfield. Despite what McNamara and Icacks had told him, Paul _knew_ that it was highly unlikely he’d be able to save the world, yet alone come out alive from this one mission.

It was eery, to see a building so treasured by the Hatchetfield civilians in tatters. It blended easily, _too_ easily, in with the rest of the landscape that surrounded it. It wasn’t supposed to blend in, it was supposed to stand out. It’s bright red and gold features were _not_ supposed to be worn down, and there it was, destroyed like everything else. The building, which was once a grand and lavish building selling out shows, luring in touring companies, was now just as desolate and dismantled as the rest of the island was. Paul, only having seen shows there by force, was still taken aback by the sudden change to the exterior, having expected it to seem different as to the effects that the meteor had had when it crashed last night, but not _that_ drastic. The theatre was a piece of history for the island, and one of the only ways Hatchetfield continued to run. Now it was gone. Everything was gone.

As the initial shock settled, he realised that now was a life or death situation, but there was the certain possibly that it could be both. Exhaling, he pushed open the door, which was hanging off it’s hinges, and set inside to find the source of the problem. He found himself clutching the grenade belt that was strapped across his chest tighter and stopped to take a breath, unable to stop his soft blue eyes from closing. After another exhale, he pried his eyes open, allowing himself to look around. The hardwood floor he stood on was stained blue. The curtains were shredded, as was any furniture. Any poster promoting the upcoming shows were also gone. Hatchetfield was a ghost town, and this proved it. He couldn’t remain in there. The air was heavy with tension, and it glued his airways shut. He had to do this. He had to. His steps became strides until he approached the stage door. He had to pause, overly aware of the beat inside the room in front of him, as he twisted the brass doorknob and stepped inside.

The room was thick with bright blue spores that hovered like ghostly orbs. The smell was nauseating, and he had to stop himself from retching, but couldn’t prevent the tears that gathered in his eyes. He wiped them away and let his eyes focus on the meteor that sat centre stage. It was silver with hints of purple and blue, and also the origin of the virus that killed the island. His heroic exterior dropped as he began to let self doubt creep in. The meteor was so big compared to him, and he only had grenades. He moved his eyes to look at the purple coloured carpet below him, unable to hide his fear from himself. “Why am I doing this,” he asked himself, a sigh on the edge of his voice. He shook his head, wondering why he asked himself the question when he knew the answer, but how could he save something that couldn’t be mended?

It had been Emma’s idea, no _, revelation_ to destroy the meteor. ‘ _You take out the head, the whole thing goes down,’_ that’s what she’d said. He’d only repeated her words, praying that they were true. The plan, as he recited it in his head, slowly stepping towards the stage, seemed flawless. Even with the reassurance this plan would go ahead without a slip up, words couldn’t describe the fright he was experiencing. As he approached the rock consisting of alien nature, he found himself wincing at the sharp scent that surrounded it. The stench, being lemons, Windex and mint, would have been fine if there was only one of the ingredients to smell. The three of them combined was just sickening. Grimacing, he decided he’d blow the thing up and get the hell out of there if he could. Nobody was there with him, which gave him a break seeing as he’d been chased by the infected for the majority of the day, so this task should be easy.

Trembling, he sighed as relief gushed through him. He looked at the rock before him, knowing he’d come out of this either dead or with irreversible injuries. He began to go over the plan again, just to double check, allowing him to soon get lost in thought. As he did, he became unaware of the footsteps that had joined him on the left of the stage.

“We’ve been waiting for you, _Paul.”_

The last word was sung, and his stomach lurched. He spun, breaking out of his chain of thought, his hand flying to the grenade on his chest. Standing in front of him was his distant relative, Gary Goldstein, who appeared to have died by gunshot wound to the head. Pointing a shaky finger at the man, Paul took another sharp breath. “Gary, j-just stay back! I’m not going to hurt you!”

“Watch out, Paul! He might _kick your head!”_ A younger girl, who Paul recognised to be Alice’s girlfriend, Deb, teased, taking stage as well. To the side of her was a woman dressed in the same uniform as Emma had been in, and she took stance as well.

“And that would be a la-dee-da-dah- _dah.”_ She smirked and her teeth were stained blue. Again, Paul grimaced. 

“Deb!” Paul thought for a while, trying to remember who the other person was. “Emma’s boss!”

“That’s right, Paul! All your best friends are here!” Just like that, Mr Davidson sauntered in. “We’re _happy_ now, we got what we wanted!”

“No. Mr Davidson didn’t want to become a mindless alien slave. He wanted to be _choked_ by his wife! While he _jerked off!”_ Paul declared, looking at the others in the room. He went to pluck the grenade off the belt. “Well, I’m going to put a stop to all this.”

As he stopped speaking, the annoying Greenpeace girl walked in, still dressed in the same uniform he’d seen her in that morning. To rub salt in to an open wound, she mocked him by saying “I thought you didn’t _care_ about saving the planet!”

Paul turned to face her, stumbling over his words, becoming more intimidated by the situation. This was _not_ supposed to have happened. “Back off, Greenpeace Girl! I pull this pin and you’re all toast!”

“You wouldn’t do that, Paul!” Emma’s boss said coolly.

“I sure as hell will,” Paul told them all, remaining as strong as possible. 

“And what about _you?_ You’d die too, is _that_ what you want?” His boss flashed him a grin, and blue slime dripped down on to his white dress shirt. Paul knew what he wanted. He wanted to confess his feelings for Emma, to spend forever with her. He wanted to help his goddaughter with her studies, he _wanted_ to be seen as someone other than some guy with autism who worked in an office. He was more than that. But he couldn’t give in now. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“But we think it does, Paul.” Gary smirked, and Paul had to look away from him. 

“And we wanna hear about it.” Deb added the line, placing her hands in front of her, clasping them tightly.

Paul’s boss took another step forward, just out of arm’s reach. “In fact, we think there’s a song in you yet!”

“Not so fucking fast!” A voice shouted from the door. Paul’s eyes bolted from his boss to flailing golden hair in the doorway attached to pale skin, who wore a PEIP standard uniform underneath a floor-length beige trenchcoat. On his shoulder was a huge gun that he was aiming directly toward the office manager. “He’s got backup.”

Paul uttered a sigh of relief as he noticed John come in from behind Michael, examining the scene. The room fell silent with confusion as John whispered something to Michael, and Michael’s face dropped, looking directly at one man, but Paul couldn’t figure out who it was. The general nodded and walked up to the stage, taking his place beside Paul. “Now, ladies and gentlemen, and for anyone in between. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way.”

“It won’t be that _easy, John_.” Someone sang, but soon were silenced when John produced a gun from his vest, “scanning” it over the infected on the stage.

Taking a deep breath, John felt his shoulder twitch and he _knew_ it was because of the spores. If they didn’t end the meteor’s existence there and then, they’d die. “Michael, rain hell, son!” John said, and fired one shot in the air. That seemed to upset the infected as they harmonised a screech, rushing to corner John. John ducked his way out of the crowd, keeping eyes on the infected at all times.

With the meteor sending out a stronger frequency, calling for backup, it wasn’t long before the theatre was becoming packed with more of the infected bastards. John went to run to the other side of the stage, only to feel something pierce his skin on his side. He looked down to see a small shard of glass, and John flinched as he pulled away from the member. He knew if he hadn’t, he’d have died a lot sooner. He ignored the pain, running to the other side of the meteor, shooting a member who came close to him. He saw Michael on the other side of the stage, and he nodded, distributing the orders around.

More bullets rained, and more people fell, but it wasn’t _enough._ John found a member of the infected much taller than him taking another shard of glass and dragging it from the top of his right eyebrow, down across the skin on his eye, and down to his lip. John kicked him away, and shot him dead. His eye didn’t hurt as much as it should have, but he felt the blood trickle down his face.

More infected came at him, grabbing at his hair and his arms, shredding his clothing, and John was succumbing to the pain. He glanced over at Icacks, who seemed heavily distracted by the “best lawyer in Hatchetfield,” and he shook his head. He looked to Paul, unable to shout over the loud screams of the infected, and nodded.

Under the order, Paul uncapped the grenade and threw it at the meteor. There was a louder, more higher pitched screech, and Paul was sent flying backwards. Smoke filled the air again, as did a blinding light.

_It was over._

Allowing the initial shock to wipe over him, he sat himself up, miraculously uninjured. Around him was a sea of now dead bodies, unmoving, and skin stained bright blue. He ran a hand through his hair and looked to General McNamara, who’d propped himself against a wall. Paul looked at him and his eyes widened. “Jesus _fuck_ sir!” He got up and carefully dodged the bodies to get to the lead on the team.

Blood was still trickling down John’s face, and parts of his hair were now red because of this. “I know, I know. Don’t mention it.” He said, his voice breathy. “Take this, call HQ, send for backup. Where’s Icacks?”

“Uh…I don’t know.” Paul said and looked on the stage, unable to see the man. “Not on the stage…maybe he’s backstage? Or-“ A harsh sob coming from the floor of the theatre answered their question. He couldn’t see Michael, but he could hear him, and Paul was devastated. “He’s there. Who will I be speaking to?”

“Most likely Xander, son.” John said, shutting his eyes. “Don’t tell him I’m injured. He’ll freak the fuck out and want to come over. Just tell him they can start to collect the bodies of the dead and work on the cure now.”

“Got it.” Paul stood up, remaining close to John in case he needed him. “Uh, is this HQ?” He asked after clicking the button on the radio.

_“Yes! Yes this is PEIP HQ, this is Lieut. Xander Lee speaking, who am I speaking to?”_

“Paul Matthews, sir. John wanted me to tell you that you can start working on the cure and collecting the dead bodies. Uh, we’re okay, me, Michael and John. But we need to get to Clivesdale-“

_“A van is on the way with medical equipment along with other agents to quarantine the island and to collect the infected.”_

“Okay… sounds good.” He took a breath. “Did the others get to Clivesdale okay?”

_“Unfortunately, sir, the first helicopter featuring Miss Emma Perkins, Miss Lex Foster, Miss Hannah Foster and Miss Alice Simmons piloted by Colonel F. Schaffer had a faulty part in the engine and in result, suffered a semi-fatal crash.”_

“Did…anyone get hurt?”

 _“Miss Perkins did, but she’s being treated at the hospital here in HQ. She suffered a large piece of shrapnel through her leg. She will be monitored closely while she’s here.”_ There was a pause. _“Is John okay?”_

“I think so…” Paul looked back to John, who was even paler. “But he may need a blood transfusion.”

“ _WHAT?!”_

“Haha! Uh, funny story, but the agents have just pulled up so- over.” Paul said, forcing the radio back into John’s vest. He looked at the general. “They are outside.”

“So we’d better move.” John said, opening his eyes, the life slowly draining from them. “Where’s Michael?”

“Still on the floor.”’

“Okay. Help me up.” John said, offering his hand to Paul, who pulled him up. “Just…just take me to him.”

“Okay…” Paul said and helped John off the stage, where the full scene came into view. Michael was holding a dead body of the infected close to him, running his hand through the corpse’s hair. Paul frowned when he noticed it was Gary. “Michael?”

Michael seemed to silence his sobbing, tensing up as he held the corpse of his ex-boyfriend closer to him. He sniffed and let his hair stick to his face. “You saw fucking _nothing.”_

“Michael, it’s okay to grieve if he meant something to you-“

 _“I SAID YOU SAW NOTHING!”_ He roared, and his voice echoed around the theatre.

John, frowning, knowing how hard it was to lose a loved one, looked to the door to see his team come in. He sighed a sigh of relief, and went to step out of Paul’s grip, but due to the lack of blood in his system, he ended up passing out.

Paul blinked and grinned sheepishly, waving at the agents. “Uh- I think we should take Gary as one of the first infected-“

“Your job is done, Mr Matthews. Follow us,” the agent said, clasping her hand over Paul’s shoulder. “Follow us.”

Paul gulped and nodded, following the agent out of the building and to the PEIP officiated car, the JEIP. He sat down and watched as Michael was torn away from the dead body of his relative and forced in the backseat of a car as John was lifted in to the back of another van to be treated separately. Paul wanted to comfort Michael, but found himself speechless. He dropped his eyes to the ground and looked away as the car was kicked into gear, and they left the only place Paul had ever called home.

* * *

John, Michael or Paul hadn’t been allowed to see any of the other survivors for two weeks, for two separate reasons. John had to have stitches on his face, and had to be kept in the medical bay for two weeks to ensure his condition didn’t get worse. There were spores found in his blood that had to be extracted, which only made his healing more complicated. Michael hadn’t wanted to leave Gary’s side as he healed, but was kept in the medical room next door to ensure Michael didn’t get infected either. There was a huge glass window, so Michael could see every movement coming from the lawyer. And Paul? Paul was told to self-quarantine for two weeks. He was given a new phone as an apology from the general, and Paul accepted the offer quickly.

Now the two weeks were up, and they were able to see their loved ones again. But would they take that risk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find out next time on Glee!
> 
> jokes jokes, the next chapter is gonna be filled with fluff i promise.


	18. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our three primary ships reunite!!! it was only inevitable, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paulkins  
> Attorney In A Hurry  
> McNamander.

Lying in the hospital bed for the past two weeks had _not_ been fun. Emma had been informed by her professor that Paul had made it off the island, but hadn’t been able to see her due to quarantining to protect the survivors. That had cheered her up somewhat, and waited out the two weeks, but she was desperate to see him. She wanted to talk to him for ages, basking in his company. She’d missed his dorky personality and how unnaturally tall he was. She got updates from the PEIP agents about how he was doing, and he didn’t become infected in the two weeks where he was in quarantine alone. That news was enough. He’d always been enough.

She hadn’t. She’d never been enough. She asked about her nephew and brother-in-law, Tom and Tim Houston, but the nurses ignored her. They didn’t tell her if they got off the island in time. She lived in worry. Maybe she had no family anymore. Maybe she’d never be able to visit Jane’s grave and leave her daffodils like she always wanted. No more apologising for any mistake she’d made, though Emma knew that she shouldn’t be apologising. No more invites. Nothing.

Nothing until a red-haired nurse came in her ward, and she rolled her eyes. To her, back in high school, Rebecca “Becky” Barnes had been the most flamboyant _bitch_ she’d ever met. She’d been captain of the cheerleading squad nearly as soon as she went to try-outs. Jane had dragged Emma to watch because all of Jane’s friends were there. Emma watched in pain as the cheerleaders flirted with the football team, and it wasn’t long before Becky and Tom got together.

But there she was. Becky Barnes, of all people, tending to her. “So you made it out alive, then.” She said, finding it easy to move her eyes away.

She felt the tension in the room considering Becky took a few seconds too long to reply. “The three of us did, Emma.” She said softly. “I’m only here to tend to your injuries under PEIP orders. I’m sorry about what happened to your older sister, Emma, but I had no say in what happened-“

“Don’t speak about Jane.” She hissed.

She heard Becky take a breath as she lay out the correct equipment on the table. “Your brother-in-law and your nephew escaped as well, by the way. I thought you’d like to know.”

“And how would _you_ know?” Emma questioned and Becky’s shoulders drooped slightly.

“I’m sure Tom will explain when you want to see him.” She said and walked to the door. “Congratulations on making it out alive, I’m sorry for what you went through, but I’m hoping, considering what has happened recently, we are able to put our pasts behind us and look at each other in a new light?”

Emma rolled her eyes deeply, closing them after. “It doesn’t work like that, Becky. You don’t know what I went through, and you can’t tell me to put it behind me. I went years running from it, and I’m stuck in the city opposite Jane’s grave. So until _you_ lose your older sibling, the one you don’t have, then I’ll talk to you.”

Becky bit her lip, nodding. It wasn’t new to her. She’d half expected Emma to be salty towards her. They never particularly got along in high school, but she didn’t like the grudges that came with it. It hurt. I would always hurt, but she couldn’t be a perfect student any more, and she understood life didn’t always go her way. “You have a visitor, Miss Perkins,” she said, and walked out of the room. She stepped into the waiting room, and nodded at Paul, who was sitting on one of the cracked, black leather chairs.

He was up like a rocket, and smiled as a thank you to Becky. He wiped his palms, which were glazed in a layer of sweat, before he approached her room. He flapped his hands slightly as a way to calm his anxiety before he stepped in the room, and his breath was immediately taken aback as he saw her.

She looked just as beautiful as the day he’d seen her. She looked slightly paler due to the bright lighting of the hospital room, but aside from that, everything was the same. The covers were wrapped around her in such a delicate way, and he could see how her brown eyes shone in a mysterious way from the distance he was at.

He’d been offered new clothes, so his uniform was currently in PEIP’s possession, and that was okay with him. They promised he’d get it back, but for now, he was in some sort of soft pants and sneakers, as well as wearing a pale blue hoodie. He knew he looked somewhat like a disaster, but he was comfy.

He shuffled towards the chair that was situated by her bed, and took his seat. He watched as she rolled over after a few moments, and he figured she must have been trying not to let her curiosity get the better of her. As soon as she looked at him, she gasped and he grinned. “Hello!” He said cheerfully, and she sat up straighter, and faster, than she probably should have been.

“Paul oh my _God!”_ She laughed and looked at him, taking in the fact that he was out of quarantine and beside her. She flung her arms around him, and was relieved when he hugged her back. Forgetting about everything, he was still the same guy in the paper-like shirt she’d been pressed against in their hug when he returned from Hatchetfield High, except he was wearing a much softer hoodie that she would gladly steal. “I can’t believe it…you’re back…” She laughed softly and Paul nodded, not pulling away.

“I never developed the virus. I got out of there okay.”

“Oh _shit,_ Paul! You gotta tell me everything!” She pulled away and held his forearms, and watched as he nodded.

“Okay, okay so we get to the Starlight Theatre and it was destroyed completely in tatters, even I was shocked! And we go in, and it was blue everywhere. So I go to the meteor which was centre stage, and I go to blow it up and then infected citizens start showing up-your boss was there!”

“Zoey?”

“The other one.”

“Paul, Nora isn’t my boss.”

“Whatever, I thought she was at the time. So they start to try and kill me-“

“ _What!”_

“I know! And then Michael Icacks comes in and he is _angry._ And John comes in, and John establishes that we do it the easy way or the hard way, and the hive didn’t like that. John got stabbed, John’s body got shredded by the infected pretty much, Michael was okay though, and then John looks at me and he nods, and I uncap the grenade and I blew up the meteor.”

“Were you hurt? Am I touching any injuries?”

“No, no, it’s okay.” He reassured, smiling. “There was this blinding white light, and when it died down, I was uninjured and there were so many corpses on the stage, they were like dead flies.”

“Gross.”

“I know. I had to contact HQ because John would have literally died there and then if he used any more energy, so they told _me_ that you were hurt, and then PEIP came and got us. Uh, Michael was upset and didn’t want to leave Goldstein’s side-“

“As in Gary Goldstein, Attorney At Law?”

“The very same. John was taken in the back of a medical truck, and I just…didn’t know what to do. So I get here and they go ‘you need to stay in quarantine for two weeks, and here’s an apology gift on John McNamara’s behalf.’ So I got a new phone as well!”

“Then I’d best get your phone number before I lose you again, hadn’t I?” Emma asked, and moved her arms away, cupping his cheek. He looked at her confused, but she gently leaned in, pressing her lips to Paul’s, securing them in a kiss. She could feel his shock, and she ran her thumb over his cheek to help him relax. She hadn’t expected him to kiss back, and worried she’d taken it too far, but then he did, and it was the best feeling she’d ever experienced. She pulled away and noticed a soft blush on his face. She giggled and pressed her forehead to his. “Paul Matthews, I’m so glad I just kissed you.”

“I am also very glad you just kissed me,” he said, and smiled as well. “I’ll give you my number as soon as possible.”

“That’s okay with me.” She said and leaned in again, kissing him gently again.

* * *

When Michael had seen Gary, had _heard_ Gary’s voice, his heart dropped. For that entire day, he’d rejected Gary’s apology. Yes, the things Gary had done were inexcusable, but people change, and Micah saw that too late. He’d gone to Gary first, trying to break him out of whatever spell was holding him captive, but Gary ended up dying in his arms. Micah hadn’t wanted to leave Gary’s side, and hadn’t wanted his team to see him so vulnerable, yet that’s exactly what had happened.

The team negotiated with him, and decided that he could stay in the room opposite during Micah’s quarantine so he could keep an eye on Gary too. The first few days were hard. He glowed blue and any word spoken became songs. It became nearly unbearable for Micah to watch, and he forced his eyes away. However, with the doses of the cure Xander was offering around, he slowly became better.

By the fourteenth day, his signing was eliminated entirely, but there was a lot of physical exhaustion following. But on the fourteenth day, with Michael clean of any infection, he was allowed to go and sit beside him today.

The PEIP agents had cleaned his trenchcoat, but he was given it back. So there he was, outside of Gary’s door, nervous as _fuck_ , but he had to do what he had to do. He pushed open the door and sat beside Gary, who’d once been his. He had made him a coffee, like he’d done at Beanies once, as a little gift. He remembered. He rarely forgot.

He brushed his coat out of the way and took a seat, setting the coffee on the table. Gary was facing him, but was currently asleep…or it seemed that way. Taking his chance, Micah brushed Gary’s wild hair out of his eyes. There was a slight burning in his chest as he ran his hands through his still-so-soft hair. He noticed Gary’s classes on the desk beside them, and he couldn’t help but tear up. “Gary Goldstein, what the _fuck_ happened to you?” He whispered, taking one of his hands, kissing the cracked knuckles that belonged to the lawyer.

At the contact, Gary’s eyes flicked open. Even through blurred vision, he could make out Micah’s distinct features. “Micah?” His voice was quiet and scratchy, but still caught Micah’s attention. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m out of quarantine. I figured I’d come and see you.”

“See me? After this morning?”

“It’s been two weeks, since The Apotheosis. You’re cured, but you need rest.”

“I got infected?”

“You did.” Micah said and frowned. “But you’re okay now. Lieutenant Lee cured you.”

“Who’s…Lieutenant Lee?”

“He’s a superstar who’s been unable to see his husband and has had to work constantly under stress while running this precinct. He cured you, Gary.”

Gary looked up at Micah with his eyes, too weak to move properly. “You’re here.”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you.” Micah looked at him. “But I got hurt, and I built up my borders, but I’ve lived for years missing you. But I don’t think it’s wise if we become, well…us. Not for a while.”

“Micah-“

“Respect my decisions when I respected yours.”

There was silence before he nodded. “Alright.”

“But I’ll help you through recovery. I’m not going to leave you. Because I love you, Gary Goldstein, whether you love me back or not. But I suggest you think about if you’re planning on hurting me again before we decide what we’re going to become.”

Gary was slightly shocked at the truth, but he nodded. “That’s fine with me.”

Micah nodded, looking away. Maybe they’d kickstart their relationship again, maybe they wouldn’t. Either way, Micah was too exhausted to care, and wanted everything to return back to being standard and mediocre. 

Recovery sucked, on John’s behalf. Not only did he need surgery to extract the spores from his bloodstream, from the blood he barely still had, but he also needed stitches on his stab wound and on his face. What was worse was he hadn’t seen Xander since he returned, and had had to quarantine for two weeks, like everyone else. He was constantly being monitored by agents, constantly being fed medicine, but he knew that the end result would be worth it, when he could be back in Xander’s arms cuddling in their bed. That was the aim, and John wasn’t stopping his fight until he was back with his beloved.

* * *

Unbeknownst to John, Xander had created the cure that saved his life. Xander didn’t know that John had been infected either. The only information he’d been given, because of family related reasons, was that he needed surgery and he had to quarantine for two weeks after. For that reason, he continued to offer cures around to the infected who needed it. However, when Elle and Nick came in, infected, under John’s rules, he told the medic to let them die, which was cruel, on Xander’s beliefs, but it wasn’t like they were supposed to exist in this timeline.

He also got to know the survivors relatively well. He found out Henry studied Biology, which didn’t go down too well with him, considering Xander thought of Physics as the best science (and he was right) but Henry begged to differ. He found out about Ted, Charlotte and Sam’s love triangle, about how Charlotte truly loved Sam, but also knew Ted would be better for her. It’s why they got divorced. He found out about Bill and Alice and about everything they went through, and he was one of the agents to monitor Alice closely. She was a sweet girl who wanted her girlfriend back, and Xander understood where she was coming from entirely.

Then there were the other set of teens. Oliver Hidgens, who was fretting about his friends. Lucas Andrews, who was Oliver’s boyfriend, who used to work at the Cineplex and didn’t exactly have a good connection with his parents. He learned about Ethan Green, and about how his parents weren’t the richest, and also weren’t the best parents in the world, but his dad had offered him a job at the garage, and that’s where he’d worked for some time. He learned about how much he cared about his girlfriend, Lex Foster, and for Hannah as well. He learned everything about the Foster’s and he pitied them deeply.

Maybe it was why he let the girls stay in their house while John was away. Xander had asked around the precinct for whether their mother had been infected, and word had gotten back that she hadn’t got infected, but she had passed in the frenzy. It left both Hannah and Lex alone, and after everything they’d been through, he didn’t think they deserved to go through any more stress. He did let them stay with him, in the spare rooms, and he knew John wouldn’t mind either. They were special girls.

Lex was 18. She failed her exams, and her GPA had been low. She’d worked at Toy-Zone to support her entire family and dropped out of school to pick up extra shifts. While she’d been at school, she’d stolen the heart of Ethan Green, and had also became the favourite student of Tom Houston. She was extremely close and also extremely protective of her little sister, who was autistic, but also, at the age of nine, had an imaginary friend called Webby who was supposedly a spider from outer space. Xander took it upon himself to look in to it.

Time sped up, and the girls were asleep in their room, and Xander had just gotten home. They both had their own rooms, but while Hannah settled in, she was staying with Lex. He didn’t have any clue that John was seated in the next room. He placed his keys on the rack, as well as his coat, setting his briefcase down by his shoes. He yawned and stretched, rubbing his eyes. He went to flick the living room lights on, only to notice the room was already lit. He furrowed his eyebrows, slightly confused, but figured he’d left them on that morning before he headed to work.

He stepped in, and went to head to the kitchen, but his eyes landed on John, who was sat in his grey dressing gown, his hair tied up neatly in the ponytail he loved. He had his pyjamas on and he was _home._ Any tiredness Xander had felt dissolved as he clasped his hands over his mouth, staggering back slightly. “I’m hallucinating.”

“You’re being dramatic,” John said and looked up at him, pushing himself off the couch.

“I’m definitely hallucinating.”

“Do you need a hug?”

“Please.” His voice cracked and he held his arms out to John, who slowly walked forward, wrapping his own arms around Xander’s waist. Xander enclosed the hug and buried his face in the top of John’s hair, tears gathering in his eyes. “I’m too tired for this shit.”

“Shh, it’s okay.” John said in the same, gentle voice that he always spoke in when he was sick.

“You don’t sound okay.”

“Let me take you to bed, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Are you still trying to seduce me, McNamara?”

“You wish, Lee.” John said and took his hand, guiding him up the stairs to their room, where he lay on his side of the bed, which had extra pillows on it. Xander didn’t question it, though, changing quickly, brushing his teeth, toileting, before he could finally get into bed with his husband again.

“Tell me what’s happened in the past two weeks.”

“You can’t freak out.” John said and cupped his cheek. “I’m off the field for six weeks. I ended up getting infected, about Stage 6, so only inhaling the spores that attacked my bloodstream and airways.”

“You’re okay now?”

“Your cure saved my life. Well, I had to go through the process like everyone else, but they sucked the spores out during this surgical procedure type thing. Anyway-"

"How did you know I made it?"

"Oh, Schaffer told me. Anyway, I got stabbed and needed a blood transfusion, I have another 16 scars on my chest and this bastard on my face,” he said, gesturing to the scar on his face.

“How did that happen?” Xander asked, moving wisps of John’s golden hair behind his ear.

“Some infected bitch got a shard of glass and swiped it.”

“Ouch. Is that why Matthews was on the radio and not you?”

“Yeah. Because I nearly died.”

“What?”

“Hey. I’m here, aren’t I? And it wasn’t my fault this time. It was the infected against me.” He explained and kissed his jaw. “I just need to rest, so I’m off the field until the middle of September.”

“Okay…” Xander sighed and looked at him. “I assume you met Lex and Hannah.”

“I did. Lex gave me the low down. You always put others before yourself.”

“Their mother died, and they didn’t have a trusted adult to go with who’d survived!” Xander argued, but was silenced with a soft kiss from John.

“I’m not mad.” He confirmed, running his thumb over Xander’s cheek bone. “You’ve had a long day at work, Lieutenant. Get some rest.”

“I will.” He said and looked into John’s eyes. “Hey, John?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

With that, Xander flicked off his light and gently cuddled John’s chest, nestling into him. Everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAH PAULKINS KISS AFTER LIKE 18 CHAPTERS HAHA
> 
> me in 2019: ew, who would go 22 chapters without making paul and emma kiss, i could never do that  
> me in 2020: 18 was close enough 
> 
> aaaa a aaa a a we r' e nearly at black friday, it's taken me months but i can finally write a chapter i've been DYING to write btw, also i turn 15 in 4 days o wow. 
> 
> jay says acab still btw.


	19. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter tbh, just a passer between TGWDLM and Black Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah, and for those who do not know, 
> 
> Pob - Robert's Sniggle  
> Cat - Kim's Sniggle  
> Stone - Jeff's Sniggle  
> Eldy - Lauren's Sniggle  
> Star - James' Sniggle  
> Blush - Jaime's Sniggle  
> Moon - Angela's Sniggle  
> Spy - Curt's Sniggle
> 
> also all sniggles are non-binary aside from pob because pob wanted to be different. i made a whole other story based on the sniggles, it's based on xander being a product of the black and white.

Things got better. Things got _much_ better, as a matter of fact. Emma and Paul went on a date as soon as Emma’s leg healed, and they started to draw closer to placing a label on themselves. Micah and Gary started talking again, and were on good terms, and were forever drawing near to the fact that they could be in a relationship again. John and Xander, however, they only strengthened their bond. Xander was there for every step of John’s recovery and ensured, if John ever felt under the weather, or if his anxieties became too bad, Xander wouldn’t go in to work, instead opting to stay by John’s side.

As well as that, Alice made a full recovery and was able to be reunited with Deb shortly after she became clear of the virus. Charlotte and Sam finalised their divorce, and Charlotte moved in with Ted. Lex and Hannah started going through the adoption process with John and Xander for the two PEIP agents to be their legal guardian, and Ethan visited them frequently. Ethan, his uncle and his cousin became extremely close, just like everyone else. Things were working out.

John was welcomed back from his leave at PEIP with wide smiles and welcome arms, and he ensured the workplace continued to run smoothly. They managed to cure many of the citizens in Hatchetfield if they could, and decontaminated the island of spores entirely. With help from Clivesdale and other neighbouring cities, the Starlight Theatre was able to be mended, and touring companies were soon flooding back in. People went back to work, people moved home, and it was all _fine._

John cried when he was able to go back to his and Xander’s home in Hatchetfield. The house meant a lot to him, as it was one of the things his mentor, and past father-figure, Wilbur Cross, had handed over to him after he’d gone into The Black and White. Ever since, he’d been a raving lunatic, and John had been promoted to general because nobody else would take the role. The house had been untouched. Everything was left the same as how it had been when they’d had to evacuate.

He kept strong as he helped set Lex and Hannah up in their new rooms and broke down in Xander’s arms on the couch, not speaking as he cried. Xander already knew the reason why. Neither of them spoke, with John in Xander’s arms, his hair being stroked, comforting words being whispered into his ear. They both fell asleep there on the couch after the excitement of moving back in. It was their new normal.

But it was okay, or as okay as it could have been. Of course, until, the 23rd September 2018, a few days after John returned to PEIP. Xander came in, panicked, of course, and tapped John on the shoulder. “John, look,” he said, and showed him the files. “The Black and White is active again.”

“How active?” John asked, looking at him.

“Only subtly, but it isn’t looking good. From what I can tell, the portal is only going to get stronger, and from the rhythmic patterns that I managed to document, something is trying to break down the barriers. The very same thing who went in there 13 years ago.” He looked at John, who was gripping the desk awfully tight, and looked paler than a sheet. “John?”

“He can’t be coming out. He can’t.”

“I know, but it’s looking that way, love.”

“He’s- we can’t let a raving lunatic from an alternate dimension back into HQ!”

“And I am working on that, I am _working_ on upping the defences around the portal frame. I’m gonna try my hardest to stop him before he can cause any chaos, okay.”

“Okay…I believe you…”

* * *

But someone didn’t. Someone already knew that they were going to be plotting against him, and he’d planned everything in advance. He stood at the edge, and waved a camera into view. The other eight around him, his fellow Sniggles, were picking at their tights and shirts, clearly unamused.

“Now, now, Sniggles, don’t look so _dismal!_ This is going to be fun!” He grinned, but there were a range of groans and eye rolls from around the room.

“No, Pob, it isn’t okay? Mr Wiley says that we aren’t allowed to go to the real world, yet now he wants to promote his new son, his _Wiggly_ because Wiggly is the God that is going to shape humanity to be better, then we come in use.” Moon rolled their eyes, blowing their brown hair out of their face.

“Come on, guys. We either do this or get killed. Which would you prefer?” Stone asked, looking towards their friends. There were mumbled replies coming from the others, and Stone nodded again. “What I thought. It’ll only take a few moments, the advert will go out to the world and we get to live! It’s a win win!”

“Shut the fuck up, Stone. Nobody wants to do this.” Spy sighed, taking their place beside Cat.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have a choice,” Eldy piped up, stretching their arms over their head.

“And Eldy has a point, so I’m gonna try and make the best out of a bad situation,” Cat added. At the same time, Blush and Star walked in with their creator, who was dressed in a striped top, jeans, boots, a flat cap and a false beard. He wore his denim jacket and held a fake pipe in his hands. He looked at his Sniggles, who he’d ordered to dress in green with the word of _WIGGLY_ in white on their shirts. In fact, they were all dressed to resemble the lord Wiggly in a way, and it was how it was supposed to be.

On Black Friday, humanity would be reformed. It would be their second chance… _his_ second chance. “Places, Sniggles. Let’s make an advert.” He dimmed the lights, and Pob got behind the camera, prepared to start it at a cue. Wiley climbed on to the balcony and flashed a thumbs up.

_Lights._

_Camera._

_Action._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sniggle names explanation
> 
> Pob sounds like rob  
> kim played a cat on austin and ally  
> john mcnamara has a stone called expression doesn't he tho, that's where that came from  
> Lauren commented on my insta post where i ranked the sniggles that hers was the eldest one there. Eldy is a cuter version of elder  
> james is a star  
> jaime's sniggle is adorable and people blush sometimes when called adorable  
> angela's sniggle gives me big wide moon orbs wattpad described eyes vibes  
> do i need to explain curt's or???


	20. The Tickle Me Wiggly Jingle/What Tim Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's black friday bitches except i made it ten times sadder by making paul cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love paul matthews >:(
> 
> no tws aside from car crashes, but it's just the TMW jingle and what tim wants, and this is where my songfic skills come into play fuckers.

A young man sat down on the couch while his girlfriend- no. They hadn’t put a label on it. While his _close partner_ finished getting ready. On the screen was a man with pale skin that looked something like a fake sailor judged solely on the way he dressed. He rolled his hands and lay on the couch he was sitting on. “Emma! It’s on again!”

“Then turn it off!”

“The news is on after this, though!”

“You fuckin’ dork!” She shouted from the other room, and he rolled his eyes as he couldn’t help but look at the screen and what the screen was advertising.

* * *

The lights had gone up and Wiley was chewing on the pipe, looking at the screen, almost surprised. He took the pipe out of his mouth and grinned. “Ahoy there, boys and girls! Hop aboard the SS Wiggle! We’re setting sail for giggles! Come on Sniggles!” He turned and rushed down the stairs as the Sniggles took their place on stage. Moon, Blush, Spy and Stone were on the stairs, while Cat, Pob, Star and Eldy came on the stage.

“Hey everybody! We’re the Sniggles! Don’t be scared!” Moon said, as the song started up.

“ _He’s a wiggly snig, and a sniggly wig. A friendy-wend that makes you giggly!”_ Then, the four on the stairs joined the four on the stage alongside Uncle Wiley to do the dance they’d learned how to do just recently. “ _He’s an underwater creature from outta this world! The bestest friendy-wend to all the boys and girls! He’s a wiggly-wig and snuggle poo! And a wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle with you!”_

“His belly’s so squishy!” Blush mentioned, clapping their hands as they faced the Wiggly doll in the centre, who was being held by Uncle Wiley.

 _“His name is Wiggly and he’s here to stay, his belly’s squishy! Puts a smile on your face! Just tickle his belly-well and he will say…”_ The Sniggles all leaned in close as with a “push of a button,” Wiggly began to talk.

“I wuv you!” He said cutely as the Sniggles continued to dance behind their leader.

“Uncle Wiley? Where does Wiggly come from?” Blush asked, putting on a fake puzzled look. They already knew where Wiggly came from. They lived in The Black and White for goodness sake, and Blush could be dumb at times, just not when it came to advertising.

“Well, he’s deep down in Drowsy Town, sleepin’ the dreamless sleep of the dead!” Wiley declared, using the code name of ‘”Drowsy Town’ for The Black and White, where those who entered either went into an eternal sleep, and if they were lucky enough, got to stay and play forever.

“Well, how are we gonna wake him up, Uncle Wiley?” Star asked, placing their hands on their hips, as Wiley looked directly at the camera again.

“Oh, you’ll just have to pick up your own Wiggly this Black Friday!” Wiley said, winking as he made his way to the back of the set.

 _“Come on kids, time to gather ‘round, he’s an underwater creature that’ll turn that frown. He’s a friendy-wend through the thick and blue, cause Wiggly wiggles with you!_ ” The Sniggles sang again for marketing purposes, obviously.

“Rub his belly-well, bounce him up and down, tell him that you love how he wiggles with you!” Wiley informed from the stairs, bouncing the doll up and down.

 _“He’s all that you wanted, he’s all that you needed for this holiday season!”_ Star sang, coming to the front. Then he walked away for Spy to sign their line.

_“This holiday season, now you’ve got a reason for fwends to come and pway!”_

“ _Come and pway with us!”_ All the Sniggles encouraged.

“You brush his hair with a comb, his body’s made out of foam that’s certified laundry safe.” Cat pointed out as Stone continued to dance by Spy, singing their line too.

_“When Wiggly takes over your hearts and your souls, girls, boys.”_

_“The world will be a playground full of magic and Sniggle songs. And when you’re feeling down, he’s there to sing along_. _He’s a wiggly snig and a best fwend too! And a wiggle, wiggle  
He’ll wiggle, wiggle. He’ll wiggle his way to life!”_ The Sniggles continued to sing as Wiley spoke up yet again, showing Wiggly to the camera again.

“And he’s a steal at only $49.95!”

“Do the wiggle, do the wiggle, do the wiggle, do the wiggle!” The Sniggles exclaimed, taking a “break” to catch their breath before they continued to sing and dance. _“On this Black Friday, he will hit the shelves. He’s riding Santa’s sleigh cause he’s friends with all the elves. So Sniggle your stocking up for those days of twelve. This Christmas, wiggle with Wiggly! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle your way through life!”_

* * *

The advert ended, and Emma walked in, slipping her coat on. “Let’s get going, huh?”

“I guess.” Paul said and sat up, stretching. “Why does he want us there so _early_? If it’s a thanksgiving thing like you keep saying, then we should be able to get there later, shouldn’t we?”

“You tell me why Tom wants us there so early.” She rolled her eyes, grabbing her car keys, heading out the door. “Oh, you don’t mind locking up, do you?”

“Not at all,” Paul said, turning and locking the door before he climbed in the car beside Emma. They sat in silence as Paul listened in to the news like he did every day, until the commercials for that Black Friday started up.

“ _It’s Black Friday at Hatchetfield’s “Lakeside Mall,” with sales so huge you’ll lose your mind! Doors open at 7 AM! Lose your mind! Pick up a Kitchen Aide Air fryer for only $54.95! Crazy! A two-piece living room set from “Miller’s” for only $555.88! I just dropped dead! And fill this holiday season with giggles with the brand-new Tickle-Me Wiggly by Uncle Wiley Toys! Only $49.95 at Toy-Zone!”_ On cue, the Sniggles started to sing again, and Paul turned the radio off.

“Ugh. How many times are they gonna play that ad? That’s twice this morning!” He exclaimed, looking at Emma.

“I don’t know,” came her reply, as she wasn’t too bothered about the whole situation. 

“Well, _I_ don’t like it. And I’ll tell you why!”

“I already know, it’s because you don’t like musicals-“

“It’s these advertising firms with these catchy jingles that worm their way into your brain, brewing up the hype ‘til it boils over. It’s things like Wiggly that make Black Friday the worst shopping day of the year!”

“I was _not_ expecting that..” she said, glancing over at him. “But you gotta relax, Paul. Wiggly is _just_ a toy.”

“Yeah, and you know what else were just toys? Cabbage Patch Kids! And there were riots over those things! Besides, John warned us to stay inside today and-“

“John’s a lunatic, Paul.” Emma rolled her eyes. “And how does he know Wigglys are gonna get the same effect on America as Cabbage Patch Kids did? What even is a Cabbage Patch Kid, Paul? Like some sort of cut open head of lettuce, and you go to eat it, and “oh shit! A baby!” She heard Paul laugh from beside her, but she didn’t. “You want a salad, and now you gotta care for this child you didn’t even want to begin with that spawned!”

“Spawned?”

“Like in Minecraft.” She confirmed. “Like in Minecraft, or like “The Spawn of Satan.” I don’t get the appeal.”

“Well, what was the appeal of Tamagotchis or Beanie Babies or _Wiggly?_ It’s just mania, Emma. Like a spell.” Paul said as Emma parked the car on Tom’s drive.

“Nobody knows and nobody is gonna find out. Besides, we’re here, so you can get off your soapbox. And none of that talk around Tim, okay? He’s nine, he probably wants a Wiggly more than anything. And if we upset his son, Tom will never invite us over again.” Emma opened the trunk of her car, grabbing a couple of bags from Beanies full of leftovers from yesterday. She’d shared thanksgiving with Hidgens while Paul celebrated with his own family.

“Isn’t your brother-in-law…I don’t know…a kind of _Scrooge_ now?”

“You need to understand the car crash was _last Christmas._ He lost his wife. I mean, he _is_ an asshole, and he always has been. I mean, who wouldn’t be if they dated Becky Barnes.” Paul smiled awkwardly at that, but Emma kept going. “But he and Tim are the only biological family I have left, and I barely know them because I fucked up and didn’t try hard enough. I just…I just need this to work, okay?”

“And It will!” Paul assured, placing his hand on Emma’s shoulder. “He invited you over! He wants you to be a part of his life. So, cheer up! It’s Christmas time in Hatchetfield! Isn’t that fun?” When Emma didn’t reply, he found himself smiling sympathetically. He hadn’t been through what she had, but he always tried to understand. “Everything’s going to be okay, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” With that, Emma pressed the doorbell and waited for her brother-in-law, Tom Houston, to show up at the door in jeans and a vest top. 

“You’re late. As per usual.” Tom bit, which Emma took as one of his friendliest introductions. She tried to reason with him, saying that is was _only_ 6:30, but he didn’t want to hear it. They wanted them there at 6, and not for them to get Starbucks. What was actually in the cups was homemade coffee in the reusable shit her and Paul had both gotten on recent trips. Still, Tom stepped to the side, allowing Paul and Emma into his house, which was smaller than Jane always made it out to be. She walked through to the living room where her nephew, Tim, sat in his grey plaid pyjamas. Emma immediately became softer for him, still feeling so protective over him, like she had the first time she saw a photo of him. After all, Emma had some of Jane’s DNA.

“Hi Tim!” She beamed and it caught his attention.

“Aunt Emma!” He squealed excitedly, rising from the couch and hugging her tightly after she set down her bags down.

“I missed you yesterday, but I hear you and your dad did something pretty cool, huh?” She asked, crouching down in front of him after they’d let go. “You went to Pizza Pete’s didn’t you?”

“Pizza Pete’s? That’s cool!” Paul said, clearly feeling misplaced in the situation, and Emma looked at him. Paul quickly moved her eyes away.

“Who’s that?” Tim asked, looking at Paul.

“Oh, Tim. This is Paul. I told your dad he’d be coming too.”

“Oh yeah!”

Paul seemed to smile again then, gathering confidence. “I liked going to Pizza Pete’s when _I_ was a kid! I liked all the rides, and the ball pits.”

“The ball pits were cool.” Tim nodded, smiling wide. “And we went on so many games! But I’m not allowed to go on Zombie House alone. I used to play that with mom, but dad can’t because he’s not supposed to hold a gun…because of flashbacks.”

“What are you telling them, Tim? I don’t get flashbacks; I just have a very vivid memory!” Tom came in, buttoning up red flannel over his vest. Emma stood up and leaned closer to Paul.

“Tom did two tours in Iraq and got diagnosed with PTSD after Jane died.” She whispered and Paul nodded understandingly as Tom spoke to his son.

“You _know_ I could have played the damn zombie game, but I was at the ski ball machine trying to win you tickets to help you get the RC car that you wanted!”

“And I told you that ski ball sucks!” His son argued back, but Emma cut the brewing argument off.

“Well, today, we’re gonna have so much fun! Me and Paul? We bought DVDs and games and we got leftovers! Everything you need for a belated Turkey Day.” She smiled proud, but the smile drained when she heard what Tom said.

“Well, you guys have fun. I gotta go get something for my car while the parts are on sale. You’ll only have to watch Tim for a few hours, I won’t be too long.”

Emma spun around, a slight spark of anger in her eyes, looking at him. “You told me in the text we’d be spending time as a family _together.”_

“Yeah, well, Emma, Grace is outta town and my car’s gonna break down!”

“Okay so you just hired me for a babysitting gig. This is fucking great.” She sighed, slamming her drink down on the table, luckily none of it spilled. “This is fine!”

In her sudden fit of anger, Paul went to comfort her as Tim looked at his dad. “But…when you told me Aunt Emma was comin round I thought that we were all gonna be here…together, and you were gonna play games with me again…”

“Well, Tim, I need a new blade for my bandsaw.”

“That’s not what you said a moment ago.”

“What did I say a moment ago?”

“That you needed to fix your car!”

“And I need to do that.”

“You’re lying!” Tim shouted at Tom.

“Young man, I would _never_ lie to you.”

“Well you lied to me about what happened to mom! You told me she’d be fine, and she wasn’t! You’re the worst!” Tim shouted before rushing out the room.

Tom sighed, calling out for his son, looking to the door where Tim had run out of, only to hear Emma start speaking to him again.

“I always knew you were an asshole, but lying to your own son about what happened to his mother? That’s next level. You definitely have the greatest priorities, don’t you! The tools always come first when caring for your son, don’t they?” She sat on the couch, Paul sitting beside her, and she took in the comfort of his arms as she leaned against him.

“I never said that,” Tom became defensive, looking at his sister-in-law.

“Yeah? Well it seems, for Tim’s tenth birthday, you’re gonna take the tools to Six Flags and leave Tim at home!”

“Look, Emma. I couldn’t just tell him where I’m going. My car’s fine, and I don’t need to get a new blade for my bandsaw. I’m going down to get Tim’s Christmas present, ya know the one that’s been advertised on TV for just over a month? The Tickle-Me Wiggly?”

“Holy shit.” Emma said and looked at him. “Holy shit! He’s gonna flip! You must’ve ordered that thing like six months ago!” She was clearly exaggerating, with the full knowledge of the Wiggly’s being advertised in mid-September instead of the middle of May.

“Nah. Toy-Zone doesn’t do pre-orders, and it’s first come, first serve, so I thought I’d get there nice and early to ensure I got one, it’s why I was so desperate for you to get here on time.”

“You could have just told me that and I’d have been here so much sooner!” Emma laughed, but Paul bit his lip.

“Uh, Tom, do you have someone holding your place in line?”

“What do you mean line? It’s 6:30! I’ll get there 10 minutes before the doors even open!”

“Yeah, Tom uh…I’m assuming you’ve been shut in for a while so uh, I don’t think you’re understanding the demand for this doll. My buddy Bill tried to get one online for his daughter Alice as an apology about what happened in July, and the orders are so backed up, the earliest he could get one is next Christmas, and that’s just a maybe.”

“Really?” Emma asked and looked at Paul, who nodded.

“You should have been there last week, if I’m being honest Tom.”

“You’re pulling my chain.” Tom said, his voice low and deep, hesitating to grab his coat.

“There’s not really any point going down there-“

“Goddamit!” He snapped, pulling his coat off the rack. “Jane would have had this all figured out!”

“But there are other options-“ Paul tried to reason, but Tom put his foot down. Literally, which made Paul flinch. He’d been sensitive around any loud bangs, considering the grenade blast had left him afraid of louder noises more than he was before.

“But he doesn’t want other options, he wants this doll! Is that too much to ask for?” He got up close to Paul’s face. “Last Christmas, this kid lost more than any kid deserves. You wanna know what he was doing this time last year? He was sledding with his mother. Now he’s…” He moved away and headed for the door. “This kid deserves to have one fucking thing that he asked for. And I’m not coming back into this house without one of those dolls in my hand! Because I will be goddamned if he doesn’t have a merry fucking Christmas. And a happy new year!” Paul flinched, tears gathering in his eyes. Emma hadn’t seen Paul so vulnerable before, so wasn’t too sure what she was supposed to do.

* * *

After, Tom slammed the door shut and walked out. Paul announced he was going to the bathroom, his eyes full of tears, and Emma knew she’d have to speak to Tom about upsetting her… _Paul._

But Tom was in the car, determined to get that doll. He knew that what Tim wanted, Tim would get. He could ask for anything in the world and Tom would make sure he’d have it. Every day felt like some sort of warped dream, like the reality he was living in wasn’t real. Ever since Jane died, the car crash hadn’t felt like an accident, and almost felt deliberate, and the fact she didn’t wake up was even worse. The answer, for him, was that somebody had to pay for it, so it may as well be him.

Tim used to like cars, he remembered. He liked any sort of vehicle, and since the car crash, everything changed. With a flash and a bang, nothing was the same. And Tom still needed time, an indefinite break from the madness, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to let the Tickle-Me Wiggly slide from his grasp.

And despite everything, Tim lit up a room, but it was rare to see him smiling. When he saw Emma earlier, his face lit up, and Tom found himself praying, as he gripped the steering wheel tighter, that God could see the bouncing boy he had, and the mother he hoped was resting in peace.

With his knuckles turning white, he found himself in the scene of the crash again, the car flipping over and over again until Jane took her last breath. There wasn’t an end to the flashbacks, and they kept coming. Jane should still be alive, _not_ him, after all, it was his fault his beloved wife was dead. All he knew was that he had to cling on to the family he had, but he was only pushing Emma away, and he knew he’d hurt Paul.

And he’d hurt Tim by lying to him. He never said ‘I love you’ to Tim enough anymore. It left him with fears that Tim blamed him for Jane’s death, and rightfully, he should, but he was also scared that Tim blamed Tom for his son’s luck. And it left Tom knowing that whatever Tim wanted, he’d get it back. He would give up both of his arms if it meant Jane could come home, if it meant that Tim would get back on track, but it required a smile from the young boy and one of his goofy winks. He just needed something to push Tim towards the paradise he always dreamed of and they’d head their together as father and son, and their story was only beginning.

He could have turned back, not gotten the doll at all, but Toy-Zone was already in sight. He parked in the car park and locked up. He had a feeling that today was going to be out of the ordinary. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLEEPING THE DREAMLESS SLEEP OF THE DEAD HE WANTS TO BE YOUR FWENDY WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND.   
> to love u hold u keep u tight and love u hold u keep u tight and keep u tight and keep u tight and love you SOoOOoO  
> unCLE WILEY HOW DO WE WAKE HIM UP WITH A WIGGLE AND A SNIGGLE AND A WIGGLE AND A SNIGGLE DO THE WIGGLE  
> DO THE WIGGLE, DO THE WIGGLE, DO THE WIGGLE
> 
> YOU CAN SHOWER WITH HIM, GET MUDDY WITH HIM, YOU CAN THROW HIM IN THE LAUNDRY CAUSE HE KNOWS HOW TO SWIM- 
> 
> paulkins rights xoxo


	21. CaliforMIA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank Pricely rights and Lex Foster's time to shine babey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWS:  
> mentions of slitting throats and sharp objects.
> 
> this chapter was longer than originally anticipated, sorry bout that.

As he was about to head inside, he saw a young girl leaning against the wall of the exterior of Toy-Zone. He had no idea if she worked there or not, but he’d rather risk asking and get told some stupid answer than ask someone who didn’t work there and mocked him publicly. He zipped his coat back up and looked at her. “Excuse me, Miss? You think it’s alright for me to park here?” He asked and watched as the girl slid her hood back up.

Her eyes glanced up to the sign that was stuck to the streetlight and shrugged, taking the cigarette out from between her lips. “Yeah, it does say no parking at any time, but I’m sure, just for you, that the loading trucks will make an exception and park across the street. How does that sound?”

“Yeah, that’s perf-“ He said before he caught a full glimpse of her. He knew that face from miles away. Alexandra Foster, his former student. He would be lying if he said he missed teaching, but some of the kids made going to work worth it. However, with the whole thing that had happened with Jane, he hadn’t found it in himself to return, so he didn’t, and news got back to him that his star student had dropped out too. “Lex?”

She smiled and stood up straighter, looking back at him. “Hey, Mr Houston.”

“What ya doin?” He asked, heading over to her, and her smile dropped. She rolled her eyes, her sarcastic nature still as strong as it had ever been.

“What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m having a bud before my shift.” She gestured to the cigarette in her hands, before she placed it back between her teeth, taking another breath, much to Tom’s horror.

He got in closer to her, an almost threatening look in his eyes, as he spoke in a fatherly manner towards her. “Hey, does your mother know you smoke?”

She smiled again then, and he couldn’t read the true tone behind her expression. He so desperately hoped her problems at home had cleared up, and her mother was off the alcohol. Tom had met Lex’s mother on many an occasion when she’d straight up refused to do the work or gotten busted for smoking at school. She was a horrible woman back then, and part of Tom wasn’t surprised if he found out that she still was.

To his demise, Lex shrugged it off, saying that her mother let her smoking issues slide because Lex was able to score weed, and it made Tom shake his head. No kid should have to go through that. “Weed?” He questioned, and she nodded. “Lex, I thought you were done with all that! Last year you were back in school! You were on top of your classes!”

She turned back to him, her eyes filled with dimly lit fire, and huffed. “No, Houston, I was on top of _your_ class, and only your class. As soon as shop class got cancelled because a certain teacher had to leave because of a, what was it? A ‘family emergency,’ they flunked me! So, I did what was best for everyone, including myself, and left that piece of shit high school.”

And there it was. The reminder of Jane’s death, again. She was everywhere, and she wasn’t going around. Tom knew it’d take time to get over his wife, but he hadn’t expected it to be this hard. Nothing should be this hard, and he was always good at getting over things, or so he told himself. When Becky started dating Stanley, and Jane told him…but Becky didn’t matter. This was about _Jane._ Or…was it? “Lex, you know what happened to my wife. That wasn’t a very fair thing to say.”

“What’s it matter?” She brushed him off, adjusting her jacket over her shoulders. “School is supposed to prepare you for the workplace, and I have a job, and I’ve had one since I was 16! Or is Stock Girl at Toy-Zone a waste of my _endless_ potential.” She punctuated the sentence with a roll of her eyes, but it sparked something in Tom. Hope? Was it hope? He couldn’t remember what hope felt like. It had been so long, but maybe, just maybe, he could get Tim’s present and be done, and get home, and maybe then Emma wouldn’t be so pissed at him.

“Toy-Zone?” He questioned, and he was shot an expression full of daggers.

“What? You got a problem with retail?”

“No!” He defended, but a slight raise of her eyebrow showed Tom it hadn’t been convincing enough. “No, no, no! I think Toy-Zone is a great place for you to work! In fact, I’m _proud_ of you, Lex. I always thought you had a good work ethic.”

“Yeah? Well _one_ of us had to bring in money to support my little sister and my drinking habits, and it certainly wasn’t going to be my mom.” She smiled sourly, and Tom was left stunned momentarily. There was a brief pause before Tom decided to change the subject to get directly to the point. He needed to find out if he even had a shot at getting a doll for Tim. He needed to know.

“Yeah, that’s funny. Listen, I’m actually here to get a Christmas present, for my son?” By the look on his former student’s face, Tom realised she already knew what was to come. “It’s a- uh, a Tickle-Me Wiggly? I didn’t realise so many people were trying to do the same thing, I’ve been shut in for a little while, ya see, so do you think there’s anythin you could do?”

“You mean like…put one on the side for you? Or put your name on the box, slide it under the counter, just to screw over _hundreds_ of people who’ve been here before you?”

“Yeah! That’d be great!” Tom allowed his naivety to get to him, clearly not reading her sarcastic taunts.

“Well, Mr Houston, ya know, I could. But the only problem is, that’s violating company policy. And everyone’s tellin me to be more responsible lately, and I’m gonna go with them on this one.” Was it payback for him leaving mid-way through the school year that she wasn’t assisting him? Tom wasn’t sure, but he felt dread, his familiar friend dread, latching back on to his chest. Tom was a _shitty_ dad, and he should have known to get there earlier. Then Lex spoke again. “Oh! But hey! I got an idea! Go get in line like everybody else! And I’d hurry if I were you, because the line’s already backed up to Nordstrom.” She finished her sentence with a laugh, and Tom felt the blood drain from his face.

“Oh-oh. No, no, no, no. To Nordstrom? Ah, shit!” He shouted, immediately turning, beginning to jog away.

“Wait, wait! Are you gonna leave your car there?” Lex shouted from a distance, and Tom waved his hand dismissively.

“Let ‘em tow it!” He called back, turning the corner.

“Alright, Merry Christmas.” She mumbled to herself, dropping her cigarette to the ground, crushing it under her boot. She took a breath, checking her phone in case there was any important updates from Ethan, and after confirming with herself that everything was fine, she walked inside to hear her manager, Frank _fucking_ Pricely, singing again.

She examined the scene, noticing a vaguely familiar delivery guy dressed all in denim with a denim cap to match stood beside a very tall box, with which on the outside was labelled with _Uncle Wiley Toys_. She figured the dolls were in there, and it was why Frank was so excited.

“So, that’s them, huh?” She asked, taking her jacket off, hanging it up in the staff room, replacing it with her red Toy-Zone sleeveless one.

“Yup! Our _own_ miracle on 34th street!” Came Frank’s over joyful voice. Lex came back out, standing beside the box, and her manager physically turned her to see him. “Tell me, Lex. Do you know why they call it _Black_ Friday?”

Shuffling away from him, she spoke. “Because it comes after Thursday?” It was too early in the morning to be putting up with her capitalist boss who’d thrown her on that shift last minute and _God,_ she hated him more than she hated her mom….actually, maybe she hated him _slightly_ less than that.

With the remark, it showed he was clearly displeased with her, but she couldn’t care less. “Cute.” He sighed, looking at her, making frantic gestures with his hands to add to his statements. “They call it _Black_ Friday because it’s the day in America when most retailers go from being in the red, which is _losing_ money, to being in the black! Making money!” He laughed. “Like _gambling!”_

“Well, friend-o, I have a feeling these little babies are gonna take you _so_ far into the black, that you ain’t ever comin back.” The delivery driver piped up, and Frank sharply turned his head to face him. Lex’s eyes widened, debating with herself whether the man unintentionally made a semi-racist remark, or whether there was some other meaning. After a few seconds, they both started laughing, and Frank slapped his hands down on the box.

“Oh, I sure hope so!”

The delivery driver finished his laughing, looking back at Frank. “Oh, you are gonna make a _killin’!”_ He exclaimed, making the gesture of slitting his own throat with his hand before laughing again, patting the top of the box. “And _that_ is an Uncle Wiley Toy’s guarantee!” He smiled and went to laugh, but Lex could feel his eyes on him. She heard him muttering something about a “naughty list,” which she took to be an inuendo, and realised when she told Ethan, he would not be happy.

Maybe Ethan didn’t need to know this time.

She still scoffed, uttering the word “gross!” as Frank draped himself over the box, practically hugging it. She headed towards the cash registers to start setting up other toys, but she couldn’t help but be stopped by him. “Excuse me, Alexandra? I don’t mean to bother you or anything, but do you think I could see some hustle outta you on this, the most important shift of your life? On this, the holiest day in America for humble merchants across this fine nation?”

“Frank, I am _literally_ at the cash registers!” She said, throwing her bag down on the desk in front of her, only for him to stand up straighter than before, walking towards her.

“You know, you got a real attitude problem. You’re snippy to customers, your no-good boyfriend is _always_ around. You’d think a drop-out with a record would be thankful to have a job!” He paused, before pointing a finger directly at her. “You wanna end up like your mother? No prospects and two kids she can’t take care of? She dropped your sister on her head or whatever. But you, look at what a fine job she’s done with you.”

She tried to ignore the taunts he was giving, by simply rolling her eyes. “Look, Frank, do you want me to unload these things or what?”

“It would be _nice_ if our hot ticket item could be behind the counter before we open!

“Fine!”

“Thank you!” Frank turned and began walking in the opposite direction, only for him to face her again when he realised she hadn’t replied like he wanted her to. ”Alexandra, do you have something to say back to me? Something a polite young woman might respond with?

She was becoming more annoyed than what was necessary, and chose to attempt to keep calm by replying with the most logical answer she could think up. “Thank you.”

Frank became close to a laugh as he tutted, shaking his head. “No, no, no, no. Alexandra, I know this is hard for you but try to keep up. I say thank you so _you_ should say…?”

She shut her eyes, resisting a sigh, as she said, “you’re welcome.” Her manager clapped his hands again, saying that it was true that she could be taught as he walked off to do some other tasks, singing the same shitty Christmas song with edited lyrics to fit his capitalist lifestyle.

She took out her boxcutter from her pocket, slicing open the tape, speaking to herself to keep herself relatively sane. “We’ll see who’s laughin by the end of the day. We’ll see who’s laughin.” Inside of the box, once she’d opened the flaps, produced a very bright green glow, that was nearly frightening. She lifted up one of the dolls from the top, holding it’s synthetic fur in her hands. She knew Hannah would hate the touch. “Hi, Wiggly. I’m Lex. So, you’re what all the fuss is about,” she spoke, as the Wiggly began to speak to her.

“Tickle my belly-well!” The Wiggly encouraged, and Lex did just that, laughing softly.

“Huh. Cute.” She said, semi-sarcastically, placing the doll on the counter as she opened her bag. The Wiggly continued to talk, giggling in an alien sort of way.

“That tickles! I think we’re going to be very good friendy-wends!” It declared. Lex then thought back to the advertised and couldn’t remember where it said it came with a voice box, but she thought nothing of it. Maybe this was just a rarer version?

“I think so too, Wiggly. I think you’re going to help me out a lot more than you know.” She picked up the green monster, stuffing it in her bag. In secret, she wasn’t paying for it. She was stealing it, and selling it off so her, Ethan and Hannah could finally get to California. They’d be free by the end of the night. They’d be _free._

She didn’t hear the footsteps that came from the staff room as someone stopped, stomping their foot down to catch her attention, and it certainly worked as she tensed up. “Mall security! We got a shoplifter, drop that doll!” The voice of Ethan Green spoke, and Lex spun around, relief washing over her in the form of a wide grin.

“Jesus Christ, Ethan, you fucking asshole!” She ran forward, throwing her bag over her shoulder, shoving his chest. He smiled too, stumbling back slightly. Lex may not be the strongest person in the world, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t strong at all, because she was, and she could use it to her advantage.

“Come on, babe, it was just a goof!” Ethan defended, only for a sense of dread to creep over his girlfriend’s face. “Why so glum for, Lex?”

“Where the _fuck_ is my sister?” She asked, now frustrated.

Ethan, having thought it would be something out of his control, felt himself relax after realising he knew the answer to that question. Being sent to a shitty school where he was picked on to answer even though it was obvious he didn’t know had led to a mild form of anxiety, and Lex knew never to use it against him. Still, there was always going to be that lingering fear.

“Oh, Hannah? She’s right out here, I’ll go get her, but uh…she ain’t havin a good day today.”

“ _Fuck.”_ Lex said as Ethan disappeared out of the room, returning shortly with Hannah, who was holding his hand tightly, staying by his side.

“See, Banana? I told ya Lex would be here. No bad dolls, she’s safe.”

“Bad doll.” Hannah huffed, sitting down on the floor by the wall, crossing her arms.

This prompted Lex to walk over, tucking her hair behind her ear, as she crouched down in front of Hannah. “Hey, banana. Is today not a good day?” With the shake of Hannah’s head, it confirmed all of Lex’s worries. She was hoping Hannah would have a good day today so It would be easier for Ethan, but things didn’t always go according to plan, she found. “Well, I don’t know who told you that because today is a good day! You know my backpack? The one with the pins on it? Well, today you get to wear it!” She said, trying to untangle Hannah’s arms so she could wear the backpack. After Hannah started putting up a fight, Lex stopped trying.

“She’s been like it all day, babe. I’ve tried everythin’.” Ethan explained, and Lex closed her eyes, taking a breath. The last thing Hannah needed, while having a bad day, was for someone to be mad at her. “What’s wrong with my backpack? You love to wear it!”

“Bad.” Hannah said, grimacing, folding in tighter on herself.

“Who told you my backpack was bad?”

There was a moments silence, before Hannah admitted that it was Webby who’d told her that. Lex immediately shot Ethan a look that read _don’t you dare,_ and he raised his hands in surrender. Hannah had an imaginary friend named Webby, which would be fine for a younger kid, but not for someone that was approaching 10. Hannah always seemed happier when she was “talking to Webby,” as Lex soon found it was her way to cope during a meltdown, so Lex didn’t push.

“Did Webby say anythin else?” Lex asked, and Hannah nodded hesitantly.

“Bad blood, Cross, Black and White,” she said definitely, and a look of confusion crossed Lex’s face. She did _not_ have time for that.

“Hannah, just wear the fucking backpack, I’ve got to get to work!” She said through gritted teeth, yet again gently grabbing her sister’s arms, and Hannah began to kick at Lex again. Only _then_ did Ethan step in. He crouched beside the both of them, placing his hand on Lex’s shoulder.

“Okay, lemme try, lemme try.” He said, and Lex looked at him. She had nothing to lose, so she moved away, going back to stocking the shelves behind the counter. Ethan smiled gently as Hannah looked up, meeting Ethan’s eyes. “All right, Banana-split.” He pulled a hat out from his pocket, the one with his school mascot on it, but Hannah didn’t exactly need to know that. “You see this hat? It was gifted to me by a great warrior.” He heard Lex snicker, and he glared at her. “Don’t you fuckin’ laugh,” he warned, and Lex hid her wide smile with her hair, allowing Ethan to continue. “It’s imbued by the power of Greyskull to ward of dark magic, bad blood, backpacks, _any_ fuckin’ thing. Now, I can _lend_ you this hat, just for today. And while it’s on your head, well, nothing can harm you.”

“Honest?” Hannah asked quietly, and Ethan held out the cap to her, nodding.

“Cross my heart, hope to die.” When Hannah took the hat, he stood back up and walked behind the counter, wrapping his arms around Lex’s waist. “I always said I’d make a great dad-“

“Alright, Ethan.” Lex said, unable to stop smiling in his arms. “You remember what I told you the plan was? Watch her until noon, which is when I get off shift, and then we’re out of this _fucking town!_ And please tell me everything is still good with the buyer?” When she felt Ethan’s arms leave her waist, she immediately knew _something_ had gone wrong, or so she thought. “What happened?”

“Well…what if I were to tell you that when I posted the advert, I set it as $500 like we originally discussed, but then some people started bidding for it, and we’ve got someone willing to pay $7000?” His voice lilted, unsure of her reaction, but her eyes widened.

“You’re serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“We’re fucking set!” She exclaimed, jumping over the counter, looking at Hannah. “Hannah, we can go to Cali!”

“California?” Hannah asked, standing up, shuffling to meet Lex, and Lex smiled, looking back to Ethan.

“Cali-fucking-fornia!” She declared as she turned to Ethan. “And about time. Because my mom is the biggest alcoholic bitch I have ever met who needs the money _I_ earn to get her depression meds so she can stay alive. But I’m takin my money and I’m switching things up. Me, you and Hannah, babe, we’re out of here. And _god_ I can feel it now! The sun shining down upon me and I just know that we did the right thing even in such a time of crisis. The future is priceless, and we ain’t got anything to worry about. We’re CaliforMIA!” She declared and Ethan grinned, leaning against the counter.

“We’re CaliforMIA!” They both said in unison as Ethan hopped up on to the counter.

“And it beats being broke! In these days and ages, it’s so hard to get a decent wage just to afford a smoke!” He said, making the gesture. Lex swatted at his legs, telling him to get down as she stepped forward.

“And it’ll be alright because I’ll land my first acting gig because I’ve had a shit ton of practise and- Ethan, that isn’t how cameras work.”

“Sorry, babe.” He said and blushed as he got off the floor. “But we’re CaliforMIA?”

“We’re CaliforMIA!” Then a look of realisation struck her. She grabbed a sheet of paper on the desk and a pen and began to write. “Okay, a final note to my bitch of a fucking mother. Dear, mom. It’s been real, real bad. I’d say you did your best, but I’m not a liar.”

“You spelt it wrong. It’s L-I-E-R, babe.”

“For fucks sake, Ethan! We get it! You’re a good speller!” She said, continuing to write. “I’m taking Hannah as far away from here as we can get. I’d give you an address, but I don’t want to. Don’t write, don’t call, don’t ask. Sincerely, Lex. P.S, get yourself a new trailer. Cause this one is broke as shit!” She folded the piece of paper up, exhaling. She went to take Ethan’s hand, and while she did, noticed Hannah doing the same gesture Ethan had been doing while he’d been up on the counter. “Hannah Foster!” She scolded, and Hannah turned to face her. “That had better be floss!” She said before letting go of Ethan’s hand. “I need a cigarette, and Ethan, no more of that! You’re a terrible influence!”

Lex lead the way out of the store, with Ethan and Hannah trailing behind her. Everything would be alright, and they didn’t need to worry anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> typing up the black friday script and tgwdlm script rlly comes in handy with this book jfc. 
> 
> anyways


	22. What Do You Say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Becky meet again, and the crowd goes wild !!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> body shaming  
> mentions of death 
> 
> -  
> i do not condone Linda Monroe's behaviour at all but oh my god she's such a fun character to write in the context of the musical. also, i enjoyed coming up with drastic rumours for the actual song. 
> 
> for those who don't know, I'll explain the characters without names for those who may be unsure:  
> "Blue Jacket": Sherman Young (hasn't been introduced yet)  
> "Red Sweater": James Tolbert's Shop Character  
> "Checkered Cap Guy": Papa Ed/Curt's Shop Character  
> "Beanie": Robert Manion's Shop Character
> 
> also i have had this chapter planned out since MAY. do you not understand how good it feels to finally post it? because it's a weight off my shoulder

While Lex slipped outside, her and Ethan sharing a cigarette, Hannah sitting on the ground again, she was able to get a good luck at the crowd outside Toy-Zone and the people who were queuing. Needless to say, as she leaned against her boyfriend’s side, she already found herself fully entertained.

Storming down the street from the car park up the road was one of Hatchetfield’s most famous personalities, or, to the youth, “Karens.” She wore a white turtleneck jumper and black leggings with some sort of designer black cape and matching hat as well as boots. She had the latest style of iPhone pressed to her ear, and she didn’t hide the fact that she was on the phone to her husband.

Throughout her time being alive, Linda Monroe had craved validation, and she would do anything to ensure she remained noticed. If that meant causing a public scandal between her family and another, or if it meant she’d have to cheat on her husband, again, then she would, as well as her name remained written in the media, as long as she remained noticed.

Something seemed to be frustrating her as she sauntered past the line, earning scornful looks and scoffs her way. She knew that, and she didn’t care. She stopped a little further up the street by a less crowded area and let her mouth gape open in shock. “I _told_ you to wait in the car, Gerald. You know full well why you’re not allowed inside!” After a slight pause, presumably from her husband talking to her over the phone, she sent her obvious offended reply back through to him. “Because you’re not to step within a thousand feet of a Cinnabon, Gerald!”

She walked further down the street, still ensuring she was being as loud as possible for she needed people to know who she was. They _had_ to know. “No, I don’t believe that you just want to smell them, ugh.” Then, she did the most that she could. After noticing her old love, Gary Goldstein, and what was his ex in front of him, she stood beside them, allowing her eyes to scan over the line. She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, look at this line,” she mumbled under her breath, before shouting back at her husband, “No, Gerald, keep the car running. I don’t want to come out there in ten minutes to a cold car.” She walked forward, slightly displeased that neither of the men she’d once associated herself with had noticed her. She walked up to a man in a red sweater and a scarf, and realised that would be a fairly good spot to take. He seemed poor enough. She tapped his arm, and smiled sickeningly sweetly. “Excuse me? What do scissors do?”

The man was confused, folding his arms across his chest as he looked at her. “Huh?”

Linda only smiled, extending a hand to him. “Hello there, Linda Monroe, President of the Hatchetfield Boating Society. Or perhaps you may know my husband? Dr Monroe of Inner-Beauty _Rhinoplasty?”_ She looked around at the others around her, who seemed to take no notice. She needed to level things up. “I was wondering if you could just…step on back and I could slide in front of you?”

“Uh, no, I’ve been waiting here all night!” The guy said, a look of horror crossing his face.

Linda already knew what to do. She reached in to her purse and pulled out a cheque, writing a _very_ large sum of money on it. Well, for him it would be large. For her, it was hardly a dollar gone from her bank account. “And your time is precious, I’m sure, sir. And that is why I am willing to compensate you…”

The man turned back around, beginning to get frustrated again. “Look, ma’am, I can’t just let you cut in front of-“ then he noticed what she was doing, and what was written on the cheque. Things switched up pretty soon then. He grinned brightly and took the cheque that she held in her hand, and stepped back, creating a space for her. “Thank you, Mrs Monroe! And a merry Christmas to ya.”

Brushing him off, Linda offered a very bland form of thanks as she pressed her phone back to her ear. “Yes, I just got into a slight issue. I’ll be _ten minutes.”_

“Excuse me?” Someone from behind her asked, but Linda decided not to pay attention to her.

“No, Gerald! You can _not_ run across the street! I don’t care if River has to use the bathroom, he can hold it like a man. And stop acting like I’m so _stupid!_ I know it isn’t for River’s benefit,” she hissed, which seemed to upset the woman more.

“Excuse me!?” She asked, slightly louder then, and finally caving in, Linda spun to face the culprit.

“What?!” She asked, glaring directly at the red-haired nurse. Calming down, and placing a false expression on her face, she pressed the phone back to her ear. “Oh my God, Gerald, hold on. Becky _Barnes_ is accosting me.” She spoke her name as if it was some sort of virus. Becky Barnes, in reality, _was_ a virus and would always continue to be one. She was a disgusting woman. “Yes, call the police!” Linda shouted down the phone in a shrill voice before hanging up.

At the message, Becky looked at Linda, disheartened. Becky had always made an effort with Linda back in high school, giving her a shoulder to lean on if she ever needed a friend, and yet when _Becky_ got the cheerleading spot and Linda didn’t, things started to take a turn for the worse when Linda became jealous, and Becky wasn’t letting anyone else face the wrath of Linda Monroe. “You can’t do that, Linda! You can’t just cut the line!”

“Oh, oh no. I did not _cut,_ I bought this spot, fair and square,” Linda corrected, as if it would change the situation in any shape or form.

“It’s alright, Lady. I let her in,” the guy from before told her, but it was making Becky more upset. She couldn’t say she hated Linda for using her money for the worse because hate was a very strong word, but Linda definitely did _not_ deserve to be so forward in line compared to other people, and she was gonna tell them.

“Only because she payed you! I saw it! That’s called a bribe, sir, and it’s illegal…or it should be.”

“And they say _blondes_ are the dumb ones,” Linda made a sudden remark, and though it hurt Becky, she chose to ignore her.

“Did you ever think about the people behind you? The hard-working families of Hatchetfield who are counting on a Wiggly for the holidays? What if one of your neighbours, who’s been in line for _hours_ doesn’t get a doll because of a bribe _you_ took knowing it was wrong?”

She could see a flash of guilt in the guy’s eyes, and he looked away. “Come on, Lady, it’s one person. That’s one less doll.”

Only then did Linda turn back around to face them both. “Oh, oh no, one? No. I need _four_. I have four boys…four beautiful _blonde_ boys! They’re not going to share _one_ like some junkie children with a needle!”

That stirred a reaction from the crowd, and the back of the line was certainly suffering more than others. Linda Monroe wasn’t exactly the quietest person in the world.

Upon hearing the news, Michael scoffed, looking down. John had asked him to go and get one of the dolls for testing purposes, and he couldn’t say no to the general. Since The Apotheosis, him, John and Paul had all kept in touch and had become extremely close. He’d quit his job at CCRP and started working at PEIP full time. It was the best decision he’d ever made. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Gary looking down at him.

“Micah, there are 800 dolls, remember? And we are only the…ninth and tenth people in line. So, unless someone buys 100 dolls each, we’re guaranteed to get one,” he explained, and Michael relaxed slightly nodding.

“I want to impress John.”

“He’s already impressed with you.” Gary smiled softly and Micah forced one, returning to checking his phone, his right hand in his pocket to keep warm.

Becky turned against her usual personality then, choosing to act out rather than stay quiet. £Linda! Do you really think your children are better than everybody else’s?”

“In so many words, _yes!”_ Linda said, earning boos and various other jeers from the line. She rolled her eyes again, ignoring them. “Oh, shut up! I hope you don’t get a Wiggly! I hope you fucking die.” Then she came to the realisation about something that wasn’t adding up. “What are you doing her, anyway? You don’t even have children, thank God. Imagine a second Becky Barnes walking the street.”

“For your information, I’m here for the patients at St Damien’s Paediatrics wing. Kids who are gonna be spending this Christmas in a hospital bed.” When Linda spat down upon Becky’s job, and also about the unfortunate kids in her wing of the hospital, she became even more upset. She loved her job, and she loved her kids, and she didn’t like Linda, and Linda had no right to comment on anything. “There’s a little girl there, Bridgette, she lost her eyesight in an accident, a _horrible_ accident-.”

“Well, my _children_ were accidents!” She interrupted, thinking back to her kids. River was 11 years old. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who the biological father of her eldest son was, because it certainly wasn’t Gerald. “You don’t see _me_ pushing my problems on to everybody else, do you? Unlike you. Trying to stand up for yourself…if only you could have stood up against your dreadful husband.” That soon shut her up, and Linda laughed again. “Isn’t that why you stayed? Because you’re a coward, and a boring one at that. Everyone knew what was happening, they _saw_ what was happening, and nobody found it in them to care enough about you.” She smiled again, turning back around, becoming frustrated with her husband yet again. “Oh, stop crying, Gerald! I wasn’t talking to _you!”_

Meanwhile, down the line, Tom Houston was making his way upwards, much to the displeasure of everyone else who’d been waiting. He continued to be as polite as possible until he reached the middle of the line, approaching a woman with red hair and a greyish coat. “Hey, Miss? You think I can get your spot in line, I’ve got twenty bucks spare, it’s for my kid, he just lost his mom last year-“ He caught a glimpse of her eyes as she turned around and blinked. “Becky Barnes?” She asked, and her eyes widened too, and she seemed to freeze, as did he.

This was no ordinary reunion. Everyone in Hatchetfield had known about the tragedy of Tom Houston and Becky Barnes, and it was one of the examples not to follow the stereotypes you were made for. An older man, around middle age, was one of the people who’d listened in to their story in extreme detail and pointed at them both. “It’s Becky Barnes!” He said, nodding, as the guy in the red jumper looked at him.

“And Tom Houston! Didn’t they date in high school?”

“God, don’t remind me.” Linda said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “While he was on the field playing that stupid football game of his, she was in that skimpy outfit, cheering him on. What is the appeal?!”

“I don’t know.” The guy in the red sweater shrugged.

“Well, does Becky recognise him?” The man in blue asked, and Linda shrugged.

“I don’t think so. They’re not exactly the slimmest now, are they? Especially Tom. He’s put on a _lot_ of weight since high school. Whoever would want to date him now would be out of their mind.” A taller guy in a beanie spoke, standing behind the man in red.

“I heard that he was drafted to Afghanistan twice, and he’s now a severe alcoholic. I also heard that the cops were called on him because his son was found in the middle of Clivesdale while he drove home after a long day at the bar.”

“My God.” The man in red said, a look of pity in his eyes, but Linda shrugged him off.

“Don’t pity him. He doesn’t deserve it. He chose to marry into the Perkins family. It’s Karma.” She said, turning back to her phone, as Becky finally began to speak.

“Hi Tom!” She said enthusiastically, hiding the hurt Linda had set upon her.

“Tom Houston,” he reintroduced as if she’d forgotten who he was after so long.

“I remember who you are Becky. I mean, I’m Becky! Becky Houston! I mean-“ she became flustered, her pale cheeks turning pink, but Tom managed to laugh it off.

“No, no, you’re Becky Barnes,” he reminded, smiling gently, and she seemed to relax, keeping a smile on her face.

“I’ve been good.”

Meanwhile, on the other side of the line, a guy in a checkered cap turned around, keeping one hand in his pocket. Beside him was a homeless guy and both Michael and Gary. “Ya know, I heard Tom’s been seein’ things.” He declared, and Michael rolled his eyes.

“Only ghosts, only the shadows of his former soldiers. It’s what the field does to you.” Michael shrugged, returning to his phone.

“It’s called PTSD,” Gary reminded, and both the homeless guy and the man in front of him shrugged it off, telling them to ‘forget about it.’

“Well, has anybody P-T-seen her hubby?” He asked, smirking at his own joke, and Michael looked up, pointing at him.

“One, nice pun, two, I actually heard he ran off to Clivesdale with a mistress of his.

“And I can see why,” the guy said, as Gary piped up.

“I’m just saying he had a reason to. She isn’t as hot as she was in high school.” That caused Michael to turn sharply on his heel, glaring up at him.

“But they’ve got that spark in their eyes again! It’s coming back! Ya know, that same seductive type you get in your eyes?” The checkered cap guy spoke, and Michael rolled his eyes.

“I definitely know what you’re on about.”

“But they’re both on the sales rack,” the homeless guy, who hadn’t spoken until then, pointed out, and everyone else nodded. “They aren’t exactly the most paid in Hatchetfield. She’s a nurse, he’s unemployed.”

“They’re spent.” Gary said, Michael continuing for them.

“They are _cooked.”_

“They are done.” The four said at once in agreement.

“Wait! Something’s on his mind!” The guy in a beanie pointed out, maybe too loudly as he shuffled back to get a closer look, his half of the line following.

This caught the attention of the other half, who did the same thing, peering over each other to get a glimpse.

“Are they gonna start saying what’s actually bothering them?” The homeless guy asked, and everyone collectively groaned.

“This is fucking painful!” Michael said, going back to his phone.

“For who, Tom or Beck?!” Someone upfront shouted, and Michael shrugged.

“Maybe it’s us!” And the line laughed.

“Yes, but hold on, what do you say when you love each other?” The man in blue asked, his voice slightly muffled to those further back.

“No, he’s got a point. What _do_ you say when years have passed and you both got married to other people even though it’s extremely clear that you still have feelings for the other?” The man in red looked up to Becky and Tom, and then his eyes trailed over to Gary and Michael. Michael looked away awkwardly, and Gary went to fix his collar.

“When their buffering stops and they become human again, I wanna know what they say.” The man in the cap said, and everyone else nodded, paying closer attention.

Neither Tom nor Becky had seemed to notice that the line around them had moved so they were the centre of attention, far too invested with the other’s company. “It’s cold out!” Tom said, and Becky nodded.

“Oh, nothin’ really!”

“How’re things?”

“Haven’t seen it!”

Another groan surfaced from everyone, each individual shouting about how this was an indefinite train wreck, and how nothing was going to come out of this in a positive way.

“A train wreck is _always_ my favourite!” Linda exclaimed, looking directly at Gary and Michael again, but they didn’t seem to notice.

“Give me _my_ tub of popcorn.” The guy in a beanie said, and Michael let a devilish glint fill his eye. He slipped his phone into his pocket and cupped his hands around his mouth.

“JUST SKIP TO THE FUCKING!” He shouted, and Gary looked at him, shocked and ashamed, and Becky only looked over to the scene momentarily confused.

“She would _never!”_ The homeless guy said, before laughing.

“Either way, this is torture porn.” The cap guy said, and everyone nodded.

“I think I’ll step in and save her, at least let give em some advice!” The red sweater man said, and Linda scoffed.

“ _You_ don’t have half of a chance, bitch.” Linda said, grabbing his arm, pulling him back.

“Can someone flip the switch already?” Gary asked, looking at the time on his own phone, mumbling under his breath.

Then came the loud gasps and claps that came from the crowd. “Look! Look there, she looked at his crotch!” The cap guy said, and Micah looked, noticing Tom’s eyes flick down to Becky’s-

“He looked at her boobs! It’s all over now, guys!” Micah shouted, and everyone laughed.

“They’re walking on a wire or a _really_ fine line.” The beanie guy added, as both Tom and Becky looked around, almost aware of the situation.

“Have we been caught?” The blue jacket guy said, and Linda gasped, clutching her phone to her chest.

“Is she looking at _mine?!”_

But nobody replied to Linda at all, listening to what Tom and Becky had to say.

“Look, Becky, you look great.”

“Thanks, Tom, so do you.” She smiled sweetly, moving back to their places in line, having noticed they’d moved back against the wall. “Are you shopping for your kid?”

“Nah, I’m shopping for myself.” He lowered his voice, smiling. “I like dolls.” Becky giggled at him and Tom shook his head. “I’m joking. I don’t.”

“I missed you.” Becky cut him off, and Tom almost went pale. More people around them gasped, some cheering, and some feeling utter relief. When Tom didn’t reply, Becky cleared her throat and looked at him. “What did you say?”

“Oh, nothing. No, not nothing actually uh….” He thought for a moment before blinking. “Oh, I must’ve forgotten what I was going to say.”

Everyone returned to what they were doing, many exchanging numbers and continuing to strike up conversation. The couple of Becky Barnes and Tom Houston had almost managed to unite a group of people on an island where unity was almost impossible. Things seemed to be working out after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa these chapters are getting longer and longer man fucking hell
> 
> anyways. Mr Michael icacks went absolutely feral, and Mrs Monroe is not being subtle at her hatred toward both michael and/or Gary. 
> 
> also, by the way, everyone is bestest buddy wuds after this, and also michael and mr papa ed are best BROS now like no homo but ur hair is so soft and shit like that and it makes gary jealous k bye
> 
> I TURN 15 TOMORROW WHICH IS IN AN HOUR IT'S 22:57 IM SO EXCITED I MIGHT BE A SNIGGLE THIS TIME TOMORROW


	23. Our Doors Are Open/Feast Or Famine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riots. That's it. Riots. And the capitalist rat man decides to help lex at the end of smth i dont know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a part where you see micah's internal thought process. it's his conversion, don't worry/..

Lex sighed from the distance she was at as she listened to the gossip around her, crushing the cigarette under her boot. She checked the time on her phone and slid it into her workplace jacket pocket. She turned to Ethan, taking his chin gently and pulling him down. “Have fun, Mr Kringle.”

“Shut the fuck up, Lex.” He smiled, gazing into her eyes.

“If you dare let anything happen to my sister, I’ll find you and kill you and spit on your grave with no remorse.”

“Okay, babe, I get it!” He laughed, gently kissing her. “I ain’t gonna let anythin happen to Banana. I’m a good protector.”

“Yeah? Then protect yourself. I’m on shift.” She pecked his lips, before letting him go and slipping back inside the store, where she met with Frank. “Not that fucking song.”

“I’ll do what I want in my own store, thank you, now get those doors open!” Frank encouraged, holding a note out to her, and Lex sighed, having no choice but to take it.

She unlocked the doors, and stood at the front of the queue, reading off of the note that Frank had given her. “All right, people, the doors are now opening.” She could hear the excited news spreading down the line, claps and cheers arising as she continued to talk, hoping they’d hush as she did so they could get the full information. “Please enter the store in an orderly fashion. For those of you here to buy a Tickle-Me Wiggly, you can get those at the checkout counter. But remember, those are first-come, first-serve, so stay in line.” She opened the doors fully, and the line of adults started walking inside.

She rolled her eyes, and then she heard music over the intercom, watching Frank dramatically walk over to her, holding the other door open, as he sang a greeting to the customers who we were walking in.

“ _Welcome to Toy-Zone, it’s world renowned. The palace for all of your undergrown. It’s a pageant, for the gallant, and parents who are slightly unbalanced.”_ Frank sang directly at Tom Houston as he walked in. _“We’re slashing prices, cause you’ve got vices, that come in a variety of sizes. You see a deal, I see a meal, but only one of us is getting a steal._ ” He eyed Lex up and down again, and she rolled her eyes deep into the back of her head.

He then proceeded to follow the line down to the barriers set in place for the queues to line up, and Lex had no choice but to follow her manager. “ _Did you know if you spend money, your kids’ll love you, maybe. We’re slashing prices! It’s brutality! Makes me question my morality. Cause our doors are open, to the public, don’t you want it?_ _”_ He then proceeded to gesture to himself before smiling. “ _For us capitalists, we are honest, come for the scope and grandeur. When our doors burst open! Trampling is part of the allure! Yes, our doors are open to you.”_

He then moved to the other shelves and began to point to various different products, and unusually, nobody seemed to notice. “ _You could’ve shopped any day, but you chose today. it’s no wonder, here’s your number, know your place in line! You’ll pay to move up? I’ll never skim off the top, it’s also advisable that we’re not liable for anyone who dies!”_ He smiled as he moved along the queue, singing to himself, ignoring Lex’s toxic boredom. “You’ll gladly give me money? _I’ll gladly take your money now!_ You want the doll with the tummy? _Oh, don’t we all! And here is how you get the very thing you want!”_

He manoeuvred his way around the crowd, continuing to sing about the truth, and he knew Lex wouldn’t have a choice but to join in with the song in a moment. After all, _he’d_ made her learn it. “ _The highest of holidays, comes but once a year, and I’m not talking ‘bout the fat man and his reindeer. It’s the crème brulee, following the turkey day…”_

 _“Which requires a bottle of pepper spray,”_ Lex sang reluctantly, and Frank smiled more.

_“Did you know, you’ll spend money? Four hundred on average, quite seriously. It’s a factoid, you can’t escape, boy! Remember all your cheques are null and void When our doors are open!  
Your republic is on the market; your net worth is in my back pocket! And it weighs my pants down! As our doors thrust open! I’m your annual entrepreneur! Yes, our doors are open, oh are doors are open, yes our doors are open!”_

He turned to Lex, and Lex rolled her eyes, turning back to her manager, finally participating in the choreography and the song, like he wanted her to. At least she wouldn’t get fired. _“Give us your fucking money, give us your fucking cash! Give us your fucking money, it’s where it’s at, oh, I-I-I like to touch-touch-touch my money!”_

 _“Did you know, if you spend money? Your kids’ll love you maybe, they’re slashing prices,”_ Lex continued to sing while Frank caught his breath, heading towards the checkout counter.

 _“It’s insanity!”_ Frank shouted, for all to hear, and took his place beside Lex, as they sang the final part together.

 _“Do they have any morality? When our doors are open!”_ The song finally finished, and people continued to queue, and Frank finished up his speech.

“Thank you very much for your generosity, your donations are gladly accepted, good morning!” He smiled as the first customer stepped forwards completely. He already knew he was going to get a good price from this. “Oh, look! A valued customer! Good morning, Sherman! Can I get you a Tickly Wiggly?”

“It’s a Tickle- _Me_ Wiggly, Frank.” Lex corrected, lighting a cigarette inside of the store that time, not giving a shit what her manager said.

Sherman, the older guy in the blue jacket, seemed to ignore that, and nodded firmly. “Yes. In fact, I would like all of them.”

That seemed to send a wave of shock through the store as people came to a standstill, the entire mall, it seemed, falling silent. “Wait, what?”

“What did that guy just say?” The guy behind Linda asked, and Frank blinked again, looking at him. “Excuse me, did my ears deceive me, or did you say you’d like to buy _all_ of them?”

“Yes,” Sherman said, nodding, and Frank’s eyes seemed to open with joy.

“As in, the entire stock of 850 Wigglys at $49.95 each? That’s-“

“$44,999, including sales tax.” He began to reach into the front of his bag, about to pull out his wallet, while others stood and listened in.

Brown eyes swirling with glee, Frank leaned across the counter, smiling. “Would you like them gift wrapped?” He asked, almost as if he were talking to a young child, and Sherman nodded before Linda started to build up a storm.

“No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! He can’t buy _all_ the dolls! Some of us have been waiting in line _forever!”_ She whined, putting her foot down physically, gesturing to the others in line, though she couldn’t have cared about them in any other scenario.

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” The guy in the baseball cap shouted up, and the homeless guy behind him spoke up with the answer.

“I think someone’s trying to buy all the dolls!”

“ _All_ …of the dolls?” Micah asked to himself, falling quiet, and he felt Gary’s hand on his shoulder.

“You’ll get one, I promise.”

“All…of the dolls.” Micah confirmed with himself, snapping his eyes to look up to the cash registers.

“Well, I better get one!” The man in the red sweater said, and everyone else nodded alongside him.

Frank shook his head, not an ounce of sympathy across his face, as he looked back to Linda. “Sorry, lady, first come, first serve, all sales are final. Could I interest you in a Gummy Bug Maker?”

Linda shook her head, steam practically pouring out of her ears, as she smacked Sherman hard on the shoulder. “Oh, you should be _ashamed_ of yourself, you disgusting little pervert! What’s a grown man going to do with 850 dolls?!”

Sherman, instead, giggled, and began to list all of the reasons that he was going to use the dolls for. “Well, _one_ will stay in the box for prosperity, one will be used exclusively for bath time! One will be-“

“This is unbelievable!” Linda cried out, Sherman continuing to list each individual reason he could.

“Hey, lady, if you’re gonna make with the hysterics, take it to Macy’s!” Frank said, shaking his head as he stood back up straighter, clasping his hands on the counter.

“How _dare_ you!” She shouted and pressed her phone back to hear ear, fairly annoyed with the situation, but to an unbelievably unnecessary extent. “Are you hearing this, Gerald? _Yes_ , call my attorney!”

“I will tickle one doll, and one doll…will tickle me.” Sherman said and smirked, acting out the words, making Lex shudder. She did feel guilty, in a way, because she had one of the dolls in her bag, which she was hiding under the counter herself, but it was her only ticket out of Hatchetfield. Her only ticked out of her shitty caravan with Ethan and Hannah…Ethan and Hannah…

“Listen, I’ve been waiting here all night, and I’m not leaving here without a Wiggly!” Checkered hat guy shouted out so Frank could hear him, and Micah nodded, siding with him.

“And I’m in a _fucking_ hurry!” He shouted until he heard Gary grumble, moving out of his spot in line and down towards Linda.

“Hi, Gary Goldstein, Attorney at Law, I was a little further back in line.” He said, a pure look of disgust in his eyes, directed towards Linda. He could have dropped Mrs Monroe as his client, but she payed so damn well, it was hard to let her go.

“Gary, thank God,” Linda said, and to add to her dramatic flair, she placed his hands on her shoulders, leaning against him.

Gary chose to ignore this, already feeling Micah’s eyes burning into Gary, but he had to do his job no matter what. “Are you aware that my client, Linda Monroe, suffers from a rare, little-understood anxiety disorder? And any lasting medical disorders which may arise from stress caused on these premises are _your_ liability, sir? I hope you have your finances in order! Get ready for audits! Audits up your ears! Audits in your yin-yang! Audits out your wazoo!”

“All right, all right!” Frank said, slapping his hands down on the counter, breaking Lex out of her slight trance, causing her to flinch harshly, which gave Gary an opportunity to go back to his spot in line.

“Micah I-“

“Don’t, Gary.” Micah said lowly, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the scene before him.

“All right! We’re gonna try and be fair! We’re gonna put a limit on how many Wigglys each customer can buy!” There was a pause as Frank thought, wincing as he came to the conclusion. “One per person, you happy now?!” Everyone seemed to be satisfied with that answer, but there was always one.

“No!” Linda cried again, looking at the cashier who she wouldn’t learn the name of, even though it was written on the name tag right in front of her. “Of all the arbitrary numbers, why _one_?! It should be a nice even number that we can all agree upon!...Like four!” That caused a lot of disturbance in the crowd, people booing at the statement, but the blonde-haired lady simply shrugged it off. “Well, you can buy less if you want.”

It was Sherman’s turn to speak up again, looking at Frank, now frustrated himself. “I thought all sales were final?”

“Sorry, you’re not getting all the Wigglys, ya sicko!” Frank exclaimed, which seemed to stir the older customer more.

“Well, now you’ll be hearing from _my_ attorney!”

That prompted Gary to run to the front of the line again, annoyed today would be a series of going backwards and forwards. “HIGARYGOLDSTEINATTORNEYATLAW, are you _aware_ that my client, Sherman Young, is being discriminated against-“

“Shut up, Gary!” Linda shouted, grabbing Gary and kicking him directly in the genital area.

“Oh! Right in the subpoena!” He exclaimed, stumbling off, in a severe amount of pain for a man.

That started something up in Micah. Seeing all this pain in the world, all the fighting, it was unnecessary. Adults couldn’t act like adults, and instead chose to act like rabid animals with some disease. Disease. The Apotheosis. The Apotheosis. _John._ That’s why Micah was there that morning, for his boss, because his boss _wanted_ a Wiggly, and Micah _wanted_ John to be proud of him.

Micah wanted to be honoured.

“Alright, forget this line!” He said, feeling a slight thumping in his veins that wasn’t a pulse. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a crisp amount of money, totalling to $500. “I’ll give you $500 for _one_ Wiggly!” He shouted, gaining Frank’s attention.

“Now, _there’s_ an idea! Would _you_ like it gift wrapped?” He asked, his eyes lighting up once more, until the guy in red stepped forward.

“Wait a minute, I’ll give you $700!”

“No, everyone back in line!” Lex said, stepping around the corner and stepping into business.

“Shut the fuck up!” Micah shouted, his nose twitching as he shoved Lex a little _too_ forcefully away from him, her hitting the ground hard. _That’s John’s daughter. John. Honour. Pride. Honour. Pride. John. Honour. Me._

“Get your hands off her!” Tom exclaimed, rushing forward to help Lex up.

“Fuck you!” Micah shouted again, feeling another rush of heat surge through him.

“You okay?” Tom asked softly, looking Lex over, and he could tell she wasn’t when she said that she was fine. She shuffled back to the counter and hung her head.

Frank didn’t care. People were placing bets; people were paying _more_ than the retail price. This was one hell of a Black Friday. “Show me the money, people! Show me the money!”

Micah dug around in his pockets, pulling out more cash. He counted it up quickly in his head, holding it up. “$800!”

“$3!” The homeless guy shouted, and the man with the beanie offered to use coupons, earning disgusted looks from mainly everyone.

“This ain’t right!” The checkered hat guy shouted loudly. “I lost my job when the plant closed! I can’t afford three $500 for a doll! A Wiggly is$49.95! I gotta save all my money to pay for my rent, for my squirrel!”

“Sorry, Ed, the price _just_ went up. Supply and demand is a wonderful thing. Whoever pays the most for a Wiggly, _gets_ a Wiggly.” Frank told the man, and he then saw a vicious look in Ed’s face.

“Well, if you’re not gonna sell me that doll, then I guess I’m just gonna have to take it!” With that, Ed ran forward, a small squirrel jumping out of his pockets, scurrying under the counter as Ed jumped, grabbing one of the Wigglys as Frank protested. He grabbed it successfully, and the squirrel climbed back up his owner’s leg, back into the hoodie pocket.

“That guy just got a Wiggly! He’s got a Wiggly doll!” The homeless guy shouted, and Lex blinked.

“He has a squirrel?” She asked herself, clearly confused, but nobody else seemed to notice.

“If he gets one, I want four.” Linda said, waving her hand as she went to grab one from over the counter as well.

“Give me that doll!” Micah shouted, running forward with the crowd. 

It ended up out of Ed’s hands, and into Tom’s somehow, and he admired the plushie closely. “It’s mine! It’s mine, and it’ll belong to my boy as _soon_ as I’m home!”

“No, it’s mine!” The red sweater guy shouted, snatching it off the ex-shop teacher, tickling it’s stomach. “It’s my little _toy.”_

Then Micah managed to grab it, and he felt a spark of hope in his veins, but Sherman lunged at him, grabbing the doll by the arm, and Micah was _not_ having it.

“It’s mine! It’s one of my 850 little boyfriends!” Sherman protested, and Micah snarled, he snarled and pulled the doll back against his chest.

“It’s for my boss!” He argued, as the beanie guy swooped in and took it right from Micah’s arms.

“It’s mine!” He shouted and looked around the way, everyone seeming to speak in sync.

“It’s my fucking money to spend!” Everyone shouted, lunging at each other, grabbing what and who they could. Nobody was showing any unity anymore, just hatred. After all, that’s what Hatchetfield was, a source for hatred that spouted wherever you walked.

“You never should settle for the lifetime that is handed to you!” Ed shouted, running around and from people, avoiding the hungry shoppers that were holding him accountable for the start of this mess.

“There’s always a line to be cut!” Someone else shouted, and someone finished their sentence by saying ‘and someone to barrel through!’

Again, everyone seemed to speak in unison again as they started to shout rhythmic words at each other by saying, “and if you should find that you’re about to get the short of the stick…”

“Take what you want?” Frank asked his colleague, looking at her as he ducked behind the counter, putting the security on, and Lex nodded.

“Return what you get,” she finished, and heard someone punch. She grabbed her bag and held it tight to her chest, earning a suspicious look from Frank.

“Lex, what’s in the bag?”

“It’s nothing, Frank, just something really valuable to my sister and I.”

“Are you alright?” He asked, and it took her by shock. He’d never really cared before. He never cared at _all._ She swallowed, wiping her eyes, her hands coming away damp as she hid her shaky breathing.

“I’m scared, Frank. I don’t know why I’m telling you because...you don’t care. But I’m living with these two guys, John and Xander, they took me and my little sister in at the end of July and they’re going to adopt us…but me and my boyfriend, we want to go to California and…they both work for the military and I just feel so shitty.”

“Look, Lex, if we’re quick enough, we can slip out the back exit and run. Where’s your sister?” Frank asked, and Lex looked at him.

“You’re being serious?” She asked, and he nodded.

“Look, I know I like money, but you clearly need to get out of here. If we’re gonna die, I want to do one redeeming thing for myself. So, let me help you.”

“Why?” She asked, suddenly getting very defensive, and Frank shook his head.

“Because if we stay here, we’ll die. Now let’s get out of here before _they_ do!” He said, referring to the shoppers.

She took a breath, nodded, threw her bag on her back, and crawled to the staff room, where she, alongside Frank, ran. “We need to get to the Cineplex. It’s where my boyfriend and sister are.”

“Lead the way,” Frank said, and Lex nodded.

This was not the ideal version of Black Friday they wanted. Maybe California wasn’t happening after all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha gary hah
> 
> ANYWAY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I JUST GOT DONE WATCHING BLACK FRIDAY FOR THE 54TH TIME, I'M 15 NOW AND HAVE A SNIGGLE SHIRT, IM A SN I G G L E


	24. Somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cineplex baby and Ollie and Lucas make a return, and also an improv type thing between mr wilbur cross and mrs linda monroe at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh,,, a very mild implied sex scene at the end as well. sorry bout that. 
> 
> tw:  
> stabbing  
> segs

Still, Lex didn’t give up hope. She ran and ran and ran as fast as her feet would carry her. She couldn’t stop. If she did, Hannah would be put in danger. _Ethan_ would be put in danger. She wasn’t exactly saying that Ethan was her ticket out to California, but in a way, he was. He cared so much about her, and she couldn’t find it in her to admit that she felt the same. Maybe it was the years of abuse that she’d had to sustain, or maybe it was the denial someone cared about her for _her_ and not for her body, like everyone else on the island.

She knew Frank was close beside her because he continued to ask her if she was okay while they ran. She didn’t reply to him, because her mind was focused on her little sister. If Hannah got hurt, she would never forgive herself. She knew that, if it was Ethan’s fault, they’d have a fight so extreme that they would end. She knew that if Ethan tried to protect her, got hurt himself, and Hannah still ended up getting hurt in any way, the guilt he would feel would lead to distance in his and Lex’s relationship. Either way, that would mean no California, and no freedom.

Lex did feel selfish, because Ethan had done so much for her, and having to take care of Hannah most of the time was one of the more frequent favours that she asked for. He never turned her down, and she was grateful for him. But did she love him? She couldn’t tell. Deep down, she knew she was lying to herself, that he loved him for him like how he loved her for her, yet she refused to acknowledge it, keeping it in the tightly protected box at the back of her mind. She had other things to worry about than love. Like her sister. Like her soon-to-be adopted parents.

Fuck. She knew Xander and John worked for the military, and she knew they were both field agents. What if they got called out to help with this scenario if the cops did nothing? What if they were the reinforcement Hatchetfield so desperately needed? What if they got hurt? What if they got _killed?_

She forced _that_ thought to the back of her mind as well as they approached the Cineplex. She took a breath, spitting on the floor to get the taste of dread out of her mind, placing her hands on her knees. She panted, letting the tightness in her chest subside, as she looked to her manager. “They’re in there.”

“Then we’d better be quick. The shoppers are only down a few floors,” Frank pointed out, and Lex nodded, entering the Cineplex without another word.

* * *

Roughly, half an hour ago, things had been _much_ different when Ethan had walked up the stairs, Hannah clutching his hands, as he looked at her. “Hey, banana. You ready to go see a movie?” He asked her gently, crouching down to her level, running his thumb over her knuckles, and her other hand flew up to press the ‘magic hat’ down on her head. She shook her head and looked into his eyes.

“Bad Blood, Cross, Black and White.” She repeated, and he sighed softly.

“I know you’re really scared, but you wanna know a little secret?” He asked, and Hannah tilted her head slightly, and Ethan leaned in. “I actually was the lead role in this movie. Lexi don’t know that; she only _thinks_ it. She never looked at the cast. I wanted to show you first. You wanna go see my movie?”

“Ethan movie,” Hannah said before she blinked and nodded. That prompted Ethan to smile and he stood back up again.

“Then we better head inside, hadn’t we?” He asked, and he waited for her confirmation before pushing the door open, stepping inside. Immediately, he noticed how empty it was, and he swallowed nervously. Sure, even _he_ knew his movie was shitty, but he depended on the movie to at least have some viewers so he could get payed. Still, he took Hannah up to the desk, where he noticed Liam? Was it Liam? His cousin’s boyfriend, standing at the desk in the standard uniform, asleep. Ethan rolled his eyes and slammed his hand down on the counter, causing Hannah to flinch, and Liam to wake. “Sleeping on the job, Liam?”

“My name isn’t Liam…” the kid said, yawning, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes, before putting them back on and looking at Ethan. He gulped and Ethan smiled slightly as the kid typed something into the computer. “Hi, welcome to the Lakeside Mall Cineplex, how can I help you?” He asked, his voice shaking, almost as if he was afraid of Ethan. Who couldn’t be when he looked identical to Ollie, just slightly taller, and more like he would fight you if you blinked wrong.

“Yeah, can I get two tickets to that new flick.”

“Which one?” The teen asked again, scrolling to find the movie they wanted to see.

“Santa Claus Is Goin To High School, dumbass, my face is plastered on the posters.” Ethan said, inspecting his hand, frowning at some of the chipped polish. He’d need to repaint them when he got home.

Liam looked at him questioningly, almost as if he didn’t believe Ethan before he sighed and clicked on the movie. “That would be two tickets to _Santa Claus Is Going to High School,_ that’ll be $27.50.”

“What? Are you kiddin’ me?” Ethan laughed, but by the look on Liam’s face, he wasn’t. “Listen, Liam-“

“My name isn’t Liam.”

“I will give you fifteen dollars instead! Fifteen dollars _just_ for you! And you wanna know somethin extra? It’s as high as I’ll go, so _fuck_ you.” Ethan said, putting the cash on the counter, and he watched Liam pick them up with an almost shaking hand.

“Uh, Ethan, okay…” he built up as much courage as he could to defend himself as he looked at him. “I don’t set the prices; you need to pay the full price or else I can’t let you inside! I mean, I’m just a high school kid trying to make ends meet and a little bit more cash!”

“Yeah?” Ethan asked, letting go of Hannah’s hand, looking at him. “Well guess what? You will _take_ the fifteen dollars, and you can go and spend it on however many condoms you like to fuck my cousin, but I am _not_ paying thirty dollars for two fucking tickets to see my own movie.”

“Ethan, please, just pay up-“

“And you mentioned you’re a high school kid huh? With me goin off the assumption you go to HH like me and Ollie, I will storm in there after Thanksgiving break, find you at school, cram you in a locker and-“ He grabbed Liam’s collar, pulling him towards him, only to be stopped very shortly after by a sharp ‘ _hey!’_ that came from the door. Ethan spun around and saw Sam there, alongside one of his coworkers. Ethan immediately let Liam go, placing down another fifteen dollars he shouldn’t have, and growled at him. “Enjoy fucking my cousin, Liam!”

“My name is _Lucas!”_ He hissed, as Ethan took Hannah’s hand again, walking into the theatre. Lucas sighed, looking at the cops who’d walked in. “Is there anything I may assist you with?”

“Nah, Black Friday just got a little bit boring.” Sam admitted, brushing some dust off his shoulder. “Listen, kid, if that kid gives you any more shit, you know which number to call.”

“Right.” Lucas said and nodding, pretending he hadn’t watched Sam be a total dick to everyone back in July.

Then, the other cop’s radio turned on, and he lifted it up. “Yeah?” He asked, listening in to the other line. He grabbed the arm of his boss, looking at him. “There’s been a murder, Toy-Zone.” He said, and Sam’s face dropped.

“Shit. Kid, you get outta here!” Sam said, as both cops turned and rushed out of the Cineplex.

Lucas, entirely baffled by the sudden events, locked up the register, and switched off the computer, turning around, only for hands to come in front of his glasses. Lucas jumped and he heard the familiar laugh of his boyfriend behind him. He sighed a sigh of relief and spun around to look at him. “Ollie.”

“Hi, Luca.” Ollie said, hugging him gently. “I got off shift early. Things are going _crazy_ downstairs. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

“Yeah…” he laughed nervously, leaning against Ollie’s chest. “Your cousin just came in and gave me shit.”

“Again?”

“He called me Liam.”

“He’s still in here?”

“Yeah, he went to go and see the new Santa movie with his girlfriend’s sister.”

“So, he’s in that theatre?”

“Yep.” Lucas said, as Ollie let him go, rummaging in his pocket, pulling out $30.

“Then let’s make this a date.” He smiled, grabbing Lucas’ hand, tugging him forward. He could feel the radiating smile of his boyfriend behind him as he pushed the door open, to see Ethan cuddling Hannah. “Oh wow. He’s _really_ good with kids…” Ollie said, stopping at the door, which drew the attention of the older teen, who turned and looked at his cousin.

“And what the fuck are you doing here?” Ethan asked, looking directly at Ollie, who smiled proudly, squeezing Lucas’ hand tighter.

“I’m on a date.”

“Hey! You had better not fuck while I’m on screen!” He shouted to his cousin, who took Lucas’ hand, pulling him down to some seats further away from them.

Ethan rolled his eyes at the pair, continuing to hold Hannah close to him. He really wanted a baby of his own. He knew he was too young, but he knew he’d be an amazing dad. Yes, he could be an asshole at times, or most of the time, but he would never treat his child like that. He’d raise them to be the kindest kid around and punish them when it was right. He’d grown up in a shitty environment, and when he moved in with his uncle at 13, things hadn’t been much different. He still had a job at the garage with his dad, though he’d quit the day before. He wouldn’t need it now he was going to California with Lex.

Lex. His dream girl. Alexandra Megan Foster. Brown haired, brown eyes Alexandra, who didn’t put her trust in anyone. It was an honour for Ethan to call Lex his, if he was being honest. He loved to wrap his arms around her, and cuddle after long days. He loved to watch her continuously ramble about California, and he wouldn’t interrupt, he’d only smile. He loved to wrap his leather jacket around her while they walked home after late night dates, he loved to just be hers. He loved her.

Had he told her? Not yet. Because he knew she didn’t feel the same towards her, and yeah, it hurt, but he’d rather be hers without saying the dreaded L word than not be after telling it her. He did love her, and he thought she was perfect inside and out.

Maybe one day he’d tell her. Maybe.

He still cuddled Hannah close to him, though, as the trailers began to roll. He sighed as he heard Hannah mumbling anxiously to herself, so he peered down at her. “Hey, what’s shakin’ banana? You okay?” He asked gently, and Hannah looked up at him again, her eyes wide with fear.

“Bad place. Black and White! Two doors, not one! Bad blood!” She said, and Ethan frowned.

“I know, and I’m sorry we can’t be in California yet, so we have to stay in shitty Hatchetfield, but I just got the money for the doll off the buyer. We just gotta ship it and we’ll be away, and thank god, I needed the money. I sunk a grand into my old jalopy, cause I didn’t think it was gonna get us all the way to California? Now I’m a little low on funds…but don’t tell your sister I got no dough, okay? She’ll lose respect for me…” he smiled sadly. He did love Lex, but sometimes she thought a little too highly of him. Sometimes. He looked back to Hannah, and she looked up at him, and he continued to talk. “I know you’re nervous to leave home, but you gotta trust me. It’s gonna be _so_ much better for you once you’re outta there. And hey, maybe once you’re gone, maybe then your mom will realise that she gotta do better. And you trust Lex with this, right?”

“Uh-huh.” She said, nodding.

“And you believe, no matter how bad it looks right now, things will get better?”

Hannah shook her head again at that, looking away from Ethan. “Not better. Badder. _Much_ badder,” she insisted, and Ethan replayed her words in his head.

“What’s with that grammar? Even I know it’s _more_ badder,” he explained, only for the doors to burst open behind him, and two men rushed in. One had a zipped-up hoodie-type jacket, and wore a baseball cap, and the other had wild blonde hair and a beige trench coat. Ethan immediately felt unsafe, and stood up, Hannah following him. “What the hell is going on here- hey, are you okay?” He asked, approaching the one in the cap, genuinely concerned for them. The man, his eyes a vibrant shade of green, shook his head.

“No, I’m not okay!” He punched Ethan in the face, and Ethan couldn’t help but spit out the blood that gathered in his mouth. He stumbled back, and heard Hannah cry out about it, but before he could give instructions as to where to go, the guy in the trench coat got him from behind, stabbing him in the stomach with something. Tears sprung to Ethan’s eyes at the pain, but it didn’t stop. One of the two men pushed Ethan to the ground, and the one in the cap stood on Ethan’s chest, gradually adding pressure, as the trench coat guy crouched beside Ethan, tearing open his leather jacket as Ethan felt a tear fall down his face. “Please don’t kill me,” he whispered, as he felt the same sharp stabbing feeling in his gut, working his way up along his side. Ethan could tell he was losing blood quick.

Maybe he wasn’t getting to California.

He heard Ollie cry out, and Hannah be pulled away, down to the bottom of the theatre where Ollie and Liam had been sitting, and Ollie’s voice protesting against Lucas’ to try and help him.

Eventually, the guy with the cap got off of Ethan, and the trench coat guy was torn away from Ethan by someone who looked too much like a professional lawyer for him to trust. “Micah, calm down,” the person said, and the trench coat guy only growled, trying to fight in the lawyer’s arms.

This gave Ethan an opportunity to drag himself back to his chair. As he examined himself, he found out he had four stab wounds, but they felt like more. He took slow breaths, trying to keep conscious as he looked down to Ollie, who seemed just as panicked as Hannah. There was another sound of pain from beside Ethan, and it turned out the trench coat guy had also stabbed the lawyer, causing him to fall down to the ground. The two other men scoured the scene, and after finding that the thing they were looking for wasn’t there, they left.

Only then did Ollie run up beside Ethan. “Ethan- Ethan what-“

“Ring your dad, okay?” he said, his breathing shallow and gasp like. “Tell him I love him, okay?”

“No, no, you’re staying _awake.”_

“Ollie, please.” Keeping pressure on the stab wounds, which were in close proximity with each other, he grabbed Ollie’s arm with his free hand. “Ring Uncle Hidgy, tell him I love him and I’m sorry for being such a shit nephew. Tell him that he can sell all of my shit, and tell Lex- tell Lex I love her for me, okay?”

“Okay.” Ollie said, sitting in the chair beside Ethan.

“And Ollie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you. For gettin a job, for gettin a boyfriend, for comin out as gay. I know I never told you before, but I’m really fuckin proud of ya. I know I didn’t try hard enough to be a good cousin, but I love you too.”

Ollie didn’t care as he took his glasses off, wiping his eyes before he hugged Ethan. “I don’t want you to die, Ethan.”

“Ollie!” Lucas called from where he was standing with Hannah. “To your left!”

Ollie looked to his left to see a nurse, and Mr Houston standing with a Wiggly. Their eyes were not glowing green, which was good. The nurse gasped and rushed forward, to Ethan’s side, along with Mr Houston.

"Ollie, what happened, kid?" Mr Houston asked as he crouched in front of his former student.

“We all came in here to watch the movie; some lunatics came in and- _they stabbed Ethan!”_ He explained, tears continuing to fall down his face.

“Shit. Beck, how does he look?”

“Not too good…” The nurse, Beck…maybe Becky? confirmed. “Someone go get me a medic kit. I can stitch him up, but he’s pale and will probably need help getting out of here.”

“We can help him,” Tom said and stood back up, rushing to get the medical kit. When he returned, Ethan was slumped sideways, his hand still on his side, with Becky ripping open his shirt to access the wound, one hand of hers on Ethan’s neck. Ollie was sobbing beside him, and Tom feared for the worst.

He became even more concerned when the doors to the Cineplex flew open again, Lex and her manager standing there, and the first thing she saw was her boyfriend, close to dead, in her chair. He’d never heard a scream such as the one Lex let out, a hand clasping over her mouth. Time seemed to stand still as people began to mourn Ethan, even though he hadn’t taken his last breath. Her manager tried to console her, but she moved out of his arms. Gaining the courage, she sprinted forward to Ethan’s other side, taking his hand, which was colder than usual. They had to own up to the fact he probably wasn’t getting out of there alive.

They weren’t getting to California.

* * *

Leaving Toy-Zone, and heading to one of her favourite stores, unscathed, was Mrs Linda Monroe, empty handed aside from her iPhone, where she was speaking to Gerald. She walked down and into the clothing store. She figured, while the entire store was going crazy, she’d do a little bit of…borrowing. It was free if no one was around to stop her. She began to inspect the clothes as she walked. “Oh, Christ. Christ in Heaven! It’s madness in here, Gerald! Madness!” She paused to listen to Gerald speak, before disgust filled her face. “What? No! I’m not frightened…I’m annoyed. Because some _asshole_ took my doll and- and, and, _I had a hair appointment today!”_ She said, beginning to fake cry until she went to another section of the store, seeing a man dressed in full denim with his hair slicked back, holding a green apple in his hand. He smirked, leaning against the wall, as he looked at her.

“Well, well, well. Hello, naughty list.” He said, and it caught Linda off guard. He headed behind the cash register, leaning over the desk. “How you doin’ there, Linda?”

That caused her to back away, opening her purse, rummaging through it. “Stay back, whoever you are! I have pepper spray and I use it move than you could _ever_ imagine!” She stumbled over her words ever so slightly.

He, instead, laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, I don’t know if you wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna _fuck_ with me, Ms Monroe.” He pulled a chain out from under his waistcoat which contained what looked like dog tags attached to it. He showed her, pointing to himself. “I was a colonel once. And your pepper spray is right here.” He pulled it out of his pocket, and watched her eyes fill with shock.

“How did you-“

“Oh, don’t you worry about that now, Linda.” He said and smirked again, and it took her back even further.

“How do you know my name?” 

“Well, I know a whole heap about you!” He said as he stood up, walking back in front of the counter, not another person in sight. “I know _everything_ about you…and this town, ooh, _Hatchetfield!_ It sure is a special place, you understand?” He took a bite of his apple, pointing his finger towards Linda that time. “And you, little lady, _you_ are the most special person in it.”

“What do you want from me?!” She shouted at him, not adding the fact that she already knew that she was the most important person in Hatchetfield.

“Well, I wanna give you everything you ever _desired_. You see, I know why you want those Wiggly dolls. It’s the same reason only two of your four children are from Gerald.” He said and looked at her. “You want your lawyer, don’t you? Gary Goldstein. Because he’s the only person to satisfy you. So, go on, tell me what you want.”

Linda bit her lip, looking away from him. “I want…to be loved, just like everybody else…” when he started laughing, she became offended, standing up, meeting his eyes. “What? Is that a crime?”

“Oh, Linda, that’s the kinda bullshit you feed your therapist and your life coach!” He laughed louder, turning to face her. “Come on now. You don’t want love. Love requires effort, love requires dedication, and we both know you can’t love. Well…if you find the right person. And that’s Gary Goldstein, isn’t it? Because not only does he love you…he _adores_ you. He worships you. But he up and left you for Michael Icacks, the man mourning for his brother. The man mourning for my general. And I can help you get him back. But you just gotta do what you do best.”

“Shop?” She asked, taking in what he was telling her, and he cut her off.

“Be a mother!”

“Right!” Linda lifted up her phone, forgetting she hadn’t declined her and Gerald’s call. “Because I’m a _fabulous_ mother!”

“Exactly. And it’s the main reason why _you_ were chosen, a long while ago, to bring about the birth of a friendy-wend of mine. All you gotta do is open up your heart to his love.” He wrapped his arms around Linda’s waist, moving her closer to the counter as she asked, her voice shaking slightly, intimidated by the man, what he was doing. He closed his eyes, running his hands through her hair, throwing her hat on the counter, the doors to the store locking shut, and by the gasp he uttered, her vision was finally clouded by Wiggly.

“Do you see him, Linda?” He asked and smiled when she said she could.

“Good….good…” He said, turning her around, before placing her against the wall, moving to almost pin her as he heard the extremely angry voice of Gerald Monroe on the other line. He stared her down, and Linda pressed the phone to her ear, her eyes, now excited.

“Gerald, I must be going now,” she said, hanging up the phone. “You already know my name, what’s yours?”

“Call me Wilbur Cross.” He said, tilting her chin up. It didn’t take much more talking for them both to secure each other in a kiss, hands gripping fabric desperately.

Linda would be adored, and Wilbur would ensure she’d be without any issues. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i really went lets ensure nobody knows if ethan dies until take me back and also let's get linda and wilbur to fuck directly after ethan gets StabBEd. also gary continues to bleed out on the floor, f in the chat.


	25. Monsters and Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha mcnamander in the beginning, mentions of john/howard, and also the oval office is gAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know nothing about america, and all the websites i looked at told me different things, so for reference this is an alternate universe where i can do whatever the fuck i want, so here are the ages of the characters in my eyes
> 
> john: 35  
> xander: 35  
> secretary of defence: 38  
> secretary of state: 39  
> bob morris: 37  
> howard goodman: 37
> 
> oh yeah, also mentions of sex in the first scene, but that's only because xander was staring at johns ass

“So, it’s Black Friday,” John said, wiping the sleep from his eyes, burying into the crook of his husband’s neck again, resisting a yawn, shutting his eyes again.

“Stay awake, you.” Xander said, equally as tired as John was, running his hands through the thick amount of John’s tangled, golden hair.

John smiled, opening his eyes again. “Lex has just gone to work, Hannah’s with Ethan…you’re going to work… and I’m going to The Oval Office.”

“You’re what?” Xander asked, looking at him, and John hummed, confused.

“I told you?”

“You never told me.”

“I definitely told you.”

“John, I’d be sure if you told me you were heading to the _fucking_ Oval Office, and you never mentioned it.”

“Oh…well I’m going to The Oval Office. Surprise!” John said, grinning sheepishly, and Xander rolled his eyes.

“You were born blonde for a reason.”

“Hey,” John said, his grin dropping, glaring at his husband. “Does this look blonde to you?” He pointed to his hair, and Xander rolled his eyes.

“Nope.”

“So, your point is wrong, and I’m right, and I won this.” John pecked Xander on the lips, climbing out of Xander’s arms, pushing the covers off of him, and also off of Xander, earning a load groan from his husband. John smiled and headed over to their closet, grabbing his uniform, and beginning to change. “You’d better not be looking at my ass, Lieutenant.”

“Of course I’m going to look at your ass, John,” Xander said, his eyes closed as he pulled the covers over him. “Because your ass looks better out of your boxers, by the way.”

“What has gotten into you today?” John laughed, pulling on his trousers, looking over his shoulder at Xander. He watched Xander mumble sleepily as he stretched, pulling the covers tighter over him. John couldn’t help but smile.

“We both remember how last time turned out, John. I might as well make the most out of this,” he said, and yawned again.

John stripped himself of his pyjama shirt, pulling the covers off of Xander again, watching Xander groan out of protest. “Come on, sweetheart. You need to be at work in twenty minutes.”

“Fuck you,” Xander said, opening his eyes to see the sight of his shirtless husband, and John could see what he was thinking before Xander began to speak.

“Don’t get any ideas,” John said, kissing Xander’s forehead as he walked back over to finish changing.

“Come on, John. You walk over here shirtless, I’m gonna think you’re hot.”

“Keep it in your pants, Lee-McNamara.”

“Shut the fuck up, McNamara-Lee, you’re twice as bad,” Xander rubbed, his eyes, sitting up. “But you are pretty.”

“And so are you, but you don’t see me trying to seduce you all the time.”

Xander laughed then, shaking his head. “I never said I was trying to seduce you, so I win.” He stood, walking over to John, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Be safe on your journey. I want you home safe and sound.”

“I’ll be safe.” John said, buttoning up his collar. He turned and kissed Xander. “And then we’re going to discuss how we’re changing the timeline when I return, okay?”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too, and I’ll be at work by this afternoon.” With that, John slipped out of Xander’s arms and rushed out of the door, poking his head back around a few moments later. “Also, keep it down until we’re home. Then I’m all yours.” He blew a kiss to Xander before leaving for a final time. He heard the soft echo of Xander’s laugh around the house, and he could only think about how in love he truly was with him.

* * *

Hours later, in The Oval Office, were a total of four people sitting around a desk. The first of which was the Secretary of Defence, otherwise known as Eric Moore. He was the tallest, and thinnest, member of the group, and always tried to make himself known, ensuring he was noticed by the president at all times. Most of the time, he could be rude to any other member of the office aside from the three close to him.

The second was the Secretary of State, Nicole Roberts. She wore a maroon coloured blazer and dress pants with a white shirt, and had her reddish-brown hair cut into a neat shoulder-length bob. She was also the only established married member of the office, with a silver wedding band on her left ring finger. She was the only one to also openly talk about her wife and didn’t care what anybody else thought about it.

The third was Bob Morris, the president’s right hand man. He was the Vice President and took his job with pride. He was, by far, the bubbliest person on the team, and only meant well. He had a heart full of gold and a head full of fantasies, but that was Bob. And sure, he may not be as open about his sexuality like Nicole, and he knew Howard didn’t want their relationship getting leaked, so he kept his secrets to himself. He didn’t want anyone finding out that he, of all people, were dating the president. They started dating after Bob was promoted to be Vice President, but it wouldn’t matter to the media. They’d have thought Howard cheated.

But Howard hadn’t cheated. He did what was right…or what he thought was right, and it led him to the office. Now, Howard Goodman was also President Howard Goodman, and it had been that way for two years. Nobody aside from Bob knew that he was gay, and also one of his exs from high school. Well, he _claimed_ he and his ex had dated, when it had been one hook-up and no more contact came out of it, but it helped Howard figure out a lot about himself. He’d shaped America into a somewhat better country with the resources he had, and sure, people didn’t think he was an ideal president, and neither did he if he was being perfectly honest, but he was doing the most.

Howard slumped back down into his chair, as he looked at his three main staff before him, each looking very awkward. “What? Do you have something to tell me?” He asked, and everyone shuffled awkwardly, until Morris spoke up.

“The radio, sir.”

It was always weird to hear the word ‘sir’ come out of his boyfriend’s mouth, but what else could he do except continue to act dumb so his relationship was kept under wraps. Howard sighed. “And what about the radio?”

“It’s…best if you listen for yourself.” Bob took a small radio, placing it on the desk, gaining the attention of both Nicole and Eric, as he switched it on, tuning it in to a station, as everyone listened in closely. 

_“This is Carl Mason coming to you live from New York with continuing coverage of what has already been called The Black Friday From Hell. From the Mall of America to Macy’s Herald Square, reports are flooding in of violent riots breaking out at retailers of all sizes. With mayors and governors pleading to the federal government for aide, speculation swirls as to whether President Howard Goodman will declare a national state of emergency.”_

Howard shook his head, rising from his chair once again, beginning to pace the room, as everyone aside from Bob rose too. “Can someone tell me what the _hell_ is happening here? For God’s sake, the country is coming apart at the seams!” He said, and it was clear that he was agitated. Who wouldn’t be in such a serious situation? How was he supposed to declare a state of emergency over some…doll?

“It’s a goddamn uprising is what it is!” Eric piped up, standing in the corner of the room, his arms behind his back, head held high. “It could be anarchists, terrorists, socialists!”

“Actually, Eric, it’s over a doll…” Morris added from his chair, running his hand over his head, but he didn’t say it loud enough, as Eric continued to speak.

“Give me two hours, Mr President! I’ll organise a series of drone strikes against the key instigators of this revolt!”

“No, no, Mr President,” Nicole said, heading towards Eric as well, causing Howard to stop pacing. “These riots are not ideologically motivated. Make no mistake. This is shopper mania and a _fuck_ ton of it.”

Bob shook his head, finally standing up, the other three in the room turning to face him entirely. “Now, I know this may sound hard to believe, but- uh, it seems what these people are rioting over is a-uh, a doll.” He said, and the other three looked at him as if he were insane.

“A doll?” Howard asked, raising an eyebrow, placing his hands in his blazer pockets. “You-you can’t be serious? People are killing each other for…a toy?”

“Uh, yes.” He reached behind him, pulling out the Wiggly from it’s packaging. “This toy. It’s called a-uh, a _Tickle-Me Wiggly.”_ He said, looking to his boyfriend and colleagues for other guidance, as Bob stood up, remaining on the other side of the office. 

“No, no, this _can’t_ be happening….” He shook his head, and it was becoming more obvious he thought Bob was insane, as did the other two by the looks on their faces. “We beat the Nazis! _And_ the Communists! And now people are cannibalizing each other over some fucking weird little monster?”

“No, they’re just _killing_ each other,” Nicole corrected, but Howard ignored her.

“I mean, I _admit_ …he is cute. And I’ll come right out and say it! He has a fuzzy tummy. And I wouldn’t mind tickling that little belly-well.” There was a slight pause until Howard extended his arm, holding it out to Bob. “In fact, Morris, why don’t you uh-hand him here?”

“Why?” Morris asked suddenly, pulling the Wiggly back towards his chest, and he noticed the look in Howard’s eyes that essentially read _because I’m your boyfriend,_ but Bob wasn’t giving in that easily.

“Because…I need to understand what we’re dealing with here…and the only way I can do that is if I hold him in my arms!” Howard rushed forward, and Bob stood up on the chair that he’d previously been sitting on, now out of his boyfriend’s reach. Eric also swooped forward, placing his hand on Howard’s shoulder to stoop him, shaking his head.

“No, no, no, no, no, Mr President, I’m the Secretary of Defence. It’s my job to protect the country and _you_. We don’t know what’s going on with these dolls, and there could be some sort of lethal drug embedded within them, so, for the time being, I’ll hold on to the little whipper-snapper-“

“Like hell you will!” Howard argued back, pulling out of Eric’s grasp, a sudden burst of anger blooming from within. 

“That is enough, enough, _enough!”_ Nicole rushed forward as well, now in the same area as the men in the room. She’d put a stop to this if nobody else would. She wanted everyone to remain calm so they could deal with the situation well enough so that a fight wouldn’t blossom. “One of my political heroes has always been John F. Kennedy. He saved this country from the Cuban Missile Crisis by keeping a _cool_ head. That’s what we need now, fellas, cool heads. So, while you three device a strategy, I’ll hold on to the Wiggly.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Howard placed his hand to the side of his head, telling Nicole to “talk to the hand,” and she soon got the idea. Then he turned back to Morris, looking directly up at him, noticing a green tinge to Morris’ eyes. “I am the goddamn President of the United States of America, and I am _ordering_ you to hand me that _fucking_ doll!”

That snapped something inside of Morris as well as he held the Wiggly closer to him. “No, Howard! Because you’re nothing more than a Harvard Law School community-organising _prick!”_ He hissed. “You contribute _nothing_ to me, to us, or to your family! No wonder you’re seen as the family failure, even running a country! Take one step closer to my friendy-wend and I’ll rip your fucking throat out with my own teeth!”

“He’s not your friendy-wend, he’s mine! I’m gonna tickle that doll and he’s gonna give us all freedom,” Nicole said, slightly louder than before, only for Eric to continue the argument too.

“No! He’s _mine!_ Back off or I will send a laser-guided ballistic missile to one of your houses in Denver! And you’ll be scraping what’s left of your kids off of the fucking pavement!”

“He doesn’t even have kids; he just came up with that lie to hide his gay ass from the media!” Morris shouted, his vision now green, a deep pounding in the back of his head. He could still see Howard snarl though, watching him look directly at him.

“MORRIS, GIVE ME THAT COCK-SUCKING, MOTHER-FUCKING, COCK A DOODLE DOLL!” With that, the three of them, Eric, Nicole and Howard, rushed forward, grabbing at Bob, attempting to grab at the doll. This went on for several minutes until there was a loud gunshot that not only knocked the Wiggly out of Bob’s hands but sent him flying backwards too. He fell to the floor, and with a blink of an eye, the green was gone.

Immediately, Howard was by his side, checking him over. “Are you okay?” he asked gently, and Bob nodded, grabbing his glasses from beside him, putting them back on, brushing Howard off of him.

“I’m fine,” he lied. There was a slight amount of pain in his wrist, but he ignored it.

“I almost killed you, Mr President!” Nicole said, pointing at Howard, her hair now a frenzy, Howard having to move away from Bob slightly so things didn’t become suspicious between the two of them, though he realised people may have started to get an idea of the truth.

“I-I don’t know what came over me!” He said, rubbing his eyes, only to hear a cool voice from the doorway that spoke up. His eyes darted over and saw a man with wavy, golden hair that went just past his shoulders. He was dressed in full military uniform, and in his left hand was a cigarette, in his right was the Wiggly.

“I do,” the voice spoke, tilting his head to examine the room, keeping his identity protected from the others by remaining with his back turned. “Sorry for the intrusion, Mr President. I hope you don’t mind if I let myself in.”

“Into the Oval Office?” Howard asked, furrowing his eyebrows, looking at the figure. “Who the hell are you?” As the man turned around, Howard felt his heart plummet down to the depths of his stomach and he blinked.

John smiled, taking another drag on his cigarette, holding the Wiggly down by his side. “Hi Howard, how have you been?” Howard’s silence answered everything he needed to know. He still wasn’t out to anyone, as John had half expected, and he also hadn’t told anyone about their hook-up before. He hadn’t told Xander about it, to be honest, but he didn’t see why he should. “For those who don’t know who I am, my name is General John McNamara of the United States Military, special until P-E-I-P, we call it peep.” He said, before Bob spoke up.

“PEIP? I’ve never heard of you guys.”

“Well, we’re a fairly small team. Just me…and a few of my PEIPs…” he smirked at his own joke, but no laughs came from around the room. “That was a joke, Mr Vice President.” He exhaled more smoke around the room. “Our department consists of rejected members of the general military, ranging from 17 up to 37, with the majority of the members being in the LGBTQ community, including myself. It was founded by my first General, Gareth Icacks, who died in 2007. I took it upon myself to become the General seeing as nobody else would. Now, PEIP handles crises of a certain nature, not unlike what we have here on this Black Friday.” He said, walking forwards, into the room more.

“What do you mean, ‘certain situations?’” Howard asked, and John sighed.

“That information is classified, sir. But in simplicity, Mr President.” John looked directly at the man on the floor. “Behind the veil of the universe you perceive are entities both ageless and _foul,_ and these eldritch forces are rising.” He crouched down beside the president, examining the torn Wiggly in his hands. “There is a creature at work here, one with designs on humanity far worse than any nightmare can comprehend, and he is marshalling his power. Now, Mr President, if humanity is going to have any hope for survival, you’re going to have to come with me.” John stood back up, blowing the flame of the cigarette out, placing it in his pockets, as Howard scrambled to stand up as well.

“Where?”

“To borrow an expression, we’re stepping out of the blue and into the black.” John sighed. “Now I get that sometimes you need to open your eyes to the reality that you need to respond to the call of your people or else you’ll see a fall in supporters. But you see no need to raise the stakes, because you’re on the wall, and you’re standing tall, but that’s not how it works.” John spun directly to face Howard, pointing at him. “It’s your responsibility to guide your staff instead of getting them to rely on filling your jets. You need to calm the _fuck_ down!” He said, looking directly at Howard. “You can’t keep running now. You stand up and confront your worst fear. You’ve gotta make your case, because they aren’t going to do it for you.”

He walked over to the other members of the room, helping them up, as he continued to speak. “There will always be monsters and men, deadly toxins of monsters that are thoughts that live in your head telling you that you aren’t good enough, and that you’re not doing enough, and that we all should dread the worst because of it. But we won’t. You need to join the fight and put your might to the test and step into The Black and White.”

“What’s…The Black and White?” Bob asked, as John adjusted his tie, and John shrugged.

“Glad you asked, son.” He smirked again, not hiding the fact that there was a thick wall of chemistry between both Howard and Bob. “The Black and White consists of forces in this world that mean humanity real harm, and because your souls have absolutely _no_ protection, so your vulnerable to the darker side of life. No, you won’t find any information about it on your phone, or on the web, or anything like that. Because it doesn’t exist.”

“What the hell are you on about, John?” Howard asked, as he shuffled closer to Bob, and John smiled again, looking at them both.

“The truly good vs the truly bad,” he explained, throwing the Wiggly against the wall as he continued to talk. “This is the only chance we have to become the truly good, to put a stop to the evil within. You need to align your soul with what’s good and right, and to join the only fight that’s left for you to fight. If we are going to get these monsters to fear us, then we need to act quickly.”

“So, we’re not dealing with terrorists here?” Howard asked, and John rolled his eyes, sighing.

“Not exactly.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to look me in the eye now, sir, and tell me that you are making a solemn vow to become _your_ best self now, to finally be the hero America needs. I know everything about our opponent, and my husband knows how to defeat him, and right now we need that extra hand to assist and it requires nothing less than your full potential.”

“It’ll be hard, sir, but I believe we should take General McNamara’s word,” Eric said, and Howard looked at him.

“Really, Moore? You wanna go with _that_ lunatic?”

“Well,” Morris said, shifting his weight on to his other foot. “The world has always been painful to live in, and there have always been those distractions that stop us from defeating them.”

“Exactly that, Morris! But there have always been occasions taken on by lesser men who accomplished these tasks! This is one of these examples!” Nicole said, and John nodded, looking at the president.

“It must be you to take on The Black and White. You must fill your heart with courage and ensure you make good with God immediately. And with that reason in mind, we will make these monsters live in dread, but only if you join the fight against the real plight. You forge a heart of steel to cast the darkness from light against these monsters, which are very real, to get into The Black and White.”

“So, where abouts _do_ I need to go to accomplish this task then?” Howard asked, and John looked at him.

“A small island off of the coast of Michigan named Hatchetfield. That is where we are headed.”

“Then I’ll go. On one condition.”

“What condition?”

“Morris comes with me.”

“Done,” John said. “You won’t need any equipment. Follow me,” he said, and swiftly turned out of the room.

Howard laughed nervously, having no choice but to follow John, as Morris lingered behind.

“Good luck, Morris.” Nicole said, and Eric nodded.

“We’ll be wishing you well.”

“Thank you, both of you.” Morris said, looking at the door. “That man will be the death of me one day.”

“He’ll be the death of us all,” Eric laughed, and clapped Morris on the shoulder. “Go.”

Morris nodded, exiting the room, feeling more nervous than ever before. This may be a task that was too big to cope with. Maybe they wouldn’t succeed, but he had to have faith in Howard. After all, humanity was resting on his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric Moore is questioning his sexuality, btw, just didn't add it in because, in the words of every person to mock JK Rowling ever, It WasNT ReleVaNt To thE PLoT. 
> 
> if u r still confused as to the characters i mentioned in this chapter, based on my headcanons entirely:  
> Secretary Of Defence: Eric Moore (questioning) - Jon Matteson  
> Secretary of State: Nicole Roberts (lesbian) - Jaime Lyn Beatty  
> Bob Morris (Gay) - James Tolbert


	26. Take Me Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's not much i can comment, but it's the first scene of act 2 rewritten basically ft frank pricely at the very end bcs i forgot to add him in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a mess, it keeps jumping back and forth, i'm sorry :(((

John strode out of the building, readjusting his earpiece, as he clicked a button on his watch, ringing Xander back at HQ, waiting for him to pick up. It wasn’t long before he did, and he heard the wheels of a chair gliding across the floor.

_“Mr McNamara.”_

“Good afternoon, Mr Lee.” John smiled, unlocking the door to the car. “I’ve just collected the president, who is also bringing the vice president back to HQ. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Is that okay with you?”

_“That’s fine with me considering you aren’t injured.”_

“What’s it like back in Hatchetfield?” He asked, connecting the call to the inside of his car, buckling in.

_“Uh, Icacks hasn’t returned yet, and Goldstein rang me. He said that he’d been stabbed, and that Micah had bright green eyes.”_

“Well, that’s not good,” John sighed. “Green? So, he became under the influence of Wiggly?”

 _“It appears so, John.”_ There was typing from the other end of the line, and Xander tutted. _“Oh yeah, also stay clear of the Lakeside Mall, it’s a mass murder in there right now.”_

“Thanks for the warning, Zee.” He smiled as the president and Bob climbed in the back. “How’s Schaffer putting up with all of this?”

_“Terribly.”_

“Really? Colonel Schaffer crumbling under stress? I’d have never thought.” He heard Schaffer’s voice on the other end of the line telling him to shut the fuck up, and John laughed. “Any news from TBAW yet, Zee?”

_“It’s getting more active by the hour. The radio frequencies are becoming more visible on the charts. Silhouettes are starting to form now.”_

“Again, I’m on my way back. I love you, okay? And the offer still stands.”

_“I love you too, John. Be careful.”_

“When am I not?” He said sarcastically, hanging up, putting the radio on so they didn’t sit in complete silence in the hours it’d take to get back to Hatchetfield. They’d be fine, he hoped. He didn’t want to have to have a repeat of last time.

* * *

The last thing Lex Foster had wanted to see was Ethan bleeding out, paler than usual, in the middle of the movie theatre. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to run away, and something inside her was telling her not to. Instead, she found a burst of energy deep within her that caused her to run beside him. Ollie stood up so she could take his seat, and she sat down.

“Hannah-Hannah’s with my boyfriend down there, Lex.” Ollie said, and Lex nodded.

“Ollie, what happened to him?” She asked, frantically, not looking at Ethan yet, almost frightened to.

“We came to watch the movie, and then all of a sudden these three guys came in here and two of them had bright green eyes!”

“Shoppers?”

“They must’ve been. They went for Ethan, and one of them had a knife and just stabbed him over and over and over and-“

“Go to Hannah. Make sure she knows I’m okay, make sure she knows that Ethan’s okay.”

“But-“

“Do it, Ollie.” Lex said, looking at him, a tear slipping from her eye. He nodded then, turning and awkwardly moving out from the row of seats, running back down the stairs.

Only then did Lex turn to face Ethan as Becky stitched up the side he had his hand placed on, and Lex felt a twang of sympathy in her heart. He was pale, he always had been, but he was now unnaturally pale, sickly. There were parts of his hair that looked as if they were coated in blood too, but he wasn’t too sure. His favourite shirt was blood stained, but she’d get that out easily enough, and he just seemed to be in pain. Ethan never admitted to hurting. It was part of his ‘bad boy’ persona. Even when they fought, the worst part about it was how numb he seemed to appear. He never let it show that it affected him. Somehow that was worse than the fight itself. It made him seem like he didn’t care.

Maybe he didn’t.

Yet, she found herself taking his gloved hand in hers, ignoring the looks of her manager from a short distance away and Tom Houston, who seemed to be watching her like a hawk, probably because of the day’s earlier events. In that moment, she couldn’t find herself to care. She was only focusing on Ethan. Ethan and Ethan only.

Because she loved him.

She watched as his head lolled on his shoulders slightly as his stormy grey eyes opened, looking at her. “Lexi?” he whispered, and Lex nodded, gently squeezing his hand.

“I’m here, Ethan.”

“I’m sorry. For getting stabbed.”

“Don’t be,” she said as the movie began to roll. She wiped her tears with the back of her thumb as Ethan ignored the pain in his side, choosing to smile gently instead, laughing. “What’s so funny?” Lex asked, looking to the theatre, and Ethan just smiled.

“Me.”

“You?”

“That’s me.” Ethan said, leaning against Lex, as he sat up more. Lex wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

“That’s you?”

“Yeah.” He said and smiled. Despite everything, he was smiling. “Look at me gooooo.”

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Becky spoke up, lifting Ethan’s shirt down. “He’ll need rest once we’re out of here. Luckily, the stab wounds didn’t hit anything vital.”

“Okay,” Lex said as she watched Ethan closely, ignoring the movie that was happening in the background, watching as, even with the tiredness in his eyes, they remained lit with excitement. He was alive, he was _alive,_ and it was all that mattered.

There was a smaller pair of footsteps that rushed up the theatre, and threw her arms around Lex tightly, and she was shuddering. Lex looked and saw Hannah and frowned. “Hey, hey banana. I’m okay, Ethan’s gonna be okay,” she had to explain, and patted her leg with her free hand. Hannah took the offer, climbing into her sister’s lap.

“Lexi…” she shuddered, hugging her tightly, and Lex nodded.

“I’m here, and I ain’t leavin this place without you or Ethan, you understand?”

“Papa? Daddy?” She asked, looking up to Lex with wide, tearful eyes, and then Lex remembered about John and Xander in full.

“I’ll try and ring them and explain what happened okay?”

“Don’t bother, Lex. The phone lines just cut off.” Oliver said, joining the group alongside Lucas. “Ethan, dad says that he’s got medical stuff back at ours and he’s gonna get your room ready. He said we should try and get there, but then the lines cut off and-“

“Under the mistletoeeee.” Ethan sang under his breath, delusional and very out of it. He looked to his cousin and hummed, going back over Oliver’s words, before nodding. “Got it.”

“You didn’t listen, did you?” The younger teen asked, folding his arms, and Ethan only grinned, shaking his head.

“Nope.”

* * *

While the movie continued to roll, Becky had just finished stitching up Gary Goldstein, and had gotten the truth from him about the situation, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. She was scared. She’d never have originally thought that on Black Friday, she’d have to live through a horror movie. She told Gary that, as long as he was careful, he’d be able to head after Michael, and eventually get to HQ. Gary thanked her, and with Tom’s assistance, managed to leave the Cineplex. He also hadn’t been fatally injured, which was good on his behalf.

Becky sighed as she let her hair down, standing up and slumping into a chair a little away from the teenagers. Tom took a seat beside her, looking at the screen, smiling as he watched Ethan in ‘all of his glory.’ “What the fuck is this?”

“It’s…a movie.” Becky confirmed as she watched it too. “ _Santa Claus Is Goin’ To High School,_ I think.”

“Let me guess, it’s about Santa Claus going to high school?” Tom asked, smiling gently, as he heard Becky chuckle lightly from beside him.

“I guess so.”

Tom continued to watch, speaking up again. “It’s not the best movie in the world, is it?”

“No.” Becky laughed again then, and Tom practically melted at the sound. “In fact, I believe Ethan is the only good part about it.”

“He’s a mean dancer, huh? I always knew he was a talented kid when I taught.” Soft silence gathered around them until Tom turned his head, taking in Becky’s beauty. Nothing had changed since high school. Sure, they both got older, but her bright red hair against her porcelain skin remained the same, as did her beautiful blue eyes. She remained beautiful, just as he knew he would. He didn’t resist a smile. “You know, Becky, I haven’t been to the Cineplex in years.”

“Neither have I,” she said, turning to look at him. She looked into her eyes, almost as if she were thinking, before she shrugged, placing her coat on her lap, looking down. “ _Stanley_ used to say going to the movies was a waste of money…” more silence gathered until she looked in front of her, her eyes lighting up again. “Huh, I didn’t even realise! I was just trying to find someplace safe to sit down out of sight of any shopper that could pass, and I dragged us to our old seats! It must’ve been second nature!”

“No kidding,” he smiled as he turned, looking at the number on his chair.

“Yeah! G-7 and 8!”

“Wait…I wonder if it’s still here…” he said, moving the fabric on his chair, grinning. “Yeah! Becky, look! You remember when we carved that?”

“Yeah,” Becky said, looking at the carving, sighing softly. “It’s…a penis.”

“Ayyyyy.” Tom said, letting go of the fabric, and looking back at Becky. “Yeah, well, we were kids. If I could go back, I’d carve somethin’ nice.”

“Yeah, like T and B 4ever…well, we _thought_ it’d be forever…” There was that silence again. It was like a glass barrier that they had to speak to, and if they discussed a topic even mildly risky, there would be a small crack or chip in it. They were almost afraid to smash it so they could reach the other’s comfort and safety.

“What’s going on out there?” Tom asked, looking back to the movie, not wanting to make Becky uncomfortable.

“Well, Gary said the people who got dolls ran. The people who didn’t are still in the mall. They’re organising, they blocked off all the exits. They’re convinced there are more dolls in here somewhere.”

“Are there?” He asked, and then he remembered the real reason he’d come to the Lakeside Mall this morning. It hadn’t been for Becky, it hadn’t been for Lex or Ethan, it had been for _Tim._ He wanted to be a good dad to his son, and if the only way was to get a Wiggly, then he’d ensure he got a Wiggly by the end of the day.

“I-I don’t know, Tom, I’ve been in here with y-“

“Oh, wait we’ve already got a Wiggly.” Tom laughed slightly more, a slightly flash in his veins, as he looked back to her.

“I only came here because my boss told me that it’d cheer some of the kids up. But what about your kid? The last I heard he wasn’t into dolls.”

Tom sighed, looking into his hands. “It’s more of an apology to my son, if anything. The night Jane died… _I_ was driving…if she’d been driving, she would’ve seen the other car sliding into the intersection, and she would’ve stopped. Because of that, Tim doesn’t like going in the car anymore, he’s more distant, and he doesn’t smile. And this doll…I know it’ll help him grieve his mom. It’ll give him a friend. But it’s my fault my son is so distant, it’s my fault she’s dead….because I killed my family, and there’s no taking it back.”

There was a gentle round of silence until Tom felt Becky’s hand on his shoulder. The glass wall came down, and no shards of glass seemed to harm them. Instead, they were in a bubble, and it was only them together. “We were…the quarterback and the cheer captain back in high school, insatiable and inseparable. Reasonably, I figured when you shipped out I’d wait for you to come home, and we’d start the family we’d always wanted.” She bit her lip, and her eyes drifted away from Tom. “Then I met Stanley.”

Tom looked at her, and there was a wave of sadness that overtook her. She couldn’t keep up with herself, and it was saddening to him. She was always such a bubbly girl, and Jane had told him what happened…or what she’d heard had happened. He only felt sympathy towards her. Now he was getting the truth and he’d make a judgement based on what he was hearing.

“He was so cool at first. He gave us booze and cigarettes, and he was a few years older than I was, so he had his own apartment too and he drove. Five months into our relationship and I was at the lake with some friends for a birthday party or something. I’m flirting with some guy, just a little buzzed, and I see Stanley’s car come on to the beach. He grabs the boy I’m flirting with and just stars beating the shit outta him. Then he tells me to get in. I didn’t go to anymore parties after that. I wasn’t allowed.”

“Beck…” he said, and she shook her head, not pulling away, instead leaning in closer to him.

“Stanley was a bad, bad man. People think he left me for some woman in Clivesdale, and it isn’t the truth. Last year, when your wife passed, I was thinking of going to the funeral. He said something so inconsiderate it hurt. That night, I fought back against him. He ended up chasing me out of the house and into the woods beside it. It’s funny because not only was he the one that made me go to nursing school, but he bought the knife. And I hit him in the femoral artery. Not even I knew if he crawled for help, or if he died in those woods.” Through the midst of everything, tears had gathered in her eyes. He could tell she’d wanted to open up about the matter for so long and had been unable to. This had been her chance, and she’d scored it. “You didn’t kill your family, but I hope I did. So, you need to learn to forgive yourself, ‘cause if you don’t because of an accident that happened, how is anyone ever gonna forgive me?”

“They’ll forgive you because they don’t know the truth.” He said, and turned to face her, placing his hands on her forearms. “Listen, Beck…” He said and took a breath. “This isn’t the right time, but if it makes you feel better, then let me talk to you.”

“Just distract me, I’m not supposed to talk about the woods,” Becky said, as Tom brushed a tear out of her eyes.

“You look the same as I remember. The same as those Friday nights at my place, under the lights of the school gymnasium, under the bleachers together. But those memories began to fade, and I think I speak for everyone in this town when I say we were supposed to be something more, that we were always supposed to be something more, and yet something divided us. But we can bounce back.”

“Tom-“

“We know that the universe is infinite, which means it’s nearly 100% certain that in an alternate reality or dimension or some shit we were always destined to be together. Soulmates. We’re a family in that universe, and it isn’t too late for us to change the fate of this one.” He looked into her eyes, and she seemed cautious, unsure of if he was telling the truth, and he cupped her cheek and smiled, brushing her tears and hair away from her face. “Take me back in time to love you, when we were young and naïve, lost in each other’s arms and the new feelings we were experiencing and there wasn’t any consequence. We can go back to high school, relive everything, because you’re the light that can fix my blackened heart and you can mend everything, you always could. Becky, I already lost you once, and I can’t go through that again.”

“Just…” she said and looked at him too. “Things changed between us. You’re not the same as high school. You have a kid and you’re just…the light has left your eyes. You’re unmotivated, and I’m scared for you. You were always so put together, you always knew the answers, and now you don’t and it’s hard for me to help you when I don’t know those answers.”

“I understand…”

“But it doesn’t mean, that if we did go back to high school, I wouldn’t say no to you asking me to prom again…” She looked up at him and she saw hope in his eyes. “Yes, there would be a universe where we’re together, and that there’s a universe where we’re a family, but there might be one where it’s _only_ you and me, but I’m happy here with you. So, take me back in time to love you, remind me of what we once were. Hold me closer, heal my heart, mend what’s broken, and you can do it all for free. I want to go back to high school; I want you to tell me about when everything was innocent and free. For one more night.”

They shifted until Becky was practically sitting in Tom’s lap, but they were close, and it was clear neither wanted to let the other go. “I’ve lost everything, Tom. And I need to trust you when I ask that you aren’t going to treat me like dirt, that you won’t walk all over me or use me for my skills.”

“Becky, I’d never treat you like that,” he said and smiled gently. “I know you’ve lost everything, but I can tell that something is still in your heart that keeps you going. And I can add to it. I’m _never_ letting you go.” He pulled her closer against his chest as he turned back to watch the movie, feeling Becky’s hands holding his arm.

Behind them, Ethan was singing along to the song, and there was the undeniable and distinct laugh of Lex Foster that followed. She watched him dance in his chair without causing himself pain as he watched himself in the movie on the screen. Hannah also seemed fixated, as did Ollie, as did Lucas, but it was Ethan, Ethan in real life, that Lex was focused on. He had a beautiful voice and a beautiful figure, and he deserved to know that. She was still too scared to make that first move, though.

“Gotta take me back in time,” Ethan sang, his speech slightly slurred, but Lex didn’t mind. She leaned against his arm, as he cuddled her close. At least _he_ was making the best out of a bad situation.

But Becky and Tom didn’t seem to notice the love that was flowering behind them. Instead, they were caught up in each other, and it seemed they both thought the same thing as they moved into a kiss. The kiss lasted longer than they’d both anticipated, but when they pulled away, they were both grinning, and Becky’s cheeks were flushed. “This…has got to be the best movie ever.” He said, and Becky nodded in agreement, before a look of panic settled on her face.

“Uh…Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you have the Wiggly?”

“No, I thought you had it?” He asked, looking around. Frank was sat against the wall, eyes closed, seemingly asleep, and none of the kids had it. The thought dawned on Tom and he stood up, his lip curling. “Goldstein!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha gary's gonna get killed haha
> 
> but he's simping for micah and micah wants a doll so just wait for him to find out that Micah joined Linda's cult and- oh well, it wasn't really a spoiler, yallses have watched black friday
> 
> also a fun fact, when i saw The Sonic Movie in february, I sat in the seat G-7 and I totally forgot about the black friday reference SYUILKJBYSUIOKJH


	27. HQ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cineplex crew escape the cineplex, and there is a slight amount of mcnamander angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i've gone long enough without writing mcnamander angst, so let me have this one.   
> 2\. I've been cosplaying as Wilbur Cross all day, and it's the second time in three days, which is impressive (yesterday was Ethan btw) so guess where my muse is stemming from  
> 3\. i still have a limited vocabulary  
> 4\. Yes, I now headcanon John to call Xander "Alexander" when he's in trouble even though it isn't his full name, but Jonathan is John's.   
> TWs:  
> mentions of sam, and bad relations in the family. 
> 
> Xander hates the president, and there are references to my two peip ocs!!! if you follow my PEIPHQ Shenanigans series, which is mcnamander heavy, you'll be familiar with Private Benny Slate (the gay Ethan Green) and Private Lou Hartford. Anyways, proceeding:

Becky looked at Tom, furrowing her eyebrows, as he stood, growling. “That damned lawyer took it!”

“Well, we’d better go get it, hadn’t we?” Becky asked, standing up as well.

“Of course. Come on, Beck. Let’s go. Together.” He grabbed Becky’s arm, that same pulsing feeling in his veins as he tugged her out of the room, but she didn’t argue with him, only following.

It left Lex alone with the teens and her manager. She sighed as the movie seemed to come to a close. “That didn’t last very long…” she told herself, standing, throwing the bag back on her back. “Ollie? You think you can help Ethan get out of here?”

“Do I have a choice?” Ollie asked, putting his glasses back on, swinging Ethan’s arm around his shoulder’s hoisting him up.

“Unfortunately not,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I gotta go find a laptop or something. I need to at least send an email to either John or Xander.”

“Please, be safe, Lex.” Ollie said, and Frank stood up.

“I’ll go with her. Then, if anything happens, she won’t be alone, and there’ll be an eye-witness.” Frank said, walking over to her.

Lex threw her arms down, looking at Hannah. “Be a good girl for Ollie and Ethan.”

“Magic hat. No hurt me.” Hannah said, touching the cap on her head, and Lex took a breath. She walked out of the theatre, with Frank behind her, Ollie’s boyfriend assisting Ollie with Ethan. They went their separate ways as Lex typed out a short email explaining what was happening and that they were safe. She sent it, with some sort of signal connected, but things soon became more challenging as she felt a pain in the back of her head and slumped to the floor. She heard Ethan calling Hannah’s name from a distance, and Hannah’s screeches. Lex was on the verge of passing out, defenceless, and unable to protect her sister.

_She failed._

* * *

John shut the door to the JEIP as he got out, grabbing his military vest, throwing it back on as the President and his ‘associate’ did the same thing. “Follow me, sirs.” He led the way into the school-disguised building and opened the door with a swipe of the key card. John was immune to the buzzing of the hive around him, and he spotted a certain theoretical physicist through the glass doors. He couldn’t help but crack a smile as he walked down the stairs, Howard following closely, and confusingly, behind him. “Paranormal, Extra-terrestrial, Interdimensional, Phenomena. _That_ is the purview of our organisation, Mr President. Welcome to PEIPHQ.” He gestured with his hands in a welcoming stance as the doors slid open.

He stepped in, lighting another cigarette, nodding to one of the agents on the far side of the room, Benny Slate, that he had returned. Slate saluted, turning to one of the other agents, Lou Hartford, who nudged Xander in the side. The conversation commenced between the three, which gave John a few moments to explain what was happening to Howard and to Bob.

“Okay, okay, so I’m still trying to wrap my head around all this. So, you’re telling me, that there’s another alternate dimension?” Howard asked, staying close to Bob’s side, and John couldn’t help but shake his head. How dumb was this guy? John had already gone over it once in the journey over, did he have to reexplain everything?

“No, Mr President, there are _many_ dimensions. But what concerns us as an agency today is a place outside all dimensions. It’s a gap in between ours and the next, a pocket of swirling sea of psychic energy _we_ named The Black and White.” He took another breath on the cigarette, allowing himself to relax further at the clicking of keys and the humming of monitors around the room. “The current ruler of the realm is an entity we’ve known of for 13 years but had only now revealed his name.” He took another breath on the cigarette, pausing, as he saw Xander turn with a wide grin on his face, and John only shook his head at the sight. “Wiggly,” he finished, to both the President and the Vice President’s amazement.

“The _doll!?”_ Bob asked, and John watched from a distance, and out of the corner of his eye, as Xander pointed at him.

“The doll’s only part of it.”

This enabled John to swoop away, to sign in and to do a brief check in on his other agents, which allowed Xander to take over momentarily.

“What? You don’t remember your Catechism class?” There was almost a tone of disgust in Xander’s voice as he stepped forward, drawing the attention of Bob and Howard. He demonstrated with his hands, not taking his eyes off of the two men, scanning over both of them with his shades on. “The father’s the son, the son’s the father. Wiggly rules on high in The Black and White, but he also _is_ the dolls. Bet you didn’t guess the, uh, Lord of Despair would be so…cute and cuddly, did ya?”

John returned, walking to his husband’s side, allowing Xander to place his arm on John’s shoulder, leaning against him. “Xander Lee, theoretical physicist.”

“Is…a physicist like a scientist?” Howard asked, turning to Bob, who nodded.

John heard Xander groan and had to resist a laugh. “He’s also a field agent.”

“Is that a soldier?” Howard asked, and Bob nodded, patting Howard’s shoulder almost sympathetically. “Sorry, I’m really lost here.”

Xander sighed louder that time, taking his glasses off, sliding them into his pocket, and John cracked a smile then. “He’s the best damn field agent in the business. And I’m married to him, which is a bonus.” John peered up at Xander, looking at him. “Where are the girls?”

“I actually need to talk to you about that.” Xander said, looking at him. “Why did you bring Bob Morris down here?”

“You seem offended, love?”

“Yes. He’s a distant relative to me. Like how Sam is to you.”

“Yeah? Well I’m pretty sure he’s with the President, if you know what I mean?”

“Loud and clear.” Xander moved off of John, standing beside him, as they both turned back to the clueless men.

“Okay, so, Wiggly, he makes people go crazy. _Why?_ What does he want?”

“Howie, can I call you Howie?” Xander asked, and he looked down to John for confirmation, and he nodded. Xander flashed a grin, ignoring Bob, looking directly at the President again. “Listen. Wiggly wants _us_. He wants everything. He is a-knockin’, and he wants in.”

John took a breath, looking off to the distance, taking another breath on his cigarette. “Thirteen years ago-“

“Here we go again,” Xander huffed, folding his arms and shaking his head, unable to resist a laugh, which got Xander smiling, but also made Xander get elbowed in the gut by his husband,

“Thirteen years ago, PEIP constructed a portal. A portal connecting our reality to The Black and White. My mentor, Wilbur Cross, stepped through that portal and came out a raving lunatic. He pledged his undying loyalty to the forces within and disappeared soon after.”

“That’s…heavy.” Bob said, Howard nodding beside him as John tilted his head, spinning to look directly at him.

“Today we want to send _you_ through that portal.”

“ _Me?!”_ Howie said, astounded, and Bob stepped in then.

“He isn’t doing that.”

“Unfortunately, Bob, because he’s the democratically elected representative of the United States of America, _he_ must negotiate a peace with Wiggly.” Xander smiled sarcastically, and Bob stepped down back to his lower level of confidence he was exhibiting.

“You wanna send me to the fuckin’ Twilight Zone to have a sit down with the devil?!”

“Mr President,” John took another breath, moving his hair out of his eyes. “Let’s put a bit up to fruition-“

“Look, I'm just an elected official. I'm in office cause the DNC and the donors and the SuperPAC’s like that I'm preventing the passage of universal healthcare.”

John shook his head, sighing deeply. This guy was useless. “We're not sending you in there half cocked, sir, we have a hydrogen bomb ready to deploy into the black and white if need be.”  
  
“We believe that once the bomb crosses over to _their_ realm and operates on their rules of existence, it's detonation will utterly destroy Wiggly,” Xander finished John’s sentence, and John nodded, speaking up again.   
  
“The greatest strategic value of nuclear weapons has always been deterrence. Wiggly is a being who has never contemplated his own annihilation. If threatened with such, he may retreat from our reality.”

“Look, okay. I get it, I get what you’re saying is true, but I’m finding it hard to believe that this is gonna be the real threat to my heart. Yes, I’ve always been aware that the monster under my bed was real, even if my dumbass dad didn’t believe that, or in me…but now I have to negotiate a deal with it?”

“It’s doubtful Wiggly lived under your bed, Mr President,” Xander leaned against John again, and John wrapped his arm around him, patting his back pitifully.

“Still! It’s a foreign policy I have to figure out! They’ve always been a joke! See! I tried to build a wall and that was revoked, so what the fuck do you want me to do?”

“Sir, this isn’t politics, this is how to stop a fucking apocalypse.” John said, practically glaring at him by then. “If acted upon quick enough, we can build a level of defence to keep Wiggly at bay.”

“You can’t back out now, Howie, we came so far without you, but we need you for that final stretch.” Xander said and looked at Howard, grabbing his phone out of his jacket pocket, checking for a text off of Lex, before loading the email she’d sent him again. He had to show

“Wait…aren’t I the President? Which means I can do what I want, which means I can make you do your jobs! I should be bossing you around, not the other way around!”

“Unfortunately, sir, in this specific circumstance, it doesn’t exactly work like that,” John said, looking at Xander, glaring at him then. “Put your fucking phone down, Zee.” There was a moment of silence between the two before Xander rolled his eyes, stuffing his phone back in his jacket pocket.

“Look, I just don’t think I can do this.” Howard admitted, and Bob nodded, wrapping an arm around Howard’s shoulders before anyone could stop what was happening.

“I also don’t think he should be the one to do that.”

“Bob, shut the fuck up, nobody’s going to listen to you,” Xander piped in, and John hit him playfully.

“Xander, play fair.” John said, turning back to the President. “I appreciate your concern, Mr President, and I get your worries, but in the lightest way possible, the fate of humanity is resting on your shoulders. Fucking up, is not an option. Now I can show you a path, but only you can walk it. If Wiggly is birthed, nobody knows what is going to happen, and we don’t want to deal with a potentially much larger, more dangerous realm that has so far gone undetected on our maps. So, if we shatter a time and space, bend the will of the human race of monsters and men, and I tell you the truth, alongside a path where I’ll guide you…?”

There was a moments silence again before Howard spoke up. “What do you want me to do?” 

John flashed a smile and looked to Xander. “Load the plans, love.”

“On it, honey.” He said, tapping a button on his watch, loading the plans.

“Quite simply, Mr President, we want you to where a suit with protective materials as such and negotiate a peace with Wiggly if possible.”

“And what if I don’t do it?” He asked, looking up to the two members of the military.

“Well, let’s look at the larger picture.” Xander said, taking down the hologram. “Listen, these riots are _just_ the beginning. Right now, Wiggly is culling the wheat from the chaff. And when the only people left are his most devout followers, they will build him his _birth_ canal.”

“Which is a portal much more powerful than ours. A portal large enough for Wiggly himself to cross through. And when he does, he will remake creation to his liking. In short, Mr President, we are trying to stop the birth of a god.” John finished, and Xander nodded.

Howie gulped, but looked at them both. “Lead me to wherever I need to go.”

“Hartford! Slate! Escort these two to the changing room!” Xander shouted, and the two young agents from before nodded.

“On it, sir!” They said in unison, grabbing a member by the arm and dragging them away. Once they were alone, Xander gently took John’s hand.

“We need to talk,” he said, and John clenched his teeth. That was never good. He only nodded, allowing Xander to pull him to John’s office. They stepped inside, and Xander pulled his phone back out as John flipped the lights on. At the sight of the device, John became offended again, and groaned.

“Alexander, but that fucking thing away-“

“It’s from Lex.” He said, and that silenced him. “An email, sent 25 minutes ago while there was still a good connection.”

It didn’t take much else before John swiped the phone from Xander’s hand, reading the email in extreme detail.

* * *

_To John McNamara/Xander Lee, whoever tf this reaches first:_

_Hey, it’s Lex. As in, the teen you are trying to adopt, Lex. Look, I gotta be honest with you, I ain’t got a fucking clue what’s going on. I was let off shift early only because all the dolls got stolen and people began fighting for them. Their eyes were green, like bright green, and people were getting killed because of it. Michael Icacks is a part of that group, by the way. Ethan got stabbed by him. Hannah and I are safe, we’re currently at The Cineplex with Ethan’s cousin and his boyfriend, Becky and Tom. They’ve blocked off all the exits, we can’t get out. I’m scared. If you see this, please come and pick us up. I don’t want to keep living through hell, especially after July._

_~Lex~_

_And if you can’t find me, Hannah or Ethan, we fucked off to California._

* * *

“CALIFORNIA?!” John exclaimed, looking at Xander, tears having gathered in his eyes. “No. No, I’m going. I’m going to get them, and I’m going to punch the _fuck_ out of Icacks once he realises what he’s done wrong!”

“John, listen to yourself!” Xander grabbed his phone back and held John’s shoulder. “Honey, please. Its dangerous. “I know, I know, I want to go and get them too. If anything’s happened to them, I don’t think I could forgive myself. But we need to try and be reasonable about this.”

“How can I be when one of our agents is out there, under the dolls influence, stabbing people?!”

“I don’t know, but we need to remain calm, okay?”

“How?!”

“I don’t know!” Xander said and looked at him. “I’ve been as calm as possible since you left for the Oval Office, I’ve put up with my shitty relative, the last thing I need is you going insane!”

“I’m not insane! I’m upset!”

“As am I! But the world is at stake here!”

“Our family is in danger!”

“John, the papers haven’t gone through yet! Lex and Hannah aren’t our family until they do! Don’t you think they’re not scared? Especially Hannah? She’s _9.”_

“Shut up, Xander.”

“I’m not going to.”

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“Because-“

“Because I’m right and you don’t want to be silenced. Maybe that’s why.”

“No, it isn’t that-“

“Then what is it?” Xander looked at him, and John wiped his eyes again, looking away from him at once.

“Try and reach her phone. Try and contact her. I’m going to the balcony.”

“If you dare go in The Black and White without a suit, Jonathan McNamara-“ Xander shouted only for John to slam his door shut. Xander took a breath.

Things could be altered, yet the timeline would always turn out the same.

_John had to die for humanity to thrive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those who got the scratch tracks for black friday, you may have noticed the og monsters and men rep. made an appearance in the middle of the chapter. xander solidarity. 
> 
> anyways xander hates bob 2k20. 
> 
> also sorry (not sorry) for hurting every character in a consistent flow so far, while also threatening to kill every character in existence. 
> 
> tonight it is john.


	28. Adore Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary Goldstein takes charge and stands the fuck up to his ex lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of linda and wilbur fucking in the middle of the store, arson mentions in the end notes, jay uses big words in this chapter with head hurting and i;m aware this mkaes no sense, i had a mental breakdown leave me alone

Once free with the Wiggly, Gary ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, and yet, simultaneously being mindful of his side. He had to do this for Micah. He’d gone there that morning with Micah, because not only had he wanted Gary to go, but Gary had wanted to grab one for himself to impress Micah regardless. It was strange, he thought, as he hid the doll in the inside of his blazer, shielded from any other shoppers, how he’d ended up in that situation. He wasn’t sure himself. His ex-boyfriend had stabbed him, and now Gary was running back to him.

Literally.

Eventually, he reached an area of the mall, seeing the same guy in the blue jacket from the line on the balcony. Thinking quickly, he ducked behind the pillar and listened in closely, but only to see if the area he was in would put him in critical danger.

“Friends! Neighbours! Fellow citizens of Hatchetfield! _My_ name is Sherman Young,” the man started, speaking down to the group that had gathered beneath him. Many of the previous shoppers from the line, including the homeless guy, the guy with the cap, and the guy with the beanie all stood below the barrier. “168 hours ago, I came to this mall to wait in line for a Wiggly. Throughout that time, I ate _nothing_ but snacks packed in a cooler by my mother and defecated into a bucket all so that I would not lose my place in line. If all had gone as went, I would now be the proud owner of 850 dolls! But after today’s Great Battle, I stand here, like you, empty handed! And yet, my heart _swells_ with humility and joy! I came here, in search of a doll, but what I found was something far greater. Faith in the One True God! All hail Wiggly!”

“Wiggly is good!” The homeless guy declared, and everyone else nodded.

“Wiggly is just!” The beanie guy spoke up, his stance fiery, almost as if he were prepared to run from anything or run _to_ anything.

“If we have faith, we will be rewarded with a cuddly toy!” The homeless guy spoke again, and the blue jacket guy, Sherman, nodded, beaming.

“Yes, brothers and sisters! We have seized control of Lakeside Mall! Let it be a new Jerusalem! And from it, we shall march forth and conquer the earth! All hail Wiggly!” At that, the group began to chant Wiggly’s name, and Sherman licked his lips, leaning further over the balcony. “Yes! Now bring forth the infidels!”

A couple of the members nodded, obeying, running off to the sides. They returned with two people, the same two from the Cineplex. Lex seemed infuriated, yet there was a swirl of another emotion in her eyes, and Frank was downright panicked, and there wasn’t any other way to describe it. He didn’t want to be there, and his breathing was far too quick. Both of them were shoved to their knees, their hands being held behind their backs by the members who held them in place, and Frank looked up to the balcony, eyes wide with fear.

“Let me go! You nut-bags, you crazies!”

“Frank, if anything happened to my sister, I swear to God!” Lex shouted, only for Sherman to screech into the air, looking at them both.

“Silence, heathens!” He hissed, and some members started saying that the Toy-Zone employees should be killed on the spot. From the distance Gary was stood at, he could tell that Sherman was becoming…excited at the thought, but he shook his head, still grinning. “No, no! Friendy-wends! They face not your judgement but that of she ordained by the highest God! The prophet, mother, mommy!”

Sherman bowed down, backing down and walking down the stairs to join his fellow worshippers, as they all started to chant about a ‘mother.’ Gary grimaced, thinking the nickname given was highly inappropriate for an adult, and when he saw it was _Linda,_ he knew she must have chosen it herself. She had always craved adoration, after all.

She stood there, at the top of the balcony, an almost heavenly glow following her, with that stupid fucking iPhone pressed to her ear. Again, she was on the phone to Gerald, because who else would she be calling in the middle of the peak of her resolution? “Yes, they’re talking about me, Gerald,” she said, and furrowed her eyebrows. “I dislike that word, Gerald, _cult._ No, it’s a new and exciting religion that I started! And yes, of _course_ you can come inside and support me. But before you do, you should know my first act as divine prophet was to set fire to the Cinnabon as a sacrifice to a Dark God!” With another look of shock crossing her face, she scoffed. “Oh, _now_ you’d rather stay outside and keep the car warm! Hold on.” She pressed the phone on her chest, the call on hold, as she looked down to her ‘worshippers.’ “Yes, _I_ am the divine prophet. I have _gazed_ into the face of God. He has chosen me to _usher_ in his reign and give him life! But how, Lord, how? Your voice is so far away, I cannot hear it! I need a _vessel_ filled with your _essence!_ To guide your people, to let your will be known! I need a Wiggly doll, ideally four of them.”

“Listen, Lady, you want a Wiggly doll? I can get you a Wiggly doll straight from the manufacturer at wholesale prices!” Franks offer of trying to negotiate didn’t go in his favour, as Linda cackled at him instead, standing up straight.

“We have no need for your manufacturers! Because, brothers and sisters, we have a secret weapon! We have my second in command, who will be able to get each and every single one of you a Wiggly with no consequence!” She smiled as another set of footsteps joined on the balcony, and there he was.

“Micah,” Gary whispered, looking at the other figure.

Micah’s blonde hair seemed lighter than it had ever been, and he was dressed in the standard PEIP uniform, black denim against black denim, his head held high, his arms situated behind his back. He wore a beret on his head like John did, and his hair seemed shorter than it had done earlier in the day. There was also a glistening that came from Micah’s pocket that caught Gary’s attention, and he realised it was the weapon Micah had used to stab Gary earlier on.

“There is one doll left in this mall,” Linda said, brushing her cape to fit her shoulders, walking down the stairs, with Micah following behind her. Once she reached the bottom of the mall, she crouched in front of Frank, tilting his chin up as the worshippers let both Frank and Lex go. “The only hope for extending your worthless life is to tell me, where is that doll?”

Lex’s heart was thumping in her throat, and Gary could see that. It was coincidental that they locked eyes with each other. Gary gestured to the inside of his blazer, and Lex gestured to her bag as subtly as she possibly could, and then and there did they begin to concoct a silent plan.

“I don’t know! You saw it yourself, you animals took ‘em all! Please, let me go, for the love of God!” Frank pleaded, and Linda laughed shrilly.

“I met God. He had nothing nice to say about _you._ ” She stood, looking at her second in command, who remained robotic and cold. “Micah, give it to him,” she said, as Micah nodded.

Gary’s blood ran cold as Linda used the nickname Gary had given to Micah. He had to stop Micah. It was no longer fair on the other two, who had a chance at survival. It prompted Gary to move away from the pillar, just as Micah pressed the knife to Frank’s throat, and shouted at the cult, who collectively turned and hissed. But Gary kept his eyes locked on Micah, as he lifted the Wiggly out from his blazer.

Michael stood up and moved away from Frank, as Lex scuttled closer to her manager, inspecting him over for any marks, as the cult followed both Linda and Micah’s movements. “Gary Goldstein, with a _Wiggly_ doll? Who’d have ever thought a _slut_ like you would have been able to get what they wanted. Especially something as valuable as God himself!” She smiled. She knew what she was doing.

She’d personally chosen Micah to be her second in command. She knew about his trauma, she knew about how he felt towards Gary, and she felt the same. Gary, being the horrible person he was as he slept around, jumping from one person to the next, made himself an easy target for him to worship Linda.

But nobody had done a better job of worshipping Linda like Wilbur had. His hands wrapped around her, with every soft whisper of what he was going to give her, how he would adore her, and how he would ensure others did to. Now _that_ was a specimen she’d keep around. They’d changed, and she’d said her goodbyes, heading off to where he was guiding her. Now they were back to stage one, where she was face to face with her ex-lover.

She hung up the phone, marching forward, grabbing Gary’s wrist, and, to her surprise, he drew his wrist back. “You haven’t won, Linda,” he said calmly. “You’ll never win. There’s no way in _hell_ you think these people are going to adore you.”

“He has the lying tongue of a snake!” A cop from nearby shouted, and the cult began to hiss again. “Our mother will bring us guidance! She will bring us eternal love and support! And she will do that with Micah’s help!”

The nickname again, and Gary resisted the urge to look over to Micah. He could feel Micah’s eyes burning into his skull, and he gulped, nervous. He had to make sure this played out well enough.

“You aren’t getting the doll,” Gary said, and Linda laughed, turning to face her cult.

“You hear that? This pathetic excuse of a man stands between you and your God! Sally forth, in the name of Wiggly!” She said as she raised her hand, a bright green light forming above her, as she walked around the room.

Gary knew he was playing with fire as he teased Linda with the thing her heart was praying for. He knew it, because she was one of the highest members of society on the island, one of the pillars that kept the place running. He hated to admit it, but her running the Boat Club was one of the ways the island was able to run. Tourists hired boats and went for short yet relaxing cruises between Clivesdale and Hatchetfield, or sometimes took some of the boats out for their own entertainment, and it _sucked._ She’d become a successful businesswoman through her husband, who stashed money like candy, and somehow, she’d become a mensch from a business that was guaranteed to the flop.

It was exhausting. Gary hated to admit that he was jealous of her, but he was. He strived so hard for so long to be a successful man, and he thought being a lawyer would answer those problems, and it didn’t. Yes, Gary enjoyed being a lawyer, and yes, he was decently paid, but he wanted to be at the top of the pyramid like Linda.

He did _not_ want this stupid fucking green monster he held in his hand.

Now, unfortunately, he could see the green light that swirled above Linda, and Gary nearly became paralysed. His vision began to cloud over with false ideas of what he wanted. A family with Micah was one of them. At one point in time, yes, he would have wanted nothing more, but Micah was essentially dead. His heart was cold, and there was no way to coax the love out of him now.

“Show him what it’s like to be adored, boys.” Linda said, and two members of the group lifted her up, sitting her on his shoulders, as Micah slowly walked over to Gary, dragging his limbs behind him. Gary’s mind went back to The Apotheosis, where he was held against his will by the alien infection that forced him to sing and dance and do all the shit he hated, and yet he still wanted, still craved the fact that was he was tired of seeing others live out his dream.

Linda Monroe was the main person. She got people to kneel before her, adoring her, loving and worshipping her, because with a wave of her hand, her followers would give everything up for her. It wasn’t that it was her spitefulness that got to him, it was the fact that she would be adore like she’d always said, yet when Gary had said that he’d break up with Micah, he hadn’t had the courage to do it, and even now he hadn’t had the courage to talk to him.

“Hand it over,” Michael said, and Gary shook his head, looking down at the shorter man. He was exhausted of this cat and mouse type chase. He was always giving when he should be receiving, and he never forgave those who wronged him, nor did he forget. “Hand it over!” Micah growled, and Gary shook his head, gripping the Wiggly tighter. He knew that if the Wiggly became damaged, it would value nothing to the cult and they’d scour the scene until they could find one that would be valuable to them, that would contain enough sentient value for them that it’d benefit them. “Gary, I said hand it over!”

“We both know I’m not going to do that,” Gary said gently, and Michael made an attempt to snatch the doll. Gary, to spite him, lifted the doll above his head. Michael was trying to take what he wanted and wouldn’t return what he got. He knew, if it came to it, and no matter the cost, Michael would kill to idle the threat to Linda’s pride, which was Gary Goldstein himself.

Linda, currently, was destroying everything, and destroying everything again, with the green light following her like some sort of puppy. Anything in her path she destroyed, and she wasn’t stopping. It wasn’t like she could stop. Why should she stop? She was only interrupted by a short call from Gerald, but after, she continued to destroy.

Gary took the opportunity, once he saw Lex and Frank had managed to get out with _their_ Wiggly, that he lowered his arms. Michael went to swipe the doll from Gary but missed. Gary, instead, cupped Michael’s cheek and kissed him, flipping them around so Michael was against the wall. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was certainly one full of meaning, as it was enough for the green in Michael’s eyes to die down. Gary grabbed Michael’s radio, which was attached to his uniform, and pressed the button.

“Gary Goldstein to HQ, I’m with Micah. I’m coming to you.” He clicked the end of the button as Michael blinked. While Linda was caught up in one of her speeches, Michael looked at Gary.

“Gary?” he asked, and his voice was tired, and he was slumping forward. Gary knew Michael wouldn’t be able to escape if he didn’t carry him out then and there. He ignored his stitches, placing the doll back inside his blazer, lifted Michael up, and ran.

As he did, he could hear Lex calling for Hannah from afar, but they didn’t matter to him in that moment. Micah mattered, and he had to get Micah to John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the cult really said walk through fire just let me adore you to wiggly at the end of black friday didnt they, like you just know that toy-zone would play harry styles. you just know. And every time Lex heard 'tastes like strawberries' she would drop kick someone, and then ethan would sing watermelon sugar to fuck with her, and thats how ethan green ended up with no teeth 
> 
> when i kill john off, it's gonna be fuckin hard bro because xander's gonna fuckin go and grab him and vWOWom


	29. Do You Want To Play?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex sees Ethan and discovers the 'truth' and Ethan figures out exactly what the fuck is going on in Hatchetfield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is extremely suicide heavy, with mentions of the act and the thoughts. Skip to the end chapter for a more detailed summary so you won't have missed anything
> 
> further tw:  
> throat slitting  
> Manipulation  
> Death of a sibling  
> Death of a relative
> 
> also somehow, the scratch track, was featured in this chapter in a songfic version. if you don't have the scratch tracks, it's basically the song ethan would have sang to hannah in the cineplex. but i wanted to add it now. have a good day

Since escaping Linda and the other ‘cult members,’ Lex had been running around aimlessly with Frank with some sort of hope that her and Ethan were okay, were _alive._ If they weren’t…god knows what she’d do. Her soon-to-be adopted parents _couldn’t_ message her back because of the signals being down, so she couldn’t tell if they were okay, or if they’d even managed to read the email she sent.

Her head hurt, and she was running, calling for her sister, unaware of where Hannah really was. She continued to rush around the place, with Frank short on her tail, before she sank to her knees, tears threatening to spill over. She pulled at her shirt, almost as if that’d make it any easier to breathe, and Frank joined her on the floor. “Lex, I’m sure she’ll be okay.”

Lex shook her head, breathing as calmly as she could without making it obvious how upset she really was. If she had to be stuck with her fucking capitalist manager for the rest of her life, she may as well go and find one of the shoppers and get them to end it for her-

Wait. That was _not_ a good thought. But then again, it’s not as if she’d ever been optimistic towards any situation. She’d been raised in the shittiest area of Hatchetfield, and, if that wasn’t enough, she’d been bought up in an abusive household where _she’d_ had to be the one to raise her sister from birth. There was a nine year difference between her and Hannah, and yeah, she’d always had _Ethan but-_

Fuck. Ethan. And there she went again, thinking about _Ethan._ But not just about Ethan, about everything that came with him. Even from when he was 10 years old and still managed to calm down a baby Hannah while supporting Lex with her bruises. How a 12 year old Ethan looked at her with the calmest eyes known to man as she screeched at him for forgetting something important she couldn’t remember. How a 15 year old Ethan brushed his hand over hers, and when she went to look at him, he’d already looked away, his pale skin brushed with pastel pinks on his cheeks. When a 17 year old Ethan had enough of being ‘just friends,’ and in the middle of one of their typical fights, pinned her against the wall and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

Wasn’t it a shame she didn’t think she’d make it that far?

“Don’t make judgements that won’t come true,” she whispered to herself as she pushed herself to sit up, and when she did, she heard her name being called in an echo like state. Immediately, she began to panic and searched for the source of the noise, only to realise it was Ethan… _Ethan!_ He smiled so gently at her, she almost thought she was dreaming.

If only she actually was.

“What’s shakin’ babe?” He asked, gently titling his head as he looked at her, and she laughed, and relief flooded through her. There was a light in her chest that hadn’t been there before. She hauled herself to stand, heading towards Ethan, continuing to laugh.

“Oh, thank _god_ it’s you. It’s been…it’s been one _hell_ of a time away from you-“

“What’s wrong, Lexi?” Ethan asked as he gripped the barrier of the balcony in his hands so tight that his knuckles went whiter than white, and there was an unnerving smile on his face.

“Ethan?” She asked, now beginning to question if it was him….what if this was one of those fucking shoppers in his skin. Worse, what if this was a second wave of The Apotheosis, where the spores were becoming smarter, hiding the primary symptoms away, yet still allowing the virus to take root. Her heart began to pound, and Ethan seemed to detect it, as he shook his head, his eyes mockingly sympathetic.

“Don’t be scared, Lexi. It’s safe to come here to me! Or do I gotta put a _leash_ on you and pull you over here manually?” There was a snarl right on the edge of his voice, which didn’t help with her nerves.

“Ethan?” She asked softly, beginning to back away. “No, no, Ethan, let me come to you, okay? I’ll come to you and it’s-“

“Did you know I died?” He said, and she froze in her footsteps, looking at him.

“W-What?”

“I died, and _you_ weren’t there. Because you were a careless _bitch_ who tried to defend her little sister. Guess what? _She’s dead too,”_ he hummed, and Lex felt like she’d been pierced through the chest. She desperately wanted to ignore it, but he was confirming her worst fears. Ethan and Hannah had died, and she hadn’t been there. He had every right to be mad at her. But…if he was dead, how was he here?

“You’re lying!” She shouted at him, and he laughed, tilting his head back, but she could tell it was feigned.

“Come on, babe. You’re not gonna pretend you ain’t thought about dyin before? Especially not just then? Without me and banana split, you ain’t got nothin.” His nose twitched as he spoke, and Lex found herself tensing, shaking more violently. “Let me tell ya somethin. Dyin ain’t so bad. You should come join me in The Black and White. It’s _real_ nice, just like California! Cause it never rains.”

Lex shook her head. Now he was using her one ambition against her. The one thing that was driving her out of Hatchetfield, the one thing that was her cause for motivation, he was making fun of. She couldn’t find the words, and even if she knew what to say, the words got tangled in her throat, so her voice came out inaudible and choked. Then, Ethan did the unimaginable, on her behalf.

He lashed out.

He slammed his hand down on the balcony, and his eyes snapped to a violent shade of grey, his pupils thinning, and he was glaring straight at her. “YOU WERE ALWAYS FUCKING USELESS, WEREN’T YOU? YOU KNOW THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU, LEX, AND YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS!” He said, before he smiled again. “Give that doll to the woman in the black cape! She’s real _real_ nice, I swear on my own grave. Or two?” He made an option similar to that of shooting herself directly through the temple.

It was too much and she tore her eyes away, trying not to cry. When she looked up, he was gone. Vanished. She was still there. Her boyfriend and little sister were dead, and she had a feeling John and Xander were too.

Frank saw her struggle, of course he did, as it was hard for her to hide, so he approached her with good intentions, but she shrugged him away again before he had a chance to speak. “They’re dead,” Lex confirmed. “We’ve gotta go.” With that, she lifted her bag straps back onto her shoulders, turned, and walked away, wiping the tears from her eyes.

She didn’t know the truth.

* * *

On the other side of the mall was a pair of very lost kids. There was Ethan, who was stumbling, and being mindful of his injuries with Hannah, who clung onto Ethan’s side. Eventually, they reached a clearing in the mall with no shoppers. Ethan sighed a sigh of relief, guiding Hannah up to the food court, where he pulled out a couple of chairs from under the table, sitting down in one of them. “Hey, banana. We’re gonna find Lexi, you hear me?”

“Lexi sad,” Hannah repeated for the third time within the minute.

Ethan didn’t know how Hannah could tell, considering neither of them knew where Lex was, but he knew to trust Hannah when it was necessary. “I know she’s sad, and we’re gonna get there as soon as possible, but right now, I just gotta have a break. My side’s hurtin a little, okay Hannah?”

“Okay…” Hannah mumbled, and Ethan, not thinking anything of it, relaxed into the chair.

“Listen to me,” he said and looked back to her, panting slightly as he massaged his side, being mindful of his wounds. “Okay? No matter what the _fuck_ happens today, me, you and Lex? We’re all getting the fuck to California. I got the money in my bank right now, and I’m pretty sure the customer doesn’t want to come find me for the doll, so we’ll destroy it and we’ll get to safety. The three of us. God, I don’t know what’ll happen if we leave without Lex…” He laughed and ran a hand through his hair before cursing at a sudden wave of pain. “Ow.”

“Bad Ethan.” Hannah said, holding the magic hat tighter on her head, and Ethan looked up.

Ethan bit his lip and looked at her. He couldn’t be _that_ bad. He’d given everything up for her, for her _and_ Lex, and he’d do it again. “Hey,” he said softly, and she looked at him, and he smiled. “You’ve had a rough go, kid, haven’t ya? And you ain’t exactly had an ideal childhood. But me, you, and your sister, we ain’t chickenin out. We got a plan, it’s crystal clear. We’re takin my old jalopy up to California and goin off the map. We won’t be flyin blind.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “It ain’t like I ain’t disappeared off the map before…”

He frowned at the memory. He was only 8, and his parents suddenly barged in his room, declaring he had to pack his things. When he asked why, they did it for him. One of them grabbed his wrist, and soon they were off to Hatchetfield. No goodbyes, no nothing. He’d moved from Australia, as a matter of fact, and he still had the accent. His parents told him to blend in with the Americans as well as he could, so he hid it Only Lex knew the truth.

“It’s not the first time I left everythin behind…And I know you don’t wanna go, cause I didn’t either. But we’re gonna make it work, like we always do. And, for being a pain in the ass, I’m gonna make it up to you. Somehow, I ain’t got a fuckin clue how that’s gonna be yet, but I’m gonna. And yeah, I know if I don’t that the world’s gonna keep spinnin, but it ain’t gonna sit well with me. I’m gonna make it up to you and your sister for the years you lost wit your shitty mother, kay?”

“Kay.” Hannah said and nodded, and Ethan smiled slightly them, leaning against the back of the chair, continuing to look at her.

“Ya know, this ain’t all bad. Cali’s gonna offer you a future. You’re gonna get to go to school, whether you wanna or not, and it’ll all be normal. Well, normal enough for a group of kids who went off grid a little. But, with this, it means we can do whatever the fuck we want! We’ll be flyin free! And you gotta trust me with this one, banana, come on Hannah! It’ll be a big kid ride, how bout that?” He asked, and her eyes lit up with mere excitement at the mention of a ride.

“And I know you want your life to be closer to home, somewhere that wasn’t a page pulled from an atlas or a map. And I’m gonna make it up to you. Because I want to. Because I _have_ to. And I ain’t stoppin til I do. Does that sound good?”

“Good Ethan,” Hannah confirmed, and Ethan smiled again, only to be distracted by a few familiar voices down on the floor below them.

“Careful Tom, those maniacs could be anywhere!” Becky said, looking around, almost floating with how delicately she walked on the ground.

Tom, however, clutched was ruffling his hair and buttoning up his collar, and it appeared he was more nervous than Becky was. “Beck, about what we just did-“

“Tom, look! In the food court! It’s Ethan and Hannah!” She said and smiled gently. “Hi there. You don’t suppose you…got a Wiggly doll, do ya? And you ain’t seen anyone passin by who did?”

“No, ma’am. We’re good. We don’t need that shit.” Ethan said, throwing his hands up, but Hannah became freaked out again.

“No! No, bad Wiggly! Don’t listen to him! He’s bad, he’ll trick you!”

There was almost a booming voice and a crackling in the air, before the air turned green and time stood still. Hannah stood up and looked to the sky, scared about what was going on. She prodded Ethan first, and he didn’t tell her off like he always did, so she got up off her chair and stood, looking at the two glowing balls in the air.

“Hello, Hannah! Let’s be paly-wals! Don’t you want to tickle my tumsywumsy?” The voice said, and Hannah wasn’t dumb even for her age. She knew what this was, she knew _who_ this was, and with nobody else around to hear, then she’d have to deal with it herself.

“No. Webby says you’re bad. She said you’d try to trick me!”

“ _Well,_ Webby is a stupid _bitch!_ You could’ve served me willingly! But you and your sister are being rotten little bananas! I’m going to have to _peel_ you. I’m going to have to _split_ you in _two_. I’m going to eat you, Hannah! I’m going to eat you _right the fuck up!”_

Hannah began to shake and held the hat on her head before she screamed out, and the green vanished. None of the adults seemed to notice, though, not even Ethan, and they continued to talk. Hannah, however, was still shaking with fear about what she’d just seen, what she’d just been told. Webby was telling her not to tell anyone yet, so she wouldn’t.

“Aw, don’t worry kid! We don’t get tricked! We’re grownups!” Tom said, placing his hands on Becky’s shoulders as Becky walked closer to Ethan and Hannah. 

“You can trust us! We’re good people!” Becky insisted, climbing the stairs to the platform where the food court was, but Hannah immediately darted away. “Woah, woah, woah! Where are you goin’ sweetheart?”

“Banana?” Ethan asked, standing up, wincing as he did so, dragging one of his legs behind him as he walked towards her.

“California,” Hannah choked out after a while, a tear falling down her face as Tom gasped, looking at the nurse.

“Did you hear that, Becky? She’s goin’ to California!”

“Land of Hollywood and movie stars!” Becky smiled, but there was something too eery about her smile for it to be legitimate.

“But that’s an awful long way to go. Who’s gonna go take you? Ethan? With _Wexi?”_ Tom asked, sticking out his bottom lip, and Hannah nodded. “But Lexi’s _dead.”_

At the sudden news, Hannah began to cry more, backing away more. Ethan didn’t have time to process it, Hannah being his main responsibility as he rushed after her. “Hey, hey Hannah, come on we can get out of here, there’s still time, they’re lyin, come on!” but not even he could be sure. What if she was? What if they were getting to Cali without her?

“Why are you backin’ away from me, kid? I’m not gonna hurt you. Listen. I’ve been through hell today tryin’ to get a doll for my son. He’s about your age. And I’d do anything for him. Any goddamn thing. Even if it means pounding the guts outta some little twerp! Now gimme a fuckin’ doll!” Tom shouted, letting go of Becky, running up the stairs, making Hannah flee the scene, still holding the cap.

This caused Ethan to run after her too, concerned and worried for their safety. He’d always learned to trust Hannah in a situation like this. She was always right. He could hear Tom and Becky talking, but his mind was focused on the pain and Lex. He didn’t even want to think about if Lex was dead right now.

Eventually, Becky started calling for Hannah, and there was a sickeningly sweet song that followed. Ethan knew they were in danger, and this was something more than a psychotic doll that wanted revenge. “Hannah, run, we’ll be okay,” he told them, as they ran, Hannah in front of Ethan so he could protect her if needed and also so he could keep an eye on her.

 _“Let’s play some games! Let’s play some games, today. Funny games. Some funny games today!”_ Becky sang as they ran, but it was too late. They’d been spotted by Tom, and they were on their way over to them.

“Hannah, go!” Ethan hissed, a more frantic command, not wanting Hannah to get hurt in the frenzy, and she did as she ran. It wasn’t enough. Even if they tried to escape, they couldn’t have prevented Ethan tripping and falling in agony, which gave Tom Houston room to snatch Hannah, pushing her down beside Ethan, with Hannah now sobbing out of fear. “You’re okay,” Ethan mouthed, but he wasn’t sure if Hannah noticed. Instead, he turned to Tom, his former teacher, his former role model, and he shook his head. “Mr Houston, think about what you’re doing!” He said, but Tom ignored him.

“I got her, Becky, I’ve got her.” He said and smiled, with Becky kneeling beside them both.

“Hold her still!” She shouted, drawing back what appeared to be a syringe full of the same blue shit from The Apotheosis.

_Oh fuck. This was a second apotheosis._

Ethan immediately flinched, knowing Hannah wouldn’t survive the dosage in that syringe, and he didn’t want to watch Lex’s sister die. But with Becky’s groan and frantic look in her eyes, Ethan looked to her leg to see she’d injected herself with it, but instead of singing and dancing again, she became drowsy.

“You’re fuckin useless, Becky! Always have been, always will be!” Tom shouted, so with Becky now irrelevant to him, he let go of Hannah and stormed away, venturing on his quest for the doll.

Hannah scrambled into Ethan’s arms as he lay on the ground, with Becky mumbling her drugged words. Ethan hugged Hannah tightly, not having the heart to say she was hurting him by brushing over his stitches, but that didn’t matter. “Play asleep, Hannah. I’m with ya.”

Hannah nodded, closing her eyes and burying into Ethan as she did so, just as a couple of voices joined the room. Both of the security guards from earlier rushed up, and Ethan could tell by their voices. They’d succumbed to the doll apotheosis too.

“Look! In the food court! The little girl with the _pigtails!_ And who is this?” The second of the lot said, not Sam, but his co-worker, as he crouched beside Hannah.

“Her protector…and the _nurse.”_ Sam said, brushing his hand over Ethan’s hair. Ethan did his best not to tense, but was met with a sharp kick to the head from Sam’s boot. He hid a grimace, a spiral of pain enveloping his mind. He was just as weak as Becky was at this point. One more blow and he’d be joining Lex.

“Another couple of heathens, no doubt. Bring them as well. The prophet shall bathe in the blood of the unfaithful! Joyous day!” The second security guard said, as they scrambled to drag the two away. Hannah opened her eyes as a third, female officer held her, dragging her while Ethan was held by Sam considering the third security guard had been dragging Becky.

“ _You’ll be okay,”_ Ethan mouthed to Hannah, though he wasn’t too sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically, lex is running around with frank and instead of hannah seeing tbaw!Ethan, it's Lex. he basically says that he and hannah had died, and for the only way for things to be made right again was for if Lex handed over the Wiggly to Linda, or if she k****d herself. cut to the food court where Ethan is with hannah and he's like we're going to cali!! and then becky and tom ruin everything. Tom says that Lex is dead, and neither Ethan or Hannah processed it. DYWTP? happened and Sam kicked Ethan's head, and him, Hannah and Becky are being dragged away
> 
> side note: becky and tom were possessed by the wiggly, hence the change in speech to resemble wilbur cross', cause i'm a fuckin genius-  
> jks tho matt and nick lang are geniuses for comin up with this shit, goodnight!!!


	30. Made In America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> howard goes in the portal. things end up going not to original timeline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs:  
> Xander and flashbacks  
> Xander and getting worried
> 
> blood
> 
> there is an interlapping scene between howard + the black and white and xander + john, but it's simple to figure out

Xander hadn’t stopped panicking. He didn’t think he ever would, after this. They’d been through so much together, and yet there they were, back at square one. After all the attempts, after everything with Wilbur, Nick and Linda, after _everything_ they’d gone through just to have a piece of metal on their finger, he was still jumping headfirst into the portal.

Why did Xander fall for such a mindless fool? He loved John, how couldn’t he love someone so smart and sophisticated. His brain worked differently to Xander’s, instead of focusing on the bigger picture, he liked to see the minimal details it took to make the world work. It’s why he preferred watched over phones, and analogue watches over digital. He liked to watch the cogs, and how each one made the watch work, and without one, it’d stop. He was fascinated by it.

It’s how John worked. He preferred to look at the smaller details _before_ looking at the bigger picture. Xander had been entirely stupid to believe that, after having a chance to redo everything, to make things right, that they were back where they began. It wasn’t just mentally exhausting, chasing a daredevil into fire, but it was physically exhausting too. He’d shed too many tears over his general, and he knew the tears wouldn’t end now.

But when he heard the voices of Private Hartford and Private Slate calling for John, Xander fell silent again, returning to his methodical approach to life. He was forcing his eyes open. He didn’t want to shut them; he didn’t want to be back there. He didn’t want to have to reexperience The Black and White’s power. He wouldn’t have a choice, he wouldn’t have a say in this, but it didn’t matter to the team. Getting the president into safety and back out was their main concern. Not Xander.

It had never been Xander. Despite his achievements of endless cures and equations found, formed and created which had bought his status up to the ‘best field agent in the agency,’ he was still shrugged to the side. The amount of times he’d broken down after work because of the stress he’d gone through, being one of the only available theoretical physicists there, was unbelievable. John worked early hours of the morning until late in the evening. It was his duty as the general, but it was also his responsibility as a husband. Xander rarely saw him.

He’d fallen in love with a fool, and it’s a shame that he did.

Infront of him stood Bob Morris, goggling at the president, who was dressed in a tight-fitting black suit with a bubble helmet. Xander knew this was guaranteed to work. It wasn’t like it shouldn’t. He’d seen the outcome before. He’d seen the outcome once before, and hadn’t been able to think of anything after. He watched John take charge again, beckoning the president forward, and they turned and walked away. Only when Xander was alone in the room, his eyes flicking over to his anxiety meds on his desk that he’d already taken, did one of the agents notice his discomfort. “Lieut? You okay?” Slate asked, and Xander looked up. He offered a sad chuckle and threw on a false smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, and snatched the bottle, shoving it into his pocket, before following his moron of a husband.

* * *

Meanwhile, John was standing on the balcony that overlooked the hissing green portal, the mouth to The Black and White. Usually, it was purple, and it swirled, but now it was spitting venom, and it was ready to fight. He unclipped the radio from his vest, flicking it on. “Alright, Mr President, beginning inter-dimensional convergence with The Black and White.” He said simply, and he heard Howard offer a groan of protest from below him. 

“I don’t know about this, John. Foreign policy was never my strong suit.”

“Again, sir, we’re not sending you in there half-cocked, sir. We have a hydrogen bomb ready to deploy into The Black and White if need be.”

“Oh, God, I think I’m gonna puke.” Howard groaned again, a hand on his stomach as he stared at the green portal before him. He’d only ever thought this kind of thing happened in fairy tales. This was _not_ supposed to be his downfall.

“I still don’t think he should be going in there,” Morris said, shifting his weight on to his other leg. John gestured behind him at an empty chair that he could take, and Morris nodded, gladly seating himself. At the same time, Xander walked up and leaned against the balcony. John chose to ignore him for now, but not forever.

“Mr President, the greatest strategic value of nuclear weapons has always been deterrence. Wiggly is a being who has never contemplated his own annihilation. If threatened with such, he may retreat from our reality. Good luck, and godspeed.” John watched as the president stepped into the portal and took another, longer breath on the cigarette, before he heard Xander speak.

“You’re going to go in again, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question that Xander asked, because he already knew the answer.

John bit down on the cigarette then. He’d _really_ hoped they wouldn’t have had to have this conversation, but Xander wasn’t blind. Xander was smart, the smartest guy in the field, and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t oblivious to what was happening around him. “You know there isn’t another option.”

“Suits, John! Suits!” Xander said and turned his head to look at John. “There are suits! But you chose to be a mindless fool, you chose to leave me behind!”

“Don’t you _dare_ say I chose to do such a thing!”

“I begged for you not to go in! You didn’t listen! You never listen! If I’m the smartest guy in the field like you love to claim, then why the hell can’t you listen to the advice I give you instead of choosing what to do for yourself?!” He asked, and John blinked. That meant Xander was right, if John didn’t reply with some witty remark. “You went to grab the president disregarding my concerns, you went in the portal and died the last time. I bought you back, I always bring you back. But this time…this time if you go in that portal without a suit, I’m not going to bother trying. I love you, John, but if you’re going to continue to use yourself to be a sacrifice to revive humanity, then I’m going to move on. I want to be treated and recognised for the hero you claim I am, not just human.”

“I’m sorry, Xander…” John said and looked at him. “I-I had no idea you felt that way towards this…”

“Any logical reason would. There’s a suit already prepared for you.”

“I…I better go get changed, hadn’t I?” John laughed nervously, looking at Xander, who was looking away from him. He took his beret off and walked over to him. “If anything happens to me…” he placed the beret in front of Xander and kissed his cheek. “You have the potential to continue my legacy. Be the hero you want. I love you.” With that in mind, he stepped down the stairs, going out to find the suit that Xander had prepared for him.

He trusted Xander, how couldn’t he, but he was more scared than anything. He hid it well, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t deny it, but he knew, if he didn’t make it out of The Black and White today, PEIP was in good hands in Xander’s reign. He knew he was making the right decision.

* * *

Within the portal, Howard could hear the various clasps being fastened on a suit, as well as zippers. It wasn’t calming Howard’s nerves, so he chose to speak to himself to ensure he remained as grounded in this alternate dimension as possible. “Breathe, breathe, breathe.”

 _“Mr President, do you copy?”_ Came John’s voice on the other side of the radio, and Howard gulped, not expecting a reply so suddenly.

“Yeah, John, I hear ya,” he said simply. Maybe Morris was there too. Maybe Morris could hear everything that was going on.

 _“What do you **see**?” _John asked, and Howard took time to look around, allowing his eyes to adjust,

“I see…blackness, endless blackness.” He flipped on the camera on the tablet that he’d been told to take into The Black and White by John. He could tell these images were going to be projected on to a screen back at HQ. He only hoped that he was doing enough for his country. “Hello? Hello? My name is Howard Goodman. I’m President of the United States of America…Earth…I demand to speak to the entity known as Wiggly!” There was a painful pause and Howard sighed. “There’s nothing here…” he said, only to hear a ripple of what seemed like water nearby him. 

“ _Howie, Howie,”_ a very singsong like voice spoke, with water being splashed on to the back of his suit.

“Hello?” Howard asked at once, spinning himself around, only to hear children’s laughter from somewhere else in here. Were there children in here? What if there _were_? Would he be blamed if they were dead? He didn’t want to think about it.

“ _Howie.”_ The voice spoke for a final time and Howard became increasingly frustrated, as he heard the whirring of wind somewhere within the once still realm.

“For God’s sake, what do you want?!” Howard asked, as his radio switched on again.

 _“Calm down, Mr President, you have to-“_ Came John’s voice, but it cut off very suddenly.

“No, John, I can’t hear you!” He said, and the distress became clearer in his voice. “Can anyone hear me?”

 _“Mr president, you have a direct link to HQ. You aren’t alone. Remain still.”_ The other agent, Xander, told him, so Howard did.

He followed the instructions, stopping and looking around, only for a light to switch on in the portal. Howard held the tablet out in front of him so HQ could see what was happening, just in case anything happened. There was a figure that stood in place, with slicked back, auburn hair, dressed all in denim, holding a green apple in his right hand, a watch on his left wrist. There were badges on his breast pocket, but from the distance, Howard couldn’t decipher what they were.

“I can hear ya loud and clear, Mr Pwezzy-Wezz.” He said in a mildly mocking tone as he held flashed a grin towards the president. “How are you doin’ there, Howie?”

“Who are you?” He asked, and rightfully so. He could hear whispers through the static on the radio, but there didn’t seem to be anything concerning coming from that end regarding the situation. 

Instead of receiving a name, the man continued to talk. “Do you know why it had to be a doll?” He asked. Howard shook his head as the man took a bite of the green apple and chewing on it as he spoke. “It all boils down to belief. It’s a powerful thing. You see, people don’t _believe_ in governments anymore. No matter who the masses vote for, they always get the same thing. The poorer get poorer, and the rich, well, they just get richer.” He swallowed the bite, smiling wide as he barked the truth back at Howard. “Swamped in student debt, credit card debt, medical bills, the people have been abandoned by _everything!_ Everything except…products.” He laughed then, and Howard became uncomfortable. “That’s the only comfort they have left! And _you_ , the President of the United States, you were Wiggly’s greatest ally!”

Reasonably, Howard became shocked by this information that he was receiving. Was he evil? No. If he was evil, he wouldn’t be the president…unless… “No, that’s not true, I can’t be evil! I’m a status quo Democrat!”

 _“Mr President, who you are dealing with here is Colonel Wilbur Cross, assumed dead as of January 16 th 2005\. He is mentally insane. Tread carefully, and don’t let him get to you,” _Xander spoke from the other line, as he watched the famous face of Cross on the big screen. At the same time, John trudged up the stairs and looked at Xander, opening the helmet, looking to the screen.

“That’s Cross, huh? He got old,” John tried to joke, but he felt Xander’s eye roll from a mile away. “I’ll be back soon. I’ll be safe.”

“You’d better be, John. I love you.” Xander reminded, and John leaned forward.

“I love you too, Firefly. I’ll see you soon.” John fastened his helmet, saluting to his husband, before he rushed down the stairs. Xander watched helplessly as the portal engulfed John. He prayed it wasn’t too late like last time. 

Back in the portal, Wilbur was still monologuing directly towards Howard, and he didn’t care. Why should he care about something so minor to him? “Only in America could Wiggly take root!” He stepped forward, placing the apple in the palm of Howard’s hand, smiling towards the tablet. “Hold this.” He said before stepping back, three little green monsters Howard remembered seeing in the adverts for the Wiggly dolls appeared behind him. The one with the golden, shoulder length hair, the one with red hair and the one who looked too much like Howard for him to be comfortable. “You think that in the Netherlands they’d give a shit about some toy? No, they’re too busy on their _paid vacation_ and their free healthcare! You empowered Wiggly, _you_ invited him in! And now you come into his house to make demands out of _him!_ Stone, Cat, Spy. Fuckin’ destroy him!” Wilbur said, pointing at the president, and the three monsters, the Sniggles, lurched forward, and Howard found himself running backward as Wilbur laughed, pointing at him.

 _“You thought that you could outsmart the very thing that runs through blood of your kind. Sick with greed and a lust for that, you will give up your will and your pride. You’re hoping to be saved, no matter what you have raised, behold the depths of depravity ‘n’ decay. It happened on your watch, your time is running up, before world’s collide.”_ He pointed directly at the tablet again as the Sniggles began to circle Howard, more and more appearing, and soon all 8 of them were in the small area. _“You went and opened the box! And then he came in a slick little package that drove you insane ‘cause your thirst for stuff is never slaked!”_ The Sniggles laughed at their master’s quip, as he continued to rant to the president about the truth. It was about time.

 _“And now the end is nigh! The apocalypse here in a package that’s not what it appears You may ask “why the doll?” Well that’s all it takes when you’re made in America! In a Valley of Silicone!”_ He pushed Howard out of the way and hopped up on to one of the empty supply boxes, smiling. _“Welcome to Wiggly’s shop! Your America assembly line! We got toys, and trucks, and big fat butts that’ll help you pass the time! Hey kids, you know that you grow up with all the crap you want? Just sprinkle it with dust and a gob of fuckin’ lust and you’ll wave your world goodbye!”_ Then the monsters began to sing Wiggly’s name, and Howard found himself staring up at a pair of green glowing eyes. What the _fuck._

“Hello, Mr Pwezzy-Wezz! Welcome to Drowsy Town!” The familiar child-like voice of Wiggly spoke, but it wasn’t Wiggly…it was some huge green monster…this was Drowsy Town? Like in the adverts? Christ, he was trapped there, he was sure of it.

“it’s you!” Howard stuttered out, and the monster tilted it’s head.

“Don’t be frightened! _You’re_ my bestest buddy-wud!” It declared as the Sniggles danced underneath it’s tentacles.

Howard shook his head, remembering what John had told him to do.

_Negotiate a peace with Wiggly._

“No! I’ve come to tell you…to _leave us alone!”_ That prompted both the Sniggles and Wiggly to start laughing in the same childish manner as one another.

“Leave? Just before Christmas?” The monster asked, it’s tentacles shaping into a frown. “It’s going to be my birthday, you know. I wouldn’t want to miss out on opening all my presents. I think I’ll start with you. I’m going to cut _open_ your belly-well, and deck the halls with your gutsy wutsys!” While this was happening, Wilbur stood guarding the monster, doing nothing but watching with a twisted smile on his face. Howard backed away, still holding the tablet out in front of him, as the Sniggles cornered him, only for there to be a splash again that soaked the Sniggles, making them scatter away, and a booming voice from nearby.

“ _ENOUGH!”_ It shouted, and Howard turned to see John there, in the same kit as Howard was in. Howard laughed, relieved, as he looked at him.

“John!” He said, as John rushed forward, not taking his eyes off of the monster.

“ _YOU!”_ Wiggly growled, but John shook his head.

“Your minions may do me no harm, Wiggly, for I cut through them with a blade of truth! Be gone!” He made a slicing motion through the air, and one of Wiggly’s tentacles came clean off, causing a wave of water to hit the suits. John felt the water splash his face, but it wasn’t like it was dangerous. He knew, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been there before.

“I’m sorry, John, I fucked it up!” Howard said, and John shook his head.

“Don’t worry. Let’s get you back to Bob.” John said, his eyes understanding. It had been so long since that high school, since they’d even spoken to each other, yet they still understood each other as clear as day. Howard nodded, following John’s lead, as Wilbur’s voice echoed from behind them.

“You’re too late, John! Your little hero stunt won’t work! Wiggly’s prophet has been chosen, and as soon as _she_ has a doll, she will bring around his birth!” There seemed to be the vibrations in the water that resembled a beat, and the harsh playing of the electric guitar as music began to play from in the realm.

“Ignore the music, Howard. Focus on getting out of here. You’re okay,” John reassured, and Howard nodded. They _had_ to be okay.

 _“You opened the box!”_ Wilbur and the Sniggles sang together as they followed the President and John. They were out for revenge. Well, aside from Pob. But Pob was different. “ _A doll came out and he’ll touch down soon to erase any doubt that he’s all you need, to fill your heart!_ ” Wilbur continued to sing, getting closer to Howard, considering there was a brighter green flash behind him that seemed to surround the path on the floor.

“ _Now the end is nigh! The apocalypse here,”_ Wilbur and his henchmen sang together, before Wilbur took the lead again. “ _In a package that prays on the worst of your fears! The gambit is done! A work of art! That was made in America! In a valley of silicon!”_

“There, the portal! You must go, Mr President, go _now!”_ John insisted, turning to face the president, red droplets on John’s face.

“But what about you?” Howard asked, and John placed his gloved hand on Howard’s shoulder.

“I’ll be there. Let me just be a hero, just this once. Zee, I love you.” John said, letting go and saluting to Howard. “It’s been an honour to serve.”

“Sure.” Howard said before he exited the portal safely.

Now it relied on John. He knew what he had to do. He stared up at his mentor and shook his head. “You gave me faith, Wilbur. You gave me so much faith. And here we are. I’m sorry I have to do this…” he said before he grit his teeth, grabbing Wilbur’s jacket collar and the chain around his neck. He snapped it off before grabbing one pin in particular. It was blue that faded to purple, that was in the shape of a test tube. He snatched it too before he bolted out of the portal. Wilbur’s power was gone, and John had the key to The Black and White in his hand.

* * *

Back at HQ, Xander or Morris hadn’t taken their eyes off the screen. When John appeared, Xander smiled so hard his cheeks hurt, but John was okay, John was _alive._ When Howard burst out of the portal, Xander ran down the stairs and to his side. He knew John wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He had to have at least tried, hadn’t he? “Hey, hey, hey, Howie, are you all right?”

“I-I’m okay!” He said and looked up. “I’m alive! I’m okay!”

“Howie!” Morris shouted as Xander moved away from the president, only for Morris to wrap his arms around Howard, helping him get the helmet off, placing a kiss on Howard’s hair. “You’re okay!”

“I’m okay!” Howard said and hugged his boyfriend back. “I did it.”

“I knew you could,” Morris said and squeezed Howard tightly.

“Oh, Xander, about John-“ Howard said, and Xander felt his heart sink until the portal spat the person in question out. He staggered forward, and Xander was waiting with open arms, holding him tightly.

John was panting, but Xander didn’t mind. He helped him to the floor and got John’s helmet off. “You did it, honey.” Xander said softly, and John looked at him, smiling tiredly, holding up the pin.

“And I got the key to The Black and White.”

“You did?” Xander asked, and John smiled.

“And I got his chains, but that’s more for my benefit than yours-“

“I love you.” He said, and cupped John’s cheek. “Even if you are covered in blood.”

“Blood?”

“Yeah. Blood.” Xander smiled and kissed the side of his forehead that wasn’t covered in blood. “You go shower. We can go get Lex and Hannah after.”

“Fuck it, we’re going now. I need to go get ‘em, honey. We gotta-“

“Then let’s go. Just get out of that suit.” He said softly. John nodded and pulled Xander into a quick kiss, leaving the pin in the palm of Xander’s hands.

Maybe, just maybe, there was faith. Maybe they’d work this out. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IN A VALLEY OF SILLICONE A A A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A AA A A A pob feature sequel anyway good news i know wtf is gonna happen for book 4


	31. Black Friday/Monsters and Men Reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex saves the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!TW: SUICIDE HEAVY CHAPTER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!
> 
> More TWs:  
> Shooting, guns, death, death of a family member, thoughts of commiting the deed, eyeing teenage girls up, pedos, stabbings1!!

“Sit down, John, you’re gonna pass out if you don’t,” Xander said as he ran after his husband, pulling up a chair in the middle of HQ, setting a glass of water down beside it.

“I gotta get to Lex!” John insisted, and Xander pushed him down into the chair, not surprised to find John lacking a will to fight back. He pushed John’s hair behind his ear as John took the glass of water, drinking it quickly, taking a breath in-between breaks. “I need to get to Lex,” he repeated, his voice calmer, more steady, and Xander nodded, taking John’s hand.

“I know you do, but you don’t have to leave HQ to do that,” he explained, and John furrowed his eyebrows as if to tell him that he was easy. Instead, Xander looked up into John’s eyes, allowing his own to flash blue and John’s eyes widened.

“How did you do that?” he asked, tilting his head, and Xander shrugged.

“I’ll explain all later. But for now, we need to focus on getting to Lex. So, Mr General, put your fucking beret on, close your eyes, and picture yourself in front of her. I’m right here and I’m gonna guide _you_ through this.” He stood as another agent bought over a second chair for Xander to sit in.

“What’s going to happen?” John asked as Xander took a seat, setting the glass of water down beside him.

Xander took John’s second hand and looked at it. “You’ll be able to speak to her through The Black and White. Now you’ve been in there, now you have the key, you can do amazing things. Now you have the key, you can pretty much project yourself as a hologram in front of anyone, do what you want as long as it’s safe. Don’t use this power just because you can, do you understand?”

“I understand.” John repeated. “And it’s safe?”

“It’s 100% safe.”

“How do you know?” He asked as he closed his eyes, feeling his husband squeeze his hands.

“Because the key was in my hands once. Now listen to my voice. Let me guide you to Lex. I’m here, and you’re safe. Now, breathe, and focus.”

* * *

“The exit!” Lex said, relieved. An exit without a possessed shopper guarding it. “Yes! Yes, Frank, come on, we’ve got to go!” She shouted, turning, to see Frank sprawled out on the floor, but slowly getting up. “Frank? Frank, what happened?”

“Keep your voice down,” he said as he stood, a dark red patch staining his shirt on his stomach. Lex looked at him, concerned and shocked, and the nod he gave confirmed her worst fears. He stumbled forward slightly, one hand on the wound, another on her shoulder. “I have faith in you, Lex. Run. Run before they get you. Get to California.”

“What about you?! You’re hurt!” She said, looking up to her boss, and he shook his head.

“I’ll be okay. There are medic kits everywhere, I’ll find one and stitch myself up.”

“Do you even have the training?”

“No I do not, but a shitty job is better than not having a go at all.” He admitted, taking a breath. “Run. Don’t look back. Run while you can.”

She nodded, noticing him being sincere, and shrugged herself out of his grasp. The exit she’d been heading towards now had a member guarding it, and they’d noticed her. She cursed, walking backwards before she broke out into a sprint, running far away from that exit. The other one was quite a while away. She was unarmed, and could only hope she wasn’t going to get caught. Of course, it didn’t work out in her favour as she felt her arms get tugged behind her back, a harsh rope binding them together. She turned and saw Sherman Young being the person responsible for her being held captive. This was it.

This was how she met her end.

Sherman didn’t speak as he pushed Lex forward, taking her to a more distant area of the mall, one she never really went to, which consisted of the food court, and a few other kiddy stores. She knew Ethan liked to take Hannah to this side of the mall so she could choose out new toys when he had the money. Her heart ached, and she had a feeling Sherman was doing this deliberately, forcing her to be in the area where her sister loved the most, the area that carried some of the heavier memories for her boyfriend and sister. The two she’d never see again. She had no idea if Ollie or Lucas made it out alive. She had no idea _if_ they were alive. She was alone and afraid. What she’d do if she could turn back time and deny the offer to take up an extra shift.

Eventually, Sherman spoke, letting go of her with one arm, pushing his glasses up, and laughing in a very creepy manner, one that made her hairs stand up straight on her arms. “End of the line, infidel! May your death throes echo through Drowsy Town and awaken the wiggly one!” Sherman declared, and Lex, having given up quite some time ago, decided that she had to at _least_ try even if it got her nowhere.

“Come on, Sherman! It’s me, Lex! I’ve seen you in Toy-Zone every week for the past two years! Haven’t I always helped you out?”

“You’re in retail,” he scoffed, holding her wrists tighter in his hands. “It’s your _job_ to help me!”

“Yeah, but I’ve always done favours for you, and that’s not listed in my contract! Who set aside those ponies so you could get to ‘em before the little girls that they were made for?” Sure, she wasn’t _supposed_ to set things aside for customers, and sure, she usually did it anyways, but she was still pissed at Mr Houston for ditching her with short notice, leaving her with nothing. It’s the only reason she didn’t set aside a Wiggly for him, otherwise she would have.

“You?” Sherman asked, and Lex nodded, pleaing with herself that she’d be let go, just so she could make a break for it. In the slim chance that John and Xander were alive, she’d go to them. She was well aware she’d have to explain why she was without Hannah or Ethan, and she’d prepare herself for that when she reached the hurdle she knew she’d have to jump. It’d be hard, but then again, so was everything else in life.

“Yeah. Me. And if you let me go, I’ll help you out again. I’ll get you all the ponies in the world! And-and I’ve got some fucked up extras in the store room that we were supposed to ship back, all the colours are messed up.

“You? You have _ponies!_ Enough for me to fill _all_ my desires? Including one of a kind mispaints?!” He said and his tone became more excited, and Lex finally thought she could have a chance to get out of here. “You’d better not be fucking with me, Alexandra.”

“No. I’d never. Not to such a loyal customer,” she said, which was a lie in itself. She hated Sherman. He always eyed her up, looking specifically towards her chest when she spoke to him, and she could also feel his eyes whenever she turned. It happened too often for it to be considered an abnormality.

“Then take me to the ponies! Then I’ll murder you later.”

She felt him let go of her wrists and she could have cried with relief then and there, but she didn’t. In fact, she thanked him, and turned to face the older man. “Okay, oh, thank you Sherman! And about those mispaints.” She kneed him in the crotch area, spitting at him, slowly backing away. “I threw them in the _fucking trash!”_ She shouted, but the injury Lex had made him sustain wasn’t enough to stun him for too long, for he stood back up, following her, infuriated.

“When they mess up the colours, it makes them more valuable! Those were collectors items and you killed the ponies! And now, I’m going to kill _you!”_ He shouted, kicking her to the ground. While she was weak, he wrapped an arm around her neck, squeezing it tight, and Lex didn’t hold back the tears then. She let herself cry. If this was how she was spending her final moments, then she knew she’d see Ethan and Hannah on the other side. They’d been parted, and soon they’d been reunited. After all, this was what she’d wanted.

And this was what she’d lived for, wasn’t it? All her efforts to be a good big sister, all her efforts to do the most for her family so they continued to live had lead to her being choked in to a toy store. She closed her eyes, and she saw the grinning faces of Ethan and Hannah on the other side. They were waiting for her, but there was a twist. They were in the same hell as she was. They were in the Lakeside, and she could see that. She could see the entrance pictured crystal clear behind them, and they were grinning. Were they still alive? She couldn’t tell for she gasped for breath and her eyes flew open, but they were clouded with tears. When she shut her eyes again, they were gone.

They were _gone._

She had to admit that there was something beautiful about the situation she was trapped in. She was witnessing her death through her own eyes as well as through someone else’s. Everything she’d ever done had lead to her being awake for her funeral, but she knew, sooner or later, the lid of the casket would close, so that may as well be now.

She’d gone her whole life trying, and never succeeding, which sucked on it’s own part, but what was she supposed to do? She wallowed in her sorrows every single week, with Ethan’s arms wrapped around her tightly, as she supported a new bruise on her eye, or her arm, or a new set of cuts on her back. Sometimes she’d be crying with Hannah in her arms, as Lex rocked her, singing a shaky lullaby to calm her. _That_ hadn’t been a part of the plan her father had left for her after he’d vanished.

She’d never known her father, but as she was growing up, she could tell he hadn’t wanted her to live in moral poverty. She could almost detect his presence wherever he went, in a very protective manner. Still, it wasn’t like _she_ was the angel heaven sent to protect Hannah, to break through any cliché boundaries that set her back, that labelled her as trailer trash…unless she was Hannah’s guardian angel, and if it wasn’t her, then it was Ethan.

But today, today of all days, she felt her feelings overwhelm her, and she could picture the raincloud that weighed her down begin to pour. Friday was black, and not as in the colour, as in the feeling, as in the emotion, as in the weight that wouldn’t lift after hours of sobbing. Her breathing was becoming shorter, and they were short bursts more than breaths, and she knew that this was how she’d died. She’d dreamed her dream of getting to California, and she couldn’t even do that. She’d made mistakes, and this was one of them, and she couldn’t turn back.

Instead, she tried to focus on any lessons she should be learning from this event. In the slim chance she even got out alive, she had to figure out how to adapt from this, how to get better. Was it because she’d wanted to escape a roof over her head, somewhere where there was food and support even if it was toxic? Should she never have wanted freedom? Should she never have wanted a family? God, she’d never even got started on that last point. If she could have told Ethan she loved him, then maybe, _just_ maybe, things would have turned out fine. But the decks were always stacked, and they continued to build themselves higher as Lex opened her eyes again, her vision blurred and out of focus.

In a way, she knew this was doing her a favour, that this event was a godsend to her. It would be easier than her holding a gun to her head, or her stealing John’s alcohol for Hannah to find Lex’s lifeless body on the kitchen floor in the morning. She knew she’d fallen low, and she knew she should have spoken up about it, but in reality, she had been planning for her to meet her end on the Sunday, just before Ethan’s 19th birthday. She was cruel, and she wasn’t taking it back. She couldn’t because in her eyes, there wasn’t anything to subtract.

But if she spoke out about it, if she spoke out about her many attempts where Ethan had cradled her as she vomited whatever she’d swallowed up, or ended up in the hospital leaving herself in eternal debt with no way to pay it off, she’d only receive half-baked sympathy she didn’t need. This was Hatchetfield. Nobody would care about a girl like her. _Nobody_ would care. Nobody did care, because sympathy didn’t revive the dead. Yet Lex had always hoped she had that one protective soul that watched over her, and she hoped that they were there during her final moments.

She wasn’t making it to California, not alive, anyways. Only her ashes would see the sea at that point, because she couldn’t walk, and the burning around her throat got tighter. She could only think back to Hannah. Hannah. She never knew what Hannah meant to her, when she was born, and she held that tiny baby in her arms. She didn’t know why all of a sudden she cared about this baby, and why she always wanted to hold her, and to rock her to sleep. Was _Hannah_ the one thing to pull her through? Did she need Hannah to keep going more than Hannah needed her? She didn’t know, but she knew that Hannah would have always been able to go on without her, and it was the reasons he was letting go, giving up the fight. No matter where Hannah was, Ethan was with her.

She shut her eyes, letting her breathing slow, until she felt a gust of wind in her face. Unnerved, she opened her eyes and saw John in front of her, and she felt a tear being brushed off his face. “John…” She said, looking up to him, and John smiled gently.

“Hi, Lex.” He said and moved to kneel before her. “I’m with Xander, we’re both okay, we’re in HQ. We defeated part of Wiggly, but you need to do the final deed.”

“What do you mean-“ She asked, and he held out a gun. “But I can’t touch it, you’re like a fuckin ghost.”

“I’m not dead, just a partial gun. If you believe, you can reach into The Black and White and take it from me. Hannah has the same power, it’s how she talks to Webby.”

“Hannah’s _dead,_ and it’s my fault.” She said, looking away from him, but John shook his head.

“Lex, look into my eyes.” He said, and to his surprise, she did just that. “She’s okay. She’s with Ethan. But you need to save the world. Make a solemn vow to yourself that you are going to become your best self now, take the time that comes to you, and lead the pack. I can show you the path, but only you can walk it. Time is running out, so what are you gonna do?”

“I-I’m going to kill you!” She shouted, and suddenly there was a gun in her hand, and she’d shot Sherman from the jaw upwards. He was dead, falling backwards, and she was free. She looked at herself in shock, and back to John. “What-“

“Nice shot, Lex.” John smiled gently, chuckling. “We aren’t through yet. The leaders of our world are lost and helpless, and _you’ve_ been called to serve. If you can push through and defeat Wiggly, he’ll be defeated everywhere else.”

“What do you need me to do?” She asked, and John didn’t hesitate to keep going.

“Gather your forces. There is a warrior of light trapped in a deep sleep. Wake the warrior, kill the prophet, save the world. Now I need to go and organise things with my husband, alright? Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah-yeah I’ll be fine but John?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

John smiled wide at that, cupping her cheek. “I love you too. Now go. Get to the entrance, wake the warrior, save the world,” he repeated, and Lex watched them fade from in front of her.

Hannah and Ethan were alive. It didn’t make the situation any better, but she could find them, save them, and they could go. They could get to California without any consolation. They’d be _okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasn't this a festive chapter!!!


	32. If I Fail You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex steps up to the plate and knocks some sense into Tom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's if i fail you, so,,, yeah
> 
> possible tws:  
> gun mentions  
> manipulation  
> death  
> jane perkins' death mentioned  
> distancing a connection between father and child

John opened his eyes and took a breath, collapsing forwards into Xander’s arms, coughing slightly, but he felt the familiar feeling of Xander’s hand through his hair. “She- Lex? Did she do it. Did she take the gun?” He asked and looked at Xander who nodded.

“You used your power for the good of the world. You helped her.”

“She’s in the Lakeside Mall. Her and Hannah got separated, and Lex fears Hannah’s dead. I told her that Hannah and Ethan weren’t but God, how was I supposed to know?!”

“Shh, shh, I know, I’d have done the same,” Xander reassured, holding John’s forearms in his own. “But right now, we need to go. We need to turn around, and we need to get in the car, and head over. If there is any chance of Hannah being alive, then we’d better go get her, before Lex meets her fate too.” Xander tugged on John’s arms to get him to stand up, and he leaned against his husband.

“She was in a chokehold with that Sherman guy, the really creepy one. She was in a chokehold, and she was sobbing, she was going to _die!”_

“And we’re going to get there before she does, I promise.” Xander said, wrapping his arm around John’s waist as they walked. “Slate!”

“Yes, sir?” Private Slate asked, fumbling to put his glasses on, saluting to the Lieutenant.

“Organise a journey back to The Oval Office for President Goodman and his second in command.”

“Lou’s already done it, sir. Have a safe journey.”

“We will, don’t worry.” Xander nodded and assisted John out to their car. He unlocked it, and John clambered in the passenger seat. Xander reached behind him in the backseat and slid a spare gun into the empty pocket on John’s military vest. “Now let’s get to Lex. Let’s get there before _they_ do.”

* * *

Tom Houston, miraculously, had managed to grab a Wiggly from someone, from somewhere, and he was inches from freedom. With a wide grin on his face, he swung open the doors to the Lakeside, heading outside of Toy-Zone to the place where his car was. “Alright, little buddy,” he started, directing everything towards the doll instead of to himself. “Just gotta pass through this doorway and we’re home free-Oh. I hope they didn’t tow my car. That’d be _just_ my luck.” He shook his head as he heard footsteps come after him from behind, followed by the loud clash of the Toy-Zone staff room door with the brick wall.

“Mr Houston,” Lex shouted, and Tom scoffed. He couldn’t have anything, could he? He couldn’t even deliver this doll to his _son_ without getting stopped. “Mr Houston, turn around!”

“What are you gonna do, Lex?” He asked as he slowly turned around, and he felt a sickening feeling as he saw the gun pointed back at him. He felt himself begin to shake at the sight but hid it well. “What, are you gonna shoot me?” He asked, feeling his voice tremble before he noticed it. He coughed to hide _that_ as well. “Or are you going to let me go home to my son? I’ve had a shitty day! And I’d appreciate it if you’d get that damned gun outta my face!” 

“Just put down the doll, please, Mr Houston! I need your help, but you gotta put down the doll,” she said, and there was a tone of desperation her voice, one Tom hadn’t heard in years.

“Why in fucks name would I put him down? You only want him for yourself! Well, it’s too bad, Lex, because I’m leavin, and I’m taking this doll to my son!”

“Mr Houston, open your eyes! You aren’t holding a doll!” She shouted, but Tom looked down to his hand and saw that he was, in fact, holding a doll…wasn’t he? “Your son doesn’t want the doll. Your mind’s been warped to think he does. Tim doesn’t want cuddly plushies. He wants _you.”_

“ _Don’t_ tell me what my son wants as if you know more about him than I do!”

“By the sounds of things, I’m the one who’s worked _for_ kids! I’ve watched the little bastards jump around Toy-Zone since I was 16 years old! I’m pretty sure what I’m talking about when I say that Tim never wated a doll to begin with!”

“Of _course_ he wants a doll! Every kid on the island wants one!”

“No, think about it! Did Tim ever say he wants or wanted a Tickle-Me Wiggly?”

Tom took time to consider what Lex was saying, and as far he was concerned, Tim hadn’t but he _knew_ his son had asked for one. He knew it, for he knew his son better than anyone did. “Well, he must’ve! We were trying to win one at Pizza Pete’s, weren’t we?”

“Thomas, how the _fuck_ am I supposed to know that?!” She shouted down at him, now getting slightly more frustrated. Time was running out.

“No, no, he said it this morning. He said that’s what we were winning for before I shouted at Pa- Why else would I be…I know that he wants it!”

“Well, let me tell you something _I_ know.” She started, continuing to hold the gun out in front of her. “I’ve been working here, at Toy-Zone, since I was 16 years old. I know what kids are like and what kinds of toys are gonna hit it off. Sure, some toys surprise me, but I get it right most of the time. And you wanna know what? When that Wiggly campaign came out, you know how many kids I got askin’ about it? None! Think back to that line you stood in this morning. Did you see a single kid there? Because I was stood on the balcony, and I all I saw was an endless line of middle aged adults!”

“That’s because it’s a _school day!”_ Tom bit back, but Lex shook her head.

“It’s Thanksgiving break!” She corrected and watched him curse himself. “It’s-it’s the thing about Wiggly that nobody’s talking about! It’s that kids don’t _want_ that piece of shit! They never have! Lately, they’re all into fucking Fortnite, dude! I mean, my sister, Hannah, she couldn’t get further away from that thing! Yeah, me and Ethan wanted a doll to sell and I got it in my bag, but it’s worthless to you! The doll casts a spell on you and makes you see the world how you want to. Mr Houston, this spell won’t work on kids, and I think I know why. I’m sorry your wife died, and I know you’re trying to make up for it, but the doll isn’t the way. I know because I almost lost my entire family today.”

“What?” He asked, looking into her eyes.

“I got visited by a projection of Wiggly, and he appeared to me like Ethan, and he told me Ethan and Hannah were dead. They’re alive, I hope, but he manipulated me into becoming weak. I’ve been through so much shit since today, and it’s only gotten worse so please, _please_ come to terms with the fact that Wiggly won’t fix everything for you. He can’t fix all these holes you have. Your son doesn’t want you to make up for your wife’s death. He wants his dad, yet his dad is so focused on mending everything that his life soon became over. You’re 40, Houston! And Wiggly? It’s a fuckin lie, and I think, deep down, you know it, but you’re scared to admit it, because if the doll’s not the answer, then what the fuck is?!”

Tom listened and leaned against the front of his car to take some weight off of his feet, looking down at the doll in his hand, which seemed surprisingly more transparent than it originally had. What was it? Truly. Was it _just_ a doll from Drowsy Town, or was it a parasite to fester off of everyone’s troubles, off of everyone’s trauma to become stronger? Does it breathe? Is it living? Is it an organism? Does it understand people’s trauma, and therefore did it understand the things he’d been through with Jane, the things he’d _gone_ through for Tim? Did it know?

Tom shook his head and shut his eyes. What the _hell_ had he been thinking? He’d let the emptiness in his heart consume him, maybe that was why he’d succumbed to the doll. He thought back to Toy-Zone, and how he’d had to tread over several dead bodies to get there, many being of people he recognised. _Everyone_ was dying, and if his soul was so empty, then maybe that included him as well. After all, a part of him died in Afghanistan and never came back. He was gone long before Tim came along.

But he knew, if be failed Tim just that one more time, then the punishment that followed wouldn’t match the crime that had been committed to begin with. No pain, absolutely _nothing_ could compare to the emotion he felt when he let his son down. He knew, if anything, Tim wanted Jane back, but for Tom to achieve that, he’d have to climb up the mountain to heaven, and for that, he’d have to die. He’d failed once, and he’d failed again, but he was putting an end to it.

He thought back to Tim. He could have spent the entire day with Tim, and with Emma and Pablo was it? He wasn’t sure if Tim, when he looked at Tom, that he saw a father, or someone who didn’t bother to get to know his son while he got the chance and didn’t know his own role in society. But maybe Tim was happy like that. Tom was clueless concerning the situation. He had to find out how to pull himself back into normality without Jane by his side. He _had_ to, because the route, so far, was looking that he had to dive into the deep end, and to end the drought that swept over him. He had to find out at most.

But, if he failed again, even if that meant failing to recognise what Tim needed or if that consisted of needing his father around more often, even if it meant to sit downstairs while Tim played on the X-Box or something. If he failed to hear Tim’s voice of reason, expressing what he wanted or felt like he wanted, and if Tom dodged that by making the easy choice, then he knew that it would be _his_ actions that tore them asunder, and not the world that claimed to drown them.   
  
He thought back to when he was nine, at the 99-cent store with his dad. How badly he’d wanted to be a soldier and to fight like all the guys on TV, so he’d asked for the fake gun. They were broker than broke back then, and he got a dagger for 20 cents instead to save money, but it didn’t matter because he was with it was his dad, and _dammit,_ he should have stayed at home with his own son. Tim. Where was Tim? Was he safe?

Jane would have made sure Tim was safe. She was a good mother and an even better wife, but she didn’t exactly turn out to be the perfect person her parents had wanted her to be behind closed doors. She liked bars, she liked alcohol, and she got drunk mostly every weekend. She knew _just_ what to do to loosen Tom up, and when he denied her access to him, she’d insult him, in a way, she’d used to say things that hurt to see how he’d react, and now, Lex was doing the same thing, spitting the unavoidable truth at him. And then the crash, and then she was dead.

He looked back down to the doll, which hardly even had a shell anymore, and he heard it’s voice faintly in the back of his head. “No, Tom, listen to me! Tickle my belly-well! Stay asleep, stay in Drowsy Town!”

Tom shook his head. “You're not that cute, are you? In fact, you're real fuckin' ugly.” He blinked, and the silhouette of the doll was gone. He rubbed his eyes before looking at Lex, who had lowered the gun and was watching him closely. “He’s gone, Lex, I think I’m awake. But your sister, and Ethan, and Becky, they took them-”

“To Linda,” Lex finished, not needing Tom to continue before she realised the answer. “If they aren’t dead already, she’s gonna kill them, Mr Houston.”

“No, she won’t. Because we ain’t gonna let her, are we?” He asked, and Lex shook her head. He smiled gently and looked to the gun, his heart pounding. “Here, you were holding that wrong.” He said and took it off her, showing her how to hold it.

“Please keep a hold of it, my US Military Dad person gave it to me, I don’t like guns.”

“Me either kid, I’ll keep hold of it. Now let’s go get your family as well as mine.”

“Fuck yeah!” Lex said and laughed slightly shocked. “They’re at the entrance.”

“Then lead the way.”

With that, they were on their way, with determination being their guide. Nothing would stop them now, and nothing ever would again. They were unstoppable, and they were about to save the fucking world…again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emma perkins and paul matthews rolling up to the lakeside at the end of black friday, watching the mall on fire with tim in the back: GET IN LOSERS, WE'RE GOING SHOPPING


	33. Wiggle/What If Tomorrow Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lex commits arson in a mall full of main characters from this book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWS:  
> vomiting  
> murder  
> arson  
> mentions of assault

At the entrance of the store, Ethan, Becky and Hannah were being dragged down by the supposed cult members, who were all chanting the name of the doll, which, for one, was extremely fucking creepy, especially for Ethan, who was now sustaining a head injury as well as the others that kept him from barely standing. They stopped walking, and Ethan was on the verge of passing out, but he looked up to see Linda Monroe walking down the corridor, speaking clearly on the phone, again, like she always was.

“Yes, Gerald, I’m about to get the doll! Yes, they found the child!” She huffed, folding her arms under her cape. “No, I’m not going to put you on _speaker_ , Gerald. No one wants to talk to you.” Then she noticed that her loyal, amazing cult members had bought the victims to her, or at least one of them. She put the phone on hold and stepped forward. _“_ Yes! Bring the heretics to me!”

With that command, they dropped the three unaffected to the ground, and Ethan looked over at Hannah. If he could run, he would, and he was getting Hannah the _fuck_ out of Hatchetfield as soon as he was freed. Unfortunately for him, Linda seemed to start laughing again as she noticed the red-haired woman, crumpled like a puppet without it’s master.

“Becky Barnes, “ she started, disdainfully. “Why am I not surprised? Of course I’d find you here clinging to your antiquated sense of justice, protecting these children because you can’t have any of your own.” Upon noticing Becky wasn’t awake, or moving, she became frustrated. What good was it to torment a person if they weren’t conscious to hear? “Becky! Wake up! Belittling you isn’t fun if you’re not upset.” She prodded Becky, and coming to the conclusion that she was unconscious and under the influence, she decided to make a very _very_ unneeded remark. Of course, she knew that, but she was Linda Monroe, The Prophet, who was going to stop her? “Huh, she’s drunk, _again_. The only man that’ll have her now is Jack Daniels! Ha, get her out of my sight!”

With that, two of the members picked her up by the arms and dragged her off to the side. Ethan only flinched as he noticed Linda lock her eyes on Hannah, and he felt her eyes burning into the back of his skull. Before he could speak, she’d crouched down to him, her arm around his neck. “And you, you little shit. Your _girlfriend,_ for too long, has kept the shepherd from his flock. Where is she?”

“You’ll never get an answer from me.” Ethan growled, a slight bit of venom remaining deep within him, and he wasn’t going to rat Lex out…but she was dead. How could he rat her out when she wasn’t alive anymore? He and Hannah were in this for the long run together now, and he felt incredibly guilty that he hadn’t been there when she’d passed. She’d been alone when she’d died, the one thing she’d always been afraid of.

“Cute,” Linda said before laughing, quickly reaching into her bag, and Ethan felt a cold blade against his name. “I’ll ask you again. _Where. Is. She?”_

“Magic hat! Nothing can hurt me! Nothing can hurt Ethan!” Hannah said suddenly from nearby, and it caught Linda’s attention. She laughed bitterly, moving away from Ethan, and Ethan let go of the breath he’d been holding.

She approached Hannah, quickly snatching the hat directly off of Hannah’s head, and Hannah immediately folded in on herself. “You little fool! You think this is going to protect you? A ‘magic hat?’” She asked, scoffing. “This is ridiculous! Only _dolls_ are magic. And I know, oh I know your sister has one. So, tell me! Where is she? Where is _he_? Where is my precious son! Answer me! Or I’ll open your mouth with my fucking _knife!”_ Linda was practically screaming at that point, waving the knife in front of Hannah’s face, only for her to be cut off with a sharp shout from someone at the doorway.

Dressed in a black denim jacket, the red of her Toy-Zone sleeveless jacket over her striped shirt in black jeans and black boots, her bag over her shoulders, holding a Wiggly high in the air, was Lex, alive and uninjured from what Ethan could tell. He felt tears gather in his eyes as relief gushed over him. She was okay. _She was okay!_ “Hey!” She shouted, and the cult turned their attention away from Ethan, Becky and Hannah to the newest person to enter the eye of the storm. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

“Prophet, there! He’s radiant!” The security guard shouted.

“The God! He’s so beautiful!” The guy in the baseball cap, having been identified as Papa Ed from the constant radio updated with the squirrel in his pocket only helping to confirm that.

Linda snarled, looking at Lex from the distance, sliding the blade back into her purse. “I haven’t changed my mind, little girl. I still want you dead, and you, Green! And I thought _she_ was stupid! Coming into the lion’s den completely outnumbered, with a _doll?!_ You’re a fucking moron!” She screamed at Lex, who remained unfazed.

“Then you’ve been out-foxed by a fuckin’ moron!” Mr Houston shouted, appearing out of nowhere, grabbing Linda and holding her to his chest, pressing the barrel of the gun against Linda’s temple, before pointing it at the other cult members. “Back off, let the kids go!”

This caused uproar in the cult, with other’s screaming due to Linda’s safety. “You have no idea what you’re doing.” Linda said calmly instead of freaking out, like how everyone expected her to react.

Lex didn’t like that. She didn’t really want to be in that scenario at all. They were supposed to get out of Hatchetfield alive, her and her family. They were supposed to be in California, and yet they weren’t. But she had backup, unlike everyone else. “Everyone listen to me! This doll is _not_ your God! It’s not gonna fix your miserable lives! This cult of comfort is _bullshit!_ If Wiggly is your God, then let him try and stop me from doing this.” She threw the doll up into the air, ducking to the side as a bullet wound went straight through the doll’s stomach. A familiar tall, brunette attorney caught it, clutching the blonde-haired soldier’s hand in his own tightly. 

With the doll partially destroyed, it now had no worth to the cult leaders, but it was actually Gary who carried the final doll on the inside of his blazer. The last physical copy of the doll that wasn’t covered in dirt or damaged in some way, and he was saving the fucking world with Lex’s help. With the cult gasping as Gary threw the doll to the middle of the crowd, them beginning to mourn it, Linda screamed, pushing the gun directly out of Tom’s hand and running towards Gary and Micah.

“I feel sick, Gary.” Michael whispered, and Gary squeezed his hand in return.

“You’ll be okay. We all will.”

“But will you?” Linda asked, tilting her head at Gary, and Gary realised she was under some influence. Her eyes weren’t those that he’d gazed into as they discussed matters in his office. Naked, of course, but still. They were now a vicious green, and he could see the same swirling pattern in her eyes that had been in Micah’s before he broke Micah out of the spell, and Linda laughed again, throwing her head back, almost like a howling wolf. “Gary Goldstein, you hold no power over me.”

“You wish, Ms Monroe.” Gary said, staring her down, not letting her win, and Linda let her lips tug up into a smirk.

“You don’t have the assistance of Will, Gary. Will is 10 times better than you are. A colonel for the army, tall _and_ handsome. He _adores_ me like you never did.” With a swat of her hand, Micah let go of Gary and stumbled back to Lex’s level, as Linda grabbed Gary’s tie. “I hear his voice, Gary. I feel his power. I’ve seen the kingdom and the plans Wilbur laid out for _me,_ for me and only me! And he’s mine to follow his orders, and the portal is my monument to build.” She let go of Gary’s jacket, turning back to her cult. “For when Wiggly wiggles tonight, when darkness comes over Wiggly’s kingdom, we’ll know I’m the one who wronged what’s right!”

There was a cackle and a loud clap of thunder from nearby, and the lights blew in the entrance to the mall, instead, her eyes glowing bright green, with a green mini portal above her head. “My god awaits for his cyclopean gateway to be built, a portal that ushers in all sounds and sights unseen! Oh, he’ll be mine, he’ll be _our_ God to love and to worship, but it’s my job to prepare for his birth! And he’s gonna wiggle his way to our side, and he’ll unleash all the plans he has for you and me, me more favourably, the earth is looking good and ripe! Finally! Wiggly will restore the Earth, and we’ll restore life as we know it!”

“When Wiggly comes!” The cult echoed, beginning to chant the words as Linda moved to the middle of them, starting to float in the middle of the crowd as she almost began to float. Michael, in this time, had managed to get Hannah and Ethan to safety, and he was currently guarding them, his gun aimed directly at the cult members in case they turned, but they seemed more focused on Gary.

“He’ll rise up, Goldstein, with joyful noise! And he’ll turn dust to ash and dust to ash and dust to ash and dust!” She said as she floated in the middle of the crowd, her cape blowing wildly behind her, her eyes now glowing a vivid green.

“When he comes, he’ll come for us!” She and her cult members chanted, and Gary didn’t seem affected, but he was scared. He was an attorney at law, not a superhero! But if it meant to save the world, then he would.

“When he comes, he’ll ‘come immortal, through the portal!” The cult members chorused with each other, continuing to sing, but what they hadn’t noticed was the pair of PEIP agents slipping up on to the next floor above them.

Xander was standing with a gun held directly in front of him, John standing to Xander’s left, eye focused on the target, being Lex Foster. Xander. However, was more focused, on the glowing woman. If he had a choice, he wouldn’t be doing this, but he knew _why_ he had to do it. Whoever speaks first is usually the victim to that reality. Unfortunately for Xander Lee, he spoke at the wrong time. Now he has to face the consequences of committing the action, even if that meant killing Wiggly’s only connection to the human world. He already knew that killing someone would add to the trauma and mental scars of Wilbur pressing him up against the wall without anything to defend him, but if it were to save the world, then he’d do it.

“Hey!” He shouted, and Linda collapsed to the ground, the lights turning back on, but there seemed to be a spotlight focusing on Xander. She, and her cult members turned around to look at the agent. While they were distracted, it gave Tom Houston to run down to Becky, and Lex finally noticed them. Xander could feel John’s radiating smile from beside him without having to look, and Xander gave him a nod. “Go to her. I’m okay,” he whispered, and he felt John’s eyes on him. No words were spoken between the two as John turned, footsteps running down the escalator that had stopped working to get to Lex.

“And who in Wiggly’s name do you think _you_ are?!” She spat, looking at Xander as he finally lined up his shot, his heart pounding hard in his chest. He had to swallow the bile that crept up the back of his throat.

“I’m going to be the guy that put’s a stop to this madness,” he said, and with a single shot, the life drained from her eyes as she fell backwards, a permanent shocked expression on her face. He’d gotten her in the brain, and blood began to drip down her forehead. Xander felt tears prick at his eyes, swallowing, but he realised he wouldn’t be able to keep anything down for too long. With the image burned into his brain, of Linda’s face in that permanent position, he heaved and ran away from the balcony, finding the closest trash can to him, emptying his guts, unable to hear what was going on on the floor beneath him.

Gary rushed forward, grabbing Linda’s phone, taking Gerald off hold and explaining the situation to him, as Lex rushed to Hannah and Ethan’s side, taking in the fact that they were okay. John took his gun back off Tom, assisting Tom to help Becky up. Micah saluted to John, and John nodded, as Xander came down the stairs, tears openly flowing down his face. John threw his arms around him, letting Xander cry into the crook of his neck. “I’m proud of you, Firefly.” With the louder sobs that followed, John vowed he was staying by Xander’s side forevermore. After all, Xander was free, _they_ were free of Wiggly’s powers. “Let’s go.”

However, Gary, who had moved Linda away from the entrance for the members of the cult to mourn openly, had placed his hand on Lex’s shoulder, holding out the Wiggly to her. She nodded, and looked at the cult, grabbing Ethan’s lighter, lighting it at once. “You have two choices. Abandon your God, or burn with him!” She called, pressing the flame to the synthetic fur of the monster, dropping it, and letting it burn.

“Go, Lex, run.” John said, and Lex nodded, as she swung Ethan’s arm over her shoulders, helping him out of the Lakeside, with Hannah trailing after them, the adults following shortly after, leaving the members of the cult to burn.

John turned, watching the Lakeside begin to light up in flames. He rubbed Xander’s back but couldn’t deny the sense of accomplishment they’d achieved that day. He spat on the floor as the fire lit up in his eyes. “To hell with you, Linda Monroe. To hell with you,” he said, before he turned and continued to guide Xander back and away from the burning mall.

They’d fucking made it.

* * *

They stood outside and admired the mess they’d made. What else could they do as they watched one of Hatchetfield’s finest attractions burn to the ground? Friends, families and neighbours would go down with the building they died in. They couldn’t take their eyes away as the orange flames licked at the sides of the building, drawing in more of the building into it’s mouth. Tom shook his head, holding Becky close. “The fire, it spread so fast.”

“The whole mall’s comin down. For good.” She said, and Lex nodded, Ethan forcing a grin on his face.

“ _Good.”_ Ethan said, and looked to his girlfriend, kissing her head. He took a breath and looked into her eyes. It was now or never. “Lex, I got stabbed today, and a cop kicked my head to mock me. I almost died, and I went hours thinking you were gone. I regret never saying a certain word to you, but Lexi? I love you. More than anything.”

Lex’s heart began to pound as she heard him speak, but mainly because of the first bit. She wrapped her arms around him tighter, burrowing into his chest. “I love you too, Ethan. And- oh fuck I gotta tell you _everything.”_

“Maybe when we get home.” He said before he blinked. “Where is home?”

“California.” Hannah said quietly, and Lex grinned, wrapping her arm around Hannah, pulling her into a hug.

However, at that minute, there was a car that pulled up outside the mall, and Tom turned to see Emma, with Parker, Tim, and two other kids and- Tim!

“Dad!” Tim shouted, and his eyes were red and puffy even from the distance he was at. He ran straight forward toward Tom, and Tom couldn’t help but beam as he lifted his son up, beaming.

“Hi, buddy. Did you have a good day with Emma and Pat?” He asked, running his hand through his son’s hair.

“It’s Paul…” Paul said quietly, the tension between him and Tom still there, it becoming more apparent as time went on, but Emma didn’t seem to notice, and if she did, she shrugged it off.

“Tom! Tom, oh my God! You’re alive!” She called out of shock, and he nodded. “The whole world’s gone fuckin’ crazy, Tom! Because of the doll! The lines went down, we couldn’t access you. Fuck, we picked up two kids, Ollie and Lucas on the wa-“

“Ollie?” Ethan piped up and looked at his cousin. The two looked at each other, and out of shock, Ethan let go of Lex, staggering towards his younger cousin, hugging him tightly. “You’re okay.”

“You’re not…”

“It’s okay, we will be.”

Emma watched, shaking her head, a wish on the end of her tongue, but she couldn’t say it. “We were sure you were gone. We were gonna take Tim, get out of town. But he wouldn’t let us, all he wanted was you.”

“Well, I’m here, bud. But we need a place to go. Is anywhere safe?” Tom asked, setting Tim on his hip, and John spoke up.

“We have HQ, but we’re on the wrong side of the island for it, and I need to get Xander somewhere safe to calm him down. He’s…Is there a place closer?”

“My uncles.” Ethan said, looking at John. “He’s-“

“A kooky reclusive Biology professor,” him and Emma said in sync, and they blinked out of shock.

“He lives at the edge of town,” Ethan confirmed, and Emma nodded.

“His whole house is like a panic room.”

“Well, I hope he doesn’t mind us showing up unannounced,” Paul said, and Tom nodded to him. He did have a point. “We can’t call him, the phones stopped working. I don’t even know what time it is! What am I supposed to do without my iPhone?”

“Wear a watch?” John and Hannah said together, and John smiled towards the younger girl, who blushed.

“It’s 11:57 now. If we start driving now, we’ll be okay-“

“Do you see what I see?” Hannah asked suddenly, looking up to Lex, and Lex hummed, confused. “What I know? What I see? The memories? Tomorrow. Reminds me. Tomorrow will come, tomorrow won’t come! Tomorrow come today!” She said, becoming slightly frustrated nobody could understand her. “Turn the light off…”

“Guys!” Lucas shouted from the car. “You’re forgetting, Hidgens has a group of people there already! I know because Ollie made a pitstop just- we gotta go.” He climbed back into the backseat of Tom’s car, and John looked at Lex.

“Be safe, Lex. We’ll meet at Hidgens’. Godspeed.”

“Godspeed to you, Dadnamara.” She said and smiled wide as she was guided, by Ethan, to his car.

For now, they had to ignore Hannah’s strange words that she’d began to say. They’d investigate when they were safe. For now, everyone was alive who needed to be alive, and everything was gonna work out just fine.

Just fine indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the words of satan himself from the apocalyptour album, don't you fret, it's not over yet.
> 
> The Loudest Becomes The Strong isn't done yet ladies and gents and geese. there are more chapters to come, but because i'm fuckin dumb i thought it was ending here. nope. it's ending point is gonna be when j-
> 
> joking i'm not spilling the ending yet jfc i'm not tom holland


	34. Sun Shines Down Upon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they all giddy up to Hidgens' house lowkey and everyone is brutally honest with one another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *bonk* tws of murder, and also goes into slight depth about xander's ptsd
> 
> also there's a character in this chapter who is like backgroundish but yea <3 also enjoy my shitty depiction of henry hidgens

When a band of seven turned up on his doorstep, Henry Hidgens had _not_ been expecting to be reunited with Emma’s friends from The Apotheosis. He’d been following the news extremely closely ever since Black Friday started, and that there was talk of a possible world war that could come out of this. His bunker was prepared for any catastrophe that was thrown its way, but he was more worried for Emma’s sake.

He let the group inside, pointing them in the right direction before realising that neither Ollie nor Ethan were with them. Though his heart began to race, he asked around the group and everyone shook their heads. He began to lose hope, he really did, so he took himself off to his room and sat on the windowsill, cigarette alight in hand, his eyes fixed firmly on the entrance of the house, when he heard another set of footsteps join him.

“You’re worrying about the kids, aren’t you?” The voice asked, but Hidgens hardly moved. A sigh came and the footsteps moved closer, standing behind Henry slightly, the figure’s hands placed on the other man’s shoulders, massaging them gently.

“They could be dead,” Henry stated after a while, opening the window a little bit more to extend his neck to look down the road, desperate to see a glimpse of his nephew or son. “How am I supposed to find out whether they died or not? It’s not as if the group they went out with are going to show up here like Ted, Charlotte and Bill did.”

“Ted, Charlotte and Bill knew to come to you with the full knowledge that you were able to protect them from a scenario such as this one.” The figure removed his hands from Henry’s shoulders, only to walk away and grab an old chair that sat in the corner of the bedroom. He dragged it over to the window and took his seat.

“Ollie is my son. I adopted him out of a neglectful situation when he was four years old after Emma bought up the concern in my class one time. Ethan is my nephew who I love dearly, and he is also in my care due to his parents…” he exhaled the smoke that had gathered in his lungs, fiddling with the collar of his turtleneck. “If they got hurt…”

“You’re bound to feel guilty, Hen, but it isn’t entirely your fault. You stayed here, you’re immune to the Wiggly.” He grabbed Henry’s hand, earning a quick glance from the biology professor. He smiled gently, running his other free hand through his fading red hair. “They’re smart kids, they’ve got hearts of gold. They know when they’re in danger. It isn’t like they’re gonna run face first into fire, is it?”

Henry went to speak until there was a familiar chime that came from the Alexa, and Emma’s voice rang out from it. Henry’s eyes widened as he looked back out the window to see a set of three cars, one of them being Ethan’s. His heart pounded and, relieved, crushed the cigarette in the ash tray, bolting up and walking over to the Alexa. “We’re letting you in. Alexa, open the gates!” He turned to leave to go downstairs, but was met by the soft grasp of the other man, who smiled delicately, looking into Henry’s stormy grey eyes.

“What did I tell you?”

“Yes, yes, you were always right, _Chad.”_ Henry said, and the other man, Chad, tipped his head back and laughed, standing and placing a kiss on Henry’s cheek.

“You need to tell your kids I’m back at some point. You need to tell them that we’re _all_ back at some point.”

“But that point in time is not _this_ point in time!” He said before he slipped his blazer back on, not bothering to button it up the front, where he rushed down the stairs and into the living room just as the others piled into the room. He immediately met his son’s eyes, and noticed that they were watery and scared. Though he appeared to be a stereotypical stressed, elderly man that became irked easily by the littlest things, when it came to his family, he was the opposite. He opened his arms to his son, and he watched as Ollie’s hand slipped out of Lucas’, and he rushed into his dad’s arms, immediately burying into the turtleneck. He hushed him gently as he cried, rubbing his back, running his hand through Ollie’s hair as he looked to the others, and then specifically at Emma, who nodded.

“Professor Hidgens, you’ve already met most of the people here, but these are the survivors from the mall that we were able to find. You already know half of these people-“

“Ethan?” He asked, and Emma shot him a glance of confusion. He cleared his throat and continued. “What about Ethan?”

“Oh yeah, man. Ethan got hurt like fuck.” She said, and Hidgens’ eyes shot open as Tom walked into the house with Ethan’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, his other arm supported by Lex. He could have sworn his heart stopped as he saw the dried blood on his nephew’s head.

“For goodness sakes! He is in _no_ condition to be walking!” Hidgens said, letting go of Ollie, who wiped his eyes and looked to Lucas for support. This gave Hidgens the opportunity to take Ethan off of the other two, and he collapsed on to his uncle.

Though conscious, Ethan remained delirious and smiled almost drunkenly. “Hidgy!” He grinned, and Hidgens exhaled a breath, hugging him gently. “I got stabbed!” Ethan beamed and Hidgens pulled away and looked at his nephew.

“Tell me you’re joking.” He said, but Ethan shook his head, donning a smile that radiated pride. Hidgens shook his head again, looking to the others in the room. “I will be taking Ethan down to my laboratory. You may already be aware that there is a band of people already here, consisting of Ted, Charlotte, Bill, Alice, Alice’s girlfriend, someone called Ken and Carol Davidson? They’re all in the other room. You know where the bar is, if you have any questions, ask Emma. Ollie, help me with your cousin,” Hidgens ordered, and Ollie nodded, helping Ethan to walk downstairs to the lab, leaving the others standing there cluelessly.

Emma shook her head, taking off her beanie and placing it in her bag, standing in front of the group. “Right! Okay! So, here’s what’s gonna happen. Lucas, you can go and hang out with Alice and Deb, I’m sure they’d appreciate seeing you. Paul, you and I are gonna go meet back up with your friends and bring Tim with us so Becky and Tom can “catch up.” John, if you need, I’ll take you one of the many spare bedrooms so Xander can just-“

“That’d be great, Emma.” John said calmly as he listened to instructions, holding Xander closer to him by the second, not letting him go. “Do we have any idea on the whereabouts of Icacks and Goldstein?”

“What? You mean a guy in a suit that looks far too much like Paul for his own good and a guy with like really fuckin fair hair?” Another voice spoke from the main door, and when John turned, he saw Ted, who smirked. “They’re fucking.”

John sighed and nodded. “That sounds like them.” He shook his head and looked to Emma, having felt Xander’s shaking worsen. “You wouldn’t mind showing us to the room now, would you?”

“Right this way,” Emma said, and motioned for John to follow her, as she escorted the two men to the spare room.

* * *

Once Emma had left and the door was closed, Xander couldn’t hold back anymore, sitting on the bed, his exterior dissolving into harsh sobs that racked his entire body with even harsher shaking bursts. John was by his side in seconds, holding his husband close to his chest, rubbing his back, letting him cry. They didn’t talk for a while as Xander cried, as it was wrong to disrupt the silence. John remained close, letting Xander know that he wasn’t alone, that he was safe, and that he’d be safe until the end. Xander gasped for breath as he spoke.

“I killed her-“ He choked out, his hands over his face, making his voice slightly slurred. “She’s dead because of me, she had a husband and kids, she had kids! Kids who don’t have a mother!” He said and John’s bit the inside of his cheek, continuing to rub Xander’s back.

“The Monroe family have _never_ been the nicest. I had the unfortunate encounter with Gerald and River, her eldest son and husband, and they were _the_ most stuck up people I have ever met. All of their clothes were branded, and they didn’t attempt to hide it. They want to be snobbish; they want to be filthy rich, they let it get to their heads, and yet they were never in love.” John began to explain, keeping his voice quiet and soft as to not scare Xander. “She stayed for his money. She didn’t stay for any other reason. She was a despicable woman who cared about nobody but herself. She didn’t crave love, she craved adoration, and do you know who gave it to her?”

Xander wiped his eyes, hesitantly looking at John. “Who?” He asked and sniffled.

John took Xander’s hand, holding it tighter than he usually would as he kept his eyes focused on him. “Wilbur Cross.” He said softly. “There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation between the two. She was offered everything she’d ever desired and more. He gave her a cult; he gave her the world all with a blood pact.” He turned to face Xander more. “I’m not saying that she deserved to die, but she wasn’t a good person. If you hadn’t have killed her, the entire world would have crumbled under want like it almost did in July. Xander Lee, you’re a hero.”

At the words, Xander took another breath that seemed to fuel more tears to spill from his eyes. At even the thought of being known as a hero, it sent a shockwave of emotions through his veins. He’d joined PEIP to help people, to find cures, to use his powers for the best, and now his general, his own husband, was calling him a hero. He’d never been able to see himself as a hero. He wasn’t some comic book superhero that younger kids looked up to. He killed a woman, a woman slightly older than himself, for the cost of the world.

“My dad-“ he choked out again, and John hummed as he looked at him. “I need- need to ring my dad-“

“I assume that the phone lines are still down, my love. You know you can’t, but I’ll tell you as soon as they come back on. He’s safe in Britain though, right?” When Xander nodded, John continued. “It’s late, and I’m aware you’re probably going to be drained tomorrow, so I’m going to grab a spare change of clothes for us both from the car for us to sleep in, that is _if_ we sleep tonight. It doesn’t matter if we don’t. Are you going to be alright?” Xander offered silence, that John was forced to take, and he left the room, venturing back through the maze of the house to get to the entrance.

It didn’t take too long, and when John found Xander again, he was lying on his side on the bed, facing the wall, his gun and jacket thrown to the other side of the room. He frowned and set the bag down as he removed his own vest and shirt, shutting the door, climbing on top of the bed with only his bottom half dressed. “Come here, angel,” he whispered, and Xander didn’t need to be asked as he shuffled forwards into his husband’s arms. John placed a light kiss on Xander’s short hair and continued to talk.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to see whether it is safe to go home, and therefore return to HQ. From there, I will pick up some meds for you to hopefully calm your flashbacks. We’ll be home before we know it. What’s needed of us now is the clean up job, but in this moment? We need sleep.”

“You’re not going anywhere?” Xander asked nervously, looking at John, and John nodded.

“I couldn’t leave your side after today. I’ll be here all night,” he reassured, and watched Xander’s eyes flutter shut.

When the sun rose on the 24th November 2018, John hadn’t gotten any sleep, too concerned for Xander in case he had a nightmare and needed someone there for him. It wasn’t the first time he’d pulled a stunt like this, and it wouldn’t be the last, yet when he saw the golds and pinks form in the sky in some sort of picturesque watercolour painting, he shut his eyes momentarily and exhaled a breath he’d been holding for too long with the knowledge that they survived, and they made it.

_They made it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i say i like men in uniform i mean 1: john mcnamara and 2: five from tua, not to be confused with lauv by lauv boy. separate the art from the artist and yea <3
> 
> jeff blim be like *cryptid noises* wiggly is a man but he is also a girl, he's everything you wanted !! *cryptid noises*


	35. 25th December, 8 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bop bop, it's TAHS time babey!!! okay so,,,, for those who have forgotten all about TAHS, this is chapter 17 rewritten to fit the au, so rewritten, parts added, parts taken out, and it expands over two chapters now!! anyways, for the actual summary:
> 
> xander cries a shit ton, a brief insight to xander's ptsd after black friday, john being a fucking siMp, john trying his hardest, partee time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of suicide attempt, i'm not too sure if there are any other tws, and if there are, i'll add tomorrow

When Xander woke in the morning, the first thing he did was sit bolt upright, sweat falling off of his forehead as he reached beside him, gripping the sheets in one hand, his other hand grabbing John’s wrist. He looked straight ahead of him, at the mirror in front of the bed, as John moved to sit up as well. He draped his arms over Xander’s shoulders and nestled into the crook of his neck. “Happy November 24th, Zee,” John said and kissed the soft skin of his boyfriend’s neck before looking up to him. “We’ve got a month and a day until Christmas. We defeated The Black and White, and me and you? We’re going home.”  
  
He was panting slightly as he looked at John, who donned a polite smile on his face. The scar that had been gifted to him as a medal from the apotheosis had faded, but still remained a soft pink, a darker brown in the centre of his face, but it didn’t scare John anymore. If anything, he’d learnt to embrace it, and it made him stronger. “Today?” He asked, and relief gushed over him when John nodded, sitting up more, wrapping his arms around the physicist properly.

“Today,” John confirmed before Xander threw his arms around John in a crushing hug, that with such force, knocked him back on to the bed. He didn’t complain, for he knew this was what Xander needed. He smiled and let Xander find his comfort as he buried into the depths of his boyfriend’s hair to hide. From what? His insecurities, the fear his flashbacks would turn real, that he was stuck without John and that he was still dreaming? All of those were possible options, but truth be told, John couldn’t tell himself, and he thought it best not to ask him while he was still so vulnerable, still so afraid. So, he let Xander cling to him, he let Xander hide, for he knew it was what he needed.

Later that day, they went back to PEIP, which meant back home. They entered the code into the building, and Xander ran into their space. Everything was the same, nothing was damaged aside from the people inside. John watched as he ran around the rooms, touching everything, looking through every drawer to make sure everything had been left the same as when they left, and it was. He cried then, and tackled John into another hug on the couch, except this time, it was gleeful, and the tears that came with it where sparks of joy from the pulses of electric hope that had ran through him. That was the final notice for him, for _them,_ that they’d fixed the universe, they’d fixed the timeline, and that nothing was in their way.

* * *

As the agency decided on clearing up the island, discarding of the dead from Black Friday, and upping the doses of cures for those who’d been affected worse by the apotheosis and had yet to recover. John ensured that his husband started on meds as soon as he could to at least reduce the intensity of the flashbacks that may occur, and he also ensured that he could get the meds needed for himself as well. They hadn’t been in contact with many of the others, aside from Lex, who kept them updated regularly, but decided on staying with Ethan, which was reasonable.

But almost in a blink of an eye, came Christmas Eve, which was an anxiety inducing day for the lieutenant, who’d woken up silent. John hadn’t been beside him when he’d woken, which had sent him spiralling to begin with. His chest had tightened, and he’d noticed his eyes blur, as the familiar feeling of panic settled deep into his lungs. He hadn’t seen John rush in with his hair wet, half dressed, water droplets still dripping down his bare chest, and he hadn’t felt John’s arms around him until it was too late.

When he did notice, he tried to fight, and the arms that restrained him got tighter, and whoever was holding him moved behind him. There were calm whispers that combatted his frustrated throws as tears fell down Xander’s cheeks. He eventually gave up fighting, and managed to wipe his eyes, only to see John sitting behind him. He’d sobbed then and collapsed into his chest as John held him closely.

Recovery wasn’t going to be easy, and they’d known that from the start, but to see someone so loveable, so sophisticated about his job, to be so broken, to be so hopeless, to have to challenge the unknown with no instructions. Xander had always been up for a challenge, always been up for something that would create an ending, a result, a compromise at worst, but he was always such a people pleaser, and he would always want to assist others. What he’d found was that it hadn’t been easy when he’d tried to see the outcome for himself, something so ethereal, so bright that would pull him from his misery had been the only option he’d found, but the last time he’d tried had been the morning of their wedding, the 27th September 2020, and John had _saved his life,_ and that memory had been stuck with him forever.

In less than a year, he’d wake up beside his fiancé. In less than a year, John would leave him three hours before their wedding began to get ready at Colonel Schaffer’s, leaving Xander to get ready alone. In less than a year, they’d share their first dance, and they’d drink at the reception, and they _wouldn’t_ have their day interrupted by three, crazed assholes under the influence of some fucking doll, who’d ruined everything, who’d destroyed everything, who’d sent them back in time, who’d taken over the mind and body of his husband making Xander think John hated him, and it had only gone downhill from there.

This was their chance to change it now. They didn’t have a choice _but_ to. They had to make things right while they got the chance, because otherwise they may not get that chance again, and it started with today, the 25th December 2018, and a year later, they remained anything but normal. No Elle, no Jack, just John, Xander and the silence that glued them together. There was always some new problem to counter their resources, which always kept them on their toes. For them to have a day to themselves, a _true_ day to themselves, was a rarity that wouldn’t go uncherished.

So, 8 AM rolled around, with no alarms buzzing in sight, which gave Xander the peace to walk downstairs, where he heard the coffee machine buzzing in the kitchen. He wrapped his dressing gown tighter around him, as he sat down on the couch, to see his boyfriend-husband, carrying two mugs of coffee, in his very festive coloured pyjamas (they were black.) He passed one to Xander as he sat down beside him, immediately wrapping his free arm around him. “Merry Christmas, Zee.”

“Thank you, John. Merry Christmas to you.” He took a sip of his coffee as John placed a kiss on Xander’s forehead before taking a sip of his own. Almost simultaneously, they placed the mugs down on the coffee table as Xander snuggled into John’s touch, unaware that John had reached beside him for a bag that he placed into Xander’s lap. “What’s this?”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to ask me that, love. I think the point of gifts is for you to, you know, _open_ them?” He pointed out, a light cheeriness to his voice, but was met with a heavy sigh from Xander, who put it back down on the floor, and John felt him tense. “Xander?” John asked softly, but Xander only stood.

“I need my meds.”

John watched as he walked away and bit his lip, sighing himself. It was going to be one of those days, wasn’t it? One of those days where he’d be treading on ice around him. He knew that he’d try to make it a good day, for John’s sake, but it wasn’t going to be any good if Xander wasn’t feeling the spirit either. It wasn’t about the gifts, and it wasn’t about the dinner, it wasn’t about any of that. It was about Xander, and his health being his priority, but Xander was tense, and he’d used his medication as an excuse and- oh shit!

John was up in seconds and bolted to the kitchen, skidding to a holt to find Xander hunched over the sink, but there wasn’t a pill bottle in sight. It was just Xander, with a pained look on his face, and John’s heart ache as he heard Xander’s shaky breathing from where he was standing. His heart snapped in two when he saw Xander turn his head to face him, with a ghostly whisper of “help me” on his lips. John, not too sure how to approach the situation, held his arms out to him, and was met with Xander sprinting into them. He didn’t speak, but held Xander tightly in his arms. Somehow, he managed to move them from the kitchen back to the living room, where he let Xander kick his feet up on the couch, which gave him the freedom to curl into John’s side. John cuddled him, and kept his grip tight on him to give him that something to ground him. Then, Xander began to speak unprompted.

“A year ago, if you’d have asked me, Xander Lee, if I’d be living with my General, I’d say you were insane. Now, I-I’m the luckiest guy on Earth. Though we can’t consider ourselves as married, we did have a wedding, and it did make me feel so happy and content and it all just feels _wrong._ You could have chosen anyone throughout all of this, you could have saved Nick, you could have gone to live the life you wanted with him and-“

“And Nick was an abusive, sadistic asshole who cheated on me at a midpoint in our relationship who is now _dead,_ as is my daughter. We changed the timeline, if they’d continued to live, there would have been some major consequences which would have called for an even larger clean up mission.” He cupped Xander’s cheek and looked down at him. “I know you don’t see yourself as worthy. I know you feel you should leave me, and let someone my own race, who ‘understands me’ better to become my partner, but you are the only person I have ever bonded with so strongly. Race doesn’t matter. You are _the_ most elegant man I ever met, and it wouldn’t matter if you were the same race you are now, or if you were any other, because it’s your heart that matters to me. Your heart, your soul and your emotions.”

“And I care about you! But-“

“Look at me,” he said softly and tilted Xander’s chin up so he could look at him. “I don’t care what just went through your head. You are _the_ most important person to me, and that still stands. You’re my husband, well, sorta, kinda.” He shifted and rubbed the back of his neck. “I did get you a ring for today, to propose with? But plans didn’t go ahead as I’d been planning because you’re having a shitty day and that’s okay. But-“

“I’ll marry you ten times over, John McNamara. And this time?”

“This time it’s gonna be legal, it’s gonna be documented and it’s gonna be the best damn thing to happen to us,” John confirmed, and Xander nodded.

“Can I see the ring?”

* * *

Clearly, it hadn’t been anything much, for Xander wasn’t an extravagant nor flamboyant person, until it came to pride in June, but aside from that, he was reserved, and he liked to work. With Private Slate, one of the agents who looked up to Xander, they created a ring that still had the technical aspect to it. It was textured on the outside, though it wasn’t noticeable, and there was a small, hidden tag that he could pull that would pull up a hologram like phone call in case of emergency. Xander had cried again once it had been placed on his hand, and John had brushed those tears away, telling them how it would be okay, and that they’d make the rest of the day great.

Though his anxiety was on a high, and he was dreading the dinner at PEIP, he knew if he needed an escape, he’d be able to get out of there with John’s assistance. He’d already warned John he may choose to head straight to his lab anyway, only saying hello to some of the people he’d become fond of, like Lex and Hannah, and…that was it.

It wasn’t like either of them _didn’t_ put in the effort, but Xander was not in the mood to feel like his throat was being choked by a tie in the event of a panic attack, so he went with a more laid back feel of a hoodie John had gotten him and slacks, still wearing his sneakers for added comfort. John had upped his professionality a little bit, heading for a black turtleneck that tucked into whatever kind of trousers he was wearing. He wore his military boots, because he was obsessed with the things, and let his hair loose. He grabbed his coat and put it on as they walked out to the car, having a content, yet silent, drive over to the precinct.

Once they walked through the doors, John was shocked to find they were the earliest there. There were going to be so many people in this one area that it did surprise him how, aside from Colonel Schaffer, they were the only ones currently in the building, aside from some agents who chose to work on that particular day. He watched the colonel busy herself with work until the two walked in. She smiled gently at John, but there was a spark of excitement in her eyes when she noticed Xander that unsettled him, though it shouldn’t. She walked over to him, still keeping her distance, and saluted to him. “Lieutenant, I was told you may not be arriving. It’s good to see you again, sir.”

“It’s good to see you too, Schaf,” he said quietly as he saluted back. He looked down to John, who placed a hand on his forearm, and smiled softly.

“We’re gonna eat dinner in Xander’s lab. Excluding that, I’ll be here, with the majority of the peeps and friends of the company celebrating. Zee’s had a little bit of a rough morning, and I don’t want to add any further pressure to him.”

“Understood, sir.” Schaffer said and noticed the band on Xander’s hand. Her eyes softened as she grabbed John’s wrist, yanking him forward, smirking. “Apologies, Lieut, but I need to steal your fiancé. I suggest you escape now before the rest of the others join us. I’m tempted to announce my social battery drained in the middle of the gathering, get up, and leave.” She sighed and shook her head. “Melissa _will_ want to join me, although.”

“Melissa?” John asked as he looked up to her and she rolled her eyes.

“She’s Paul’s co-worker and a very good friend of mine. And before you ask, just because we are both lesbians, we are _not_ attracted to each other in any shape of form.”

“To be honest, that’s a good call from you Schaf, because I see a guy, plan our future together, and imagine what he’s like in bed.” John admitted, taking cutlery from the boxes, beginning to lay it out. “But that was before Xander. Now I’ve got him, and I wouldn’t want anyone else.” He turned and winked at Xander, which was him excusing him from the room. With a small smile on his face, Xander walked out of the dining hall and to his lab. He turned back to Schaffer, continuing to set up. “I do love him.”

“I couldn’t tell,” she said, her voice bored, and John laughed.

“I won’t stop talking about him until the world knows how amazing he is.”

“I’m sure they already do, John.”

“At most? The entirety of Michigan does, but _not_ the entirety of the world.”

“I never took you as a simp like man?” Schaffer asked and turned to look at John who shrugged.

“Well, I’m a changed man now.” He glanced back to the doorway, expecting to see Xander still there. “He’s amazing. He’s gentle, and he understands. Sure, Black Friday traumatised him on top of his pre-existing trauma, and we don’t try to dodge it. We acknowledge it’s there and we adapt, we move on. And I love him for being so strong. He’s courageous, he’s got a heart of gold and he’s just…he’s beautiful.”

“And you’ve told him all of this?”

John looked back to the cutlery he was laying out and shook his head. “Unfortunately, I haven’t. When I go to tell him, the words get tangled in my mouth, but If I could tell it to his face, I’d have done it by now. He deserves to know how much he is loved, how appreciated he is. Because it’s not just me who loves him. It’s this damned precinct as well.”

“And everyone loves Lieutenant Xander Lee.”

“They sure do, especially the younger recruits.” John chuckled to himself as he moved to the other side of the table. He glanced back to Schaffer and smiled gently. “He’ll be back at PEIP in no time. He needs this time to recover, to process. The worst thing that can happen is for him to spiral while in his lab and for him to receive a threatening injury to not only himself but possibly to the agents around him.”

“And we understand. But it’ll never be PEIP without General John McNamara and his co-general.”

John smiled and looked at her, seeing a rare kindness in her eyes, before there was a knock at the door. He turned and saw Michael and Gary, grinning wide, in each other’s arms. “This is the place for the party, right?” Michael asked, and John nodded, allowing them in.

He sighed and turned back to Schaffer, taking a seat at the head of the table, smiling. “So much for the lovesick John hours.”

“So much for lovesick John.”

“Tell a soul, Colonel, and I will _end. You.”_

“You wouldn’t even try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people who read my books: when r u going to update-  
> me: lmao september chapter of TLBTS go BRRR


	36. A Merry Fucking Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander reveals the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEEP BEEP this chapter only has 2 lines of dialogue throughout the entire thing. things to be aware of that are possible triggers:
> 
> TW:  
> This is chapters 18 and 19 from TAHS rewritten from Zee's perspective, which includes the mentions of assault, alcoholism, overdose and alcohol poisoning. There is also mentions of domestic abuse and s****de, and also a mention of sam but fuck sam

Xander went back to his lab. It was the first proper time he’d seen the room since Black Friday, and he instantly cringed in disgust at the state of it. To any regular person, they would see the dark tiles of the lab with blue light bouncing around the room, the LED lights under the counters creating a very familiar glow, one recognisable to all. They’d see a neat set of papers stacked up on the right side of the desk and the computer turned off, but to Xander, it was a mess.

He got to work, running his hand over the dust that had settled on the desk with his hoodie sleeve, having to wipe it all away. He sat into the chair and felt the whir of the computer’s monitor as it sprung back to life. He watched as the wallpaper loaded up, a simple black and white photo of John that he didn’t know existed, so he punched in the password, which wasn’t only ridiculously long, but if you knew _what_ it meant, then it would be far too easy. He watched as the familiar files loaded and he felt a smile form on his face as he sighed a sigh of relief. Miraculously, John _had_ proven himself capable of taking care of his fish, as they swam in the tank that rested in the corner of his eye.

And everything was okay. It had to be. Yet, there was that undeniable fear that the portal would once again spring to life, and the murders of Linda, Nick and Wilbur would have been proven false, and they’d burst out of the gleaming, spitting greens, purples and blues that created a sickening entrance to a dead battle zone. Dead? More like dormant. One day, it wouldn’t hold back, and the war would strike back up, and the main victim would be targeted, and the war wouldn’t stop until it was dead.

The war wouldn’t stop unless _Xander died._

He clenched his teeth together, gritting them harshly, as he tried to suppress that thought. At this point, unless proven otherwise, it was inevitable that he’d die. That thought scared him, it scared him more than anything, because what was going to happen without him? Who’d take his place in his lab? Who’d care for the residents of PEIP? Who’d care for _John?_

It wasn’t intentional, yet he felt a familiar warmth fill his eyes, that he brushed away. He gripped the mouse in his hand tighter as he tried to forget. He tried to forget what he’d become if he didn’t get his act together. He’d be a dead man with nothing to his name. Sure, he was a theoretical physicist for one of the best military bases in the country, even _if_ it was slightly illegal. Okay, it wasn’t actually documented, and was more based on people wanting to rebel against society that worked in PEIP’s favour. They remained unnoticed. They’d always remain unnoticed.

It never meant the agents didn’t though, and it was proven exactly a year ago. Even if it was still a slice of an alternate dimension, it didn’t mean Xander hadn’t felt it.

He forced the tears back as he looked to the corner of the room where he saw a faded silhouette of both Wilbur and Nick, and he heard the door clash open, with John running in in that damned red suit, but the door didn’t move and neither did Xander. He watched as they toyed around with his John, pinning him to the wall, and yet he didn’t react, _John didn’t react._ God, John was so strong, and Xander couldn’t be the same. There he was, John, defending Xander under his ex’s will, and also his ex-mentor. Maybe there’d been something more behind the title of mentee and mentor, maybe more disgusting things happened behind closed doors, and maybe it was the reason John was so reluctant to open up about his past with him. He could tell Wilbur had meant a lot to him, father figure and all, so where had it gone wrong?

Xander had a feeling it was the possession of the doll that had forced Wilbur to create these twisted acts upon John. From the little information Xander had retrieved about the colonel, he understood he was a compassionate man and cared for those who he was close with, one being someone he’d gained a crush on in high school, the other being John. To see Wilbur making John look small, feel small while he was vulnerable and pinned against that wall…it had to have happened. It was all so…so real.

What he couldn’t believe was, when Nick started to unbutton John’s shirt, he saw that switch flip in John’s eyes and Xander’s chest tightened. If Xander hadn’t shot down the door then, he’d have given in. It was a matter of fact. John McNamara would have run back to his exs. Xander hadn’t seen the fear that had been mixed in with them. He’d just seen the lust that had been there, the relief.

He looked as his old self ran in the room. No PTSD, no nothing of any sorts. He was a healthy man, with a healthy heart and a good look on life. He’d remained calm, and he’d flung an arm around John. God, he’d been so naïve back then, and he was finally seeing the truth. He handed John the gun, he gave up the only sense of protection he had because _John_ was the General, and _John_ was supposed to fight. What about him? Lieutenant Xander Lee, who was _the_ best field agent in the force, who was more than capable of having his own team. Why had he done such a foolish thing.

But what had it mattered when those shots were fired into his skin. He brushed over the area where the wounds should have been, and tears had fallen when his hands hadn’t come back stained with his own blood. He should have died; _HE SHOULD HAVE DIED!_ He wasn’t wanted, he wasn’t wanted as much as John told him that he was. He was disposable, discardable, _just_ a physicist, _just_ a Lieutenant, and he had nothing for him anymore. It had been _John_ to collapse against _him_ while _he_ was dying, and _he_ had to comfort John! He’d told John it wasn’t his fault.

How fucking wrong he’d been.

John had helped him to stand and they’d made their way to his office adjacent to the lab. Though his physical figure didn’t move, the vision progressed, and the white cleanliness of the room became stained a dark crimson as his life was written away into the depths of the universe’s known patterns. The medical bed he’d kept in the corner of the room in event of emergency had been replaced with more desks and cabinets for filings, and thank goodness he’d made a better decision in this dimension than he had in that one.

He was hooked up to a monitor, and his eyes fixed on the line as it rose and fall with every beat. John, with little to no medical training, started stitching him up, but he’d lost so much blood, and there wasn’t any way he was stitching up 6-8 bullet wounds correctly. He’d told him that it hurt as his breath fell shallow, and John told him to hold his breath instead of focusing on the problem. He was soon flipped on to his stomach, and Xander noticed the stitches had been lazy and rushed, though it could have been partially down to John’s shaking, but it wasn’t enough.

He told him he loved him. Those were his last words. Instead of John confirming it, he kissed him. Xander had died without the comfort John loved him. He tried to revive him, and it didn’t work.

It led him to now. He wasn’t crying out of sadness, more out of direct pain. He was infuriated by the man he said he loved, by the man he was destined to marry. In the last dimension, he’d died, and reliving the scene was bitter because it stung like salt to an open wound. When his vision followed John back to the main room, he hadn’t said about Xander, because he was just the minority. If it hadn’t had been for Schaffer, would he have even spoken about it, or would he have drowned in his own sorrows? John said Xander had died protecting him. What a load of bullshit, and he knew it. He’d died because he was standing with his back turned to Wilbur. He died because John had been careless instead of getting a medic. He had the audacity to say he wanted him back then. He fell to his knees, and Xander could see his pain, could _understand_ his pain, but what did it matter.

John didn’t consider the effect it would have on Xander whenever he dived head first into danger, and came back grinning with a stab wound, or a new set of cuts that would certainly scar. He didn’t care about the panic attacks that would happen throughout the day as Xander thought about that morning being the last one he shared with him, his golden-haired beauty, and what the _fuck_ did it matter?!

John overdosed that night out of spite. He tried to off himself on alcohol poisoning and it _wasn’t fair._ He’d died, and people instantly forgot about him because of _John._

For the next half an hour, he contemplated everything. Whether John’s feelings were genuine, or in the event Nick came back, and Xander wasn’t there, he’d be influenced too easily and went against his own beliefs, that the power of the human heart was _not_ the strongest thing in the world. He always told that to the new recruits, to the people he encountered on missions, to the scared beings that consumed him. “ _The power of the human heart, son, is_ _the strongest force on Earth. Use it carefully, and always remember to check up on those who seem different,” _it’s what he always said, and Xander had always smiled at his tenderness, at his generosity.

It was all a lie.

And he knew what happened after. Only Schaffer had mentioned him, Schaffer continued his legacy, but the only difference was _Elle didn’t exist._ She died in the apotheosis, and her life had been eliminated from this timeline. All the photos John had of him with his daughter, they didn’t exist anymore. Whenever Xander tried to bring it up, John’s face turned cold, and his voice deepened, and he told him to stop and change the conversation, or not to speak at all. John McNamara was not all that he claimed to be.

As soon as Xander was gone, he tried to go too. He lured the attention on to himself, pulling the recognition away from someone who deserved it more, and came up with something so abstract it couldn’t work. He knew how challenging it was on a mental state when a loved one passed, but if he became reliant on Xander just to get up in the mornings…it was toxicity at it’s prime. Sure, John had depression, and Xander had PTSD. There were days where John wasn’t able to move at all, he’d shut himself away, and Xander assisted him, bringing him whatever he needed. It was the same for when Xander was at his low points, though he expressed it differently. He couldn’t stay in bed, and would constantly try to run from a flashback that was right on the edge of his mind. John would hold him, and John would hold him tight in his arms, telling him he was okay, though Xander wasn’t too sure.

When he felt so heavy, so weighed down that he couldn’t move, it didn’t prevent him from getting out of bed and grabbing something small. Even if it meant that was the only time he got out of bed, he was still able to do it. Sometimes he felt like he couldn’t, but there would always be something that pushed him to move, a source of light at the end of the darkest tunnel. Usually that light would be John, and what their family would become. Now it was nothing.

He was angry. God was he angry. He had to restrain his hand from punching the glass on his monitor. He swiftly logged out and wiped the sweat off of his palms as he stood. He needed to sort things out with John, and he didn’t care that it was the middle of Christmas Day. He didn’t care that it was supposed to be a celebration.

He should have died. _He should have died._

* * *

John looked around at the table around him, everyone chatting delightfully as he watched them all interact. Some of these people wouldn’t have seen each other since the apotheosis, and some wouldn’t have seen each other since Black Friday. For John, there were a lot of people there he knew, who he recognised, and who they knew as family. There was Lex, of course, Lex and Hannah, with Ethan who smiled brightly, seated beside his uncle Hidgens. Hidgens had an unfamiliar man with faded red hair beside him, his arm wrapped around the professor’s. To the side of him where five other men, two with darker skin, the others pale. John didn’t know any of them aside from the one in the red and black varsity jacket. His parents named him Greg, though his jacket always had a J on it for some reason. That was John’s uncle, and they rarely spoke. The last John had heard, Greg had died. Good.

Beside them was Ted and Charlotte, who were huddled close together, and Charlotte donned a new ring on her finger that certainly wasn’t a wedding ring, and quite possible could be either a promise or an engagement ring. Bill sat beside Charlotte, and Paul sat beside him. Emma was by his side, followed by Zoey and Nora.

Near them were the Davidsons and the other well-known groups in Hatchetfield, like the remaining members of the Monroe family, and also Gary Goldstein and Michael Icacks. John had to admit, Gerald did not look thrilled to be seated directly next to Michael at all. Ken Davidson was John’s uncle, and Gareth Icacks had been _his_ cousin, meaning John was related to his old general, and to Micah, but that took too much effort to even get into.

At the other end of the table, by Lex, were “the smoke club,” so Ollie, Lucas, Deb, Alice, Sof, Danny and Bee, who all seemed to be thrilled. Schaffer sat to John’s right, and Melissa sat by Schaffer, but there was a space left for Xander if he chose to join them, that was between him and Gary. Tim, Tom and Becky were also there around, but John hadn’t been able to locate them yet.

For the sake of things, and for Ted’s entertainment, they’d invited Sam, but they’d sent him to the corner where there sat a single desk waiting his presence as soon as he’d stepped foot in the room. John didn’t hate many people, but he did hate his cousin with a passion.

He allowed his senses to indulge in the comforting aroma of the room as he took another sip of his drink. If the room had been quieter, he’d have heard Xander’s footsteps storming down the hall. If he’d have looked up sooner, he’d have seen the beads of fire falling down the dark skin of his fiancé, and if he’d have acted quicker, he’d have stood up, instead of being forcibly removed from his chair. He didn’t process it quick enough as Xander grabbed his arm, pulled him up, and slapped him across the face, and he didn’t hold back.

The room fell silent then, all eyes on the two men. John flinched harshly and stumbled back against the wall, his breath shortening as he hid the fresh, hot hand mark on his face. He hadn’t seen Xander angry before, not to this extreme. He could already tell that there was a difference between Xander’s slaps and Nick’s. Xander’s _had_ to be prompted, and Nick’s weren’t. If Xander’s slaps weren’t prompted…then what was he going to do?

He looked into Xander’s eyes, as more tears fell down the Lieutenant’s face. They both knew all attention was on them, for the room remained silent, anxiously awaiting what either of the men had to say. There was a brief moment before Xander finally spoke.

“We need to talk.”

Xander let go of him then and walked back out, the door slamming hard behind him, though nobody touched it. John flinched, but hopefully his reaction was hidden by his hair that had moved into his face. Shocked, he looked around the room and swallowed. He laughed hesitantly before backing away to the door. “I’ll be back,” he told them, and rushed out to find Xander.

He didn’t usually get scared, but there was something else happening with Xander now, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t intimidate him. Now he wanted to talk, and that _never_ ended well. He wasn’t a fool, he’d been through it before, and he was expecting it to end the same as every other outcome he’d been through. He prepared himself for the worst as he walked down the narrow passages that became the halls of PEIP, that seemed to want to block him from getting to his final destination, to revealing the truth. He was determined, although, and with a final push, he found himself at Xander’s door. It was open. Taking that as an invite, he stepped inside as he saw Xander at his desk. The door slammed behind him which caused him to flinch, but he had a feeling this wasn’t about him.

This was about Xander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HaNcOX uSeS tHe TheME oF tRUtH coNsistenTlY tHroUghOuT cHAPtEr 36 BeCAuse ThiS is How ManY cHAPters TAHS hAS iN iT aND on THE lAST ChapTer OF TLBTS It'S gONna ReVeal eVERYthinG yOU Ever KneW Was A bIg LiE! 
> 
> me: yes xander discovers truth xander be angee  
> me: "john pull attention away from xander. john can't get over his exs. john think of nick when xander slap him. consistencyyyy"
> 
> anyway i hope u enjoyed because i enjoyed writing a 3000 word (pretty much) chapter that's mainly no dialogue
> 
> and yeah this is based off of the "every character in the HF series played by the same actor is related somehow"
> 
> and fuck sam xoxo


	37. I Hear His Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander tells John the truth, and only the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings are exactly the same as the last chapter:
> 
> fun fact, the 26th september 2019 was the first time Colonel Nicholas Johnson made an appearance in Something You Pine For. The 25th September 2020 was when Col. Nick Johnson was given a middle name. the 27th September 2020 (canonically, in TAHS) is the mcnamander wedding. ]
> 
> so what the fuck am i gonna do tomorrow?

John took a breath as he looked up, and saw the undeniable anger in Xander’s eyes, which began to frighten him. “Xander…what’s wrong?” He asked, trying to keep his calm to a maximum, but there seemed to be a heartbeat like pulse around the room that made it hard for him to focus. “Please, talk to me. I _want_ to help.”

“Don’t act dumb,” the physicist told him as he slowly lifted his head up from his desk, looking at his fiancé before him. There were electrifying sparks of blue that flickered in his brown eyes, illuminating his features and the desk in front of him. It was a supernatural phenomenon, not one unknown to man, but certainly not one seen in human form. He should be keeping his powers under control, he shouldn’t be letting himself get so overwhelmed with this, but John almost _cheated_ on him because his ex came back in the picture, and it wasn’t fair. He’d been taken advantage for all over again. It was exhausting. From the youngest of ages, since his father had assisted him with finding his power, he’d been seen as something exotic, and because of that he was wanted to be used as attractions worldwide. It forced him into hiding. He didn’t move from the house until he was 19 and in need of a job.

John could see the anger sparkling around him, creating short bursts of electricity in the air, and the heartbeat in the room got louder. It took a while before John managed to find words to string a sentence together, and also managed to come to the conclusion that the heartbeat he was hearing was, in fact, his own. It seemed louder because of the strong wave of fear that was holding him captive. “What do you mean ‘don’t act dumb?’ I don’t understand why you’re mad? Please, I want to make things better, I want to talk this through with you!”

“December 25th 2018, Dimension 2BX7JE9. There was a loud bang that came from the portal room, which is actually _this_ room, just converted now that the portal serves no use to the company. You walk in here where Nick and Wilbur are, and they begin to use you, yet you fight back when you’re pinned to the wall defenceless. You fight back until…until Nick unbuttons your shirt.” He met John’s blue-grey eyes and kept his gaze locked on the general. “And as he started to unbutton your shirt, something in you changed, didn’t it?”

“What?” John asked softly as he racked his brain, thinking back to what happened in that particular dimension that they analysed once together.

“Seconds later I broke down the door to _this_ room, and fired a shot. Only _then_ were you let go. If I hadn’t have broken down that door, you would have cheated on me, wouldn’t you?”

John then realised what the purpose of Xander’s flaming outburst had originated from. He knew what he was doing when he was with Nick and Wilbur, but _damn,_ he did miss them, and he never fully got over them. He had craved that love, and had struggled to come to terms with the fact that they were gone. He didn’t have the father figure he’d once desired, he didn’t have the husband he’d loved. Sure, his mentor _could_ be too harsh at times, and Nick was certainly the worst person to ever roam Earth’s grounds, but he did become attached to them. It was why he had a hard time moving on, so to see them again…it did spark something in him that shouldn’t have been lit. Especially when Nick had been in such a close proximity. To feel him again, his desire for his ex came back…and he wouldn’t have been able to control himself if Xander hadn’t of broken down the door. If he confessed it to him, their relationship would fall apart again. If he lied, he was sure Xander wouldn’t believe it, for he discovered part of what happened when he wasn’t in the room at the time, so he chose the third option. He remained quiet.

Xander grit his teeth as his own heart pounded slightly harder out of adrenaline and pure fury. He shook his head as the truth was confirmed by John’s silence. He could see the brightness of the blue in John’s eyes fade to something much sadder, to something more reluctant. Something only a liar would have in their soul that was finally coming into view. The truth. He shook his head more as he slammed his fist down on the desk. There was that part of him that had wanted the vision to only be his paranoia, to be a twisted flashback that was fictional, yet it wasn’t. John would have cheated if he hadn’t of been in the room. He died in that dimension, and John drank himself to near death, and he did it out of pure selfishness. “And yet you have the audacity to look me in the eyes and tell me you love me every day.”

“I’m telling the truth!”

“Yeah! You certainly are, John! You’re telling the truth with your abrupt silence that confirms my worst fears. I got _engaged_ to you in that dimension, and you go ahead and almost cheat on you with your abusive, manipulative, sadistic ex?!” He laughed bitterly as the electricity around him crackled more, the smell of fire only affecting him. “I thought it was weird how quick you moved on. I did. I thought it was bizarre how, in the new dimension, when you came into view, you walked up to me, you grabbed my wrist and you kissed me while I was working. You knew how I felt about you, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

“John, in that timeline, when you came into our reality with the others, and Paul and Emma became set up in the hospital, do you want to know how long it had been since July 28th 2018?” More silence followed and Xander stood up. “It wasn’t even a day,” he said, and his voice shattered. He was much quieter than before, finally allowing John to see his heartbreak.

John blinked and sighed, tearing his eyes away from Xander, speechless. He hadn’t given himself time to move on, and in the process, had damaged himself more. “God, Xander, I-I’m so sorry…”

“But I can’t accept your apology,” he said as he looked at him. “I fell in love with you years ago, I thought you were _the_ most beautiful man out there, and when you kissed me in my lab, not only did I feel like the luckiest guy out there, but I felt like I finally had my dreams in my hand. I comforted you in the darker times, I laughed with you during the lighter ones. I helped you off of your addictions, I helped you with Elle, I helped you with your depression and your anxiety, I cooked, I cleaned, I did _everything_ for you! And what was I met with? A foolish son of a bitch who constantly jumped head first into danger to keep his identity heroic with no regard to me, someone who told _me_ to let his own daughter die just because you didn’t want to fuck up the timeline! The timeline was already fucked from the beginning!”

“But I wasn’t her father in this timeline, you know this!”

“You willingly let a child die for your own benefit alongside Nick!” Xander looked back at him as tiny bolts of lightning coloured blue began to grow larger around Xander’s form. “You claimed to have loved me, when you couldn’t even move on from your ex-husband! You’re still hung up on him, and don’t even try to admit you’re not, because I know you are! It isn’t fair anymore, John! I’ve done everything for you, and I’ll continue to do everything for you, because I love you! But the difference between me and you is that I’m the one putting effort into this relationship.”

“That isn’t true!”

“You’re off on missions, dangerous missions, may I add, and I’m alone for days, sometimes weeks, on my own, and I’m expected to take care of myself when my PTSD flares up. When I need you most, you’re never there? You come home, and you see me upset, and you don’t know what to do. You never ask. You go and get coffee, and you’ll change, and you’ll sit beside me. You’ll talk about your day, and I’ll listen because it’s all I ever do, and I know you get distracted easily, but when I need to talk to someone and I want to talk to you, why don’t you ever listen?” His voice cracked again, and he was becoming more upset as the truth spilled out.

John didn’t have an excuse. Relationships had been hard for him in general, so for someone like Xander to show interest in him, and to fall in love with him, instead of using him like Nick did…it was strange, and it was unusual, and he didn’t feel like he was worthy of Xander’s love. Sometimes he did become distant because he didn’t know how to accept the feelings he’d wanted for so long, so je rejected them. He didn’t know Xander had felt like this. “I don’t have an excuse regarding my behaviour. All I can say is that I never intended to hurt you, and I love you, Xander. I love you so much. Believe it or not, I love you more than anyone.”

“Yeah? Then let me go.”

“What?” John asked and looked up at Xander, his eyes saddened. “No-, no no no, Xander, please, please don’t-“

“If you love me, then you’ll accept the fact that you need to finally come to terms with the fact you lost Nick, and that you need to recover. You know I love you, but if you don’t know how to love someone to the full extent…” He looked at John and shook his head. “We survived two apocalypses together, three if you include the one from our original timeline, so I had a feeling you knew this was coming, as did I. We need a break from each other, because if we don’t, we’re only going to become worse.” Reluctantly, he took off the ring he’d been gifted earlier that morning and stepped forward to John, placing it in his hand. “This isn’t the end, but we need time apart. You need to heal, and I’m not doing good either, you know this. I love you, John McNamara, but we need this break.”

John bit his cheek and nodded as he closed his hand, slipping the ring back into his pocket. He looked up to Xander and swallowed. “How long are you going to be away for? And where are you going to go?”

Xander paused to consider it for a minute before looking back at him. “Give it a month, and I’ll be with my dad. I’ll also be coming to work on the regular basis, but I don’t think it’s good we see each other in that time either. If I am to go on missions, I don’t want to go on any with you.”

“Why?” John asked nervously, and he heard the crackle of electricity by him again.

“Did you just listen to anything I said?! We aren’t working out, John! We need this time apart from each other, and if that means not being in communication with you for the next 31 days, then let it be! But we aren’t good for each other, we’re becoming toxic and the last thing I want is to lose you!” The lights flickered, and Xander’s eyes began to fade to blue. “But I never had you to begin with, because you were hung up on Nick! Tall, dark haired, blue eyed Nicholas Benjamin Johnson, who’d give you anything you asked for with a price, and you worshipped him like some God! He drowned in your love, he drowned in your support, and-“

Glass sprinkled down on them as the light blew out, leaving the only glowing thing in the world to be an outline of Xander’s figure, as well as his eyes. John knew what was happening, for he’d been trained to deal with this event were it to ever happen. He shakily reached for his belt, and grabbed his gun. He took out the bullets, instead loading them with tranquiliser darts. “Xander, you need to-“

“Don’t you dare shoot me with that fucking gun. You’ve lost my trust once, and if you shoot me, you’ve lost me for good.” In the darkness, the two managed to look into each other’s eyes, and they both got caught up in the blue irises of the other, and somehow, the fight was managed to be calm. Xander moved John out of the way and opened the door. “I’ll see you next month,” he said before he slammed the door shut on his way out.

John took a breath as he stayed where he was, in the darkness, which managed to comfort him through his fear. A month. A month to get over Nick, a month to figure himself out. He still had Xander’s contact, and he could email Xander for assignments he was sure. The smallest amount of contact would be enough for him. He didn’t need much when it came to reassurance, just that smallest form of contact to assure himself Xander was okay. As long as he healed, as long as he figured out what it would take for him to become a good person, or just a better one, then he knew he’d be okay.

As he looked up from placing his gun back in his belt, he saw a faded blue figure in front of him that created the silhouette of his once beloved, Nicholas Johnson. His smile appeared first, and he waved, before he disappeared into the darkness, the particles that formed him dancing around John. Unable to stay any longer, he walked out of the room and back to where the party was happening. He slumped back down and took Xander’s ring out of his pocket. Though Nick was still watching over him, he had a month to make things right.

He had a month to help Xander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaooo nick making a brief cameo there, as are xander's powers. hi and welcome to the ceo of xander is a part of the black and white and has powers au, enjoy your stay
> 
> also nick looks like if robert manion and darren criss had a baby. anyway-
> 
> john and xander in this chapter be like: NOW WE'RE FIGHTING IN A GROCERY STORE AND I LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE YOU ANYMORE


	38. A Matter Of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander faces a tough decision, and the answer is dropped right into his hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say happy october chapter but-
> 
> Two things:  
> if you are reading my hatchetober prompt series, you will know who astraia is. for those who don't, it'll be explained further in book 4. 
> 
> Second thing: I can not stress enough but the only trigger warning for this chapter is a non-graphic, but successful, su***de attempt. Please be careful reading this chapter, and there'll be a summary at the end if you choose to skip it

_“Yeah? Then let me go.”_

What a stupid thing for him to say. No, really. One minute he was complaining about his PTSD flaring up, being alone, and how he needed John. Why was he being so sensitive? Of course, John would be on more missions than he was, he was the fucking general of the united states military, and he was a theoretical physicist. He’d done so much for the _fucking_ united states himself, the world even, and what did he get? A lousy title and a laboratory. He got a ring that signified his and John’s eternal bond, but what did it matter.

“ _You know I love you, but if you don’t know how to love someone to the full extent…”_

He felt his eyes burn with tears as he became angrier. How could he. How could he have done that to him when he was so vulnerable. If they hadn’t been sent back in time, and they hadn’t fixed everything, and The Apotheosis and Black Friday had followed the same pathway as they’d done in dimensions 1 and 2, then maybe they’d still be together. This should be the good timeline. This was the one where Paul didn’t die, this was the one where Wilbur didn’t pin him and- and it all went wrong still. He couldn’t help but think what would have gone on if they’d gone through the same timelines. If Paul contracted The Apotheosis and dropped dead like a fly at his wedding, with Emma sobbing into his cold chest, and if Ethan had died, with Linda still being shot in the head, but Wiggly started World War 3. What would Earth look like now?

_“We need a break from each other, because if we don’t, we’re only going to become worse.”_

He owned no ring anymore. There was no marriage that was about to happen, there was no love. He was tired, and he was trying to force himself to be numb. John always did it so well. If there was a problem he tried to avoid, the majority of the time, he’d lock everything away, so why couldn’t Xander do that? Oh wait, maybe it’s because of the fact that he is a literal part of The Black and White. Fabric from the realm stitched permanently into his genetics that give him a power of none other, one that’s able to access things that others can’t see. The future, the past, the other dimensions. He was able to relive them as if he were blinking, or if they occurred yesterday. They sure as hell felt like yesterday.

_“I love you, John McNamara, but we need this break.”_

A tear fell down his face, and with it came a bright blue flash. The lights behind him smashed, and the hallway became darker. With every burst of emotions that ran through him, another light smashed. He looked down at himself, and his veins were glowing a neon blue. Some may be concerned for him, and ask if he had The Apotheosis himself. He knew the answer. These were his powers taking full root. He’d been too scared to try and access them before, for there were no strong emotions he felt. He never felt hatred, he never felt mad, and now he did…he was gonna rain hell upon the place that damaged him permanently without a sense of sympathy to partner his trauma with it.

_“If I am to go on missions, I don’t want to go on any with you.”_

He loved going on missions with John. On the good ones, they’d laugh and end up in each other’s arms that night, tangled in the covers, as one of them attacked the other with kisses as the second’s laugh became stronger and bolder. They’d watch some shitty movie, and would sleep content without a worry against the other, taking in his scent. On the bad ones, there’d be nursing. Usually it would be John, and Xander would help him undress, and if there wasn’t a full set of medical equipment necessary for that one injury, Xander would treat him with chemical formulae he could come up with, and heal his scars on the spot. He’d brush John’s hair up into a ponytail and wipe away any dried blood before stitching, kissing John’s soft spot on his neck as he calmed him and wiped his tears away. But sometimes, he’d be the one in John’s position. He’d try to tell him he was okay, because part of his powers was self-healing, and healing for others, but John wouldn’t have it. He was slightly rougher, and if he got too rough, he’d become the gentlest man on the planet. John would be careful, tucking Xander in tight in bed, with no sign of leaving his side. Look where that got them now.

_“We’re becoming toxic and the last thing I want is to lose you!”_

The worst part was he couldn’t even lie about it. He strode through the halls of PEIP, each that accompanied him with a rhythm that matched the beat of his footsteps as his eyes turned from the dark brown agents were familiar with to the same blue that ran through his veins. The whites of his eyes turned blue, the pupil of his eye closed. How could he have hidden this at one point in his life? With the right training, that he had, he was the most powerful person on earth. He could do anything he wanted. Now, without any fear of harming those he loved for they were all either dead, missing or on the other side of the country, he was going to shatter glass and watch them tread through it.

_“I never had you to begin with!”_

He felt a warm bead roll down his face and on to his lip that he wiped away with a glowing blue palm. He shot a laser of light on to the tiles that left a mark. One that was so unique it had never been documented. One that took the form of a burn, but tile didn’t burn, and certainly not PEIPs. Everything in PEIP was resistant to pretty much everything, but they hadn’t met Xander yet. If he never had John to begin with, and if John had PEIP, then Xander could no longer call PEIP home either. He was angry, he was distraught, and he was going to _pay_ for it.

_“If you shoot me, you’ve lost me for good.”_

_“Lost me for good.”_

_“Lost me for good.”_

With an animalistic scream, he burst into his lab, and let himself be consumed by the light he’d once been so afraid with. He could feel the electricity and static around his head, a thumping pulse in his ears, and the active portal radiation sticking to him. He tried to shatter the lights in there, but was unsuccessful, and found himself sobbing again. He had the urge to destroy, the urge to get the breakup out of his hair, but it wasn’t just a breakup. It had started with his and John’s wedding where he’d ran, and tried to blow up the dimension as things had gone upside down once more. Instead of comfort, he’d been shouted at, and then Wilbur had been in the back of the car, and he’d been sent back to 2007 with his husband, or who he thought was his husband. If he were to protect himself from the chaos he got entangled in, then he was going to leave permanently.

There was the obvious fear that consumed him as the light continued to consume him. He sobbed out in pain, and as he caught his reflection in a mirror, he realised he was dressed in a dark blue suit, which was obviously The Black and White’s doing. He cried harder as he sat down at his desk and ran his hands over his face, which was soaked with tears. As he shut his eyes, he saw three outcomes, and three different dates.

_25 th December 2019: John McNamara comes home to Xander, with a cat in his arm and his coat folded against himself. Xander was on the couch, at home, with a smile on his face as he rested. John walked in, draped the coat over Xander as a blanket, and turned, placing the cat down on the ground. He recomposed his posture in the mirror, fixing his hair, before kneeling down beside Xander’s side and pressing a kiss to his cheek. There was a faint blue glow that surrounded them both. Pros: on the 27th September 2020, they get married. Cons: Xander dies in the field, and John joins him shortly after due to an infection he didn’t bother to treat. _

_25 th December 2019: John McNamara comes home, but Xander isn’t seated on the couch. Instead, there was another man, with lighter skin. He unfolded the coat he held in his arms and wrapped it around the sleeping man as he set a gift down beside him. He whispers a name in the ear of the other man, which wakes him. There’s love in both of their eyes. A phone lights up with a message, and the contact says it’s from Xander himself addressed to John. He wishes him and George a wonderful Christmas, and that he and Dan would be in tomorrow at 6 AM sharp. Pros: Xander moved on and found his true soulmate. Cons: John never left his mind, and though Xander was happy, couldn’t resist his heart aching as he saw John kissing the other man in the corridors of PEIP._

_25 th December 2018: There was nothing but the sad face of a woman, who resembled Xander’s complexion. She had long silvery purple hair and wore a dress, embroidered with lace that resembled spider webs. Her eyes were a silvery grey, and she seemed kind. From beside her, there was another girl, with pale skin, blue hair cut to her chin, and a dress that reminded Xander too much of The Apotheosis. The first woman held out a gun to Xander and whispered something that was hard to believe himself. Pros: he’d be free. Cons: He’d be dead. _

Xander couldn’t resist it anymore. The woman, as he opened his eyes, was in front of him. She brushed a hand over him, and she was cold, yet there was some sort of warmth there at the same time. She shook her head, outstretching the gun to him, encouraging him to do it. Xander learnt, with his years in the force, that if someone was struggling too badly and the pain they were in was uncurable, it was better to let them die than to save them if it was going to do further damage.

He took a breath as his heart pounded. He scribbled down a quick note, one that didn’t make much sense, but his brain was splitting apart. He took one final look at his laboratory as he took a breath.

“May he find a husband who loves him more than I.”

_Bang._

In his final moments, he heard the door clatter open and someone scream-sob his name as he was lifted against that person. He felt the blood dripping down the side of his head, but he didn’t remain conscious for much longer.

The war ended when Xander died, which was now.

He was greeted in The Black and White by the women, and Xander found the picture clearer now. She was familiar, all too familiar, and her name was Webby. Beside her stood Astraia, and next to them stood four others. A blood-stained denim jacket clad man with slicked back red hair, a bleached-blonde bitch with a bullet through her forehead, an eldritch god that lit up the realm with long tentacles and powerful lamps for eyes, and someone Xander didn’t recognise. Someone covered in purple fur with a single yellow eye, just over the size of the average human.

Webby, with a circular flick of the wrist, produced a small, white cylinder that looked like it could fit on Xander’s keychain. She held it out to him, and gestured to the empty wall of glass in front of him. He took it, and he knew what it was. It was a hydrogen bomb, and it was the very same he’d tried to use on his and John’s wedding day back in dimension 3. He took a deep breath and threw it in to the realm, watching a white light blind everyone. He shielded himself, but was caught by someone’s arms. He turned and saw Webby, holding him gently.

“Reset number 3, dimension number 4.” She spun Xander to face him and smiled gently. “You did all you could, my son, but for now? You don’t belong there. They treated you roughly and it left you damaged. Let mother clear your mind before she sends you home. You’ll be better, and they’ll see the mistakes they made.” She cupped Xander’s cheek and offered her a warm smile. “You’re one of us now, son. You’ve always been one of us.”

“But…you’re bad?” Xander questioned, and the others laughed.

“Nobody is entirely good, Xander,” Astraia said and grabbed Xander’s shoulders, before Webby pulled him back. “Your powers were no coincidence and they were no gift. _You,_ little Zeezee, you’re our ticket to the end of the world. So…what are we gonna do?”

“Ignore her,” Webby said, and walked Xander away into a lighter corner of the darkness. “You’re a part of the good, they’re a part of the bad. We rule this place.” She looked into his eyes. “So…what are we going to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the summary goes xander goes through a mental break, sees three outcomes three years apart that'd follow on from that dimension and alter it slightly (3.0, 3.1 and 3.2.) He chooses to follow on with 3.0 and ends up in the black and white with Wilbur, Linda, Wiggly, Blinky (nightmare time), Astraia, and Webby, who calls Xander "son" and describes herself as "mother" in context to to the conversation with him. they hydrogen bomb the realm, and a new one starts up.
> 
> and it was left on a cliffhanger so
> 
> hey fun fact this was originally gonna end on john and xander's wedding from book 2 but nightmare time happened and my inspiration reutrned anyways!!

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this! please leave kind comments, and kudos are very much appreciated
> 
> also i like to bully sam bcs acab, and i'm sorry for the chapter lengths towards black friday, i don't even know what happened there


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